family problems

[Kaylana]

Hi Everyone,
I wanted to know your opinion on this. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We are in a serious relationship and plan on getting engaged and married after I finsh school. I will finish school in a year.
This up coming weekend my parents will be forcing me to go their Christian baptism. I respect their religion and I do not mind going except for the fact that there is nothing for me to do to keep occupied. My parents out of the blue told me I could bring my boyfriend who is also pagan. (who are just starting to like.) My boyfriend was fine going but he doesn't understand how I can respect my families wishes if they will never support mine. I explained to him my reason and he sort of understands.
This converstation started a conversation between me and my boyfriend about marriage. We talked about who was going to marry us. This is a problem for me. My family will not accept us and will be angry with if I am not married by a Christian priest. Again I do not mind respecting my parents wishes. I don't want to get married by a Christian priest because I feel I would be lying. I also don't want to be married by a Christian priest.
The other problem I have is that parents do not know that I am Wiccan. I have not told them because they are unsupporitvie, they do not respect me as a adult and our family has had numermous family fights that cause members not to talk anyone any more. These fights end relationships with no hope of resolving these issues. I don't want to cause another fight but I cannot lie to them.
I was going to tell my family I'm a Wiccan when I got engaged. I was planning on telling my mother when we talked about who was going to marry me (during the planning of the wedding.)
My boyfriend feels that if I wait to than to tell my family I'm Wiccan and I don't want a priest it will be to much for them.
I want to tell my family that I'm Wiccan when the time is right. I don't think the time will ever be right. I also am afraid that I will forced to tell them when I plan my wedding. Since they might go as far as taking away my money to finsh school this puts me in a huge dilemma.
I know that I have a while to think about these things but time goes by fast. How do I deal with my family with them being hurt the least?

[Derry]

Explain to your boyfriend that the reason you are currently respecting your family's wishes is because they are your parents. I too have a parent who will never ever accept my path. She mom devoutly believes that Paganism is against the bible. I've never told her and probably never will. I love her no less for her beliefs. She is my mom and I will always love her. Here 's a thought. Now, I'm not saying this will work. Listen to the advise of other people here who will post behind me before making any decisions. Get a justice of the peace to do the wedding. Tell your parents that you just can't commit to a "religious minister". Don't know if they will accept that or not. Then later on, have a personal handfasting ceremony. invite any Pagan friends you may have, if you don't have any, just pick a beautiful spot in nature and see if someone can do a handfasting for you. I personally have been married 11 years, but if I got to England, I wanted to pick a site that was meaningful in nature and have a handfasting/renewal of vows done between me and my hubby. This plan may not work for you, but it's food for thought. I wish the best to you.