Changes in Path/Faith

[Mithrea]

I don't know how far this thread will get because it could turn out to be highly personal. Practically everyone I know right now is going through some pretty serious stuff--including myself. I find that in times of high stress and major life changes, my faith and my path also tend to change. I suppose that's part of the nature of religion.

What I'm wondering is what sort of events in your life--it could be as simple as picking up a new book at the bookstore or as heavy and complex as death-- have changed your path and why or how?

I'd say that I am in one of these transition phases right now so I won't comment on that but most recently before this, it happened while I was taking a class on marginal religions. Seeing where my path fits into the larger picture seriously changed my views on it. Also, researching Egyptian Mythology for my MA thesis did the same thing because it started me looking for commonalities rather than differences between the religions of the world. This was something I had been taught to do but never really fully grasped the concept of.

Reading Scott Cunninghams books also caused a major change for me. Noticing how inclusive he was, like using Hawaiian flowers in his correspondences, made me rethink everything I do magically. I was so used to using only the correspondences and remedies from right here that I never thought about the differences in other regions and the possibilities of looking elsewhere. His book, Earth Power also completely changed the way I think of myself within the magic and vice versa.

There are many more I could write about but I'm interested to hear from all of you :)

[mol]

The change I am going through kicked off after a series of 'events' or 'coincidences' had occured. This change is essentially a whole new Path to me. Some of my past values have carried over, of course, but my outlook and spirituality has changed drastically.

It is interesting that the last event to occur was nothing more than reading a book. The book I am referring to is Celestine Prophecy. The very fact that a 'fiction' novel has changed my life is proof that no 'tool' should ever be overlooked. When I am speaking of tools I mean the things we use to learn and study. People need to challenge themselves. They need to stop the spoonfeeding of knowledge, because it is only stagnating us!

Anyway, this is a very good thread idea. I know I am not the only one facing great changes right now.

:D

[Mithrea]

Originally posted by mol
Anyway, this is a very good thread idea.

Actually I got the idea from your last post in the thread on Hell. :)

Now I think I'm going to read Celestine Prophecy because I haven't yet. Err, yeah, when I get a little free time :)

[FLipsiDE]

There have been a couple books that have really opened my eyes or made me question things.

Das Energie (Although I think it's a bit silly now, I loved it when i was 16)
Tao Te Ching (rocks)

but my absolute favorite is James P. Carse's "Finite and Infinite games". It's one of the few books I've read more than once and there was a time where I had extra copies floating around that i would give people.

Too bad it reads like stereo instructions. I still love it.

My Aunt and my Dad have also had a lot of influence on my choice of paths... as have a few people of both Pagan and mainstream religions.

[Theres]

here's some strange synchronicity for ya FLipsiDE...

i was cleaning out a bunch of stuff from the dreaded 'backroom' just yesterday, and one item was a box of stuff that i moved here in '92, but that i hadn't looked in for probably 7 years before that. and in amongst all the junk that didn't need to be kept was a dog-eared copy of 'Das Energi'.
i hadn't thought of that book in decades, and here it is twice in two days!
maybe i'll put it aside.

and now back to your regularly schedueled programming...

[Rainx]

The first ones that come to mind are

a) miscarrying and depression == me renouncing spirituality entirely
b) aset whispering in my ear == me starting to study ancient egypt (yeah I decided belief was crap, but YOU try to ignore an ancient Goddess' demands)
c) hearing/seeing spirits, warning dreams == me realizing ok maybe this isn't all crap :D

Really it hasn't been so much books as experiences and energies. Right now there's a great active vibe happening.

[Rainx]

and btw, quite OT, but Greenman... AIM?

[Duhkha]

It wasn't even a week ago when I started this thread and with everything that's happened to me since then, it seems like 1,000 years ago. Time flies when you are in spiritual crisis :p

Mith

[Rainx]

More recently, I picked up amberlaine's book (Philosophy of Wicca). I haven't considered myself Wiccan in years, but I knew she'd written it so it'd be a good read, even if it wasn't really applicable to my practice. At the same time, spring has sprung here, and the long winter has finally given way to beautiful weather and the animals that bask in it - wild geese, ducks, foxes, deer, and various birds such as owls, hawks, bluejays, woodpeckers, cardinals, and so on. The last vestiges of winter are melting, filling the fields with shiny lakes, and each morning the fog lays over the land offering a sense of mystery and magic.

