Mairwen
May 26th, 2001, 04:01 PM
I'd forgotten I had these. Found them yesterday. Of course, I tried to go through and weed out anything potentially offensive, but this is a huge file! 8O
"Bother!" said Pooh, as a tagline tumbled out of his pocket.
"Bother!" said Pooh, as he deleted his entire message base.
"Don't quit your knight job!" Merlin shouted down at Lancelot.
"How to keep your conference on topic" - by Mod R. Ator
"I dropped my toothpaste," Tom said, crestfallen.
"I killed the Greek piper god," Tom deadpanned.
"Is that liquid nitrogen?" "Uh huh. Want some coffee?"
"Is the coffee strong enough?" <spoon dissolves> "It's just right..."
"Not one word." ... "And no pantamamime, either!"
"Pie Jesu Domine, Dona Eis Requiem." (WHACK!). Repeat as necessary.
"Swifties overly modify dialog exessively," said Tom adverbially.
"The crabgrass is in bloom and the cat had puppies." -Ä Frank Burns
"The ritual runes appeared in a single night..." -- Crop Circles
"This circle is you." "It's like you've known me all my life!"
"To cook well, learn all about spices", Tom said sagely.
"We're all human beans." Juan Valdez.
"What's so bad about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water."
#@$ffwe99fjaljk ... Hey! Get the cat off the keyboard!
'Tis a fine thing you do, seperatin' a leprechaun from his pot!
'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. -- Malaclypse
))))) TAKE A MINUTE TO THANK YOUR SYSOP (((((
* <- Tribble o <- Jean-Luc Tribble
* <- Tribble _ <- Tribble after unfortunate steamroller accident.
* <--< Moderator's Fatally Accurate Ninja Throwing Star
* An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.
* Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. -- James 1:19
* Heathens are Earthy people *
* When all else fails, blame the family pet.
** (Insert Whimsicle Tagline Here) **
*** Blessed be! ***
*- Ever feel like the Goddess is giggling?
*- Grab your rocks and let's get stoned!
*>> Peace, Love & Understanding <<*
*SIP* oops! ... mental note: must get coffee colored shirts.
- - <--Please place all moderating complaints between the two lines.
-- FOR SYSOP USE ONLY -- Do not write below this line.
-- For Moderator Use Only -- Do not write below this line.
--- ....Generic Tear Line v1.89
-<< I'm insanely creative! >>-
. . . because we who lurk are lying in wait to ambush you.
... *: *: *: *: My cat walks all over me :* :* :* :*
... ... "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..."
... A little nonsense now & then, is relished by the best of men.
... Cats have fur coats because they look silly in raincoats.
... Didn't I meet you in some other hallucination??
... Do you want your hugs with or without almonds?
... They say to beware of pronouns with indefinite antecedents...
... They torture flesh, but it's your mind that really hurts -- DBC
... You sane? Lemme fix that!
... of all the days to wear the undies with the pink bunnies ...
... passed through madness into chaos and kept going.
.........................oh, pardon me, I was having a blonde moment.
/// *** Party Skyclad *** \\\
1 race: human 1 world: Earth 1 chance: Love.
1024x768x256.... Sounds like one mean woman.
12 out of 13 Pagans agree on absolutely nothing!
13 witches in a hot-tub = a self-cleaning coven.
4 Food Groups: Coffee, Chocolate, Ice Cream, Coffee ...
4 of 5 Sysops prefer doughnuts; one prefers women...but she's strange.
9 out of 10 Pagans believe ... it's too hard to decide!
????? Intelligent life? In THIS echo? !!!!!
@>>--'--,-- A Rose Especially for You ...
A Buddist nudist practices yoga bare!
A Memory Manager is something I need more than my computer.
A balance of both the body and the spirit is necessary ...
A balanced perspective is the one most often attacked.
A blind man cannot walk among Shadows.
A cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air.
A cat is, above all things, a dramatist.
A cat would be man's best friend, but never stoops to it.
A cat's courage is as strong as the dog's chain.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clean, neat, desk is a sign of a sick mind.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A cult is any religion without political power.
A cynic smells the flowers and looks for the casket.
A day without BBS mail is a day with much more free time.
A day without passion is like a day without orange juice.
A family is a circle of people who love you.
A finger can point at the moon, but why point at the moon?
A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular.--Stevenson
A genius is somebody who was a crackpot until his ideas caught on.
A hundred stars do not equal the light of one moon.
A man's life, of any worth, is a continual allegory.
A mind stretched by new ideas can never go back to its original size.
A morning without coffee is like something without something else.
A person without a cat is like a tagline without a point.
A plain wooden dowel? No, a true Zen flute.
A poet can survive anything but a misprint. -- Oscar Wilde
A purring cat and a glowing fireplace makes winter bearable.
A red nose can be the result of sunshine or moonshine.
A ritual is the enactment of a myth. -- Joseph Campbell
A rose by any other name will still freeze in liquid nitrogen.
A self-addressed envelope would be addressed "envelope" ...
A strolling Clone gathers no floss ...
A tagline at this point would be irrelevant, right?
A very old and very wise man once said ... "HUH?"
A word to the wise is often enough to start an argument.
ABCD Puppies? LMNO Puppies. OSAR, CMP? OSIC.
ABCDEFGHIJKLMN PQRSTUVWXYZ - Hole in the "O" zone.
ARGH! Who put DECAF in my mug? <spit> <splutter>
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Admit nothing, deny everything, and initiate counter-accusations.
After a thousand years the darkness has come again ...
Age is only important if you're a cheese.
Air is water with holes in it.
All Beings are equally due compassion, love and respect.
All great ideas have been controversial, at one time.
All know the way ... Few actually walk it.
All the world's a stage, and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
All we are saying, is give Pizza Chants!!
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
Always know where your towel is.
Always listen to what experts say can't be done. Then do it.
An answer is a reply. But a reply isn't always an answer.
An attacker must vanquish. A defender need only survive.
An idea is a curious thing. It won't work unless you do.
And God said let there be light ... (clap on) ... And there was light.
And a great whirling and bashing of keys arose.
And keep your @Ý_! dirty words the %!$ outta here!!
And many MILES to go before I sleep.
And now we return you to your (ir)regular conference.
And so God said "E=/mv2+2P/r" and there was popcorn ...
And the Lord said, "Thou shalt not leave any hairs unsplit."
And with that cryptic comment I'm off to bed!!
And, pray tell, whose imagination are you a figment of?
Another car tried to occupy the same spacetime as mine.
Answering any messages voids any warrantee, expressed or implied.
Any religion that rejects coffee worships a false god.
Anything longer than one line is not a tagline, it's a philosophy!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth. -- JFK
Art is not to be looked at -- art is looking at us.
Artificial Intelligence: The other guy's opinion.
As Gandhi once said, "Holy Cow!"
As a child I was an imaginary playmate. Maybe I still am.
As cement poured on novelist's grave, the plot thickened.
As interesting as watching the cat shed ...
As the writer's tools, words are hopelessly inadequate.
Ask questions and question answers....
At Hydrogen 2 and Oxygen 1, game called because of rain.
At such times, the wise cat retires to meditate.
Avert misunderstanding by calm poise and balance.
BTW, FWIW, IMHO, yes ... OTOH, AAMOF, IOW, maybe not.
Bagpipe: Stuff cat under arm, pull legs and chew tail.
Bangs like a privy door when the plague's in town.
Be alert. The world needs more lerts.
Be patient with everyone, above all with yourself.
Be still as a mountain, move like a great river. -- Wu Yu-hsiang
Beach Wiccan: Would that be a Sand Witch?
Because the Tao favours no finite thing, it is infinite.-Tao te Ching
Before time was, there was The One; The One was all, all was The One.
Being with you, it's just one epiphany after another.
Believing in yourself is the beginning of wisdom.
Birth, life, death. Repeat as necessary.
Blood type? Why ... Maxwell House ... of course!!
Boogity, Boogity, Boo! This Witch Sees You!
Boy, there's nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Brilliant Ideas are often ridiculed because thay are different!
Bring me my purple soap box. I want to make a speech.
Bubble, bubble, toil & trouble ... Darn coffee maker!
Bubble, bubble, toil & trouble ... Goddess, I hate laundry ...
Burning changes nothing --- I'm Pagan this incarnation too.
But I KNOW that witches tits aren't THAT cold.
But what if I'm a figment of MY imagination?
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
C:\COFFEE.CUP missing -- Moderator Halted.
C:\COFFEE.CUP missing -- SysOp Halted.
C:\DOS\SYSTEM\UTILITIES\DOCS\HELP\WHERE\THE\HECK\AM\I ...
CAUTION! DO NOT PLACE FLOPPY DISK IN YOUR NOSE!
COFFEE AND DONUTS: Unitarian communion.
COOL! I've always wanted to live somewhere nonexsistant!
Cabbage and Mayo: a good idea and its slaw ...
Call 1-800-Astarte for all your in-home Goddess needs.
Can you look through my eyes? How do you know what I can/not see?
Cannot open CATFOOD.CAN -- Eat Logitech Mouse instead? (Y/n)
Careful, Pinky, somebody might mistake you for a rodeo clown -- Brain
Cat Physics #2: A cat will assume the shape of its container.
Cat game #10: Hide and go puke.
Cat: small, four-legged, fur-bearing alien here to observe humanity.
Catastrophe: an award for the cat with the nicest buns.
Catholic: Can't stop bringing home cats.
Cats are around to remind us why we need opposable thumbs.
Cats know how we feel. They don't really care, but they know.
Cats' favorite game: "Hah--made you look!"
Cats: Goddess's way to say your furniture is too nice.
Celebrate freedom -- read a banned book!
Center For Advanced Cat Juggling!
