Prayers and advice

[Derry]

Ok. Raevyn gave me some advice to post here to get some support and prayers if you wish to do so. I'm glad she told me. I didn't post about this before because I don't want to seem whiny...so I keep everything inside of me bottled up. I'll make a long story a short as I can. I used to be confident and had a good job and position a couple of years ago. My health started to go downhill about 4-5 years ago. Severe migraines that bring about minor strokes and kidney trouble. I have been trying many, many different meds. Kidney trouble is almost under control...but not the migraines. Biggest problem??? I'm allergic to soooo many medications!!! That puts a kink in the solution doesn't it. On top of that...all but 3 of my family are now deceased. I know we all die eventually..but I'm 29 and they're all gone. The most recent death was 3 weeks go and I am still grieving about it. The hardest part though is my mother-in-law. She is a very successful person who makes quite a bit of money and rarely ever experieces problems or saddness. She says those kind of things (poverty and illness) only happen to bad people who deserve it. She is very dominating of other people. She says she has the right to be dominating and authoritive because" If God didn't want me to be controlling or critical of other people then he would stop me somehow or take away my suuccess". Ouch. The problem is what she says to me. "Sick people just bring the whole world down. You do nothing but bring my son's life down. With your disabilities you will never be anything, so don't even bother, the world doesn't need you." Ouch. My husband has tried to get her to stop, but it hasn't worked yet. He is very supportive of me and loves me a lot. He appreciates what I do as a house wife. No, I have no chilren. Can't have any. Right now he is my reason for living. He doesn't know how else to stop her except bannishing her from our lives and we don't want that. We just want her to quit dominating. I will never wish or do a bad spell on her because that is not the right thing to do. Plus, never done a spell!!! I posted about that elsewhere. My goal is to conquer the migraines(or atleast get them under control), go back to school to get my Medical Assistant certification and most of all...get my confidence back. Yeah, I know. The confidence needs to start from me...but I feel so hurt and alone right now. All of my friends are overseas. I'm a military wife. Most support groups here revolve around the Mormon religion or other Christian faiths. I would feel guilty if I joined and said I am a Christian if I am really not one. My mother and sister live 4,000 miles away and I just stay home alone all day. My path seems very dark right now. I can't even commit to the MA certification because of lack of money( bankruptcy hurt chances of school loans) and the fact that my hubby might be transferred in about 10 months and school won't be over yet and the school already said that they will not refund for reason of military move. Maybe my future lies in the next duty station....just feel very alone, beaten down by mother-in-law, feel worthless and can't see the path ahead yet. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.
Hey Raevyn, I'm glad I posted here. It feels a little better to get it off my chest. Thanks.

[Raevyn]

I'm glad it helped. I can't offer any advice (well I suck at giving advice ;)) but I can understand how you feel; I know what it's like to feel beaten down and lonely. You will be in my prayers. Love and light to you.

[Rubi Waters]

Oh Derry!!!! I'm not good at advice(considering my life isn't going all that well) All i can give you is love & energy (((Derry)))
At least your Husband is willing to stand up for you....that is a big thing.

[Old Witch]

Your mother in law is a real winner.......but what goes around comes around.........She'll be seeing things from a different point of view sooner or later, so just remember everything she said, and repeat word for word what she said to and about you....Yeah, I'm a cranky old witch tonight.....Hugs to you, hon.....

[materra]

Wow...you are surviving all this and a mother in law too. You have unplumbed depths of survival girl. Okay, there are pagans in Utah... hidden too, but they are there see what Witchvox has for listings too. They list folks everywhere. See the links in our New Pagan info. There are also pagan military web sites. Crank up the search engines and fly. In the meanwhile remember your mother in law will get her comeuppings.... and if you are luck you will get to see the look on her face. Warm hugs dear...

[Derry]

..and everyone else too. By the way Materra, I love your signature. I suspected there might be other Pagans in Utah, but finding them has been hard. What is witchvox? What threads exactly do I look for. Sorry, but there is so much great info on this site that I sometimes get lost!!!! Thanks for your advice. As for the mother -in-law...eechh...I honestly wonder if she knows how fortunate she is, especially during an economic recession, and how she can feel the way she does about less fortunate people. I know the God and Goddess are ever watching. They have a way of bringing you back down or making you realize something if you don't heed the warnings.
Hugs,
Derry

[materra]

http://www.witchvox.com/

It will link you to a place that will list pagan community members in all the states.


http://www.mysticwicks.com/forumdisplay.php?forumid=3

This will take you the New pagan site with lots of info for you to use. Lots of web sites etc etc.

Have fun.

[Faery-Wings]

((((hugs)))) Derry.

