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Faery-Wings
February 12th, 2003, 09:37 AM
Ok parents- think about your child's temper tantrum history? What was the longest tantrum you have witnessed?

Faery-Wings
February 12th, 2003, 11:58 AM
Ok who voted, "What's a tantrum?" ??? :smash:

JK! :p

I wanted to vote, "feels like a constant one" but Cait does have her moments of sweetness. :D

Her longest had to have been close to 2 hours. This morning was 30 minutes (which prompted the poll) all because I would not carry her to the living room. Ah, yea, ok, little one. That was worth a half hour tantrum.

What a way to start the day.

MammaStar
February 12th, 2003, 12:06 PM
J-man recently threw a hissy fit because I got his progress report from school and he was messing up BADLY. At the same time, his father called me telling me what a smart a$$ and PITA he was being at his house. So, I took all of his stuff...his gameboy, his toy soliders, his radio, his walkmans OUT of his room.

He came home, pitched a fit, telling me how unfair I was. I've tried a new technique with him recently too.....my son has a lot of rage that he doesn't deal with well, so when he does rage, I grab hold of him. I wrap my arms around him and hang on & I don't let go till he calms down. I've done it twice so far and it's calmed him down enough to tell me what's really bothering him.

Blueowl
February 12th, 2003, 12:43 PM
My girlfriends son used to throw some horrible tantrums..I voted the 30 - 60 min.

He has/had some massive issues with his worthless father and watching soem of the thing he did to his mother...funny ting about him though, he understands and comprehends things most kids his age at the time (3-5) don't know or care about. Andrew was very aware of things between his mom and dad...he is much better now, still very stubborn and lippy, but he is also medicated now for AdHD...she only medicates him during the week because of school, then he is off of it on the weekends...he has done a total turnaround...and still sharp as a tack!

Lavender
February 12th, 2003, 01:54 PM
The last tantrum I remember of Erick's was when he was about 5. We were having coffee at Granville Island...which is like a permanent Farmer's Market. He wanted another cookie and was told no. He promptly laid down on the concrete and started screaming and thrashing his arms and legs. My husband leaned down & put one of the shopping bags under his head & told him not to hurt himself too much. We sat there & continued drinking our coffee with this screaming kid at our feet. We got the strangest stares from people walking by! 8O After about 15 mins, he got up and sat down & finished his hot chocolate.

Flar's Freyja
February 12th, 2003, 04:11 PM
Actually, the 60 minute plus tantrum I witnessed was from a caseload child who ended up having to be admitted for treatment.

My own kids - 15 minutes max.

Margie
February 12th, 2003, 10:33 PM
My 4 year old Erica in her younger days could out tantrum even the best-I garuntee it! I mean kicking, screaming, throwing herself on the floor, into furniture, into walls, kicking furniture, the walls and me, screaming till she threw up, till she was hoarse, till people came knocking on our door cause they thought we were abusing her, ripping her clothes off. I'm not kidding. I was honestly a little afraid of her for awhile there. All of that would happen at the same time, in the same bout of tantrum and yes for upwards of 2 hours at times. She's all but an angel now. Just a normal 4 year old.

Witchy Cowgirl
February 12th, 2003, 10:36 PM
I don't remember my kids throwing TANTRUMS.
Not to say they didn't throw fits and not the say they don't get mad at me now and not speak to me - they have and they do.
But I wouldn't put up with actual tantrums from them and they knew it.
They've never thrown public fits - not to say they haven't acted up in public - but not in the manner I've seen other kids do.

BR has a friend who cries and whines when his mother tells him NO or that it's time to go. Instead of taking him by the arm and putting him in the car she just keeps talking to him and trying to explain to him why they have to go. Who can talk above a kids crying? This same child came to me at a ballgame and ask if BR could go some where with him after the game. I said NO and he immediately started whinning at me. I looked at him and asked if he understood what I said. He said yes and turned around and left.

I know some children have problems and can't control themselves.
But I think most children are more in the catagory as stated above in that the parents don't take an active role in teaching the child more approiate ways of handling their feelings.

I think everyone here has demonstrated what it takes to get kids over these kind of actions....espically what LdyStarLite had to say.
Imigination, a good support system, some good advise every now and then and most importantly a sense of humor will see you through.

Flaire-FireStar
February 12th, 2003, 11:04 PM
Originally posted by chryssi1

Ok parents- think about your child's temper tantrum history? What was the longest tantrum you have witnessed?

