ADHD/school misbehavior advice needed please.

[Faery-Wings]

My son is 6 and is in first grade. And he has become the class clown, and not really in a good way. I got another phone call from his teacher yesterday. Thank Goddess she is so nice. He has had trouble staying focused since day one- in kdg. he is just not able to sit and pay attention. And now he is getting loud and *silly.*

He had been doing better after the holidays, but she said the last two weeks or so, he has gone downhill quickly. She said that he is doing extremely well academically and can't see holding him back, but also sees that he needs to start acting more maturely.

She has said since the beginning of the year, he is one of the youngest and needs a chance to mature. And we thought he was doing so, until this period of time. She never felt that it was anything more than lack of maturity, never felt it was ADHD.

But now I am starting to worry. I thought after a year and a half in school, he'd be getting his act together. And he is so bright, I can't see that holding him back would help him in any way- I think it would only make matters worse, since he'll be incredibly bored.

Does this sound like it could be ADHD? He seems to have some of the characteristics, but at the same time, he'll sit and draw or build legos or do a computer game for hours. I don't know what else to do. Talking to him about behaving better isn't getting me anywhere. We are doing a behavior chart, where his teacher will send a sticker home if he is good and a note if he is not. He chose to lose his three favorite toys for each day he gets a note. But other than that I am at a loss.

Please, any help is appreciated.

[Storm]

It could be. It is probably a little early to tell. I have it and my children are 2 and 4 and I fret over the slightest hints they might have it. It is not to early to start studing up on techniques on helping him keep focus. I have nothing to offer as I floundered through school on my own since they really did not know much about it then. As I was graduating from high school they were becoming aware. If he is as bright as you say then I would think holding him back is not the answer and in fact could undermine his self esteme. If he is still display hyperactive behavior next year then I would consider taking him to the doctor. I hear there are many more better treatments these days then ritalin. Also if you search the net there are dietary adjustments that are attested to help with symptoms of hyperactivety. It is hard to understand why someone couldn't just sit still if they wanted to. But take it from someone who has heard "You could pay attention if you wanted to or would only try." I did want to and I did try. I would be paying attention and next thing I know I would catch MYSELF not paying attention and not be able to remember exactly when or how my focus shifted. I WAS paying attention. I DON'T know when I stopped paying attention. I DIDN'T mean to stop paying attention. I don't REMEMBER stopping and turning to look at the woman walking her dog outside. I just found myself looking at her and the dog. I don't know when that happened.

Well anyway. I wish you good luck. It is hard on everyone.
The kid, the teacher, and the parents. If everyone does their homework you should be able to get through it.

[Storm]

"Does this sound like it could be ADHD? He seems to have some of the characteristics, but at the same time, he'll sit and draw or build legos or do a computer game for hours. "

If he does indeed have it...this is called hyperfocusing. There are interest we start and let wane, start again and let wane. So many interesting things we have going and nothing finished. But then there may be one or two things that we are so passionate about we absorb like a sponge or work on obsessively. When I learned of ADHD I read everything I could get my hands on. Obsessively. When I got pregnant, I read everything on that. I was always fascinated by evolution. It was the only class in college I didn't zap out on. I wrote a paper on it FOR MYSELF after the class was over!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now I have found paganism and I am hyperfocused on that. My nose is always buried in a book related to it in some manner. Or on this website!!! Hey everyone, she's been studying it for a year now! I think she's serious!!!

[Raevyn]

I know this really isn't helpful but have you considered taking him to the doctor to see what he thinks? Has the teacher suggested it could be ADD/ADHD? Do you need help finding online resources for info?

[Djiril]

Blueowl just posted what looks like a good link on the subject here (http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=24716).

[Yvonne Belisle]

To be honest in a lot of ways at this stage it doesn't really matter if he has it since the techniques for focusing are good for anyone at all. A lot of times kids get labeled with it and don't have it and the common responce to that label is drugs. Check food allergies and focusing techniques first then look at adhd as a serious possibility If you check into the focusing methods first and use them with him then you don't lose anything and you may both win.