Like Old Witch said, what goes around, comes around. Your MIL is not acting very nice, in any way. And I wouldn't take anything she said personally. For one, it's all bull anyway, and for two...I bet she is like that to everyone who isn't "good" enough by her standards.

You sound like a very sincere, caring person and your hubby sounds very supportive and loving. Focus on that, and anytime you need a little boost, all you have to do is ask here.

Hang in there.
Chris

[Semele]

(((((Derry)))))

I actually kind of see the actions of your mother in law as those of someone who is insecure rather than so together as to tell others they are not. The comments seem to me to be her own way of lifting herself by forcing others down. That is not a great quality to possess and can be a very hard habit to break. I say you should pray for her to understand her actions etc. Sometimes if we pray for and try to seek healing for those who are hurting us, it helps in a number of ways. It certainly makes us feel more productive than if we wish ill on them either consciously or subconsciously. Plus it just sometimes helps them.

As for your headaches, I am sorry you are dealing with this. I can certainly sympathize with you on that problem and I know it is hard. No, it has nothing to do with you being a weak person or you bringing the world down I assure you. Just a thought on the MA training, I know some places offer online courses, although I am not sure how you would get your clinical skills via that medium, but it is something to think about if you had to go that route...internet goes with you everywhere ya know!

Good luck and I am sorry for your pain and I hope it gets better. I will light you a candle tonight. It sounds like you have a great husband and I am glad you love him enough to not insist he give up the relationship with his mom despite her hateful attitude. I bet he would do it for you, but I sense that you know it would be a loss and you are willing to take the brunt of her venom to spare him the loss. You are a very giving and loving person and in my opinion it is those like you who keep the world tolorable rather than bring it down. Thank you for being who you are for all of us. I love you and hope you have a pain free day!

[mol]

Wow. What a story. I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it Derry. Youve got quite a mountain to climb! Did you bring your pick-axe? If not, no worries, you can borrow one of ours. All of us have had to climb over a mountain at one time or another. It looks like a hopeless situation, but its not. Dont listen to the NAYsayers, like your Mother-in-law. The only way for those people to prosper is to suck the energy from folks like you and your husband. Respond by cutting that energy off, let them get it somewhere else...after all. YOU NEED IT.

You have us, anytime you need advice, etc. Post.

[Blueowl]

<hugs> Derry, always here for ya! Feel free to im me, email, I throw ya over my shoulder for a break and walk up that mountain with you to get to the other side!
Don't ever let someone like that suck away your good energy. You need all you have got for you and hubby! Congrats on where youa re at now..and keep climbing...it always gets better! :D

[Derry]

I appreciate all of the support positive energy. Since all of my friends have moved away. I assumed I wouldn't have anyone to lean on...guess I was wrong. I've got you guys!!

I feel in a better mood today. I went to my doc and she has put me on a migraine preventative...or atleast we hope it will prevent them. We have to watch this drug for the next couple of weeks because it slows heart rate and lowers blood pressure which we are watching because my BP is already naturally low. Even if this medicine doesn't completely cure the migraines...any improvement is a blessing.

Still not sure about the school thing. I did check into the internet course, but if we move to another state(which we might if we get transferred) it will cause problems because each state does there own certification. Plus, if I start the course in Utah, they said I have to take the clinicals here too. I hoped they would tranfer me, but this is a certification, not college credit. Darn it. Oh well, thanks Semele, we tried. Maybe now isn't the time or maybe I should wait and see how much longer we will be here. Maybe there is a path already laid ahead for me ...I just need to wait for the fog to lift so I can see it!!!!!!!

Hugs to all and I feel all the energy you guys have sent my way, Thanks
Derry

[Willow_Raindancer]

Here's my advice. Stay as far away from your MIL as you can. You don't want to be standing anywhere near her when the Karma Police show up! You may get caught in the line of fire, if you know what I mean. There's a thing called "Toxic Love" and it should be avoided. You said you don't want to leave your MIL out of your lives for you DH sake I'm guessing. Your not doing him any favors with that attitude! He needs just as much as you to be a way from such a shallow person. I don't care if it IS his mother.

All I can add is she's lucky she ain't my MIL! I would not stand for such disrespect!;)

[Lunacie]

Hi Derry, and merry meet. I hope that you and your doctor can find something to help with the migraines. I get them sometimes myself and know how rotten they make you feel ~ even without the Mother of Doom raining all over you. If I had to deal with someone like her I'd be thinking very seriously about a binding spell. Perhaps a better place to start would be with creating a protective shield around yourself to keep negativity from sticking to you? Best of luck and bright blessings to you.

[Willow_Raindancer]

Have you tried Feverfew for your migraines?
here's a link with some info
http://www.richters.com/Web_store/web_store.cgi?product=X2480&cart_id=8736591.26542

I hope you find something to help with them, I get them too but not as often.