I'm not a mommy...But I was a babysitter for a friends' little brother who threw the worst tantrums I've ever seen a kid go through. :rolleyes:

When my friend was babysitting him, he would often chase her around with some object, intending to cause bodily harm, though, someone always managed to wrestle it away from him. (Good thing there were always 2 or more of us there). He would also cry, and throw extreme fits when his parents told him NO as well, though, I can't remember what they'd do when he threw them. Thank the Gods this wasn't in any public place.

For me, though, I'd have to say about 30-60. I had a wicked temper when I was in elementary. I didn't show it in public, but I often trashed my room - which was a killer to clean up after. I've got to say, that taught me pretty good!

Faery-Wings
February 13th, 2003, 11:20 AM
BK (before kids) I used to think that if a child was out of control, it had to be the parents' fault. Now in my case, I find it isn't me, it is her personality.

I usually do the "I cannot talk to you until you are calm" route. Maybe when she is really on a tear, she is too far gone at that point. I will tell her to "breathe in her pink" She breathes in pink and exhales all the junk she feels inside her. Or she is allowed to hold her rose quartz. Sometimes this helps, sometimes not. Next time she is really out of control, I am going to do what Starlite suggested. Mayebe she needs a bit of reassurance and love to help her pull herself together.

WynterWynd
February 14th, 2003, 06:34 AM
I guess I can count myself as very lucky neither of my boys have ever had a temper tantrum. Little pissy pouts out of the youngest one, but never any tantrums.

The longest one I have ever seen tho, was from my neighbors daughter in Texas. She and her mom were over visiting me, and I really forget what caused it, but it lasted almost two hours. I do remember my boys looking at her like she had lost her mind. They were only 2 and 5 at the time and really didn't understand why she was having a fit like that.

AmbivalentMirage
February 17th, 2003, 12:56 AM
I voted on behalf of my parents and chose "more than an hour". I used to be the ruling king of tantrums in my family. I still can hold the silent-treatment for a week. ;) Ask my mother... lol :rotfl:

FaeRain
February 18th, 2003, 04:46 PM
I voted 1-2 hours.

When my son was 4, I remember my mother, my 3 yo daughter and my son leaving a mall where there was a toy store. In this toy store there were some gardening tools for kids that DSK was having a fit for, but I was broke. I told him maybe he'd get them for his b-day and we left the mall...we were on the sidewalk outside when he just fell to the ground, kicking, screaming, tears rolling down his face. My mom took my daughter somewhere else and I just sat on a park bench nearby, watching and waiting for this to pass..

An older man carefully steps over him (it was also raining) and went to his car, pulled out his camera and came and layed on the sidewalk in front of him and took some pictures. He smiled at me and said that he had 3 kids and that they will grow out of this phase and left. I"ve often wished I had one of those photos!

mol
February 18th, 2003, 05:03 PM
I guess Semele and I are just lucky so far because Trey really doesnt do that. He will pull a "woe is me" every once in a while when he doesnt get his way but it usually only lasts for a few minutes if that.

Now, the girl. I dunno....she is pretty bitchy already. :)

buttercup
February 18th, 2003, 05:05 PM
I voted 30 minutes or less. I have to say that I've been pretty lucky with both of my girls. They learned quickly that mom will simply walk away and that made the tantrums stop pretty early. The longest one was probably 20 minutes, but it felt like a few hours since it was in the mall. My daughter was about 3 and threw herself onto the ground screaming and crying because she didn't get something she wanted. There were a few benches nearby and since she wasn't in the way of anyone, I sat down and let her go. A few people stopped to ask if she was O.K. and when I explained that I was going to let her finish it and then take her home they went on their way. She actually never threw another tantrum again.

Semele
February 18th, 2003, 05:11 PM
Yup, I am thinking it will be a whole different world with Trinity. She is a very strong minded baby and it will surely get ...er stronger and louder!

Faery-Wings
February 18th, 2003, 05:50 PM
Originally posted by Semele

Yup, I am thinking it will be a whole different world with Trinity. She is a very strong minded baby and it will surely get ...er stronger and louder!

All those times we have said that Scott and Trey are a lot alike....I have this feeling we'll be saying the same about Cait and Trinity! :lol:

I joke around saying she has been a challenge since conception. But even right after her birth, it was noticeable. I bumped into a friend at the car dealership when she was only a few weeks old. My friend took one look at her, and said, "She's your rebel." We still laugh about that and say how true it is!