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by chryssi1

My son is 6 and is in first grade. And he has become the class clown, and not really in a good way. I got another phone call from his teacher yesterday. Thank Goddess she is so nice. He has had trouble staying focused since day one- in kdg. he is just not able to sit and pay attention. And now he is getting loud and *silly.*

He had been doing better after the holidays, but she said the last two weeks or so, he has gone downhill quickly. She said that he is doing extremely well academically and can't see holding him back, but also sees that he needs to start acting more maturely.

She has said since the beginning of the year, he is one of the youngest and needs a chance to mature. And we thought he was doing so, until this period of time. She never felt that it was anything more than lack of maturity, never felt it was ADHD.

But now I am starting to worry. I thought after a year and a half in school, he'd be getting his act together. And he is so bright, I can't see that holding him back would help him in any way- I think it would only make matters worse, since he'll be incredibly bored.

Does this sound like it could be ADHD? He seems to have some of the characteristics, but at the same time, he'll sit and draw or build legos or do a computer game for hours. I don't know what else to do. Talking to him about behaving better isn't getting me anywhere. We are doing a behavior chart, where his teacher will send a sticker home if he is good and a note if he is not. He chose to lose his three favorite toys for each day he gets a note. But other than that I am at a loss.

Please, any help is appreciated.

To me (from my own experience) it sounds like he just might be bored already. Or he just might want more attention. He's just six years old, and six-year-olds have a hard time getting their thoughts and opinions across, so they express them physically instead.

Too many children get labelled today, without there being anything actually wrong with them.

Are you sure he's just not a Seven? (look into the Enneagram - it could be interesting in cases like this).

[Djiril]

On the other hand, if he does have ADHD, the sooner you find out the better, and I can't see them forceing drugs on him if you don't agree to it. What would it take to get him tested?

[Margie]

I'm almost positive that holding him back is not the answer. Especially if he's doing fine academically. I'm almost positive he is bored and it could be because he's mentally ahead of his class (not emotionally behind). I know when I was in 6th grade I was getting into alot of minor trouble at home and in school and it was because I was bored. I got IQ tested and got to go to tutoring occasionally to get out of class and do things on my level. The tutor also came to my house on some weekends. It made a world of difference. My brother is 8 and was having the same problems at 4 and 5 and they found the same things with him. He's now in 2nd? grade I think and he's doing his own work at 4th and 5th grade levels. His behavior has improved immensely(sp?) but he's still in his class becasue he's not overmature emotionally.

[Faery-Wings]

Thank you all so much for your advice. I am going to look over that link, and see what else I can find.

I'll post back all my thoughts when I have some (coffee deprived brain right now).

BB

[IsisErin]

*Please excuse me if what I'm saying is complete rubbish. I'm not a mum and I don't know much about ADHD, but some of what you wrote struck a chord with me.*

It could just be that he's really clever, and he's just bored. I was like that when I was about four, I could read for hours, but when it came to maths, although I could do it, I found it a little more difficult, which I wasn't used to. I then started to muck about and be a little disruptive. My mum told me this sort of behaviour was not on, and gave me a little help at home with maths. The same sort of thing happened in other classes - I can remember being sent out of Music class in primary school because I was talking. Again, it was because I found it too easy. Usually a talking to from the teacher stopped me doing it.

Like Margie, I got various ability tests including IQ, for me it was at age seven, and as a consequence my teacher decided I didn't have to read the books the 'reading groups' were reading, and various other adjustments to my school day. That made all the difference, as because I was challenged by all my subjects, my general attitude to my schoolwork improved. I was a straight A student from then on.

From what I know about the subject, if you're worried about your child having ADHD, it is best to speak to his teacher and see if you can have learning support staff or an educational psychologist look at his behaviour.

Just my tuppence worth.

[Faery-Wings]

Aaah, a few cups of coffee and I feel much better! :)

I have been looking a lot online and saw the differences between inattentive and hyperactive. He definitely isn't the hyperactive- he could possibly be the inattentive...or then again, might not.

Last year I posted that Scott was having trouble focusing in class (kdg) and he got better in some respects. So this isn't a shock, really. And I agree, I think a lot of it is that he is bored. And he doesn't like to be told what to do all the time. My hubby has said that I should homeschool him, but I am not sure that is the answer. I am more open to it now than I was a year ago, but I still think he needs public school experiences.