So I'd have to explain my most recent (within the past few days) spiritual growth as a result of a) the weather and b) amber's book, combined. Her words bring the divine out to the physical, as does the environment around me. I realized I didn't have to struggle to "believe" anything right now, or to classify myself, to know the divine around me.

[Duhkha]

The weather has been making me feel different too.

I revamped my altar over the weekend to include new concepts I've recently been studying. I'm almost finished with The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels and believe that nothing is going to be the same anymore.


<insert anxiety here>

[Rainx]

Why anxious?

[Duhkha]

Haha. You replied so fast I thought the "last post" thing was messed up.

Anxious

. . . because I fear not knowing things as much as love learning them.
. . . because a fundamental change in me changes so much more than just who I am. It changes how I do things; how I treat people, work, my studies, my writing; my place in all of my relationships; and my purpose. It's a whole lot of change to go through at once for someone who is stubborn and inflexible.
. . . because I'm not sure what will happen when I get to the other side of whatever *this* is.
. . . because there isn't enough money to buy books and there isn't enough time to read them all. :p


I'm not ignoring your pm, I just have to get home before I reply. :)
. . .

[Rainx]

Ah the PM is just a suggestion anyway :)

Lately my biggest problem is not knowing what I believe. :D That's pretty unsettling.

[Duhkha]

Actually I think I phase in and out of knowing what I believe and not knowing what I believe, which is probably normal. It's like when you learn something new, you have to adjust everything you already know. Right now, it's like things I thought I believed before but set aside are back and I feel like the universe is giving me one giant whack over the head after the other and I can't keep up.

In Tradition and the Individual Talent, T.S. Eliot talks about the literary canon like every work is this giant monument and when a new monument comes along, all of the other monuments rearrange to accomodate it. That's where I am right now. All my monmuments are shifting! :lol:

So um yeah, that's exactly what I meant by anxiety . . . I'm unsettled.

[Rainx]

*nods* In my case it's a whole lot of different theologies and systems that seem logical but nothing *clicking* in as what I believe.

One day I could be a Satanist and the next a Wiccan, or a Chaote, or a Thelemite, and so on. I'm trying to find what I feel rather then what just makes sense.

[Duhkha]

Originally posted by Rainx
*nods* In my case it's a whole lot of different theologies and systems that seem logical but nothing *clicking* in as what I believe.

I understand this feeling probably more than you know.

On another note, I think the the economic and political situation of where I live is affecting my path too. I can't exactly say how but it's making me reevaluate my priorities.

[Psyche Ague]

I was roman catholic until the age of 15 when I started seriously questioning my beliefs. I never really believed in the catholic faith or in jesus christ and my mom can remember me being 3 years old and sobbing late at night next to her in bed about how I was afraid of dying. I found no comfort in the thought of heaven and even made a joke out of it, asking my father if my personal heaven could be "Ren and Stimpy" episodes playing 24 hours a day everyday. My only comfort was when I spoke with my grandmother about reincarnation. When she passed away nearly 2 years ago, I inherited the tarot cards I didn't know she had...

I first heard about Wicca and Witchcraft here and there but - and don't laugh too hard at me ;) - mostly on "Buffy." The thought really appealed to me and I found out that my friend, Chris, was Wiccan. He lent me some of his books and I read them like there was no tomorrow. He encouraged me to pick up Scott Cunningham's books and I realized that this is what I'd believed all along. It was like coming home.

After taking a job at an "occult" shop a block from my house when I was 16, I read Margot Adler's Drawing Down the Moon and realized I was not truly Wiccan, though I still considered myself a Pagan. I fully loved and believed in the Goddess Gaia and the holiness and sanctity of Mother Earth.

When I was 17, I read a book that altered my views (once again, don't laugh!): The Idiot's Guide to Buddhism. I borrowed it from a friend and read it cover to cover, loving what I read. I have since picked up numerous books on Buddhism and Taoism and realized that those views fit my life philosophy. I then considered myself a Buddhist. I discovered the joys of meditation, Eastern Thought, and hatha yoga and began practicing. I found an inner peace that I had been lacking.

Meeting my current boyfriend, a devout Elemental Druid, has only confirmed my faith in my belief and although my Buddhist Pagan path is different from his, we follow the same Goddess and revere Her Earth.

There is, of course, more to my story, but those minor details flesh out the major transitions of my path to where I am today: a Delighted Buddhist Pagan with an element affinity to Water - a true Daughter of Gaia.

