"You're too quiet!"

[~ Monk ~]

I get this all the time from people at work.

I freely admit I'm not a social butterfly, but judging from the way people comment about it you'd think there was something wrong with me. I have no problem having or holding a conversation but I don't go out of my way to find one. Nor do I have any interest in hearing about co-workers various ailments or the latest illness their kids have (just the day a person was describing for me, in detail, how her daughter was throwing up all night and in particular how her body was "convulsing"...while I was trying to eat my lunch :sick: ).

Personally I find it amusing. Anyone else hear similar comments? How do you respond to it?

[Chibi-Fallon]

Most people just think it's odd that someone doesn't want social interaction. Humans are social creatures, it kinda weirds people out if you don't talk. It makes them wonder if you hate them or something.
I get told I'm to quiet but that's not because I don't talk enough it's just that I don't talk loud enough. At some point last year I got it into my head that I was too loud (when I wasn't) and got really quiet. Not that I started talking less (which might have been a better idea).:rolleyes:

[Ahautenites]

**rueful smile** I hear your pain. I got the same thing most days when I was in junior high and high school and half of college.

If I'm around people I don't know very well, I'm a total mouse. Heck, even in restaurants, I usually have trouble speaking up. But for me, it's not introspection. It's shyness.

Usually, if someone comments that I'm too quiet, I usually just raise my eyebrows, give them a small, enigmatic smile, and continue doing whatever it was I was doing.

As to having people confide weird things to me, yeah.... I get that all the time, too. Even people on the bus used to drive me nuts. It's like I was a walking, talking confessional. Tell all your sorry life story to Jenn. She's a great listener! **sighs** The world's sounding board is what I feel like, sometimes. (For friends, I don't mind doing this. But do I have to do it for complete strangers, too...?)

**shrugs** Both the "too quiet" and "sounding board" instances amuse me somewhat. But they also both really annoy me. The first one annoys me because, who are *they* to tell me that I don't talk enough? I talk as much as I feel is necessary and as much as it pleases me to do so. I'm supposed to cater to someone else's whim to speak just the right amount of words or smile just the right number of times or go out with just the right frequency? I don't think so.

The second one is only annoying when it's someone I could hardly care less about. I have enough on my plate just keeping myself on a more-or-less even keel and being there for my friends and family when they have problems.

**edited to add a comment**

I'm one of those antisocial people. **sweet smile** And yes, I do detest people, generally speaking. I prefer to be alone most of the time.

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by Shpongle

Personally I find it amusing. Anyone else hear similar comments? How do you respond to it?

Several years ago, my teacher told me - during one of those meetings with teacher-parent(s)-student - that I talked too little.

A few years later, I was told I talked too much.

Then I decided to just not give a damn.

I - like NeferSesemet - am antisocial, and in general, people annoy the heck out of me. If they have anything interesting to say (discussions about politics, religion, society, and science - for example) - fine. If not (gossip, their kids, idiots at work), I'd rather not hear.

If I'm comfortable around the people I'm with, I can talk forever. If I'm the least uncomfortable, I won't talk as much.

Unless I'm being the class clown. <3 that! ;)

[elvenlaurai]

Ya know, it's not that I'm too quiet, it's that you talk too much.
It could go either way. I could not talk enough for you, or you could talk too much for me.

anyhow, everyone also think's my name is Lucy, and that I give advice for a quarter. My name is not anything like Lucy....

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by elvenlaurai

Ya know, it's not that I'm too quiet, it's that you talk too much.

:lol:

[Dresden]

I've begun to suspect that I'm on a completely different level from most people I meet. I'm not saying I'm on a higher level than them, just a different one. They tend not to understand what I'm talking about when I speak. Or maybe, since I'm living in the UK, they're staring at me because my American accent freaks them out.

I don't like being out in public. I tend to need to stay home alone for 4 days or so after having been out in the city for just one day. I dislike most of the people I meet, and I don't talk much about myself with strangers anymore because I don't like being judged. I'm not at all a social butterfly, and I've got few but very close good friends.

[Semele]

Hey..you guys are all talking way too much!!

LOL!! I can go either way..if the people I am with prefere to yak about themselves I can listen with interest, as long as I am not busy. Or I can talk about my life if they are interested. I don't usually try to brag about my kids to non-parents..they just don't seem to have the interest that other Mommy's and Daddy's do..and that is fine.

I admit I am a yakker, but the important thing is I have the sense to know if someone doesn't wish to converse with me.

[Ahautenites]

**small smile** I tend to do most of my talking online. And amazingly enough, I don't post as much as what I normally would if I were in a better frame of mind overall. (I'd be yakking about twice as often as I do currently.)

