Does anyone else have this problem?

[Valnorran]

Lately I've lost just about all interest in the goings-on in the world of men. I just flat don't care anymore. I have a nice little job, one with relatively few demands, yet making myself do it is a herculean task. Making myself do normal household chores like washing the dishes (which usually takes me all of five minutes) is a major challenge. I've always been a wee bit lazy and a bit of a procrastinator, but I've never been like this in my life, even when I was a kid. Also, I find my temper to be noticeably shorter than normal. It just seems to me like the majority of my efforts are directed to doing things that have no consequence whatsoever. The only reason I work is to pay bills. My sole purpose in having a career is the persuit of those maddening bits of green paper. If I didn't have a family I think I'd be perfectly content to hole up in some isolated mountain or forest (hell, I wouldn't mind a desert, for that matter) and spend the rest of my life as an eccentric hermit. I find myself wishing I could just divorce myself from a world in which my life is spent in persuit of material things, many of which aren't necessarily luxuries anymore. You need a car to go to work. Computers are becoming more and more important every day. You need a house, and in some places even renting a place to live is exorbitent. All of this furious effort for money. With each passing day it makes less and less sense to me. I almost wish we didn't have all the things. That way I wouldn't waste energy desiring them. We spend so much effort chasing money that we end up paying other people to raise our children for us, and what truly sickens me is that many people have to do this just to maintain a simple standard of living. Even if they want to check out of the rat race and live a simple life and raise their family, they can't. Society won't allow it. Why is society so insistent that I do things its way? Why does it hound me so? What did I ever do to it? And this makes raising my kids and teaching my students very difficult. Why do I need an education? So you can get a good job. Why do I need a good job? So you can spend the rest of your natural life trying to break even. On the one hand, I feel like I can't tell them something like this. On the other hand, that is exactly the way I feel.

I just don't care anymore. I flat f***ing don't care. No matter how I try to make myself care, I can't seem to. Raising profits just looks plain silly next to raising a good family. But since we emphasize the former over the latter, perhaps I'm wrong. Society seems to be saying it's all right if your kids are morally bankrupt, as long as financially, you're not.

Anybody else have this problem, or am I in need of a good antipsychotic?

[Phoenix Blue]

Maybe just a good antidepressant. . . but I try not to pay a whole lot of attention to the news, etc. No more than I feel I need to, anyway.

Our lot in life is to work, pay bills, etc. But ideally, you have at least a few hours each day which are uniquely yours. Make the most of them. . . that's all I can think to say, really.

[Storm]

Yup. All of my life. Always attributed the lack of motivation to my ADD since even things I want to do I just can't make my self do. There are times I am ready to toss everything and hermit in the woods with nothing but the bear essentials. But then I sooo love hot water and indoor plumbing. And my stove and the fridge and my stereo... and then I say f*** it, I'll just stay here. Then I look around and think of all the chores and I just don't care. But then I can't stand discusting messes so my house is cluttered but fairly clean...You know. My clothes are nuerotically neatly folded but not put away. The floor is vaccuumed but the toys aren't put away. There is an empty shopping bag on the desk by me but I couldn't stand the soda ring my husband left behind. The only things I have ever been passionate about are my great loves, music, dancing, my family, and now my occult studies. If only I could've applied myself like that in school. Sounds like a big list but take into account all my interest that I just can't find the enthusiasm to do anything about....environment(though I recycle and don't litter), Used to be an art major..what was the last thing I drew or painted, Biology, zoology, I wanted to go back to school, don't care anymore if I do or don't, I sew wedding dresses, I am really good. Now if I could get off my butt and market myself, I'd have some customers.
I dunno. I don't consider myself lazy because I am always moving. Dancing to the radio. Running up and down the stairs for this or that. Spend lots of time outside with the kids. I just have no motivation to do the things that need to be done.
Storm

Oh and by the way..I don't sit around making excuses for myself like"I have ADD, wah, wah, I can't do that." I try, I really do and often I do really well but then I lose it. I don't sit around either though feeling sorry for myself thinking "why am I this way?" I am not saying you are but I don't want anyone to assume that this is what I am dong. I have seen other people do it, whine about it, that is.

[Raevyn]

*shrugs* I think all of us feel that way at some point or another, some more then others. I would suggest to you perhaps you should change careers if yours is so unfulfilling. Regardless of all the nice things we like to have, you do have the responsibility of feeding your family - maybe you could find a career that is something you like more, even if it just gets you by you'll at least enjoy it a helluva lot more. You're right, we live in a world where people are more concerned with money then happiness.