Ceud Mille Failte -- Gaelic: A hundred thousand welcomes.
Chance and chance alone has a message for us.
Click mousie ... Drag mousie ... KILL! KILL! KILL!
Coffee -- A legal drug addiction with free refills!
Coffee and cigarettes, the first two peripherals...
Coffee is *not* supposed to be a *solid*.
Committing spontaneous acts of Kindness and awe-inspiring Beauty ...
Compassion is meditation that leads to action. -- Sis.Mary Jose Hobday
Compromise: The art of finding a position nobody likes.
Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS
Concern for a friend's happiness will enhance your own.
Confucious say: Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Confuse People: Quote From The Wrong Message!
Counting one's blessings brings happiness.
Creativity is really the structuring of magic.
Cross between monster/drip-dry suit = wash & wear wolf.
Cry "Bother!" -=- and let slip the Four Poohs of the Apocalypse!
Curb your god -- it's the law.
Cure for dsylexia: read Hebrew and drive in England.
DANGER! Do not read this conference while drinking coffee.
DO NOT OPEN THIS MAIL PACKET! No user-servicable parts inside!!
DOS Error: Please remove cat from drive A: ...
Daffy Duck? He's sorta like the Egyptian God of Frustration.
Danger! **Attention Span Exceeded!**
Danger. Serious confusion has arisen.
Death: The absence of life, q.v. Life: The absence of death, q.v.
Definition of a pickle: A cucumber soured by a jarring experience.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullstuff before.
Detail -- De ting dat hangs on de back of de cat.
Devine -- De liquor you drink when de mampoer is finished.
Did I make myself clear? Good, now tell me what I said.
Did you hear about the tortise who was having a bad hare day?
Didja hear about the ruckus in the cemetery? It was a grave situation.
Discordians know without Order there's no pizza.
Diversity is God's way of amusing Herself.
Do misbehaving witches get sent to the broom closet?
Do not anger a Bard, for you are silly and would make a funny song.
Do not answer fools according to their folly. -- Proverbs 26:4
Do not ask "What is magick?" -- Ask "What is not magick?"
Do not disturb -- I'm disturbed enough already.
Do what comes naturally now. Throw a tantrum.
Do you have a pulse, or are you a junkyard of meat and wire?
Do you mind if I invoke privacy?
Does a Kitchen Witch use a Ginsu Athame?
Does a Western Union Witch deliver Pentagrams?
Does anyone have a spare healing potion handy?
Does this seem weird to anybody else?
Doesn't anyone in your neighborhood have real names?
Don't Let it Wilt Shall be the Rule of the Slaw -- Boojum
Don't just lurk there -- say something!
Don't keep us in suspense. Empt...err..Inquiring minds want to know.
Don't mind me; I'm singing rock and roll to the serious fishes.
Don't talk to me until I've had my second pot of coffee!
Don't try this at home ... We are PROFESSIONAL idiots.
Don't use blood in your incantations -- you'll get hemogoblins.
Dragon to knight: "Leaving so soon? It's almost lunchtime"
Dragons are great pets! Just put down LOTS of newspaper.
Dreadful. Truly dreadful. But you love it, don't you?
Druidic taglines are Hermitically sealed ...
Druids do it in the bushes.
Druids do it in the woad.
Due to intense mind fog, all thoughts have been grounded.
D‚j… Brew: The feeling that you've had this coffee before.
Eany Meany Jelly Beany ... The Spirit's are about to speak.
Eat your enemies; take their power! My enemies are Oreos ...
Echo: Only thing that cheats some out of the last word.
Edgar Zucchini Poe: "Quoth the Zucchini, nevermore."
Eris loves me, this I know. Principia tells me so!
Error running WAKEUP.BAT: COFFEE.INI not found.
Even the wisest mind has something yet to learn.
Ever notice how ours is the only planet named after dirt?
Ever stop to think ... and forget to start again?
Ever try Double Dutch jump roping with a dragon's tail?
Every dog has his day--but the nights are reserved for the cats.
Every flower that blooms goes through a lot of dirt to get there.
Every journey is best measured by those you've touched.
Every possibility exists somewhere as a Shadow of the real.
Everyone is weird. Some of us are proud of it!
Everything I know, I learned from coffee.
Everything here is right, but it could go wrong.
Everything in this book may be wrong ...
Everything is what I want, breathing is what I get.
Everything must Change! ... Stagnation is Death! -- Lao Tzu
Everything starts as someone's daydream.
Evil mind? No, but my GOOD seems to be leakin!
Excuse me ... Could you direct me back to my universe?
Excuse me, do you mind if I squish in here?
Exotic Psychic caught in fire: Rare medium well-done.
Experiencing synaptical difficulties. Please stand by.
Eye of newt. Toe of frog. And a side of fries, please.
Failure is never fatal and success is never final.
Fall, when trees change from Beatles to Yul Brynners.
Faster than a speeding oak tree .... !!!
Fear not to walk in the shadows for you'll emerge in the light!
Feeling bored? Clean and polish your belly button.
Fjords give a lovely baroque feel to a continent.
Flow Chart: A graphic of the fastest route to the coffee machine.
Flowers leave part of their fragrance in the hands that bestow them.
Fnord has a better idea. Have you driven a Fnord lately?
Fold and tear here. Tape closed before mailing. ----
Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. <Emerson>
For a nun ... buying clothes may be habit-forming.
For it is the doom of men that they forget. -- Merlin
For my darkness is taken to a very high platform.
Found myself today: I was in the broom closet -- Ziggy
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Friends ... Those who come in when the world has gone out.
From life: I got experience. From my mom: Insanity.
From the Department of Redundancy Department.
From the ashes of disaster spring the roses of success.
Fully compatable with everything, past, present, or future.
Further, higher, faster, onward, upward ...
GROWL the SNORT GRUMBLE possessed GRRRRRR bbs ROOAARRR!
Gee ... I don't know. Do I? Maybe. Nah! ... Then again ...??
Gender Identity is an attribute ... Not an appendage!
Genius is the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple.
Geography is just physics slowed down, with a few trees stuck in it.
Get me a pot of coffee and ask me again in an hour.
Get the chickens inside, mama, it's rainin' Witches!
Get thee behind me, Raven Momma!
Get thee down. Be thou funky.
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
Gimme some chocolate and no one gets hurt!
Gimme some coffee and no one gets hurt!
Gnarled Oak of God ... In Thy Branches the Lightning Nests.
Go Away! I've stopped imagining you!!
God made the cat so that we, for a moment, might caress the tiger.
Goddess said "Let there be cats," and was promptly ignored.
Gone crazy. Back later. Please leave message.
Gotta go. The lab called: my brain is ready.
Grammarians never die -- they fall into a comma.
Ground water? Do you mean crushed ice?
Gwyddon pies -- made with perfect love and perfect crust.
Halleluja! Put your HANDS on the MODEM!
Happy to meet, sorry to part, Happy to meet again...
Hard-learned lessons are remembered longest.
Has anybody _ever_ found Waldo?
Hasten to laugh at everything, or later you may weep.
Hatred stirs up disputes, but love covers all offenses -- Pv 10:12
Have a great day in spite of everyone!
Have my priestess call your priestess ... we'll do circle ...
Have you ever noticed that cats are left-handed?
Have you seen my mind? It wandered again. <*sigh*>
Having trouble meditating ... Moving to Transylvania.
Haydn wrote 104 symphonies. They never wrote back.
He dreamed he was a muffler -- he awakened exhausted.
He who hasn't carried your burden doesn't know what it weighs.
He who is not busy being born, is busy dying.
He who knows does not speak; He who speaks does not know. - Tao Teh Ch
He who worships Divine Duck will soon sing swan song.
Hello, I'm your evil influence for the evening.
Hello, is this the party to whom I am speaking?
Help! I'm trapped in a town without a coffee shop!!
Help! Is there a Pagan in the house? My Lugh-nut is loose!
Here's just a thought: no good reason, I just thought of it.
Here's to the Sun God, Sure is a fun God, Ra! Ra! Ra!
Hex Dump -- Where Witches put used Curses ...
Hey Mr. Crowley Man, Tally Me Qaballah!
Hey, who the heck ordered this Monolith?
Hmmm ... Run that potion through the Spell Checker, Igor.
Home is behind, the world ahead, and there are many paths to tread.
How can you write if you cannot cry? -- Ring Lardner
How do I feel? I put Kevorkian's # on my speed dialer! :>
How does it change many dyslexics to take a bulb light?
How many witches it takes to change a lightbulb? Depends -- into what?
How much wood did Peter Piper pick ... No wait ...
Hugs: One size fits all, and they're easy to exchange.
I FERGOT TO REMEMBER TO FERGIT!
I Run on Lunar Power! :)
I am a part of the Lord and the Lady, so I am never apart from them.
I am the Viper. I come to Vipe the Vindows.
I am the weirdo who sits next to you on the bus.
I can handle any crisis ... I have children.
I can't even _FIND_ amok, let alone run one.
I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my behind.
I don't want anything better. I want coffee.
I eat my coffee straight from the can. Why dilute it?
I feel fuzzier than a basket full of kittens!
I follow the Law of Trees: Don't run into them, it hurts.
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I have a fuzzy logic circuit. I dropped it on the carpet.
I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
I have erased the thin line between genius and insanity ...
I hoping your as confusedly as I am about these things.
I keep pressing the ESC button ... but I'm still here!
I kill every third idiot, and the second one just left ...
I like beating my head against a wall. It feels so good when I stop.
I like my coffee *strong*, not lethal! -- Col. Potter
I like my coffee black ... as a moonless night.
I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
I live so far out of town, my zip code is EIEIO.
I lost a button hole today. ...
I lurk quietly and carry a big OFF/ON switch.
