Name Change?

[Phoenix Blue]

I'm actually thinking about a change of legal name, here, rather than username or majickal name, etc. See, my ex-wife's husband is talking about taking "her" name, which she hasn't changed since she married me. And the thought of sharing the same last name as this individual sickens and frightens me. I'd take them to court to block it if I could, but I can't: per the divorce agreement, she's entitled to keep the last name; and per their marriage, he's allowed to adopt it.

Further, I've never really felt a strong connection to my legal family. But there're two ways to go with this. I'd talked about changing my last name to Wanderer's last name, after we marry--but that was before this recent change of events. Now, I'm giving strong consideration to changing my last name to, "Phoenix."

What're you guys' thoughts on this?

[Semele]

I think names are just words. Call yourself whatever you want and you will still be the same person. However, the last thing I would do is let some jerk take my name without a fight!! If he wants to copy you and have the same name let him. Isn't it just a lot of paperwork and such to change your name?

On the other hand, what does wanderer think? Will she even let you have her name?? LOL! ;)

Phoenix is cool though!

[Storm]

I think when you get married you can change your name to whatever you want. You don't need to wait. You could both pick a name you like and sign the document as married nme and there you go..new last name. I would vote for either Wanderer's name or Pheonix.

[Radocs]

It's just a name. In my opinion it's not worth worrying about.

[Ahautenites]

You could even change it to Frampton, if you wanted to, bro. (Just in case something happens to Jason overseas. He's the last male of my family.)


**smiles** But I still prefer the last name of Phoenix. Just because it would be easier to call you "Mister P" than "Mister Dubya".

[Phoenix Blue]

True, Radocs, it's just a name. . . but the less I have in common with my ex, and especially her pet man, the happier I am about it. :)

I don't think I could ever deal with being called "Mr. Dubya," though a few folks in Wanderer's family would probably consider it high praise. :T

[Semele]

LOL!! Well Mr. P does have a certain ring to it...I think I like it! Can we still call you PB though? I can never take you too seriously when I think of you as a giant Peanutbutter sandwich!:cool:

[Lyntwyn]

I think Phoenix would be fitting...after all the Hel fire you have been through.
As to your legal family (I assume you mean your immediate family as in siblings and Parents) You will still be Blue to them. You can call a tree a cloud. Names don't matter..it's who YOU are that matters. (BTW, I think who YOU are is terrific):thumbsup:

[Ravens_Tears]

Originally posted by Phoenix_Blue

True, Radocs, it's just a name. . . but the less I have in common with my ex, and especially her pet man, the happier I am about it. :)


:rotfl: pet man?????? maybe she should change his name to "rover"???? LMAO


I didn't vote because I think you should do what makes you happiest, maybe a combination even? And, at least in Canada, I know that I am legally entitled to use any/all names I have been given in my life or combination thereof. I quite often will use the combination of the second half of my first name and my old married name when signing up for things on the net that I'm unsure about my privacy. Makes it pretty obvious which sites are sending me spam too....

[mol]

Well, it is just a name...a label. But it might as well be cool. I chose Phoenix!

:)

[Sequoia]

I like the idea of Phoenix, Phoe-chan! But you may have people calling you by your last name! (or a hyphenated japanese-suffixed version thereof. . . 8O )

[Phoenix Blue]

;) I think I can deal with that. . . remember, I'm in the military, so I'm used to being called by my last name. What would be odd, would be the first few times I'm called "Sgt. Phoenix." :D

[Sequoia]

W00T! LMAO that would ROCK!

[Azure]

I like Sgt. Phoenix - it sounds like a comic book hero!

Personally, I would wait a bit - he may never actually change his name, and why should you worry unless he actually does it and then reflects poorly on you. From what I've heard of him, he's big on talk, but weak on any action that requires conscious thought.

[mol]

Change your last name to Rock!

Sgt Rock!

Or Joe...

Gi Joe!

:D

[Ahautenites]

How about "Roc Phoenix" for a bit of mythical bird redundancy?
Then again.... if he changes his name to Roc, I will never be able to look at him ever again without giggling hysterically.