[moriganstarr]

i find silence soothing. if i don't get enuff of it i get very edgy. i can relate to the iration of being yammerd at at work. my break is just that my break. it's a time for me to relax :) i don't feel that i am missing anything by being this way. sometimes i think people are afraid to be alone with themselves. afraid of what they might find. I think that's why i like animals so mutch, just my 2 cents. :)

[IsisErin]

Originally posted by NeferSesemet

**small smile** I tend to do most of my talking online.

I'm the same, my flatmates nag me about my 'lack of social contact' - I just get my social contact online, and if I want to ignore something someone's saying, all it takes is the back button.

[Regulus]

hehe, i wont lie, i'm an elitist stuck up snob. At least when it comes to the people i talk to. I don't enjoy socializing with just anyone. I have to talk to somebody of decent intelligence and with a larger vocab then the average narcoleptic gopher. Very rarely is there any exception, and thats only when i can feel a connection with the person really fast. I'm snobby, I have to come to terms with that *sob*. ...... ok i'm cool with it now.

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by regulus

hehe, i wont lie, i'm an elitist stuck up snob. At least when it comes to the people i talk to. I don't enjoy socializing with just anyone. I have to talk to somebody of decent intelligence and with a larger vocab then the average narcoleptic gopher.

Me too.

I feel sad when I browse the magazine section in the grocery store. All the magazines are for people with an IQ lower than the average fishstick. Gossip, gossip, porn, gossip. Teen magazines telling teenage girls "how to make HIM happy!".

It's even more sad that the magazine section reflects what the majority of the people wants.

It's not cool to be stupid!!

[materra]

I suspect if you all took the Meyers Briggs test you would come up introverted, not "anti social" . Introverts just do better on their own. Groups and parties make us tired. We need to be alone to get our energies back. Extroverted people persons drive us up a wall. Introverts like to talk to people but in a smaller setting about things that really interest us. We take our time about our opinions and what we like to do we can do alone or with a friend...

Extroverts gotta talk all the time, about anything, it doesn't really matter. Parties are their thing, cell phone addicts one and all. Cannot stand it if they cannot talk or are alone for any length of time. They adore crowds, malls and super sales.

We're all just fine, we fall into different scales and areas on this test... and employers like both types of folks for different reasons.
They often give a Meyers Briggs test for pre employment now days.

Oh and yeah, I am a major introvert...cannot stand just hanging out and talking to hear noise. Oh and I don't hang out with people who aren't intelligent or informed. Thus I hang out with a limited crowd.

[MammaStar]

I'll admit it. i talk to much. ESPECIALLY when I'm nerouvs. I just yak yak yak yak.....Eshallet on the other hand is the opposite. He NEVER talks. We've been together for nearly 3 1/2 years now and I don't think he's had a complete conversation with either of my brothers.

And I've talked to a few people here at MW on the phone...just ask them....I talk WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much. :lol:

[Thistle]

So many people seem to think if you're not exactly like they are, there must be something wrong with you.

I think silence is undervalued. Too many people talk too much. (And say too little.)

When I was in school, my mom used to be told "She doesn't talk much, but when she does, she says something thoughtful and well reasoned out." So what's wrong with that? Would people really rather hear a bunch of yap just for the sake of making noise? I wouldn't.

I like my own company. I'd rather have a few close friends than loads of acquaintances. When I feel like talking, I will, and when I don't, I won't, and I deal with "helpful" comments by ignoring them.

[Twig]

Than to open your mouth and remove All doubt." :D

Thank you grandpa- I still use that every chance I get:o :)

Yes even this Leo was a "Watcher" as I was growing up. Some are like that. I like to think it is easier to learn that way. ;)

Peace,
Twig
:elf:

[Dresden]

A Leo who doesn't talk ALL the time?

:eek: :bug:


:D

[Flaire-FireStar]

Originally posted by Shpongle

I get this all the time from people at work.

I freely admit I'm not a social butterfly, but judging from the way people comment about it you'd think there was something wrong with me. I have no problem having or holding a conversation but I don't go out of my way to find one. Nor do I have any interest in hearing about co-workers various ailments or the latest illness their kids have (just the day a person was describing for me, in detail, how her daughter was throwing up all night and in particular how her body was "convulsing"...while I was trying to eat my lunch :sick: ).

Personally I find it amusing. Anyone else hear similar comments? How do you respond to it?

Yep..I get it all the time from friends who DON"T SHUT UP. I can't get a word in edgewise, and they wonder why I don't say anything. ;)

Of course I don't tell them that....Just make up something like I don't say anything unless I have something REALLY important to say. :rolleyes: Blah

[~ Monk ~]

Originally posted by elvenlaurai

Ya know, it's not that I'm too quiet, it's that you talk too much.

There have been times that I've wanted to say this to people, in good fun, but I suspect it wouldn't come off that way.


Originally posted by AstraSkye

Several years ago, my teacher told me - during one of those meetings with teacher-parent(s)-student -
that I talked too little.

A few years later, I was told I talked too much.

Then I decided to just not give a damn.

