Your Funny Experiences

[StarlitNox]

What's the funniest pagan-related story you have?

Mine:
When I was 15, I was talking to somebody who seemed to be a Cthulu nut (oh, here we go :P ). She was a tad younger than me, I think, and started spouting off her psychobabble of how she got kicked out of school several times for attacking classmates to drink their blood (I'm pretty sure she was BS-ing me), drank blood all the time, could summon Cthulu, could do some dark, powerful magic, etc. Back then, I didn't believe in magic or anything like that. Suddenly, the girl said she was going to curse me and started saying things backwards, calling Cthulu on me... something about my soul, I think. Anyway, I was half creeped out (was only 15 after all XD) and half amused, so I began laughing in her face, calling her out on her nonsense, etc. After I said backwards-speak isn't really magic, she said "So, you know the code, eh?"
........ <--- that's all I could think of to say to that
My pagan friend helped me in making a fool of her (obviously she knew more about magic at the time than I did), and we never spoke to her again.
Yeah, nothing ever became of that curse. XD
---

That story just popped in my head out of nowhere a minute ago, and gave me a lovely little belly-laugh. So, I had to start a thread like this. Share your funniest pagan stories~

[Silverwing]

This didn't happen to me, but my boyfriend had all the guys in his dorm floor convinced that he sacrificed goats, drank their blood, and could cast hexes on them just by glancing at them - all because he wears a pentagram ring. xD These guys were total asses, so every once in a while to get back at them he'd stand in the middle of the hallway, glare at them when they passed by, and chant gibberish under his breath while making arcane hand motions. Scared the hell out of them every time. xD

[StarlitNox]

chant gibberish under his breath while making arcane hand motions.

That made me giggle like a madman XD Thanks for sharing, it put a smile on my face when I needed it :P

[seekerofknwoledge]

This happened to me when I was in high school and still somewhat new to paganism. I went to a very Catholic high school, and we had masses pretty frequently. One mass they decided to have a visiting priest come in to do a little lecture/presentation afterward. To this day I don't know why they didn't ask him what he was going to talk about, but they didn't and he began by saying "Fortune cookies are the devil's tool!"

From there is descended into a tirade against fortune cookies, Harry Potter, and anything else that remotely resembled paganism. He also "instructed" the whole school on what these evil pagans believed... "They worship rocks, their gods are rocks! They think a rock is the creator of the universe. And trees, and dirt, and...chairs!"

I laughed so hard I cried, and one of the teachers had to ask me to calm down or leave. Obviously this man was intended to do a serious presentation to scare us, but he was so misinformed it was hilarious. Plus the look on the poor principal's face was fantastic when he realized where the tirade was going... Poor guy.

[Gray Dragaen]

"Fortune cookies are the devil's tool!"

I knew it! I'm glad someone else knows about the conspiracy!

But seriously, who wouldn't laugh out loud if someone started their lecture that way? :bigredgri
That's utterly ridiculous!

[Eyeris]

What's the funniest pagan-related story you have?

Mine:
When I was 15, I was talking to somebody who seemed to be a Cthulu nut (oh, here we go :P ). She was a tad younger than me, I think, and started spouting off her psychobabble of how she got kicked out of school several times for attacking classmates to drink their blood (I'm pretty sure she was BS-ing me), drank blood all the time, could summon Cthulu, could do some dark, powerful magic, etc. Back then, I didn't believe in magic or anything like that. Suddenly, the girl said she was going to curse me and started saying things backwards, calling Cthulu on me... something about my soul, I think. Anyway, I was half creeped out (was only 15 after all XD) and half amused, so I began laughing in her face, calling her out on her nonsense, etc. After I said backwards-speak isn't really magic, she said "So, you know the code, eh?"
........ <--- that's all I could think of to say to that
My pagan friend helped me in making a fool of her (obviously she knew more about magic at the time than I did), and we never spoke to her again.
Yeah, nothing ever became of that curse. XD
---

That story just popped in my head out of nowhere a minute ago, and gave me a lovely little belly-laugh. So, I had to start a thread like this. Share your funniest pagan stories~

I think you mentioned this one before... thanks you for sharing. And telling me THE CODE! :O


This happened to me when I was in high school and still somewhat new to paganism. I went to a very Catholic high school, and we had masses pretty frequently. One mass they decided to have a visiting priest come in to do a little lecture/presentation afterward. To this day I don't know why they didn't ask him what he was going to talk about, but they didn't and he began by saying "Fortune cookies are the devil's tool!"

From there is descended into a tirade against fortune cookies, Harry Potter, and anything else that remotely resembled paganism. He also "instructed" the whole school on what these evil pagans believed... "They worship rocks, their gods are rocks! They think a rock is the creator of the universe. And trees, and dirt, and...chairs!"

I laughed so hard I cried, and one of the teachers had to ask me to calm down or leave. Obviously this man was intended to do a serious presentation to scare us, but he was so misinformed it was hilarious. Plus the look on the poor principal's face was fantastic when he realized where the tirade was going... Poor guy.

THIS is epic. XDXDXD

[Heliotrope]

Our neighbor down the street is really into Silver Ravenwolf and the like; she keeps pressing me to help her summon a dragon to protect her house.

It is really funny--and it would be funnier, if she were asking my Satanist roommate.

[Sakurako]

LOL that's hilarious!!!

[Meadhbh]

One of my managers has managed to convence herself that I will hunt down her grandchildren and eat them. I am not kidding folks, as that is what my kind of people do. Oh that and I have orgies and sacrifice goats and virgins or maybe virgin goats never quiet clear on the finer points of what I sacrifice. He then told some large zealot type men, and I again I'm serious some one found the in the forest looking for kindling. I think I need to start carrying marshmellow so I am not caugh unprepared.

[StarlitNox]

Oh that and I have orgies and sacrifice goats and virgins or maybe virgin goats never quiet clear on the finer points of what I sacrifice.

Speaking as a virginal Virgo, PLEASE DON'T SACRIFICE ME! *runs away*

lolol XD I'm sorry you have to deal with that from a manager, though. Seriously. That can't be fun :(

[Silverwing]

This happened to me when I was in high school and still somewhat new to paganism. I went to a very Catholic high school, and we had masses pretty frequently. One mass they decided to have a visiting priest come in to do a little lecture/presentation afterward. To this day I don't know why they didn't ask him what he was going to talk about, but they didn't and he began by saying "Fortune cookies are the devil's tool!"

From there is descended into a tirade against fortune cookies, Harry Potter, and anything else that remotely resembled paganism. He also "instructed" the whole school on what these evil pagans believed... "They worship rocks, their gods are rocks! They think a rock is the creator of the universe. And trees, and dirt, and...chairs!"

I laughed so hard I cried, and one of the teachers had to ask me to calm down or leave. Obviously this man was intended to do a serious presentation to scare us, but he was so misinformed it was hilarious. Plus the look on the poor principal's face was fantastic when he realized where the tirade was going... Poor guy.

All hail the mighty Rock, creator of all that is seen and unseen! xD I wish that happened at my Catholic high school; I would've had the same reaction. :hyper: Too funny.

[Meadhbh]

Speaking as a virginal Virgo, PLEASE DON'T SACRIFICE ME! *runs away*

lolol XD I'm sorry you have to deal with that from a manager, though. Seriously. That can't be fun :(

Thanks. But actually its pretty funny. As none of my co-workers can stand her anyway. So I've become the offical eater of children in the work place. Of course last Halloween we could come in costem. I wore a gaint witch's hat, all the day long just for her. She ran screaming down the hall way, litterally.