[Blueowl]

Val, I completely understand where you are coming from. Everyone feels that to one degree or another. This world known as the "rat race" after awile just gets ridiculous. Alot of people are accepting of this way of life, whereas others, can do it but after awhile it wears them down to the point of where you are at now. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way, and I wouldn't exactly call it depression or something you need anti-depressants for. Its very simple...just find yourself again and reconnect with who you are as a person and reclaim your life not doing for others so much as what it is Yourself and others. If you don't make yourself happy Val, no one else can. And when you are in a position where you feel trapped or stuck in a way of life that you ultimately did not plan or strive for...then its time to step back and revaluate where it is you wanted to be at this point in your life, and then take the steps neccesary (SP?) to make it yours instead of everyone's else's or how society states it should be. As you know nothing is easy in life, but it gets easier when you truly feel that you are in the drivers seat, not society. Don't get caought up in the negativity of the feelings, take those and turn it around into how it can be what yopu want it to be...for me feeling that way has been because I did not feel in charge of my life anymore. I hope I haven't been way off the mark on this, and that its helpful. Many blessings to you, I hope it all works out for you! Feel free to contact me via email or im if you ever need anything!

[Zaniah]

It hits me a couple of times a year, just when things aren't going the way they should and i start to question everything. Times like this, not even my faith holds much solace for me, because I get cynical and short-tempered. I do know however that I'm fully responsible for myself. If I wanted to get out of the rut, I could. But I don't want to yet, and that makes me angry. It's hard to get excited about anything. And it's always worse in the winter, whether you're subject to seasonal depression or not.

It's like... stress becomes stress-squared. Fatigue just doesn't go away, no matter how much you sleep. You look at the things you need to do, decide not to bother, and get angry at yourself later for not doing them. *sigh* I just hope I come out of mine soon.

[Xentor]

Greetings,

I feel like that every now and then. Especially with the anger at myself for not doing something I easily could have done...

So what do I do? I try and find something new, something exciting to do. Are you by chance above-average intelligent? Do you have ADD? Even though I can concentrate on the same subject for an extensive period of time, after a while everything gets boring.

So, change! Find something new, something you didn't look at before. Get a new hobby, find new friends, change sports. Go shop in a different mall. Go take a holiday in a different country. Learn an other language. Devote your energy to something different. Variation makes hungry.

There's even a scientific explanation: our mind easily gets bored with too many repetitions of the same. After the second time, a joke isn't funny anymore. You stop hearing low humming noises from heavy industrial sites. You stop hearing and feeling the train passing by if you live near a railway track. You stop smelling your dogs and cats. You even don't care anymore when watching yet another killing in the news. You stop wanting to read another example of this. We sometimes call this "getting used to". I call it "boring".

Divert your energy. Put some energy into something new and you will see you gain energy from it. Use that to get your life back in place, thus letting your relative benefit from your improvement. If you're not happy with your surroundings, be careful not to start disliking yourself. Change while you're ahead. Start while you can.

[Rani Drummond]

My life seems to be full of contradictions. I live in a town where most people are poor and depressed, and most of the houses are falling down (literally), and I have been lucky enough to rent a 200 year old cottage right on the edge of town. I have a hill just outside the back door, where I can go to blow the cobwebs away and feel free, and my home is full of history. I don't know how I would stay sane if I moved to a different house. And yet to pay for it I have to work as an accountant, full time with high stress and little appreciation. Sometimes I think, what's the point of working so hard to pay for this home when I never get to spend any time in it? I would love to do a worthwhile, creative, useful job, but then there's family, boyfriend, etc to think about. I guess we just have to weigh up which things are actually most important and do everything we can to fulfil them.

[FaeRain]

Val, thank you for putting what I feel also into words. I too feel the same (more or less) way and due to some great fortune am able to get out of the rat race. My husband was awarded some money the gov't owed him, so the credit card bills have been paid off. And we're moving back into our small, 1200 sq ft home in the country later this year b/c we decided that having the newly remodeled home in the city just isnt worth the HUGE mortgage and upkeep. Plus the kids (and I) miss the pond, watching dragonflies take flight and flying kites in the fields.

I just don't see how people afford these big houses and big SUVs...I suppose they're hungry and don't know how to feed themselves. Sooner or later the pace will have to slow down I hope, and the rat race can be declared over and done with.

Ah, I'm rambling and it's time to go home.

Blessings ~*~
FaeRain

[Knight]

Val,

I agree completely. I work for a retail florist. Today, we got the first rush of Valentine's Day orders. At times, I wanted to scream. One local Catholic girls' school had to put a moratorium on flower deliveries. The nun I spoke with said the girls' boyfriends seemed to compete with each other to get the biggest, flashiest flower arrangement.

Some years ago, a book called "The Overworked American" came out. The author concluded that we could work 20 hours a week, if we accepted a 1950 standard of living. But, most of us don't want to accept that, and our kids and significant others certainly don't. There is a constant drive to have the newest, best, and shiniest, and in some people, a sneering contempt for those who don't want or can't afford it.