[Phoenix Blue]

Quoth Azure:

I like Sgt. Phoenix - it sounds like a comic book hero!

Personally, I would wait a bit - he may never actually change his name, and why should you worry unless he actually does it and then reflects poorly on you. From what I've heard of him, he's big on talk, but weak on any action that requires conscious thought.
True enough; but I think it's the ex who's doing the thinking and the string-pulling, here. Call it a hunch.

Waiting a bit goes almost without saying, though. . . :) not because I don't think it will happen, but because I want to be sure it's what I want to do.

[Ahautenites]

**grumbles uncharitably about the fish woman**

[Lunacie]

I didn't cast a vote, this is absolutely your own decision to make. I decided to keep my married name after the divorce for a couple of reasons. One: I was married longer than I was single. Two: I don't like my birth family much better than my ex and my former in-laws. Three: I was too cheap to spend the moola on the name-change.

That said, Phoenix would prolly be a cool last name, I can't think of too many things you could name any future children that would sound too awful with that surname. And just a thought, how will it make your son feel if you end with different surnames? I know, he's too little to ask him about it now, but it's something to keep in mind, eh?

[Garnet]

PB, we're gonna love you whether you change your name, keep it as it is, or show up in a thread some day & demand to be called 'Pooh Bear'.
Honestly, I think you're letting that bad man control you & the entire situation if you're thinking of changing your name just so you & he don't have the same last name. It sounds a bit as if he's trying to 'yank your chain', & he's succeeding if he's made you consider changing your name.
Of course, if your name is a long, ethnic one that's difficult to pronounce or spell, maybe changing it could work (or would at least be a better excuse than "Because that #@$%&!! shouldn't have the same name as me!") When my cousin divorced, she kept her ex's short & simple Anglo-Saxon last name rather than go back to her long & difficult Polish patronymic.

Of course, it could be very cool for you & Wanderer to form a completely new last name for the new family the two of you will be.

[Ahautenites]

Mr. and Mrs. Fookityboo.

**Grins**

[Mnemosyne]

I love the name "Phoenix" but I don't think that you should change your name to it. Don't have a logical explanation- just do.

Some people say that a name is just a word. I don't agree at all. Names are so special. I love my name and couldn't think about changing it. Names are a part of us. But then again, I don't know about your situation, PB. If you think that it is going to make you happier to change your name, then go for it. But think carefully about the outcome.

[Lyntwyn]

That said, Phoenix would prolly be a cool last name

It works for Joaquin Phoenix and his late brother, River Phoenix.
People may ask if you are related, PB.

[Xentor]

Greetings,

A name is a very personal token. If someone around even whispers your name, you react instinctively, looking for the person that used it, trying to find out what they want.

You can't *just* change names unless you have very strong motives. I can connect to such motives, as I have pondered on changing names myself. Going by a new name may open up completely new possibilities, while letting go of old sore together with the old name.

Therefore, choose a name that very closely relates to you. Some people may call this a "soul" name. If "Phoenix" is that close to you, if it touches you right in the center of you existence, then that name should be yours.

But I agree with Semele. If you like your current name, don't give it up without putting up a fight.

[callalily]

I didn't vote wither, PB, because it's such a personal issue. I changed my last name to the DH's when we married because a) I didn't really like my maiden name, and b) there's still more than a smidge of traditional Italian patriarchal values in my genetic makeup. *sigh with laughter*

My DH's ex kept his name, but her maiden name was this huge unpronounceable Polish thing, so I didn't blame her. Also, it was an amicable split, so I kept that boat not rocking.


Will the ex and her leashed one be near you? Have contact? Interact in professional ways where things will be awkward? There's so many ramifications.

[Grey]

I gotta agree with Mnemosyne here, on top of that have you ever noticed that people with the same name tend to share certain characteristics (first and/or last names)?? While changing to phoenix or miss wanderers last name is up to you, you may wish to consider what attributes are associated with each, they may not be what you think...

Best of luck however you go about it (or not about it for that matter), and have a good one K.