I make my own reality. HEY! ... how did you get in here?
I may be Schitzo, but I still have each other.
I meant to eat a piece of fruit today, but I plum forgot ...
I must be brief; I'm going to explode soon. ...
I must stop here ... my fingers are hoarse.
I need a drink. Water, straight up.
I saw Eternity the other night like a ring of pure and endless light.
I think, therefore I expect to be arrested any day now.
I told Juan Valdez to get his ass out of MY pantry!
I took a Bard for a lover and things just went from bed to verse.
I tried to draw a picture of my shadow but it kept moving.
I used ta be a-feared of Witches. Now I are one.
I used to live in the real world, but I got evicted.
I used to think I was indecisive ... but now I am not sure.
I vant to turn your pancakes - Count Spatula
I wanted to be an irresponsible nonentity and just enjoy myself.
I was sane once. Didn't particularly care for the experience.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
I will not be brought under the power of any. -- 1 Cor 6:12
I wonder what comment I get with this tagline ... ????
I'M HEAVILY ARMED, HAVE PMS, AM EASILY BORED, AND OFF MY MEDICATION!
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
I'd like to help you out --- which way you come in?
I'd say that crossed the line from ironic coincidence to evil omen.
I'll have two brains on drugs and an orange juice please.
I'm a coffee slut. :)
I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing. :>
I'm down so far that I'm at the bottom of a mud puddle looking up ...
I'm feeling argumentative. Please contradict me!
I'm in a phone booth at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
I'm in search of myself. Have you seen me anywhere?
I'm in the mood for a little vivisection!
I'm just moving clouds today; tomorrow I'll try mountains.
I'm just very selective about the reality I accept.
I'm much too young to feel this damned old.
I'm nOT CRAzy! i'M juSt a litTLE LiGHt HEADeD.
I'm not Schizophrenic! Yes I am! No I'm Not! Who are you?
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing!
I'm not a novelist, but I play one in this conference ...
I'm not creating a disturbance, I'm improving the old one.
I'm not insane! ... ... I'm mentally divergent! ...
I'm not posting off topic, I'm expanding the conversation! ...
I'm not unpublished -- I'm publishingly-challenged.
I'm short and witty, does that mean I could be a Tagline?
I'm trying to find myself. Anyone seen me lately?
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I've been sane. I am, at present, exploring my other aspects.
I've seen better conversations in alphabet soup!
IF'N SHE AIN'T DONE POISIONED YOU, SHE LIKES YOU.
IMHO, sometimes the best magick wand is a 2x4, well swung.
Ididntdoitmoderatordidntseemedoitmoderatorcantproveididit.
If Dracula married the Quantam Leap dude he'd be Dracula Bakula ...
If E=MC^2, why is there always room for Jello?
If I only had one more teragigadactylbyte ...
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
If Stone(Rotation) > 0 Then Moss(Propogation) = 0
If a felon is one who commits a felony, Goddess is an iron.
If a light is on in an empty room, is anyone illuminated?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If a parsley farmer is sued, could they garnish his wages?
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock?
If an atheist Zen Druid can't hug the tree, is it there?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
If it ain't broke yet, let me have a shot at it.
If it screams, it's best not to eat it.
If it walks out of the refrigerator, LET IT GO!!!!!!
If it's not cruel and unusual, it's not punishment.
If not for procrastination, I wouldn't have anything to do tomorrow.
If there is no God/dess, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there were only one God, She'd have an ulcer by now.
If this conference is inappropriate, please notify me.
If you can't elucidate, eschew obfuscatory interlocutions!
If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll laugh at you instead.
If you cannot baffle them with it ... throw it at em!
If you didn't have a neck, you'd probably leave your head somewhere.
If you focus on thorns, you'll miss the beauty of the rose.
If you think I have an attitude, you should meet my cat!
If you wanna touch the sky, better learn how to kneel!
If you're feeling froggy -- Then Jump!
If you're trying to drive me crazy, you're too late!
Ignorance: not knowing Stupidity: being comfortable being ignorant.
Ignotum per ignotius [The meaning of this is unknown]
Imagination -- Inspiration for a resourceful Mind.
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality!
Immoral Majority Charter Member.
In a VERY weak moment, I became a conference Moderator ...
Individualists UNITE!
Innuendo: Where your cat sits to look outside at the birds.
Insanity is fun if you do it right.
Instant Shaman ... Add water and beat to a drum.
Is a barber who works in a Library called a Barbarian?
Is doublemint chewing gum the result of a cloning expearmint?
Is there a spell called "Summon Pizza Elemental"?
It hasss the Tagline, me Preciousss. We wantsss it, we do ...
It is easier to curse the darkness than to light a candle.
It looks like an optical illusion, but it isn't.
It must have rained little pink kittens that day. -- bh
It was like the time I stapled bologna to my face ...
It works! Now, if only I could remember what I did.
It's ALWAYS dark if you never open your eyes!
It's always darkest just before you step on the cat.
It's hard to explore oceans without losing sight of land.
It's his more holistic than thou attitude that bugs me.
It's what you learn *AFTER* you know it all that counts!
It's wonderful when we can mutually inspire each other, isn't it?
James Dean! Ben Voreen! Shrink to the size of a lima bean!
Je voudrais etre comme le vent. Partout chantant.
Jesus Saves. Morgana has a checking account.
Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep.
Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.
Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here.
Just the usual "cocoa butter and fluffy things" ritual.
Just think of all the things we haven't thought of yet.
Keep in mind that I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Keep your sense of humor. Life is a unscrupulous practical joker.
Knowledge can cure ignorance, but intelligence cannot cure stupidity.
L'audace, la plus l'audace, et toujours l'audace!
Laws should be like clothes - made to fit the people they're to serve.
Lead me not into ... ah what the hell ... BRING IT ON!!!
Learning disorders? Never had to. Disorder comes naturally to me.
Learning is finding out what you already know.
Lesson #14 -- Never challenge your god to a duel.
Lesson #20 -- It is unwise to meddle in the affairs of wizards.
Lesson #25 -- Never use a lightning bolt in a small room.
Lessons are repeated until they are learned.
Let us celebrate with the adding of chocolate to milk.
Life just dished up some spam!
Life's full of mysteries. Consider this one of them.
Life: Interlude between nothingness & immortality.
Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow.
Little things affect little minds. -- Benjamin Disraeli
Look beyond the illusion for what is really there ...
Look upon my works, oh, Ye Mighty, and giggle.
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. -- Henry Fielding
Love is the distance between reality and pain.
Loving speech is born from understanding and patience.
MODEM?! I've been calling this BBS with a Tarot deck.
Magic is a foot in the door of Time.
Make the Goddess laugh. Tell her your plans for today.
Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a danish!
Many people own cats and go on to lead normal lives.
May cat's not my familiar ..... she's more my peculiar!
May you find cockroach eggs in your tea bags.
May you walk with a wildflower rainbow ...
Maybe I AM crazy -- but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. ...
Maybe I'll try pacing fro and to for a while.
Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
Mighty Panther, King of the Jungle. Arf! Arf!
Misquote!! 10 yard penalty, loss of down! <<Fweeeet!>>
Missed it by | | <-- That much!
Moderation on this conference subcontracted to Chtulhu, Inc.
Moderator, Illuminati Surveillance Targets' Support Conference.
Moderators are not God. God has mercy.
Mom introduced me to a fairy princess, so I asked him .......
Monday special: two valiums with a coffee chaser.
Moving along at subsolid speeds ...
My Moderate Moderator Mostly Muddled My Magnificent Messages.
My cat dislikes the term "pet." She prefers "friend and confidant."
My cat is getting in touch with his inner kitten.
My family tree has got me stumped!
My family's coat-of-arms ties in the back.
My first real scrap of knowledge: I'm ignorant of many things.
My inner child is a juvenille delinquant.
My mind is having an out-of-body experience. Please Stand By!
My mind is not for rent to any God or government.
My religion is about God and me, not about God and you.
NEW!! Pagan Skipper! Initiate her yourself!
Network management is like trying to herd cats.
Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. -- Jung
Never anger a Moderator, for you are crunchy and go well with brie.
Never anger a SysOp, for you are crunchy and go well with brie.
Never ask a hungry cat if it loves you for yourself.
Never offend a Bard. Fighters kill ya once; Bards slander ya forever!
Never put a spiteful cat in a clean house with healthy plants.
Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame thrower.
New! Pagan Barbie ... environmentalist ... sold skyclad.
Newton had a bad trip, and now there's calculus.
No animals were harmed in the making of this message.
No bond is tighter nor allows (more) freedom than respect.
No cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer.
No man is an island, but I've met some peninsulas.
No more cukes! Give peas a chance!
No one beneath you can offend you ... No one your equal would.
No rest for the Wicca-ed!
No, no, Chocolate goes in the North. Massage oil goes in the West!
No, not a mystic with a lisp! --- I said MYTHtic!
Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble.
Non Denominational: A God who doesn't Require Cash Donations!
None are so empty as those who are full of themselves.
Not with a bang or a whimper, but with a rejection slip.
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Nothing is so smiple that I can't screw it up.
Nothing is so strong as gentleness,nothing so gentle as real strength.
Nothing is wrong with you that reincarnation can't cure.
Nothing like a purring cat rubbing your face to cure depression.
Nothing moves faster than light ... except a cat hearing FOOD!
Now ... Would _I_ do _that_?!?
Now only if I can do it ¬ as much as I think about it.
Now that I've given up hope I feel much better ...
Now, what was that magic word? Shazam? <WHAM!> Nah.
NyQuil: guzzling staggering whyamIonthekitchenfloor medicine ...
Obey thy God, I AM that I AM! Thou shalt not eat Green Eggs and Ham!