I am working with him at home now, on "stop, think, do the right thing" and we are making "No Silly Times" (eg. meals and homework time) so I can help moniter him on how to make transitions of quiet time and play time.

I am stuck on how to teach him to focus, so if anyone knows of a technique on that I'd love to hear it.

[Faery-Wings]

Oh, I just want to add... we have Parent teacher conferences in three weeks. If we don't see any improvement by then, I'll be calling the ped.

[Mnemosyne]

Lots of love, Chyrssi! Hopefully, everything will work out.

I can't tell you if it is ADHD. Maybe kids are misdiagnosed for the disorder. Does your son have problems concentrating all the time or just when he doesn't want to do something?

Also, instead of taking away his toys when he gets a note sent home, why don't you also focus on the positive? For example, if he doesn't get a note sent home, why don't you put a little sticker in a chart. After accumulating so many stickers, maybe you can get him a little reward.

It sounds like the teacher is concerned with your son. What has the teacher done to reduce your son's behavior? Here's some advice.

*provide your son with enjoyable activities if he completes a task early
* give your son frequent opportunities to interact with others (ex. sharing, participation)
*have a peer model desired behavior
*reinforce those students who are on-task
*make sure that the rules are clearly established

If problems continue, maybe the teacher can have a SST meeting with you and other school faculty members.

[Faery-Wings]

Mnenosyne, thank you for the suggestions, they will be very helpful on giving me some starting points to discuss with his teacher.

His teacher is giving him a "face" each day- happy, trying or sad. So far, he has gotten three trying and one sad. We have told him when he brings home a happy face he can pick something special to do, like a family game, or extra computer time. He has told me that he feels that his behavior is getting better, but who knows how objective that is.

I am going to write a note to her mid- week and just see if she sees any improvement.

I have been watching him a lot interact with his friends and sister and at home. And at home or shopping settings, he is actually very well behaved. My daughter gives me more trouble here, and her teachers say she is wonderful! LOL!

[Blueowl]

Chryssi....go to this link....
www.add.org

They are an excelletn source of information. ALso if you take your child to be diagnosed....go through this site. They have people that are trained and can tell you for sure whther or not this is something your child does in fact have. If he has it, it isn't severe. lol He sounds very mild. Just because a child can sit for hours at a time does not mean they don't have it! Good luck, and let me know how it goes! It could also be he is too smart...and it bored easily! Either way...many blessings and I hope you find the answers. BTW...so many parent sdo NOT participate in their childs education...I want to give you a high five for being the responsible parent and keeping up with your children in school! If my folks hadn't been up my butt all the time with school and everything else, I so would have gotton lost in the huge cracks within the educational system!
One more thing, A PED can tell you who to go to for DIagnosing ADD/ADHD, but they do not have the qualifications to prescribe medication and treatment properly! Unless they specifically deal with ADD/ADHD children. SOmeone will probably disagree with me on this....but I do KNOW what I am talking about with this. Tith all the kids misdiagnosed because parents do not know there is a way to properly diagnos(SP?) them and then their kids are on medications they never needed! Please do not do that!
Astra! Your into Enneogram too?! Hehehe I am a six....love Enneogram...(SP?)

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by Blueowl

Astra! Your into Enneogram too?! Hehehe I am a six....love Enneogram...(SP?)

Weeee!! Someone else who knows about it!!! :D :D My boyfriend (Four with Five-wing) has been into it for super-long, and when I met him three years ago, I couldn't do anything else than learn... lol

What wing do you have?? (I'm asking, because my mom is a six (five-wing), as well as my best friend in school (probably five-wing there, too...)

I'm a Seven... with an Eight-wing... :D Unhealthy. ;)

[Lady Eryn]

I have ADD and it was not detected untill I was a junior in high school. My son has jjust turned 7 and is also in first grade . I was really up frount with his teacher and asked her if she has noticed any simptoms in Nickolas' behavior. She said that she has not noticed any thing but that I should not rule it out .
ADD is pased from parent to child sop I am worried that I gave my children this dissorder. My addvice to you is to defanetly see what your pedeatriton says . and if he/she can reconmend a good place to get your son tested. You don't want to wait if your son has this disorder because it can be very hard for your son if he has it and you put off testing . And if he doesn't have it then at least you made sure. They have new medacations out now and he ,if he has it , won't have to be medacated in school it lastes all day and wears off by bed time. If you have any more questions about ADD fell free to ask me. :thumbsup:

[Faery-Wings]

Thanks so much LadyEryn. :) We are keeping a close eye on him. He even came home with a smily face yesterday. Yay!!