There's a young man who works for us part time. He lamented the high cost of clothes. I suggested he try Salvation Army or Goodwill. He replied in a shocked tone, "A second hand store?!" The idea was that alien to him.

Of course, some of us are working to support someone else's standard of living. In the U.S., executive pay and compensation has risen so fast that if everyone else's pay had risen at the same rate, the average worker would be making over $100,000.00 a year! Americans pay more per capita for just Medicare and Medicaid (emergency health insurance for the elderly and poor, for those elsewhere) than citizens of civilized countries pay for their entire public health systems!

What to do about it? Beats me. We just had a pipe burst. The mess is mostly cleaned up, but I still call my home "SquishyHaus". If I had the answers, I would leave SqishyHaus far behind. The main thing is to try and find the joy you can. For me, it's my girlfriend Cathy, our cats, my friends, my hobbies. This forum helps. I really do look forward to it. Try to find ways to reduce your expenses. That way, you'll feel more in control. A good resource is "The Cheapskate Gazette". They have a couple of books out with lots of ideas on saving money. just remember, you're not alone. Thanks for giving voice to my own frustrations.

[Aijou_no_Tenshi]

"Men ... who above all else, desire power." - Galadriel from The Lord of the Rings

That quote is quite true, yes?

... Now adays, it seems as though no one cares about family, love, happiness, or dignity. It seems as though everyone is just caught up in getting those green pieces of paper with past president's pictures on the front. ... It seems to me, the human race itself has forgotten why it is here. ... Greed, power, and corruption has come over the human race, blinding it. Since when does money and riches come before family, friends, loved ones, etc. ... things that can't be replaced, in other words.

Do you see animals with little green pieces of paper? ... Do you see animals being greedy? ... The human race isn't supposed to be different from the rest of nature, yet everything is no commerialized and artificial. ... All other living things such as animals, plant life, etc. do whatever is NEEDED to live ... not WANTED. ... It's all about what people want now. People only going for what THEY WANT and rarely for what OTHER PEOPLE NEED.

I see what the human race has become. ... I must admit, I'm apart of it too. This machine that sits in front of me at this very minute, is apart of the artificial life that we've created. Technology ... oh how it's corrupted the world, making everything so stationary, ... making people lazy.

Why have we let this happen to our world?

[Valnorran]

I think it's the fact that I have no choice in the money thing that irritates me more than anything. I'm working full time, and my wife soon will be, yet every time we seem to get ahead up pops some unforseen expense that consumes everything. I've got my kids in a private school now, but I won't be able to next year. They're going up on their tuition, and there is just no way I can keep up with it. So I'll save some money by depriving my kids of a first rate education. Wonderful.

And it's not as though I want to inundate myself with material things. There are those toys I lust for, yet on those rare occasions when I have the money to spend on them, my desire for such things evaporates. I don't want it nearly as badly as I did when I was broke. I think this indicates that it isn't the desire for material things that bothers me, it's the fact that I have no choice in the matter due to lack of funds. It's not that I want a lot of stuff. I want the ability to decide for myself if I can have a few things. I see nothing wrong or shameful in enjoying myself every once and a while. If you start a new hobby or interest, chances are you'll have to spend some money on it. If you want to go and enjoy yourself somewhere, it'll probably cost money. Even the simplest things cost money. I'm waiting for someone to bill me for the air I breath and the gravity I selfishly use 24 hours a day. What was that Jimmey Buffett song? I Just Want to Live Happily Ever After Every Now and Then.

Do rising salaries drive rising prices? Economics is one of those subjects I just don't get once you move beyond supply and demand, but it seems like over time, as salaries go up, so do prices. Is this cause and effect? Things used to be so much cheaper, but salaries were also much lower. One thing I can't help wondering, though, is this: how much more can the standard of living go up? It seems to me that it cannot expand forever. Sooner or later the bubble has to burst, doesn't it? Anybody with a good understanding of economics please weigh in. To me, common sense alone would dictate that our rising standard of living will eventually come up against some sort of barrier. Then again, I would think common sense would also dictate that little green pieces of paper are, in and of themselves, worthless, but I'm dead wrong on that one.

[Blueowl]

Ahh, if only society would stop being so damn greedy...where the folks who don't have much, don't pay out alot and the folks that do, can compensate for those that don't. I live in Norhtern VA...and one of the reasons I don't work anymore is because I got sick of dealing with allthe people....too many around here...the whole concept around here of building cheap, half a million dollar homes, don't put any roads in to compensate for the extra traffic....it is a freakin mess here. And the question is...where are these people coming from and how can they afford to buy a half a million dollar house ...on 1/8 of an acre lot...the houses are so close, you could stand in your living room and spit into your neighbors house! This area is a prime example of the greed and bs that goes on in politics..and half of these builders around here cheated and lied to get to the point where they wer building these places....it has a tendency to get you in a pissy mood after awhile...but what can you do to stop it when its so far advanced and out of control?