[Duhkha]

Psyche, I'm not laughing. I bought the Idiot's Guide to Buddhism a few weeks ago. I had studied it years ago in school and not thought much about it then. In the Gen Ed class I teach, another professor lectured on Buddhism and it was like everything started clicking. One concept after another. I drove straight to the bookstore after class and bought that book and one other--I mentioned it earlier in this thread--The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels. As it turns out, she connects Gnosticism to Eastern Philosophies like Buddhism in the Introduction. It turned out to be the path changing book for me and I don't know why I picked it up because it was the Buddhism I was after . . . annnyway </ramble> :)

[Psyche Ague]

Originally posted by Duhkha

Psyche, I'm not laughing. I bought the Idiot's Guide to Buddhism a few weeks ago. I had studied it years ago in school and not thought much about it then. In the Gen Ed class I teach, another professor lectured on Buddhism and it was like everything started clicking. One concept after another. I drove straight to the bookstore after class and bought that book and one other--I mentioned it earlier in this thread--The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels. As it turns out, she connects Gnosticism to Eastern Philosophies like Buddhism in the Introduction. It turned out to be the path changing book for me and I don't know why I picked it up because it was the Buddhism I was after . . . annnyway </ramble> :)
*chuckles* Ramble away! That's what my entire post was, after all. ;)

I just love the way "Idiot's Guide..." is laid out: everything is so easy to see, easy to find...it really was a nice way of easing myself into it. I've read other books since then (mostly in weird, foreign titles ;)), but that was perfect to start me out.

*makes a mental note to check out Elaine Pagels*

[~ Monk ~]

I have to say the internet has had a profound impact on my spiritual path - I can honestly say that without it I might never have found myself where I am today. Believe it or not (and this will probably sound stupid), it was my visit to a chat room when I was first getting online years ago that led me to my path. It's amazing how a seemingly innocuous event can turn out to be so important.

When I first got online I did what a lot of people do - checked out chat rooms. I remember coming across one called "Pagan Tea Room", or something similar to that. I had no idea what it was but popped in for a bit anyway. I remember reading the discussion that was going on in there and finding it very interesting - among other things, they were chatting about candles and magickal use. I'd always loved candles and was really interested in finding out more about what they were saying, but never did follow up on it...

...until about 5 years later. I was sitting down to do some work on the computer and decided to light a candle. Suddenly I had a flashback to that whole chat room discussion, and decided to follow up on it when I was done working. I was up the rest of the night (and morning :D) as my searches about candles and magick eventually led me to sites about Wicca and Paganism, and it all exploded from there. I was amazed that I had never read or heard about all of these things before, and got that familiar "coming home" feeling. It's a night/morning I'll never forget.


Originally posted by mol
The very fact that a 'fiction' novel has changed my life is proof that no 'tool' should ever be overlooked.

So very true. I'd have never imagined an AOL chat room would mean that much to me down the road, and though I wouldn't consider it a tool, it was definitely a guidepost.

[Rainx]

for me it was Yahoo's directory that got me into Wicca & Witchcraft one night while I was looking through occult stuff.

That'd be... 5 or 6 years ago now.. :)

[Ravens_Tears]

Originally posted by Rainx

*nods* In my case it's a whole lot of different theologies and systems that seem logical but nothing *clicking* in as what I believe.

One day I could be a Satanist and the next a Wiccan, or a Chaote, or a Thelemite, and so on. I'm trying to find what I feel rather then what just makes sense.

This I understand very well:)

[mol]

Originally posted by Rainx
I'm trying to find what I feel rather then what just makes sense.

Sometimes they are one and the same.

[mol]

Originally posted by Rainx

for me it was Yahoo's directory that got me into Wicca & Witchcraft one night while I was looking through occult stuff.

That'd be... 5 or 6 years ago now.. :)

My inability to just 'believe' what I had been taught for so many years really started me down this road.

And it has been a long road filled with potholes that I dug myself.

[Rainx]

Originally posted by mol

Sometimes they are one and the same.

I agree. I would hazard a guess that on a spiritual level what spiritually "clicks" is more important then what logically "makes sense". So if it "clicks" it "makes sense", but it "makes sense" doesn't necessarily mean it "clicks".

If that makes sense :)

[Ravens_Tears]

Makes perfect sense!:D

[mol]

Originally posted by Rainx

If that makes sense :)

Perfectly!

I lived my life totally 'Knowing' that it was based on a supreme level of 1's and 0's. Logic! Nowadays I opt for more spiritually and emotionally charged decisions.

If that makes sense! :p