Past Life Reading ~ danustouch

[redheadwitch]

ok, here is your reading. i wanted you to know about the stones i picked for the reading, though. i usually pick little 'helpers'...
yours were: hematite * tiger's eye * clear quartz crystal
dont' know if that matters to you, but i thought i needed to tell you!

here it is....
Queen of Swords: you then:
in this past life you were a nun or a monk. you originally went to the convent to escape something (someone who had hurt you and was after you physically, or having a baby out of wedlock, might be both!) this was a really difficult situation you were in for the times (i'm thinking 1300 or 1400's) so you were pretty stressed out when you first went there, and very afraid. but several of the sisters there took good care of you and helped you to get into a system. this ended up to be a really good thing for you, the structure of this life was something you needed, and the hope of god's love also. i'm thinking you were from a really poor family, and they weren't really loving, and this place offered you so much support and hope.
you loved meal time. you were so thankful and felt so safe, and provided for. it's like you would sit down at the table and just glow, even if it was a bowl of watery soup and nothing else. you were grateful.
i also think you were beautiful, and this bothered one or more of the sisters with more authority. they looked at your beauty as something you were doing wrong. like it was your fault, and you were beautiful cause of something you did wrong. they scolded you and punished you and made life difficult for you because of it. trying to "purge out" the beauty in you, because surely you were vain from it. you weren't, you were this scared little being, who just wanted to live.

The Hermit: your life:
once you got to the convent, that was it. the rest of your life was god's. you earnestly studied, loved your time alone in silence, and often went off to do chores out in nature.
again, i think the harshness of some of the nuns frightened you at first, and you thought you'd done wrong...so went off to repent.

2 of Wands: your surroundings:
the area you lived in was beautiful. i want to say somewhere in northern europe...don't know where. you loved the outdoors...loved the sunsets, the hills, trees, herbs and bushes, the whole landscape was a dream for you. it was so much prettier than where you'd grown up. and peaceful...you left some really dangerous and scary places and people. ***(note to self to send you pm re: readings)
the bible was important to you, but so were other documents, of scriptures, other religions, pagan ways. you were interested in spiritual matters in general, and didn't rule anything out. this was also because of your rough background...it didn't make any sense to reject something that might be valid. you also got visions at times, and they would give you headaches, or make you light headed, physically hot, or made you glow.

Wheel of Fortune: your relationships:
ok, there were people who adored you. they wanted to talk with you and get your perspective, laugh with you, read with you. your views were very important. then there were those who hated you, the mothers, and they would shut you up every minute they could. they thought some of your beliefs were blasphemous, and you got in trouble alot, were whipped, starved, had your hair cut repeatedly. you also believed in astrology and signs, and this accidentally got leaked, and you took a BIG punishment for that one.
the stuff they did to you was cruel, immoralizing, and basically torture. i'm not sure why you stayed...but you really did love it there. hmmmm...perhaps you were a little mentally deficient? no i'm kidding, you just were on such a spiritual high, i think you were able to dissociate from your physical body when they were punishing you, and just walk around in your spiritual body, & not notice the physical body. this seems right...it seems like one of your girlfriends there often saw you when you were "out of body" and she always laughed and had a good time with that. the mean sisters didn't know that was going on, but they couldn't figure out why you never minded the punishments or never changed your ways.

3 of Coins: your death:
you and this one friend from the convent went on some journey for some reason. i think you might have been going into the village for supplies, or off looking for something somewhere. now, in your heart, i think you knew you were going to die on this journey, but you weren't afraid. however, when the time came, your friend was really afraid. i think it was burglers, or some bad guys along the way that killed you two. no idea why, or what they did. but you helped her along, i think you literally had to DRAG her out of her body to come with you. otherwise she would have been a ghost wandering around, cause she really didn't understand, wasn't ready for it. you helped her cross over. you were really spiritually becoming a guide in your body, and death only meant time for more learning.