Odin loves the little Vikings, all the Vikings of the world!!
Oh dear, there goes that reincarnation ...
Oh my ... I'll be arrested for sure.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
On a dirt road at the end of the Information Highway ...
Once upon a time there were three coffee pots and a garden hose.
Once you've bitten the core, you'll always know the flavor.
One Tequila, two Tequila, three Tequila, Floor.
One beautiful tagline! (hahaha!) Two beautiful taglines! (hahaha!)
One should know the details of whatever it is one opposes.
Onion ring to rule them all, onion ring to bind them.
Only those who attempt the absurd achieve the impossible.
Operator! Trace this call and tell me where I am, Please!!
Order of the Screaming Electron
Our myths form our realities.
Out of space, here!! Must be time to get off my soap-box!
Over the river and through the woods? GIVE ME THAT MAP!
PAGANS Are NOT Evil, Just Different!
PHENOMINAL COSMIC POWERS!! --- itty-bitty tagline space.
PKunZIP V56.7 FAST! Exploding Universe->>CRC-error!
PAGANS Are NOT Evil, Just Different!
PHENOMINAL COSMIC POWERS!! --- itty-bitty tagline space.
PKUNZIP finished ... PKBLOWJOB now commencing.
PKunZIP V56.7 FAST! Exploding Universe->>CRC-_ error!
PUSH THIS BUTTON AND STAND WAY BACK!!!!!!!!
Pagan Barbie! (wand, athame, incense, pentacle, sold seperatly)
Pagans do it in Circles!
Pagans do it in the Woad.
Paint me blue and call me a Woad Warrior!
Part Abbysinian and part Oops! my cat got out!
Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
Persephone: Greek goddess of bills.
Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic ...
Pity a donkey with a IQ of 138. Nobody likes a smart ass.
Please Tell Me if You Don't Get This Message !!
Please do not feed or tease the free thinkers. They bite.
Please don't squeeze the Shaman !!!
Please don't thump the Book of Shadows. It's disrespectful.
Please relocate to your theology's place of eternal punishment!
Plot a course. There's coffee in that nebula!
Police seize sex computer, but are unsure of it's gender.
Police toilets stolen! Officers have nothing to go on!
Posted by one whose mind isn't twisted, but sprained.
Private Joke Center of the known universe.
Protestants are formal heretics. Pagans wear blue jeans.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Purrpetual: Everlasting love for all felines.
QKW! It's raining! PAK all the animals into the ARC!
QWK, QWK, QWK, QWK, QWK: the mating call of the mail duck ...
Quire the inquiry, sert the insertable ...
ROTFL: Rave on, tofu-flinging leeches.
Redneck Internet Address: hang.a.left@third.dirt.road
Roses are red; violets are blue; I am schizophrenic, and so am I!
SHOCK HAZARD! Some messeges in this packet may shock you!!
Sane? If I was sane why would I be here?
Sanity Is A State Of Mind And I Moved Out Of State.
Sanity is no benefit in an insane society!
Sanity is relative ... but not one of mine!
Sanity? If you intend to continue talking to me...kiss yours GOOD-BYE!
Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
Scalp 'em, Tantric! Hi-Ho, Electric Broom, AWAY !!!
Schizophrenic threatens suicide! FBI declares hostage situation!
Science asks How?, Philosophy ask Why?, And cats just don't care.
Seed catalog: kernal journal
Sesame Street Wicca has been brought to you today by Blessed B.
Shamans do it to the rythmn of the Earth!
She said "Have a nice day", but I had other plans .....
Sheila's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
Shell to DOS ... Come in, DOS! ... Do you read? ... Over.
Shocked actors: cast aghast
Show me a sane man and I'll cure him for you.
Shut up Brain or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip! <<Pinky>>
Since when is similarity required for the exercise of compassion?
Sleep warm, love well and carry a big stick.
So a macrowave would make things cold then, right?
Someday you will look back on this moment and plow into a parked car
Someone's gotta tell this volcano god we're out of blonde virgins.
Sometimes, if you wait, he'll top himself.
Southern Pagans do Rity'alls.
Spirit's breakfast: ghost toasties & evaporated milk.
Stand back everyone! ... He *has* a spatula!! ...
Start believing or the cat gets it with the water pistol!
T'was Brillo and the Tastee loaves did Procter and Gamble in the Glade
TO DO: 1. Save the world. 2. Remember to floss.
Tell me ma'am, have you confused your cat recently?
That cat's something I can't explain.
That dragon's a wuss ... a wimp ... behind me, isn't she?
That was Zen; this is Tao.
That which has no substance enters where there is no space.
That's stronger than a garlic milkshake !!
The Earth is 98% full. Please .ZIP yourself ...
The Goddess loves you -- but not before She's had Her coffee.
The Goddess loves you, but Her coffee comes first!
The Norsemen never wrote home,and when Odin found out,they were Rune.
The Toe that can be stubbed is not the true Toe.
The dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.
The last thing you say to a P.O'ed Witch: Ribbet!
The most difficult thing to open is a closed mind!
The shortest distance betwen two puns is a straight line ...
The trouble with living sacrifices is they keep crawling off ...
The words of the prophets are written in the tagline files ...
Thecontentsofthismessagearesubjecttosettleduringshipment.
Then the electric cat touched his nose to the keyboard ...
There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head.
There is a tiny plant here murmuring, "water, water".
There is always a law against doing anything interesting.
There is no Goddess but Eris, and Murphy is her consort!
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
There is no such thing as "Best" in a world of individuals.
There's a nut loose on my keyboard ... I've been told it's me.
There's one in every crowd. I'm assigned to this one. ...
These guys are as subtle as a brick through a glass window!
Think you're confused now? Wait'll I explain it.
This Place Is Creepy And It's Somber Too
This coffee tastes like mud! It was ground this morning.
This is another fine myth you've gotten me into.
This message transmitted on 100% recycled photons.
Time heals all wounds, but the belly button remains.
To discover proper respect for authority, ask any cat.
To hide a feeling is to increase its force a thousand times.
Toad (def'n): It is what happens to an illegally parked frog.
Today I am feeling ept, ane, and sipid.
Tried to digitize my BoS: didn't make it past the spell checker!
Truly stupid wizards have the life expectancy of a glass hammer.
Try Sanity Lite --- Half the marbles of normal Sanity!
Tuesday is Human Sacrifice Day at the Sizzler.
Twisted mind? No, just bent in several strategic places
URA Pagan Redneck If: Your altar-cloth is a Rebel flag ...
URA Pagan Redneck If: Your ritual wine comes from a still.
URA Pagan Redneck if: "Damn Straight!" replaces "Blessed Be".
URA Pagan Redneck if: Pisces makes you think of bass fishing.
URA Pagan Redneck if: You think John Deer is the Lord of the Harvest.
URA Pagan Redneck if: Your Wand of Power is a cattle prod.
URA Pagan Redneck if: Your ritual wine is Maddog 20/20.
URA Pagan Redneck if: Your west quarter is the out-house.
Unable to locate Coffee.Com -- Programmer halted!
Unstable? Me? I prefer the term "mentally double-jointed".
Vinegar in yer ears? Ya got pickled hearing!
WARNING! DO NOT PLACE LIVE LOBSTERS IN MICROWAVE!
WARNING! I am carrying a concealed broadsword.
WARNING! Religious solicitors will be hideously martyred.
WARNING: I Operate On A Few Fries Short Of A Happy Meal.
WOW, that coffee's strong <<WHACK>> and mean too!
Warning! Area protected by Highly Trained Attack Moderator!
Warning! Incomprehensible action is about to occur.
Warning: Moderator is a horse gelder by trade and needs practice.
We had a quicksand box. I was an only child. Eventually.
We interrupt this program to annoy you and generally irritate you.
We percieve and are affected by changes to subtle to be described.
We're not acting. We're all really like this.
Wear your lunatic fringe membership badger proudly!
Well. This way lies galloping melancholia.
What a dandy day for putting slinkies on an escalator!
What color is a chameleon in a mirror?
What do Wiccans make at summer camp? ... WITCH CRAFTS!
What do you mean this broomstick has no brake?!?!?!?!?!
What is fear of the force? ... Obiewancanobieaphobia.
What!?!?! ... No Coffee!?!? ..... That's a sin!! ......
When it comes to thought some people stop at nothing.
Where does a blackbird go for a drink? -- To a crow bar ;)
Why am I smiling? Oh, just the random lascivious thought.
Witches use brooms cause nature abhors a vaccuum.
Witlag: The delay between speaking and comprehension of thought.
Woozers!! The damned thing actually works!!
Word your reply carefully: don't blow my cover.
Would it save time if I gave up & went mad now?
Would that reason were as contagious as emotion.
Wreck the malls with cows on Harleys ... fa lala la la ...
Writing a story is like wrestling an octopus.
You are here ---------------------> *
You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can not make them think.
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit.
You got problems if your familiar is a green marmoset named Bubba.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You shall know the truth, and it shall make you odd.
You think I'm crazy NOW? Just wait until the seditives wear off!!!
You will spend the rest of your life in the future.
You're more trouble than a toilet full of snakes.
Zen Druids practice Transcendental Vegetation.
[ This quote intentionally left blank ] .
[] <-- Put all complaints in this box.
^^^^^^^^^(you're supposed to read up there)
dap da-doo dat ... biddelooo dodah daywahahahahahah ...
greet the inevitable,bow to the absurd,suffer fools,but get on with it
Punalize -- To inflict a punalty on someone.
URA Redneck: If your family tree is Kudzu ...
I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
Here's just a thought: no good reason, I just thought of it.
I locked my coathanger in my car; good thing I had a key.
The bread and the salt from all paths taste the same.