MysticMama
February 19th, 2004, 06:22 PM
I voted "what's a tantrum" because my dd's are normally only a few minutes. She recovers quickly with my empathy and support. There are of course days when it seems like there are LOTS of these one or two minute events, but that comes with the territory.

http://www.cnvc.org/raisekds.htm

Yvonne Belisle
February 19th, 2004, 07:07 PM
My three older kids threw some major tantrums. Then I learned to ignore them when that didn't really work I gave them a limit for how many they could throw in a day. It was one so when they started to calm down I asked if they were sure they were done because this was the only tantrum they could throw. I got weird looks for it but it worked. The fits were fewer and smaller now I get typical teen stomping lol. My youngest has thrown a few tantrums but nothing major.

Vampy
February 26th, 2004, 12:45 PM
My boys have been really good about not throwing temper tantrums...

We talk about our feelings, and what someone did and why they chose to do it... but more basically I spoil my boys so they are used to getting what they want when they, although that is a bad thing when they get into real life, but they are to small to be worrying about that now.....

Forever Yours,
Vampy

FaerieGothMommy
February 27th, 2004, 10:10 AM
It wasn't my daughter, but i've witnessed my nephew have a tantrum that lastet longer than an hour, not nice!

fahawk
February 27th, 2004, 10:22 PM
My oldest daughter, had temper tantrums for a short time.. (I know, we as parents like to say, not my kid, never, well she did) ..really strange, cause they were almost always at the exact time everyday.. I could not pin-point the "why" as she had napped, wasn't hungry, or bored, or anything I could figure out..?? :(
My other children didn't seem to go through it like her..

Lots of times though, I would just tell my kids, starting when quite young, I do not want you misbahaving/acting that way when we go here or there, or go to visit..we do not act that way..
also being ready to distract them before they got to that point, getting them interested in something else,playing, reading a book, a snack, whatever was appropriate.... :) so their minds were with a new thought, activity..sometimes that can nip it in the bud.

Vampy
March 2nd, 2004, 12:04 PM
J-man recently threw a hissy fit because I got his progress report from school and he was messing up BADLY. At the same time, his father called me telling me what a smart a$$ and PITA he was being at his house. So, I took all of his stuff...his gameboy, his toy soliders, his radio, his walkmans OUT of his room.

He came home, pitched a fit, telling me how unfair I was. I've tried a new technique with him recently too.....my son has a lot of rage that he doesn't deal with well, so when he does rage, I grab hold of him. I wrap my arms around him and hang on & I don't let go till he calms down. I've done it twice so far and it's calmed him down enough to tell me what's really bothering him.


That is very smart, what I would recomend doing is, When you are restraining him constantly tell him that it will be ok, everything will be alright, Mommy is here, I love you, small things like that that way he will calm down quicker and know that you are there for him.

That is what I would do with my boys, but like I voted they hardly have temper tantrums

Forever Yours,

Antoninus
March 2nd, 2004, 12:52 PM
My niece used to thrown tantrums that made you laugh :D She'd pick up toys and fling them at anything larger than she was, that included people. Stubborn little girl, she did the whole thing, pounded her fists, kicked her feet. She hit anyboddy who tried to touch her when she was screaming.

Lunacie
March 2nd, 2004, 05:04 PM
My oldest granddaughter went through a stage of tantrums when she was not quite three. I tried the holding her firmly and lovingly, but she struggled even more then. What worked best with her was telling her that I couldn't understand her when she was crying or screaming or whining. Her little sister started having tantrums a little after turning one, and I would just pick her up and lay her down on the bed, telling her that when she calmed down she could get up and come back out. That worked pretty well then but doesn't work so well now. However, she's starting to understand and communicate better now, so I think it's time to start telling her that I can't understand her when she's screaming or crying... or whinine. I hate whining!

fahawk
March 6th, 2004, 10:50 AM
hmmm... well, .... yest. we were playing a board game with our children,,and somehow the subject of being spanked came up..needless to say the whole conversation got silly..because try as they might, the kids could not actually remember a spanking.

I do not think a light pat on the bottom, (light) as a wake up call is going to ruin anyones life down the road..but to hit hard enough to leave marks..or hitting out of rage..that is another story completely, and had nothing to do with discipline.

Whether children a pet, a horse, you name it, you start being abusive, and there are going to be bigger problems. Being agressive and mean, doesnt teach, except maybe fear.
Kids model what they see, and as my mom always pointed out, kids will learn what is expected of them, how to behave by how we adults behave in a situation.