Knight of Wands: is this life affecting you now?
yeah. you are doing the same thing now. you are already going on to the next level in your body NOW. this seems like it's not supposed to happen, but our thinking is remarkably limited. so you are already in the process of morphing into a future you or new life...the life you live on this earth will be very different from what most people are used to.
you still seem to have that passion...that ability to tune out others' concerns and do what you need to for your growth.

2 of Coins: fears you have carried over:
this doesn't really concentrate on the fears. any fears you have carried over are being shown to you, and are being useful on your path. you will face them and move past them, and they will have lessons for you. you will see them as friends, and teachers, not as things to overcome.

8 of Coins: challenge/goal:
one challenge may be in normalcy. you have this old soul that is amazing, and how do you live with it in this tiny, human body? so little things may confuse you, or you may forget how to do things often. you're likely just not accustomed to being restricted by a physical body. ( i think you must have been on the other side for quite a while!)
so you may have to concentrate on being in your body, and enjoying the now, instead of wanting to be out in the universe playing. :)

6 of Cups: talents you have carried over:
well i think you are able to see the beauty in people, no matter how yucky they treat others. you also have the same tenacity, the ability to rise from difficult beginnings, and finish in a blaze of glory. you understand that you have both sides: the beggar and the princess. clothing comes up here, not sure why, do you sew? design?
don't know if this will make sense to you: you have something about your leg that is connected to a man...like you were kicked, or injured by a guy, or ... i don't know... hope you do.
also, you carried over the ability to talk to nature, spirits, especially stars are coming up.
can you communicate with stars, or the star people, or something along that line?

Devil: summary:
you are all about shedding falseness. people think in little tiny squares of understanding, and you are one of those who thinks differently, or will learn how. you may have a part in the future, helping to change the way others perceive life. your life is about changing, opening up to new possibilities, shedding old thinking, standing out in the crowd, communicating what you want to with strength. you may re-experience what you did at the convent; some following you, and others opposing you. but it seems you need to share your ideas and views, whatever the consequence.


i hope this made sense to you, but let me know either way!
blessings!! red:)

[Danustouch]

Wow Redhead! That was absolutely amazing! I'm going to try to reply about how that all was so right on.
Yes..by the way..the stones are appropriate. They are three of my five favorite stones!

1. Nun or Monk----This is SO interesting. You may not know it, but before finding Paganism, in this life, I was a born again Christian, and felt a calling to the ministry. Specifically, a calling to minister to youth. In my church, I led the YouthGroup. Sang in Choir, Wrote articles for the newsletter, even gave sermons on occasion. When it came time to "plan my future"....I went off to Eastern Nazarene College, as a Youth Ministry Major. ENC is kind of a Pre-theological seminary school...at least in their religious studies department. There were two major reasons why I think I felt called to Youth Ministry. The first, is that in my younger teen years, I was a bit of a rebel...a troubled teen. I was fairly promiscuous, and carried alot of guilt around because of it. Because at the time, I did believe in the Bible, I felt that this "Sinful" nature was very evil, and I think I hoped that the more I threw myself into religious studies, and the more I tried to lead a "Christian Life", the less guilty I would feel, and the less temptation I would feel. Basically...I was running from "myself". The truth is..sexuality was part of my nature. I was trying to repress it, and trying to escape it. When really, what I had to learn, was that it was normal to feel the feelings I was feeling, and not to carry around guilt or shame because of who I was. The second reason, was that I wanted to help other teens who were going through the same problems as I had..... As for choosing a college that was away from home, this, is because I was trying to escape my neurotic parents.