When I was in grade school, I was unbelievably social. I would get up and walk around to kids' desks and just talk, to everyone. Every report card I got said the same thing: 'Good student, works hard, talks too much.' My parents were called in numerous times because I was seen as 'too sociable'. Then I was told by a speech therapist that I talked too fast. I certainly wouldn't blame those things for who I am today, especially since I'm quite happy with who I am, but sometimes I do wonder how much that sort of thing can affect a kid.


Originally posted by moriganstarr
sometimes i think people are afraid to be alone with themselves. afraid of what they might
find. I think that's why i like animals so mutch, just my 2 cents. :)

I think you're on to something. I know a few people who could use a little alone time, but would have a hard time surviving it.


Originally posted by regulus
I have to talk to somebody of decent intelligence and with a larger vocab then
the average narcoleptic gopher.

That line just cracked me up.:lol:


Originally posted by AstraSkye
I feel sad when I browse the magazine section in the grocery store. All the magazines are for people with an
IQ lower than the average fishstick. Gossip, gossip, porn, gossip. Teen magazines telling teenage girls "how
to make HIM happy!".

This is a part of the problem for me at work. I don't watch reality shows, I'm not into tabloid gossip, don't have any complaints about my girlfriend and I don't have any illnesses to discuss (nor would I discuss them if I did), so I'm automatically left out of 90% of the conversations here. Also I'm the only guy in my department, so small talk I could take part in like sports, video games, etc. just doesn't present itself. I have no problem listening to stories about kids, but I don't enjoy hearing about when they're sick.

Hmm. Too bad none of you are in Chicago. We could all hang out and be anti-social together...:T

[Gently Gazing Eyes]

I sometimes pretend to be a deaf-mute.. :D

[Gently Gazing Eyes]

Originally posted by Shpongle

There have been times that I've wanted to say this to people, in good fun, but I suspect it wouldn't come off that way.



When I was in grade school, I was unbelievably social. I would get up and walk around to kids' desks and just talk, to everyone. Every report card I got said the same thing: 'Good student, works hard, talks too much.' My parents were called in numerous times because I was seen as 'too sociable'. Then I was told by a speech therapist that I talked too fast. I certainly wouldn't blame those things for who I am today, especially since I'm quite happy with who I am, but sometimes I do wonder how much that sort of thing can affect a kid.



I think you're on to something. I know a few people who could use a little alone time, but would have a hard time surviving it.



That line just cracked me up.:lol:



This is a part of the problem for me at work. I don't watch reality shows, I'm not into tabloid gossip, don't have any complaints about my girlfriend and I don't have any illnesses to discuss (nor would I discuss them if I did), so I'm automatically left out of 90% of the conversations here. Also I'm the only guy in my department, so small talk I could take part in like sports, video games, etc. just doesn't present itself. I have no problem listening to stories about kids, but I don't enjoy hearing about when they're sick.

Hmm. Too bad none of you are in Chicago. We could all hang out and be anti-social together...:T

Antisocial social gatherings are awesome!

[Psyche Ague]

I get that sometimes...but anyone who knows me well would laugh at the suggestion of me being "too quiet." ;) I may not say a lot, but I like to think that when I do speak that it will have more value. I refuse to participate in small-talk and stuff like that. I have lots of friends and many more acquaintances, so I'm not lacking for company. I'm honestly more of a loner.

When someone (ALWAYS someone I don't know) says that I'm "so quiet," I'll just smile very tight-lipped at them and continue to say nothing. It always makes them a bit annoyed. For some reason, I really really like to do that to people. :D

[Dresden]

Hmm. Too bad none of you are in Chicago. We could all hang out and be anti-social together...

Chicago is my hometown, and I really miss it. I want to be antisocial in Chicago again...

[MammaStar]

Originally posted by Twig

Yes even this Leo was a "Watcher" as I was growing up. Some are like that. I like to think it is easier to learn that way. ;)

Peace,
Twig
:elf:

Well, I'm glad to know that Eshallet fits his Leo ways. That's what he says when I see him looking all around the restaurant/park/movie we're at. "I'm observing" is his answer.

[Gently Gazing Eyes]

Originally posted by Psyche Ague

I get that sometimes...but anyone who knows me well would laugh at the suggestion of me being "too quiet." ;) I may not say a lot, but I like to think that when I do speak that it will have more value. I refuse to participate in small-talk and stuff like that. I have lots of friends and many more acquaintances, so I'm not lacking for company. I'm honestly more of a loner.

When someone (ALWAYS someone I don't know) says that I'm "so quiet," I'll just smile very tight-lipped at them and continue to say nothing. It always makes them a bit annoyed. For some reason, I really really like to do that to people. :D

Small-talk is boring.. and yeh, the tight-lipped smile drives people crazy. :)

[Regulus]

and here i thought i was the only introverted leo. its funny, cause in large groups i am THE ANTI LEO but in a small group of friends i tend to be the typical leo. hmmmm, interesting. now i'm gonna have to take more psychology classes