When you're not looking at it, this sentence is in French!
I know why cats shed, that's easy, because their hair falls out.
Zebras have stripes so they can tell themselves apart from horses.
"Bother!" said Pooh, as a tagline tumbled out of his pocket.
"Bother!" said Pooh, as he deleted his entire message base.
"Don't quit your knight job!" Merlin shouted down at Lancelot.
"How to keep your conference on topic" - by Mod R. Ator
"I dropped my toothpaste," Tom said, crestfallen.
"I killed the Greek piper god," Tom deadpanned.
"Is that liquid nitrogen?" "Uh huh. Want some coffee?"
"Is the coffee strong enough?" <spoon dissolves> "It's just right..."
"Not one word." ... "And no pantamamime, either!"
"Pie Jesu Domine, Dona Eis Requiem." (WHACK!). Repeat as necessary.
"Swifties overly modify dialog exessively," said Tom adverbially.
"The crabgrass is in bloom and the cat had puppies." -Ä Frank Burns
"The ritual runes appeared in a single night..." -- Crop Circles
"This circle is you." "It's like you've known me all my life!"
"To cook well, learn all about spices", Tom said sagely.
"We're all human beans." Juan Valdez.
"What's so bad about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water."
#@$ffwe99fjaljk ... Hey! Get the cat off the keyboard!
'Tis a fine thing you do, seperatin' a leprechaun from his pot!
'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. -- Malaclypse
))))) TAKE A MINUTE TO THANK YOUR SYSOP (((((
* <- Tribble o <- Jean-Luc Tribble
* <- Tribble _ <- Tribble after unfortunate steamroller accident.
* <--< Moderator's Fatally Accurate Ninja Throwing Star
* An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.
* Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. -- James 1:19
* Heathens are Earthy people *
* When all else fails, blame the family pet.
** (Insert Whimsicle Tagline Here) **
*** Blessed be! ***
*- Ever feel like the Goddess is giggling?
*- Grab your rocks and let's get stoned!
*>> Peace, Love & Understanding <<*
*SIP* oops! ... mental note: must get coffee colored shirts.
- - <--Please place all moderating complaints between the two lines.
-- FOR SYSOP USE ONLY -- Do not write below this line.
-- For Moderator Use Only -- Do not write below this line.
--- ....Generic Tear Line v1.89
-<< I'm insanely creative! >>-
. . . because we who lurk are lying in wait to ambush you.
... *: *: *: *: My cat walks all over me :* :* :* :*
... ... "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..."
... A little nonsense now & then, is relished by the best of men.
... Cats have fur coats because they look silly in raincoats.
... Didn't I meet you in some other hallucination??
... Do you want your hugs with or without almonds?
... They say to beware of pronouns with indefinite antecedents...
... They torture flesh, but it's your mind that really hurts -- DBC
... You sane? Lemme fix that!
... of all the days to wear the undies with the pink bunnies ...
... passed through madness into chaos and kept going.
.........................oh, pardon me, I was having a blonde moment.
/// *** Party Skyclad *** \\\
1 race: human 1 world: Earth 1 chance: Love.
1024x768x256.... Sounds like one mean woman.
12 out of 13 Pagans agree on absolutely nothing!
13 witches in a hot-tub = a self-cleaning coven.
4 Food Groups: Coffee, Chocolate, Ice Cream, Coffee ...
4 of 5 Sysops prefer doughnuts; one prefers women...but she's strange.
9 out of 10 Pagans believe ... it's too hard to decide!
????? Intelligent life? In THIS echo? !!!!!
@>>--'--,-- A Rose Especially for You ...
A Buddist nudist practices yoga bare!
A Memory Manager is something I need more than my computer.
A balance of both the body and the spirit is necessary ...
A balanced perspective is the one most often attacked.
A blind man cannot walk among Shadows.
A cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air.
A cat is, above all things, a dramatist.
A cat would be man's best friend, but never stoops to it.
A cat's courage is as strong as the dog's chain.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clean, neat, desk is a sign of a sick mind.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A cult is any religion without political power.
A cynic smells the flowers and looks for the casket.
A day without BBS mail is a day with much more free time.
A day without passion is like a day without orange juice.
A family is a circle of people who love you.
A finger can point at the moon, but why point at the moon?
A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular.--Stevenson
A genius is somebody who was a crackpot until his ideas caught on.
A hundred stars do not equal the light of one moon.
A man's life, of any worth, is a continual allegory.
A mind stretched by new ideas can never go back to its original size.
A morning without coffee is like something without something else.
A person without a cat is like a tagline without a point.
A plain wooden dowel? No, a true Zen flute.
A poet can survive anything but a misprint. -- Oscar Wilde
A purring cat and a glowing fireplace makes winter bearable.
A red nose can be the result of sunshine or moonshine.
A ritual is the enactment of a myth. -- Joseph Campbell
A rose by any other name will still freeze in liquid nitrogen.
A self-addressed envelope would be addressed "envelope" ...
A strolling Clone gathers no floss ...
A tagline at this point would be irrelevant, right?
A very old and very wise man once said ... "HUH?"
A word to the wise is often enough to start an argument.
ABCD Puppies? LMNO Puppies. OSAR, CMP? OSIC.
ABCDEFGHIJKLMN PQRSTUVWXYZ - Hole in the "O" zone.
ARGH! Who put DECAF in my mug? <spit> <splutter>
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Admit nothing, deny everything, and initiate counter-accusations.
After a thousand years the darkness has come again ...
Age is only important if you're a cheese.
Air is water with holes in it.
All Beings are equally due compassion, love and respect.
All great ideas have been controversial, at one time.
All know the way ... Few actually walk it.
All the world's a stage, and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
All we are saying, is give Pizza Chants!!
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
Always know where your towel is.
Always listen to what experts say can't be done. Then do it.
An answer is a reply. But a reply isn't always an answer.
An attacker must vanquish. A defender need only survive.
An idea is a curious thing. It won't work unless you do.
And God said let there be light ... (clap on) ... And there was light.
And a great whirling and bashing of keys arose.
And keep your @Ý_! dirty words the %!$ outta here!!
And many MILES to go before I sleep.
And now we return you to your (ir)regular conference.
And so God said "E=/mv2+2P/r" and there was popcorn ...
And the Lord said, "Thou shalt not leave any hairs unsplit."
And with that cryptic comment I'm off to bed!!
And, pray tell, whose imagination are you a figment of?
Another car tried to occupy the same spacetime as mine.
Answering any messages voids any warrantee, expressed or implied.
Any religion that rejects coffee worships a false god.
Anything longer than one line is not a tagline, it's a philosophy!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth. -- JFK
Art is not to be looked at -- art is looking at us.
Artificial Intelligence: The other guy's opinion.
As Gandhi once said, "Holy Cow!"
As a child I was an imaginary playmate. Maybe I still am.
As cement poured on novelist's grave, the plot thickened.
As interesting as watching the cat shed ...
As the writer's tools, words are hopelessly inadequate.
Ask questions and question answers....
At Hydrogen 2 and Oxygen 1, game called because of rain.
At such times, the wise cat retires to meditate.
Avert misunderstanding by calm poise and balance.
BTW, FWIW, IMHO, yes ... OTOH, AAMOF, IOW, maybe not.
Bagpipe: Stuff cat under arm, pull legs and chew tail.
Bangs like a privy door when the plague's in town.
Be alert. The world needs more lerts.
Be patient with everyone, above all with yourself.
Be still as a mountain, move like a great river. -- Wu Yu-hsiang
Beach Wiccan: Would that be a Sand Witch?
Because the Tao favours no finite thing, it is infinite.-Tao te Ching
Before time was, there was The One; The One was all, all was The One.
Being with you, it's just one epiphany after another.
Believing in yourself is the beginning of wisdom.
Birth, life, death. Repeat as necessary.
Blood type? Why ... Maxwell House ... of course!!
Boogity, Boogity, Boo! This Witch Sees You!
Boy, there's nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Brilliant Ideas are often ridiculed because thay are different!
Bring me my purple soap box. I want to make a speech.
Bubble, bubble, toil & trouble ... Darn coffee maker!
Bubble, bubble, toil & trouble ... Goddess, I hate laundry ...
Burning changes nothing --- I'm Pagan this incarnation too.
But I KNOW that witches tits aren't THAT cold.
But what if I'm a figment of MY imagination?
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
C:\COFFEE.CUP missing -- Moderator Halted.
C:\COFFEE.CUP missing -- SysOp Halted.
C:\DOS\SYSTEM\UTILITIES\DOCS\HELP\WHERE\THE\HECK\AM\I ...
CAUTION! DO NOT PLACE FLOPPY DISK IN YOUR NOSE!
COFFEE AND DONUTS: Unitarian communion.
COOL! I've always wanted to live somewhere nonexsistant!
Cabbage and Mayo: a good idea and its slaw ...
Call 1-800-Astarte for all your in-home Goddess needs.
Can you look through my eyes? How do you know what I can/not see?
Cannot open CATFOOD.CAN -- Eat Logitech Mouse instead? (Y/n)
Careful, Pinky, somebody might mistake you for a rodeo clown -- Brain
Cat Physics #2: A cat will assume the shape of its container.
Cat game #10: Hide and go puke.
Cat: small, four-legged, fur-bearing alien here to observe humanity.
Catastrophe: an award for the cat with the nicest buns.
Catholic: Can't stop bringing home cats.
Cats are around to remind us why we need opposable thumbs.
Cats know how we feel. They don't really care, but they know.
Cats' favorite game: "Hah--made you look!"
Cats: Goddess's way to say your furniture is too nice.
Celebrate freedom -- read a banned book!
Center For Advanced Cat Juggling!