2. Beauty- This is something I struggle with, here in THIS life. I am constantly displeased with my appearance. I wasn't born beautiful in THIS incarnation, that much is for sure. So all of my greatest issues in life, have been because of low self esteem, because of my appearance. Oddly though, instead of working on it on a regular basis, I neglect myself often....I don't mean that I'm not cleanly (I think two baths a day counts as cleanly), but that I am overweight, and I let my hair grow wild and untame most of the time. Don't pay attention to my nails, and such, nor do I wear make up every day. In THIS life, I have been awfully ridiculed for my looks. For everything from my "bubble butt" (which no matter how thin I was, ALWAYS stood out) to my large lips (kim bassinger has nothin' on me. Kids used to tease me awfully about them in school), and more. So It's almost a reversal....

3. Being Alone- In this life, being alone is both my greatest fear, AND my biggest blessing. I LOVE to read, always have. As a child, and teen, I was very much a loner. Even separating myself from the chaos of my homelife, of my parents, and often locking myself in my room to read for hours, and hours. If I wasn't found in my room, reading, I was walking in a park, or sitting by the pond in the cemetery near our home, writing poetry, reading a book, or feeding the ducks, and thinking.

4. Not sure about the Northern Europe thing. I've always felt connected to Ireland, Scotland, and Wales though. Hmmmm... Have family roots from Germany, and Lithuania though... But..no matter. Yes, I have always felt at peace when in nature. Breathtaking landscapes have always given me the most intense feeling of serenity! I'm the most "myself" when out in nature.

5. Interest in the Bible and MORE- YES YES YES! When I tell people how I found Wicca, I tell them this very fact. That even when I was VERY dedicated to Christianity on some levels, I always remained open to other religions as well. I was always fascinated by the occult, and metaphysics. I was always fascinated by world cultures, and religions, and often saw beauty in them, trying to connect THEIR beliefs, with similarities to Christianity.

6. Visions- I hate saying this, because it sounds conceited. But I honestly don't mean it to. Even from childhood, I have always been very psychic. Unfortunately, always about everyone elses life but my own. I've always been empathic, and have always gotten flashes of peoples pasts, their thoughts, or their futures. If I ignore these flashes, and don't mention them, I often get terrible headdaches. And, I always KNOW that it is a vision, because I start to feel lightheaded when it is happening. For that reason, reading Tarot Cards, leaves me absolutely drained at the end of an evening. As soon as I'm done, I head right to bed, and I don't wake up until around 11 am the next morning. Most nights, I sleep very little, and very restlessly. But on nights when I read, I'm nearly comatose!

7. The "Love/Hate" Conditions- This has always been the story of my life. In my life, there have always been those who have been drawn to me. And then there have been SO many who were incredibly oppositional to me. I had three astrological charts done. And ALL of them said that I am meant to be a teacher, or spiritual leader. That I am a revolutionary, and that when I talk, people listen. The problem is, that sometimes, they don't always listen with a favorable disposition. There are those who do, and they remain very close friends. Others, HATE my opinions, and are infuriated by them on a regular basis. Even my parents. I was always quite the "blacksheep"of the family. Nobody in my family could understand the way I thought. Where they were racist, I wasn't. Where they were "cradle christians" (meaning, only because it was the faith of their parents. Not because they examined it) I was either an evangelical christian, or NOW, a Pagan. No matter WHAT I do..it seems it is always differen't from what they would like. And they have repeatedly tried to "shut me up". And there are many others who are like that.

8. Punishment for alternative thinking: Wow..this one jumped off the page at me. When I was a Christian, and attended youth camp, the leaders of the group had a very strange reaction to me. On one level, they loved me to pieces, and were constantly commenting that I had wisdom beyond my years. On the OTHER hand, I would mention things such as Native American Wisdom, or use the phrase "good luck" or mention astrology, and would get reamed a new hole for it. "That is blasphemous. Be not of the world. Have no idols. There is only one God" etc. They just couldn't quite get a handle on me, I think. I was a complex kid. The same pattern repeated itsself in college. Only this time, from my peers. I didn't quite fit the mould. I questioned everything. I took nothing as an absolute. I pondered very deep questions, and because of this, very early on in my college education, became somewhat shunned by my peers. This college, was a mill for cookies, if you know what I mean. There were very absolute idea's on what it meant to be Christian, and "saved" and what it meant to be a sinner. And the lines were never blurry to them. But they were ALWAYS blurry to me. Because of this, they constantly tried to "steer me back" to the "right path". Correct my thinking, correct my "ways", and when that, too, failed...I was shunned. My last semester in college, was not too far from mental torture.........