I think most kids will try the temper tantrum stuff to some degree,,,they are learning and trying to figure out what is expected, what they need to do, and growing is a job!!

And yes, I think telling a child, I am not going to put up with this behavior this is not how we behave in this house, does help!

But each child, each personality is different.. I firmly believe too, that when we work outside the home, we need to have a dependable person, who our child can learn all the important things from. I believe too many caretakers, with differerent ways of doing things, just confuse the child, till they have know idea who expects what, and how to behave where...

Phoenix Blue
March 6th, 2004, 11:24 AM
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BrenaSidhe
March 6th, 2004, 11:42 AM
---I threw hellish tantrums as a child, but ONLY when my parents were gone, or couldn't hear me,screaming, crying going straight into hysterical fits... If they were around, I'd calmly go to my room and scream into my pillow and beat my bed sencless till I passed out...
Learned early on to keep my fit throwing away from my parents, I hda been really good, but went with a friend and her mother for the weekend and saw how she got anything she wanted by whining, begging nonstop, then crying, then stomping and crying and being really loud in public..
got home from my visit and went to the store with my mother, I wanted something and she said NO, soI tried doing what my friend did...
OH HOLY SH*T was that the wrong thing to do, she swooped me up in the produce isle by one arm, and over her knee, the fly swatter she had in the cart was the 1st thing she saw to use... I had welts all over my legs and ass, then after that she grabbed my face and gropwled to NEVER pull that BS EVER AGAIN!!! and we went on with grocery shopping, any sob or whimper brought her pointing to that damn flyswater and shut me up FAST!!!
She thought she had really done something, really showed me that she wasn't going to take any crap from a snot nosed kid!!!
[whatever] I still threw fits, BIG ONES, broke stuff, and scratched myself up severly anywhere it wouldn't show for YEARS afterwards...

--- My eldest son was almost 9months old, every day nearing a certain time every day {with or without naps} he'd loop out...
He'd just get up and start yelling and throwing his toys, clearing anything and everything off tables all while screaming... ripped the curtain down once, all while in a shrill screaming state of near hysteria, I seriously wondered if he wasn't posesed by his insta-change from sweet good natured childe into hellspawn...
He would tear stuff up till he was to tired to go on, then just sit and scream bloody murder for up to 3hours at a shot, people thught I was beating him... Even my mother thought I must of been doing or not doing something to him, and took him for the weekend to give me a break... I told her it wasn't me, so go right on ahead, by monday she was begging for me to take him back!!!
After about a week of this, and no one knowing WTF was trigering him off, I took him to a specialist kiddy dr...
Supposedly this DOC knew exatly what was the matter, he said that it was a symptom of infants with low blood sugar... OK, never heard of that before but supposedly it was pretty common and they all acted like that... So I picked up the perscription witch was nothing but steril sugar water that I was to make his bottle with...
The guy said it takes a while for them to realise that their bodies arent needing anything, as during the fit throwing time they get into a habit of just screaming... To come back in 1-month if hiis behavior hadn't changed by them we'd try something else...
OMG's people, I thught it was bad before, it magnified by 10-fold, to the point of having to wear really high tech headphones blasting not to hear him for hours on end... The apartment building manager called child protection on me and the cops showed up with the social worker, I answered the door looking hagered with my headphones blasting pink floyd... Luckily I had a note from the dr saying the cause of my sons behavior and that it WAS a medical condition... but the social worker wanted right then and there to teach me how to console my son HAHAHAHAAA!!! NOT!!!
She made me go over and do HUG-Therepy with him, the fury that raged from that small muscle bound child was beyond imaginable... But under her orders I held him tight for an hour straight, him flipping out screaming, kicking, trying to wriggle loose, trying to bite, I was convinced that he had turned into satan... I finally told the social worker forget it!!! and she agreed... Then I had to show her his bedroom because she feared for his safety, all the flailing around and such...
My mom did apolstery work and had fully padded and apolstered the lower section of walls/doors/crib rails... The social worker didn't like the fact that there was a lock on the outside of his door, but after putting him in there and seeing him tear the open and trying to rip it off the hinges, she agreed for safteys sake it was for the best...
That poor womyn left looking and feeling like she'd been run over, said she'd do some research and if she came up with anything she'd get back to me... a few weeks latter the social worker called, and gave me another dr.s name, a second oppinion and supposedly a renound dr dealing with disturbed infants and children... With the use of her name we got in that afternoon not long before his usual fit throwing time... The dr looked him over, watched him and asked more questions of my mother and I than I thought really need be, but he was trying to rule out any neglect or early abuse issues... Then he said that he thought my son was hyper active, that it dosn't usually show so prominant in infants/toddleers, but after getting all the info and watching him it seemed his best bet... Then the fit went off as sceduled, he put him into the playroom to watch him, without that horrid sound it was actually interesting yet disturbing to see... He said that these kids usually just stop the fits on their own after about 6months to a year... To get him into bed or quiet space by himself before the fit starts, and check in about every 15 minuets to make sure he's ok, clean, and ok, then leave again... and for heavens sake don't give him sugar or that goop to make his bottles with... Low on the fried foods so on...
It took 3weeks of that drs advice and he was done with those hours long screeching fits...
I've yet to meet anyone else who's had this happen, but know it can...