Ceud Mille Failte -- Gaelic: A hundred thousand welcomes.
Chance and chance alone has a message for us.
Click mousie ... Drag mousie ... KILL! KILL! KILL!
Coffee -- A legal drug addiction with free refills!
Coffee and cigarettes, the first two peripherals...
Coffee is *not* supposed to be a *solid*.
Committing spontaneous acts of Kindness and awe-inspiring Beauty ...
Compassion is meditation that leads to action. -- Sis.Mary Jose Hobday
Compromise: The art of finding a position nobody likes.
Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS
Concern for a friend's happiness will enhance your own.
Confucious say: Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Confuse People: Quote From The Wrong Message!
Counting one's blessings brings happiness.
Creativity is really the structuring of magic.
Cross between monster/drip-dry suit = wash & wear wolf.
Cry "Bother!" -=- and let slip the Four Poohs of the Apocalypse!
Curb your god -- it's the law.
Cure for dsylexia: read Hebrew and drive in England.
DANGER! Do not read this conference while drinking coffee.
DO NOT OPEN THIS MAIL PACKET! No user-servicable parts inside!!
DOS Error: Please remove cat from drive A: ...
Daffy Duck? He's sorta like the Egyptian God of Frustration.
Danger! **Attention Span Exceeded!**
Danger. Serious confusion has arisen.
Death: The absence of life, q.v. Life: The absence of death, q.v.
Definition of a pickle: A cucumber soured by a jarring experience.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullstuff before.
Detail -- De ting dat hangs on de back of de cat.
Devine -- De liquor you drink when de mampoer is finished.
Did I make myself clear? Good, now tell me what I said.
Did you hear about the tortise who was having a bad hare day?
Didja hear about the ruckus in the cemetery? It was a grave situation.
Discordians know without Order there's no pizza.
Diversity is God's way of amusing Herself.
Do misbehaving witches get sent to the broom closet?
Do not anger a Bard, for you are silly and would make a funny song.
Do not answer fools according to their folly. -- Proverbs 26:4
Do not ask "What is magick?" -- Ask "What is not magick?"
Do not disturb -- I'm disturbed enough already.
Do what comes naturally now. Throw a tantrum.
Do you have a pulse, or are you a junkyard of meat and wire?
Do you mind if I invoke privacy?
Does a Kitchen Witch use a Ginsu Athame?
Does a Western Union Witch deliver Pentagrams?
Does anyone have a spare healing potion handy?
Does this seem weird to anybody else?
Doesn't anyone in your neighborhood have real names?
Don't Let it Wilt Shall be the Rule of the Slaw -- Boojum
Don't just lurk there -- say something!
Don't keep us in suspense. Empt...err..Inquiring minds want to know.
Don't mind me; I'm singing rock and roll to the serious fishes.
Don't talk to me until I've had my second pot of coffee!
Don't try this at home ... We are PROFESSIONAL idiots.
Don't use blood in your incantations -- you'll get hemogoblins.
Dragon to knight: "Leaving so soon? It's almost lunchtime"
Dragons are great pets! Just put down LOTS of newspaper.
Dreadful. Truly dreadful. But you love it, don't you?
Druidic taglines are Hermitically sealed ...
Druids do it in the bushes.
Druids do it in the woad.
Due to intense mind fog, all thoughts have been grounded.
D‚j… Brew: The feeling that you've had this coffee before.
Eany Meany Jelly Beany ... The Spirit's are about to speak.
Eat your enemies; take their power! My enemies are Oreos ...
Echo: Only thing that cheats some out of the last word.
Edgar Zucchini Poe: "Quoth the Zucchini, nevermore."
Eris loves me, this I know. Principia tells me so!
Error running WAKEUP.BAT: COFFEE.INI not found.
Even the wisest mind has something yet to learn.
Ever notice how ours is the only planet named after dirt?
Ever stop to think ... and forget to start again?
Ever try Double Dutch jump roping with a dragon's tail?
Every dog has his day--but the nights are reserved for the cats.
Every flower that blooms goes through a lot of dirt to get there.
Every journey is best measured by those you've touched.
Every possibility exists somewhere as a Shadow of the real.
Everyone is weird. Some of us are proud of it!
Everything I know, I learned from coffee.
Everything here is right, but it could go wrong.
Everything in this book may be wrong ...
Everything is what I want, breathing is what I get.
Everything must Change! ... Stagnation is Death! -- Lao Tzu
Everything starts as someone's daydream.
Evil mind? No, but my GOOD seems to be leakin!
Excuse me ... Could you direct me back to my universe?
Excuse me, do you mind if I squish in here?
Exotic Psychic caught in fire: Rare medium well-done.
Experiencing synaptical difficulties. Please stand by.
Eye of newt. Toe of frog. And a side of fries, please.
Failure is never fatal and success is never final.
Fall, when trees change from Beatles to Yul Brynners.
Faster than a speeding oak tree .... !!!
Fear not to walk in the shadows for you'll emerge in the light!
Feeling bored? Clean and polish your belly button.
Fjords give a lovely baroque feel to a continent.
Flow Chart: A graphic of the fastest route to the coffee machine.
Flowers leave part of their fragrance in the hands that bestow them.
Fnord has a better idea. Have you driven a Fnord lately?
Fold and tear here. Tape closed before mailing. ----
Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. <Emerson>
For a nun ... buying clothes may be habit-forming.
For it is the doom of men that they forget. -- Merlin
For my darkness is taken to a very high platform.
Found myself today: I was in the broom closet -- Ziggy
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Friends ... Those who come in when the world has gone out.
From life: I got experience. From my mom: Insanity.
From the Department of Redundancy Department.
From the ashes of disaster spring the roses of success.
Fully compatable with everything, past, present, or future.
Further, higher, faster, onward, upward ...
GROWL the SNORT GRUMBLE possessed GRRRRRR bbs ROOAARRR!
Gee ... I don't know. Do I? Maybe. Nah! ... Then again ...??
Gender Identity is an attribute ... Not an appendage!
Genius is the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple.
Geography is just physics slowed down, with a few trees stuck in it.
Get me a pot of coffee and ask me again in an hour.
Get the chickens inside, mama, it's rainin' Witches!
Get thee behind me, Raven Momma!
Get thee down. Be thou funky.
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
Gimme some chocolate and no one gets hurt!
Gimme some coffee and no one gets hurt!
Gnarled Oak of God ... In Thy Branches the Lightning Nests.
Go Away! I've stopped imagining you!!
God made the cat so that we, for a moment, might caress the tiger.
Goddess said "Let there be cats," and was promptly ignored.
Gone crazy. Back later. Please leave message.
Gotta go. The lab called: my brain is ready.
Grammarians never die -- they fall into a comma.
Ground water? Do you mean crushed ice?
Gwyddon pies -- made with perfect love and perfect crust.
Halleluja! Put your HANDS on the MODEM!
Happy to meet, sorry to part, Happy to meet again...
Hard-learned lessons are remembered longest.
Has anybody _ever_ found Waldo?
Hasten to laugh at everything, or later you may weep.
Hatred stirs up disputes, but love covers all offenses -- Pv 10:12
Have a great day in spite of everyone!
Have my priestess call your priestess ... we'll do circle ...
Have you ever noticed that cats are left-handed?
Have you seen my mind? It wandered again. <*sigh*>
Having trouble meditating ... Moving to Transylvania.
Haydn wrote 104 symphonies. They never wrote back.
He dreamed he was a muffler -- he awakened exhausted.
He who hasn't carried your burden doesn't know what it weighs.
He who is not busy being born, is busy dying.
He who knows does not speak; He who speaks does not know. - Tao Teh Ch
He who worships Divine Duck will soon sing swan song.
Hello, I'm your evil influence for the evening.
Hello, is this the party to whom I am speaking?
Help! I'm trapped in a town without a coffee shop!!
Help! Is there a Pagan in the house? My Lugh-nut is loose!
Here's just a thought: no good reason, I just thought of it.
Here's to the Sun God, Sure is a fun God, Ra! Ra! Ra!
Hex Dump -- Where Witches put used Curses ...
Hey Mr. Crowley Man, Tally Me Qaballah!
Hey, who the heck ordered this Monolith?
Hmmm ... Run that potion through the Spell Checker, Igor.
Home is behind, the world ahead, and there are many paths to tread.
How can you write if you cannot cry? -- Ring Lardner
How do I feel? I put Kevorkian's # on my speed dialer! :>
How does it change many dyslexics to take a bulb light?
How many witches it takes to change a lightbulb? Depends -- into what?
How much wood did Peter Piper pick ... No wait ...
Hugs: One size fits all, and they're easy to exchange.
I FERGOT TO REMEMBER TO FERGIT!
I Run on Lunar Power! :)
I am a part of the Lord and the Lady, so I am never apart from them.
I am the Viper. I come to Vipe the Vindows.
I am the weirdo who sits next to you on the bus.
I can handle any crisis ... I have children.
I can't even _FIND_ amok, let alone run one.
I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my behind.
I don't want anything better. I want coffee.
I eat my coffee straight from the can. Why dilute it?
I feel fuzzier than a basket full of kittens!
I follow the Law of Trees: Don't run into them, it hurts.
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I have a fuzzy logic circuit. I dropped it on the carpet.
I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
I have erased the thin line between genius and insanity ...
I hoping your as confusedly as I am about these things.
I keep pressing the ESC button ... but I'm still here!
I kill every third idiot, and the second one just left ...
I like beating my head against a wall. It feels so good when I stop.
I like my coffee *strong*, not lethal! -- Col. Potter
I like my coffee black ... as a moonless night.
I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
I live so far out of town, my zip code is EIEIO.
I lost a button hole today. ...
I lurk quietly and carry a big OFF/ON switch.