9. Death. Death has always been an odd subject for me. On the one hand, I have NEVER been afraid of my own death. Painful death, yes. But..death in general, no. I have a great aversion to pain. However, I have always felt that when my time comes, to die, I will be ready. I have always been ready. I was a very sickly child, and the doctors really didn't expect that I would make it to adulthood. Even my mother confesses that she didn't think i would, either. For this reason, I think that death has never been a very great fear for me. I made my peace with it, long ago. On the other hand, I fear those around me dying. And I fear causing the death of others (which is why I never got my drivers liscense. My greatest fear is not that I will die, but rather, that I will hit someone else in a car, and kill THEM). So...when you said that part about helping someone who didn't understand death, that it happened to suddenly, and I helped her cross... that made sense. The thought that I could cause someones death so suddenly, has always been my greatest fear. I would never want to do that to a spirit.

10. my "Future" Life- Yes..this is a great time of transition for me. I think both on this plane, and the next. I can't explain all of it, except that I feel that what I am doing now, to create a better future for my life on THIS plane, will ultimately effect what happens in my next life, as well. And I have ALWAYS taken the path less traveled. I have always been a difficult person for people to understand, or get a grasp on. I've been told more than once, to get my head out of the clouds, to take a "reality check", and such. And I think it is often because I am often straddling this reality, and another. This world, and the next. And I've always forged my own path. Always did what I felt was right, often against the "advice" or opinions of others.

11. "Accepting Abuse". This was so incredibly odd. In my life, I have often been a victim of abuse. The odd thing is, that I often didn't even realize it. Even when I HAVE realized it, I accepted it. And wouldn't break out of the situation. People shake their heads at me all the time, and ask me how I can put up with the crap that I put up with. And I've never been able to provide them with an answer. It's not that I feel I deserve it..I know I deserve "better". My greatest problem, has always been that I have seen the "beauty" in others..even the monsters. By this, I mean that I could always see WHY they did the things that they did. How they became the way that they were. I saw their brokenness, their failings, their pain, and I think I always wanted to stay in the situations, to HELP them. This is a HUGE lesson for me. Right now, I'm learning that I CANT always help them. I can't change people. I can only change myself. And I cant always stay in abusive situations, just hoping that I can "fix" the pain of others. I'm learning it...albeit very slowly..and with a GREAT deal of pain.

12. Being restricted by my physical body: Hah! ohhhhhhhh yes. I'm the type of person who doesn't look before I leap. I worry constantly about the future...because I'm always looking ten steps into the future, instead of dealing with the present.

13. The Leg- ALL of my injuries, with the exception of ONE burn, have almost always been to my leg. I have a scar on my leg from stitches. I've sprained my ankle in the same leg three times. AND I have what they call "restless leg syndrom" cramping, and involuntary muscle spasms in my legs. Part of the reason that I usually have such trouble sleeping, is my legs, in fact. And whenever it is cold, I suffer severe pain in them.

14. Talking to Nature- YES! My husband calls me Mrs.Dr. Doolittle. I have always believed I could talk to animals. And I converse regularly with my cats. And yes..they answer me back. I am absolutely sure that they understand every word I say. And I'm pretty sure that I almost always understand what THEY are saying, as well. I've actually considered becoming a pet psychologist. As for speaking to spirits. Yes. I can Channell. As for the Star people....I'm not sure. Perhaps that is what I call spirits. I've often said that it would be nice, if when we all died, we became stars in the heavens.