---The other kids were very low on the fit throwing scale, thank goodness!!!

Raydreamer
March 6th, 2004, 12:54 PM
I don't have kids but this got me to thinking how i'd react if i did. I think i'd try very hard to never say to my children..."Because I say so" when they ask why they can't do something.
My mother used to do that and it drove me batty! I always thought "because i say so" was such a cop-out thing to say....but i was taking care of my friends children and they slept over and i was forced to say it because they were arguing.
I felt like such a donk!! :lol:
I apologised to them though and told them the real reason...but now i understand what might've made my mother say it. Poor woman!

Raydreamer
March 6th, 2004, 01:09 PM
Brenasidhe>>>
My nephew although nowhere near as bad as your baby, had such a screaming problem. My sister was beautiful with him though and man could that boy wail. I haven't seen him in five months so i don't know what he's like now.
But he would get soooooo angry when he was tired and scream for about and hour and a half and then suddenly........Zzzzzzzzzzz. This would happen about five times a day! He didn't want a hug, food, drink, to play, to sleep, to be around anyone, to be alone, to be outside, to be dressed, to be in the bath.....nothing satisfied him!
Like i said it was amazing to see my sister so patient with him and able to put with it for so long! Then one day, he was at it for about two hours, and we'd been through the rigmarole of soothing him to no avail, so we put him in his chair and went off to do our own thing, all the while he was screaming and screaming and stressing and struggling.
And then my sister came in, faced him with a glass of water and poured the whole thing over his head!! :lol: it was the funniest thing i ever saw!! He was so shocked he didn't know what to do! And then he was quiet for the rest of the afternoon!
Babies are so funny!

BrenaSidhe
March 7th, 2004, 07:14 AM
Brenasidhe>>>
But he would get soooooo angry when he was tired and scream for about and hour and a half and then suddenly........Zzzzzzzzzzz. This would happen about five times a day! He didn't want a hug, food, drink, to play, to sleep, to be around anyone, to be alone, to be outside, to be dressed, to be in the bath.....nothing satisfied him!
Like i said it was amazing to see my sister so patient with him and able to put with it for so long! Then one day, he was at it for about two hours, and we'd been through the rigmarole of soothing him to no avail, so we put him in his chair and went off to do our own thing, all the while he was screaming and screaming and stressing and struggling.
And then my sister came in, faced him with a glass of water and poured the whole thing over his head!! :lol: it was the funniest thing i ever saw!! He was so shocked he didn't know what to do! And then he was quiet for the rest of the afternoon!
Babies are so funny!
---Yea kids aer wild little beasties that for sure, my mom talked me into the glass of water over the head trick, oh mercy that was a very BAD idea!!! But I was despret and nearing packing my bags and running away from home...
I had an old lady at my grammas retirment home tell me that theres only one way to stop them fits! then as he ran by her she grabed him with one hand and slapped the other tightly over his mouth and nose...
Before I could get to her, he had already punched her glasses off and bit her hand up...
She pronounced he had the devil in-im and the only thing left was to stick-im with a pin in the bottom of his foot!!!
I got the hell away from that looney old bird, but was told my many old people to either stick him with pins, pinch him, bend his pinky finger over and squeeze it every time he screamed, and the biggest besides spanking him was to tie him to a chair and set him in the corner...
[like hell ya say!!! heheheeee, he might of been helasiouse to deal with for a while there, but NOT bad enough to warrent any of that BS]

Raydreamer
March 8th, 2004, 06:35 AM
Crazy people!
My sister says it's the worst when people try to tell her why her baby is upset! It drives her batty! Especially the people who've never even been around a baby much less had one.