I make my own reality. HEY! ... how did you get in here?
I may be Schitzo, but I still have each other.
I meant to eat a piece of fruit today, but I plum forgot ...
I must be brief; I'm going to explode soon. ...
I must stop here ... my fingers are hoarse.
I need a drink. Water, straight up.
I saw Eternity the other night like a ring of pure and endless light.
I think, therefore I expect to be arrested any day now.
I told Juan Valdez to get his ass out of MY pantry!
I took a Bard for a lover and things just went from bed to verse.
I tried to draw a picture of my shadow but it kept moving.
I used ta be a-feared of Witches. Now I are one.
I used to live in the real world, but I got evicted.
I used to think I was indecisive ... but now I am not sure.
I vant to turn your pancakes - Count Spatula
I wanted to be an irresponsible nonentity and just enjoy myself.
I was sane once. Didn't particularly care for the experience.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
I will not be brought under the power of any. -- 1 Cor 6:12
I wonder what comment I get with this tagline ... ????
I'M HEAVILY ARMED, HAVE PMS, AM EASILY BORED, AND OFF MY MEDICATION!
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
I'd like to help you out --- which way you come in?
I'd say that crossed the line from ironic coincidence to evil omen.
I'll have two brains on drugs and an orange juice please.
I'm a coffee slut. :)
I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing. :>
I'm down so far that I'm at the bottom of a mud puddle looking up ...
I'm feeling argumentative. Please contradict me!
I'm in a phone booth at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
I'm in search of myself. Have you seen me anywhere?
I'm in the mood for a little vivisection!
I'm just moving clouds today; tomorrow I'll try mountains.
I'm just very selective about the reality I accept.
I'm much too young to feel this damned old.
I'm nOT CRAzy! i'M juSt a litTLE LiGHt HEADeD.
I'm not Schizophrenic! Yes I am! No I'm Not! Who are you?
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing!
I'm not a novelist, but I play one in this conference ...
I'm not creating a disturbance, I'm improving the old one.
I'm not insane! ... ... I'm mentally divergent! ...
I'm not posting off topic, I'm expanding the conversation! ...
I'm not unpublished -- I'm publishingly-challenged.
I'm short and witty, does that mean I could be a Tagline?
I'm trying to find myself. Anyone seen me lately?
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I've been sane. I am, at present, exploring my other aspects.
I've seen better conversations in alphabet soup!
IF'N SHE AIN'T DONE POISIONED YOU, SHE LIKES YOU.
IMHO, sometimes the best magick wand is a 2x4, well swung.
Ididntdoitmoderatordidntseemedoitmoderatorcantproveididit.
If Dracula married the Quantam Leap dude he'd be Dracula Bakula ...
If E=MC^2, why is there always room for Jello?
If I only had one more teragigadactylbyte ...
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
If Stone(Rotation) > 0 Then Moss(Propogation) = 0
If a felon is one who commits a felony, Goddess is an iron.
If a light is on in an empty room, is anyone illuminated?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If a parsley farmer is sued, could they garnish his wages?
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock?
If an atheist Zen Druid can't hug the tree, is it there?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
If it ain't broke yet, let me have a shot at it.
If it screams, it's best not to eat it.
If it walks out of the refrigerator, LET IT GO!!!!!!
If it's not cruel and unusual, it's not punishment.
If not for procrastination, I wouldn't have anything to do tomorrow.
If there is no God/dess, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there were only one God, She'd have an ulcer by now.
If this conference is inappropriate, please notify me.
If you can't elucidate, eschew obfuscatory interlocutions!
If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll laugh at you instead.
If you cannot baffle them with it ... throw it at em!
If you didn't have a neck, you'd probably leave your head somewhere.
If you focus on thorns, you'll miss the beauty of the rose.
If you think I have an attitude, you should meet my cat!
If you wanna touch the sky, better learn how to kneel!
If you're feeling froggy -- Then Jump!
If you're trying to drive me crazy, you're too late!
Ignorance: not knowing Stupidity: being comfortable being ignorant.
Ignotum per ignotius [The meaning of this is unknown]
Imagination -- Inspiration for a resourceful Mind.
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality!
Immoral Majority Charter Member.
In a VERY weak moment, I became a conference Moderator ...
Individualists UNITE!
Innuendo: Where your cat sits to look outside at the birds.
Insanity is fun if you do it right.
Instant Shaman ... Add water and beat to a drum.
Is a barber who works in a Library called a Barbarian?
Is doublemint chewing gum the result of a cloning expearmint?
Is there a spell called "Summon Pizza Elemental"?
It hasss the Tagline, me Preciousss. We wantsss it, we do ...
It is easier to curse the darkness than to light a candle.
It looks like an optical illusion, but it isn't.
It must have rained little pink kittens that day. -- bh
It was like the time I stapled bologna to my face ...
It works! Now, if only I could remember what I did.
It's ALWAYS dark if you never open your eyes!
It's always darkest just before you step on the cat.
It's hard to explore oceans without losing sight of land.
It's his more holistic than thou attitude that bugs me.
It's what you learn *AFTER* you know it all that counts!
It's wonderful when we can mutually inspire each other, isn't it?
James Dean! Ben Voreen! Shrink to the size of a lima bean!
Je voudrais etre comme le vent. Partout chantant.
Jesus Saves. Morgana has a checking account.
Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep.
Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.
Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here.
Just the usual "cocoa butter and fluffy things" ritual.
Just think of all the things we haven't thought of yet.
Keep in mind that I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Keep your sense of humor. Life is a unscrupulous practical joker.
Knowledge can cure ignorance, but intelligence cannot cure stupidity.
L'audace, la plus l'audace, et toujours l'audace!
Laws should be like clothes - made to fit the people they're to serve.
Lead me not into ... ah what the hell ... BRING IT ON!!!
Learning disorders? Never had to. Disorder comes naturally to me.
Learning is finding out what you already know.
Lesson #14 -- Never challenge your god to a duel.
Lesson #20 -- It is unwise to meddle in the affairs of wizards.
Lesson #25 -- Never use a lightning bolt in a small room.
Lessons are repeated until they are learned.
Let us celebrate with the adding of chocolate to milk.
Life just dished up some spam!
Life's full of mysteries. Consider this one of them.
Life: Interlude between nothingness & immortality.
Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow.
Little things affect little minds. -- Benjamin Disraeli
Look beyond the illusion for what is really there ...
Look upon my works, oh, Ye Mighty, and giggle.
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. -- Henry Fielding
Love is the distance between reality and pain.
Loving speech is born from understanding and patience.
MODEM?! I've been calling this BBS with a Tarot deck.
Magic is a foot in the door of Time.
Make the Goddess laugh. Tell her your plans for today.
Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a danish!
Many people own cats and go on to lead normal lives.
May cat's not my familiar ..... she's more my peculiar!
May you find cockroach eggs in your tea bags.
May you walk with a wildflower rainbow ...
Maybe I AM crazy -- but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. ...
Maybe I'll try pacing fro and to for a while.
Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
Mighty Panther, King of the Jungle. Arf! Arf!
Misquote!! 10 yard penalty, loss of down! <<Fweeeet!>>
Missed it by | | <-- That much!
Moderation on this conference subcontracted to Chtulhu, Inc.
Moderator, Illuminati Surveillance Targets' Support Conference.
Moderators are not God. God has mercy.
Mom introduced me to a fairy princess, so I asked him .......
Monday special: two valiums with a coffee chaser.
Moving along at subsolid speeds ...
My Moderate Moderator Mostly Muddled My Magnificent Messages.
My cat dislikes the term "pet." She prefers "friend and confidant."
My cat is getting in touch with his inner kitten.
My family tree has got me stumped!
My family's coat-of-arms ties in the back.
My first real scrap of knowledge: I'm ignorant of many things.
My inner child is a juvenille delinquant.
My mind is having an out-of-body experience. Please Stand By!
My mind is not for rent to any God or government.
My religion is about God and me, not about God and you.
NEW!! Pagan Skipper! Initiate her yourself!
Network management is like trying to herd cats.
Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. -- Jung
Never anger a Moderator, for you are crunchy and go well with brie.
Never anger a SysOp, for you are crunchy and go well with brie.
Never ask a hungry cat if it loves you for yourself.
Never offend a Bard. Fighters kill ya once; Bards slander ya forever!
Never put a spiteful cat in a clean house with healthy plants.
Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame thrower.
New! Pagan Barbie ... environmentalist ... sold skyclad.
Newton had a bad trip, and now there's calculus.
No animals were harmed in the making of this message.
No bond is tighter nor allows (more) freedom than respect.
No cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer.
No man is an island, but I've met some peninsulas.
No more cukes! Give peas a chance!
No one beneath you can offend you ... No one your equal would.
No rest for the Wicca-ed!
No, no, Chocolate goes in the North. Massage oil goes in the West!
No, not a mystic with a lisp! --- I said MYTHtic!
Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble.
Non Denominational: A God who doesn't Require Cash Donations!
None are so empty as those who are full of themselves.
Not with a bang or a whimper, but with a rejection slip.
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Nothing is so smiple that I can't screw it up.
Nothing is so strong as gentleness,nothing so gentle as real strength.
Nothing is wrong with you that reincarnation can't cure.
Nothing like a purring cat rubbing your face to cure depression.
Nothing moves faster than light ... except a cat hearing FOOD!
Now ... Would _I_ do _that_?!?
Now only if I can do it ¬ as much as I think about it.
Now that I've given up hope I feel much better ...
Now, what was that magic word? Shazam? <WHAM!> Nah.
NyQuil: guzzling staggering whyamIonthekitchenfloor medicine ...
Obey thy God, I AM that I AM! Thou shalt not eat Green Eggs and Ham!