This all made perfect sense. I cannot thank you enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[redheadwitch]

ok, i told you that i felt such a strong connection to you...
well, i'm serious, we could be twins! i have to comment on your comments and show you how connected we seem to be.
and i can't wait to post the other reading...i'm curious if that will be a life that makes sense to you or not.

Nun or Monk----This is SO interesting. You may not know it, but before finding Paganism, in this life, I was a born again Christian
* me too. i was hard core, pray for the lost, go on missions trips girl until about age 25.

In my church, I led the YouthGroup. Sang in Choir, Wrote articles for the newsletter, even gave sermons on occasion.
* hee hee...me too...church musicals, skits, youth group leader, college groups, intensive bible study groups, i've been on 2 missions trips to other countries

The first, is that in my younger teen years, I was a bit of a rebel...a troubled teen. I was fairly promiscuous, and carried alot of guilt around because of it.
* here i am same/different...i was a horn-dogger...i have the libido of a guy! but because i grew up thinking sex was "evil" before marriage, i tried so hard to hold out (i didn't have sex till i was 28!!) but i messed around alot and felt horrible guilt for that.

I hoped that the more I threw myself into religious studies, and the more I tried to lead a "Christian Life", the less guilty I would feel, and the less temptation I would feel.
* me too, i was trying so hard to be a "good little girl" and just kept failing! i would wear skirts to church that went down to my knees, and people would tell me i shouldn't wear them cause i looked to sexy. i just ooze sexuality, and the church was pretty freaked out about it

The second reason, was that I wanted to help other teens who were going through the same problems as I had.....
* i have this same feeling, not necessarily for teens. i want to express myself about things, in hopes that i can voice things that others feel as well.

As for choosing a college that was away from home, this, is because I was trying to escape my neurotic parents.

* yeah, i went clear across the country getting away from my dad!

* oh, and i had a past life as a nun also, a psychic told me a little about it, but not much.

. Beauty- This is something I struggle with, here in THIS life. I am constantly displeased with my appearance.
* same here. i am actually pretty cute, but i never think i am. and then i've gained weight since my accident, so really felt ugly.
i have struggled with wanting to be perfect, and all that, my whole life. first time i remember thinking i was overweight was age 5.

In THIS life, I have been awfully ridiculed for my looks. For everything from my "bubble butt" (which no matter how thin I was, ALWAYS stood out) to my large lips (kim bassinger has nothin' on me. Kids used to tease me awfully about them in school), and more. So It's almost a reversal....
* as far as this goes, i have to say....J.Lo is ADORED for her butt, and Michelle Pfieffer - i think one of the most gorgeous women on the planet - was picked on for her lips as a kid too. don't treat yourself so hard! :)

Being Alone- In this life, being alone is both my greatest fear, AND my biggest blessing.
* god, creepy! me too! i never seem to have a boyfriend, i'm a little threatening, i think. too much passion about all things life.
and i love my time with me... i also read a lot as a kid, poetry, songs, and wrote in my diaries non-stop. yet i really want someone to share my life with, and i'm hyper afraid that my sister (best friend and roomy)
will walk across the street to the store and get kidnapped. i'm ridiculously paranoid about that stuff.

I've always felt connected to Ireland, Scotland, and Wales though.
* more freakage: me too. my family is actually from Wales (way back in the roots) and i love green rolling hills and landscapes...makes me sooo peaceful. my "happy place" when i meditate is a park like area, all green grass and trees. i love ireland and england, can't say Lithuania, but i just found out our family is Czekoslavakian as well.

Interest in the Bible and MORE- YES YES YES! When I tell people how I found Wicca, I tell them this very fact. That even when I was VERY dedicated to Christianity on some levels, I always remained open to other religions as well. I was always fascinated by the occult, and metaphysics.
* i think we are of the same soul group. i was really interested in astrology as a kid, and i used to do mind reading games with my friend. i've always been psychic too, though turned it off when i was growing up, cause no one understood me, and my dad scared me with all his demon talk. but around high school age or so, i would ask others about purgetory, or other beliefs, and how do we know they aren't true. never went over well.