So my fingers are crossed that this is just a bit of silly immature boy-ness combined with a very cooped up winter. If it is not, however, I am researching well and will be prepared.

Thanks everyone!

[AstraSkye]

I just read an article in a Swedish newspaper that "ADHD-like" behaviours could be caused by something as simple as a lack of sleep, which in turn can be caused by snoring or sleep apnea.

[Faery-Wings]

AstraSkye, I remember reading something about that a while ago. Scott snores a lot and if I remember correctly that was one of the signs. And he always has dark cirlces under his eyes.

Was there a name for this? I'd love to do a search and see what I can find.

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by chryssi1

AstraSkye, I remember reading something about that a while ago. Scott snores a lot and if I remember correctly that was one of the signs. And he always has dark cirlces under his eyes.

Was there a name for this? I'd love to do a search and see what I can find.

I think you just found parts of the problem!

Look up "Sleep Apnea" - which can be caused by snoring. It causes the breathing to stop for short periods of time, and thereby disturb one's sleep.

[Faery-Wings]

Astra, there is so much info on this. Maybe I am on to something....

:)

[Gently Gazing Eyes]

I have but one bit of advice; if the kid can do it, let him skip grades and get out of public school as soon as possible. I still hate that my grandparents would not let me skip five grades when I was fully capable, as it ended up holding me back quite a bit, since now that I am able to attend higher studies, we suddenly do not have the money to do so; we had that money five years ago. Don't let people say "Your child won't do good with such older children" or any of that; homeschool the kid if you must, but don't waste the child's life and time by making it say in public education. :(

I say all this because I was an ADHD child, and they held me back because of it so they could "monitor my progress" when I had no interest at all in 'progressing' with my 'peers' I just wanted away from them and the school 'work' was boring. I don't see what would be so bad about me having already attained a four-year degree at fifteen and then living around the house for a year until I was of legal age to work. Instead, I got to trod through school at their pace, got out at sixteen because they let me go to a charter school, and now there's no money for anything more; time to get a job or lose the 'net.

Beh.. I shouldn't rant so much about myself. :)



:boing:

[AstraSkye]

Even though I don't have ADHD, I agree with Inkubus there... I'm currently 19 years old, and I'm still not out of high school (I've spent one year in public high school, and right now I go to a semi-private Catholic folk high school, though I have just attended one class in the past three weeks) due to an "intellectual frustration" that started already in 1st grade.

The level of the education is too low, which causes me to get bored, and lateron, depressed. So I keep screwing up, because the schools can't give me the education I have the right to.

[Faery-Wings]

PI And AS, I understand what you are saying. My husband went through a very similar situation when he was a child. Our son is following very closely in the same pattern as Dad. Hubby has been wanting me to homeschool him since he started have some difficulties in kdg last year. However, as of right now, there are benefits my son gets socially from the school and the fact that it I hope it will keep him in the real world. If he continues to struggle and it affects him, ie makes him depressed, then that is something I will consider. Or private school if we can find on we can afford, that isn't a Catholic school. (Not a cut against Catholic schools- we just don't feel comfortable sending our kids to one).


I have also been trying very hard to keep an eye on him with the amount of sugar he eats. Seems like I am seeing a pattern that real sweet sugary foods make him a bit bonkers for a while. So we are cutting down on the simple carbs and will stock up on the complex carbs and proteins.

*thinks I will start a thread for ideas...*

I know he is somewhat bored in school. he picks things up very quickly- i think his school starts gifted programs in second grade but they are very strict in the requirements and I am not sure if his grades are up to the standards. He is very very creative and imaginitive and I hope the school takes that into consideration.

Two weeks until his conference- and I have lots of questions and comments. :)