Odin loves the little Vikings, all the Vikings of the world!!
Oh dear, there goes that reincarnation ...
Oh my ... I'll be arrested for sure.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
On a dirt road at the end of the Information Highway ...
Once upon a time there were three coffee pots and a garden hose.
Once you've bitten the core, you'll always know the flavor.
One Tequila, two Tequila, three Tequila, Floor.
One beautiful tagline! (hahaha!) Two beautiful taglines! (hahaha!)
One should know the details of whatever it is one opposes.
Onion ring to rule them all, onion ring to bind them.
Only those who attempt the absurd achieve the impossible.
Operator! Trace this call and tell me where I am, Please!!
Order of the Screaming Electron
Our myths form our realities.
Out of space, here!! Must be time to get off my soap-box!
Over the river and through the woods? GIVE ME THAT MAP!
PAGANS Are NOT Evil, Just Different!
PHENOMINAL COSMIC POWERS!! --- itty-bitty tagline space.
PKunZIP V56.7 FAST! Exploding Universe->>CRC-error!
PAGANS Are NOT Evil, Just Different!
PHENOMINAL COSMIC POWERS!! --- itty-bitty tagline space.
PKUNZIP finished ... PKBLOWJOB now commencing.
PKunZIP V56.7 FAST! Exploding Universe->>CRC-_ error!
PUSH THIS BUTTON AND STAND WAY BACK!!!!!!!!
Pagan Barbie! (wand, athame, incense, pentacle, sold seperatly)
Pagans do it in Circles!
Pagans do it in the Woad.
Paint me blue and call me a Woad Warrior!
Part Abbysinian and part Oops! my cat got out!
Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
Persephone: Greek goddess of bills.
Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic ...
Pity a donkey with a IQ of 138. Nobody likes a smart ass.
Please Tell Me if You Don't Get This Message !!
Please do not feed or tease the free thinkers. They bite.
Please don't squeeze the Shaman !!!
Please don't thump the Book of Shadows. It's disrespectful.
Please relocate to your theology's place of eternal punishment!
Plot a course. There's coffee in that nebula!
Police seize sex computer, but are unsure of it's gender.
Police toilets stolen! Officers have nothing to go on!
Posted by one whose mind isn't twisted, but sprained.
Private Joke Center of the known universe.
Protestants are formal heretics. Pagans wear blue jeans.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Purrpetual: Everlasting love for all felines.
QKW! It's raining! PAK all the animals into the ARC!
QWK, QWK, QWK, QWK, QWK: the mating call of the mail duck ...
Quire the inquiry, sert the insertable ...
ROTFL: Rave on, tofu-flinging leeches.
Redneck Internet Address: hang.a.left@third.dirt.road
Roses are red; violets are blue; I am schizophrenic, and so am I!
SHOCK HAZARD! Some messeges in this packet may shock you!!
Sane? If I was sane why would I be here?
Sanity Is A State Of Mind And I Moved Out Of State.
Sanity is no benefit in an insane society!
Sanity is relative ... but not one of mine!
Sanity? If you intend to continue talking to me...kiss yours GOOD-BYE!
Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
Scalp 'em, Tantric! Hi-Ho, Electric Broom, AWAY !!!
Schizophrenic threatens suicide! FBI declares hostage situation!
Science asks How?, Philosophy ask Why?, And cats just don't care.
Seed catalog: kernal journal
Sesame Street Wicca has been brought to you today by Blessed B.
Shamans do it to the rythmn of the Earth!
She said "Have a nice day", but I had other plans .....
Sheila's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
Shell to DOS ... Come in, DOS! ... Do you read? ... Over.
Shocked actors: cast aghast
Show me a sane man and I'll cure him for you.
Shut up Brain or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip! <<Pinky>>
Since when is similarity required for the exercise of compassion?
Sleep warm, love well and carry a big stick.
So a macrowave would make things cold then, right?
Someday you will look back on this moment and plow into a parked car
Someone's gotta tell this volcano god we're out of blonde virgins.
Sometimes, if you wait, he'll top himself.
Southern Pagans do Rity'alls.
Spirit's breakfast: ghost toasties & evaporated milk.
Stand back everyone! ... He *has* a spatula!! ...
Start believing or the cat gets it with the water pistol!
T'was Brillo and the Tastee loaves did Procter and Gamble in the Glade
TO DO: 1. Save the world. 2. Remember to floss.
Tell me ma'am, have you confused your cat recently?
That cat's something I can't explain.
That dragon's a wuss ... a wimp ... behind me, isn't she?
That was Zen; this is Tao.
That which has no substance enters where there is no space.
That's stronger than a garlic milkshake !!
The Earth is 98% full. Please .ZIP yourself ...
The Goddess loves you -- but not before She's had Her coffee.
The Goddess loves you, but Her coffee comes first!
The Norsemen never wrote home,and when Odin found out,they were Rune.
The Toe that can be stubbed is not the true Toe.
The dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.
The last thing you say to a P.O'ed Witch: Ribbet!
The most difficult thing to open is a closed mind!
The shortest distance betwen two puns is a straight line ...
The trouble with living sacrifices is they keep crawling off ...
The words of the prophets are written in the tagline files ...
Thecontentsofthismessagearesubjecttosettleduringshipment.
Then the electric cat touched his nose to the keyboard ...
There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head.
There is a tiny plant here murmuring, "water, water".
There is always a law against doing anything interesting.
There is no Goddess but Eris, and Murphy is her consort!
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
There is no such thing as "Best" in a world of individuals.
There's a nut loose on my keyboard ... I've been told it's me.
There's one in every crowd. I'm assigned to this one. ...
These guys are as subtle as a brick through a glass window!
Think you're confused now? Wait'll I explain it.
This Place Is Creepy And It's Somber Too
This coffee tastes like mud! It was ground this morning.
This is another fine myth you've gotten me into.
This message transmitted on 100% recycled photons.
Time heals all wounds, but the belly button remains.
To discover proper respect for authority, ask any cat.
To hide a feeling is to increase its force a thousand times.
Toad (def'n): It is what happens to an illegally parked frog.
Today I am feeling ept, ane, and sipid.
Tried to digitize my BoS: didn't make it past the spell checker!
Truly stupid wizards have the life expectancy of a glass hammer.
Try Sanity Lite --- Half the marbles of normal Sanity!
Tuesday is Human Sacrifice Day at the Sizzler.
Twisted mind? No, just bent in several strategic places
URA Pagan Redneck If: Your altar-cloth is a Rebel flag ...
URA Pagan Redneck If: Your ritual wine comes from a still.
URA Pagan Redneck if: "Damn Straight!" replaces "Blessed Be".
URA Pagan Redneck if: Pisces makes you think of bass fishing.
URA Pagan Redneck if: You think John Deer is the Lord of the Harvest.
URA Pagan Redneck if: Your Wand of Power is a cattle prod.
URA Pagan Redneck if: Your ritual wine is Maddog 20/20.
URA Pagan Redneck if: Your west quarter is the out-house.
Unable to locate Coffee.Com -- Programmer halted!
Unstable? Me? I prefer the term "mentally double-jointed".
Vinegar in yer ears? Ya got pickled hearing!
WARNING! DO NOT PLACE LIVE LOBSTERS IN MICROWAVE!
WARNING! I am carrying a concealed broadsword.
WARNING! Religious solicitors will be hideously martyred.
WARNING: I Operate On A Few Fries Short Of A Happy Meal.
WOW, that coffee's strong <<WHACK>> and mean too!
Warning! Area protected by Highly Trained Attack Moderator!
Warning! Incomprehensible action is about to occur.
Warning: Moderator is a horse gelder by trade and needs practice.
We had a quicksand box. I was an only child. Eventually.
We interrupt this program to annoy you and generally irritate you.
We percieve and are affected by changes to subtle to be described.
We're not acting. We're all really like this.
Wear your lunatic fringe membership badger proudly!
Well. This way lies galloping melancholia.
What a dandy day for putting slinkies on an escalator!
What color is a chameleon in a mirror?
What do Wiccans make at summer camp? ... WITCH CRAFTS!
What do you mean this broomstick has no brake?!?!?!?!?!
What is fear of the force? ... Obiewancanobieaphobia.
What!?!?! ... No Coffee!?!? ..... That's a sin!! ......
When it comes to thought some people stop at nothing.
Where does a blackbird go for a drink? -- To a crow bar ;)
Why am I smiling? Oh, just the random lascivious thought.
Witches use brooms cause nature abhors a vaccuum.
Witlag: The delay between speaking and comprehension of thought.
Woozers!! The damned thing actually works!!
Word your reply carefully: don't blow my cover.
Would it save time if I gave up & went mad now?
Would that reason were as contagious as emotion.
Wreck the malls with cows on Harleys ... fa lala la la ...
Writing a story is like wrestling an octopus.
You are here ---------------------> *
You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can not make them think.
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit.
You got problems if your familiar is a green marmoset named Bubba.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You shall know the truth, and it shall make you odd.
You think I'm crazy NOW? Just wait until the seditives wear off!!!
You will spend the rest of your life in the future.
You're more trouble than a toilet full of snakes.
Zen Druids practice Transcendental Vegetation.
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dap da-doo dat ... biddelooo dodah daywahahahahahah ...
greet the inevitable,bow to the absurd,suffer fools,but get on with it
Punalize -- To inflict a punalty on someone.
URA Redneck: If your family tree is Kudzu ...
I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
Here's just a thought: no good reason, I just thought of it.
I locked my coathanger in my car; good thing I had a key.
The bread and the salt from all paths taste the same.
When you're not looking at it, this sentence is in French!
I know why cats shed, that's easy, because their hair falls out.
Zebras have stripes so they can tell themselves apart from horses.