I have always been very psychic.
* this doesn't sound conceited, just factual. actually, i'll find this book title for you, and you can read about this study on psychics...i think you fit the profile really well.
this is me too...i always knew if someone was sick, or could give advice to people when i was 12, or whether my mom should trust this salesman. i often have noticed that if i don't "speak" something that i feel someone needs to know, i get really hot until i say it. my head is on fire, and my chest pounds.

I often get terrible headdaches. And, I always KNOW that it is a vision, because I start to feel lightheaded when it is happening. For that reason, reading Tarot Cards, leaves me absolutely drained at the end of an evening. As soon as I'm done, I head right to bed, and I don't wake up until around 11 am the next morning.
* i want to think about this. i'm sure there is something you can do to regulate your energy so this doesn't happen so severely...
and hematite may be a big help for that...don't let me forget to deal w/this issue...

The "Love/Hate" Conditions- This has always been the story of my life. In my life, there have always been those who have been drawn to me. And then there have been SO many who were incredibly oppositional to me.
* i have this situation: i have a lot of people who think i am fun...but whenever i try to improve something - at work, family issues, etc - and i want to offer an opinion, i am viewed as controversial. i think of things and see things in a very different way than others (says my sis) and for some reason i am seen as threatening when i present my view.

. Others, HATE my opinions, and are infuriated by them on a regular basis. Even my parents. I was always quite the "blacksheep"of the family. Nobody in my family could understand the way I thought.
* totally me. it was like i spoke in colors and they spoke in English. i never really made sense. my mom told me she used to hear me crying in my room and would walk away, she didn't know how to help me.

And they have repeatedly tried to "shut me up". And there are many others who are like that.
* this is true of me as well. i have experienced some share of abuse, and when i have written poetry about it, people want to shut me up, pretend it isn't being mentioned, etc.

Punishment for alternative thinking: Wow..this one jumped off the page at me. When I was a Christian, and attended youth camp, the leaders of the group had a very strange reaction to me. On one level, they loved me to pieces, and were constantly commenting that I had wisdom beyond my years. On the OTHER hand, I would mention things such as Native American Wisdom, or use the phrase "good luck" or mention astrology, and would get reamed a new hole for it.
* i have had this forever! :) i ask questions about intense passages, reincarnation, evolution, and some people would be "we just have to believe...we will find all the answers when we see him face to face". and i was like "what?!" and some people - even my friends - would get really heated and mad when i asked questions... like it was shaking their faith. especially when i questioned sexuality, homosexuality, stuff like that. all of the time i was a xian (5-27ish) i only found one friend that i felt i could really be me with, and i didn't have to hide my questions or passions or interests in life.


I have always been ready.
* this is the only thing that seems different. i was sickly too as a kid, though not life threatening. but i always thought i would die young. i never thought i would make it as far as i have, and i was actually suicidal a number of times in my youth. so in a way, i was at my own peace with death, and didnt' ever expect to live.

my greater fear of the two is probably that my loved ones will die, and i will have to go on alone without them.

My greatest problem, has always been that I have seen the "beauty" in others..even the monsters. By this, I mean that I could always see WHY they did the things that they did. How they became the way that they were. I saw their brokenness, their failings, their pain, and I think I always wanted to stay in the situations, to HELP them.

* bingo. i have been hurt and abused by a number of people...
and though i have anger about that, i can also empathize with the people. i have learned how to better protect myself and set boundaries, but i can often still see why the "bad person" did these "bad things". i think we are all really connected, and i can understand their pain.
but yes, we can't fix them, and are better off praying or sending light to them than putting ourselves at risk.

. Being restricted by my physical body
* my issue with body is that im often out of it instead of in!

** i am completely amazed at how similar we are in this reading!
now, the other reading ending up being mafia, i don't know if you have a connection with that or not, but i'll post it to see.
wow. no wonder you were so easy to pick up on!!!