Phoenix's Altar

[Bainidhe Dub]

*lights a candle and sits quietly*

Goddess, bless this altar with your loving light.

*sighs as a tear falls*

Please, Goddess give me and my family the strength to see Bubbie through this. He's a good dog, and my father loves him dearly, though I know when his time comes you will watch over him and take him to the Rainbow Bridge. Please bless Bubbie with your love and guide us to the solution that will cause the least amount of pain for everyone involved. And please help ease my father's heart - he blames so much on himself.

Thank you, Goddess, for the help and kindness of Bubbie's vet. The caring they've shown us during this time has been a blessing in of itself.

Please also take care of Hummer as Kathi is very sad that both he and Dinger have passed over in such a short period of time.

I would also like to say that I am grateful that Kallie feels so great today. I am also so very grateful that Custard has been in my life this past year.

Thank you, Goddess, for the things in our lives that help us grow as people. And thank you for our pets that love us no matter how difficult that road may be.

Blessings,
Phoenix

[Bainidhe Dub]

*lights a few candles, breathing in deeply the scent of her new lilac candles. Phoenix smiles at her two new statues, and rubs between the ears of the one, a pewter Bast.*

Thank you Goddess for reminding me that even though I may have a few problems or don't have a good day, it's the simple things in life that really matter. I very much like the new chair I have at work. *grins*

And I'd like to point out that dog whiskers at the end of the day are great to come home to every night. I know I don't appreciate them half as much as I should. Tessa and Custard also would like to ask you to pllllleeeeeeaaaaaasssee try to convince me (again) that it is my *very most importantest* job to scratch their bellies when I get home and that I can only stop when it's time for bed. *laughs* They seem to think that reading even one page of my book is a crime against them.

Also, Kathi likes her wishing pot very much. Good idea ;)

Blessings & Light,
Phoenix

[Bainidhe Dub]

*lights the candles on her altar and places a few carnations in a vase.*

Goddess, please keep those children safe in the Middle East. They are innocents and should not be put through a war they may or may not understand.

My small blessings of the day:
1. Making a cover for my BoS (thank you Muses!)
2. "Once More, With Feeling" was tonight's Bufy rerun (YAY!)
3. Bubba's doing great on his medication
4. No bills in the mail today (Wahooo! lol)

Blessings & light!

[Bainidhe Dub]

*Primps her new ivy plant happily as she places it on her altar*

Goddess thank you for the flowers you shower across the Earth each Spring. I've chosen my favorites-hyacinths & tulips-and I can never get over the simple beauty of them.

I hope I get that mint to grow. I've never had much of a green thumb when it gets right down to it-which I find disturbing somewhat. SO..... *laughs*

Thank you for the most loving and funny dog in the world. Every day Custard does something to make me laugh. I love her expressive eyes and those ears! lol. Goddess, you made the perfect creature when you made the noble Basset. *applauds*

Enough of the chitchat.

Goddess, please comfort the families of our soldiers killed in the Middle East. The soldier from Bloomington, IL. really hit a nerve. So close and still... well you know. I wonder if Brandon is over there. If he is, protect him as much as you can. Despite the problems my ex and I have, Brandon and his parties were the highlights of my life during that time.

I know I sound redundant-but please make this short and sweet. Let the Iraqi soldiers continue to surrender quickly and peacefully as possible.

Blessings & light

[Bainidhe Dub]

Well my Spring cleaning is done Goddess and I am very proud with the progress I made lol. I've never been so organized!

I know you were with me while we were watching the news this weekend and I know you're comforting our soldiers' families the best you can. Thank you for those who are having trouble saying it.

Also, a big thanx! for watching over Dale Jr. & everyone this weekend at Bristol! I know you heard my hopes that Busch would win one! *grins*

Hopefully soon I will be done with my other situation Goddess. Just give me the patience and strength to go through with it.

Blessings & Light

[Bainidhe Dub]

Goddess thank you for your presence last night, both physically as the ladybug and in my dreams, which comforted me very much. I know You are watching over me always.

Blessings
Phoenix

[Bainidhe Dub]

Goddess grant me the patience to not scream bloody hell about these protesters. Ok, gov't is all about money (they're a bunch of old guys who never grew out of their high school debate teams). and industry is evil. BUT GEEZ LOUISE.. telling firefighters to take the American flag off their trucks so as not to "provoke protesters"!!!!!!

Ack, you know how I feel Goddess. I am blessed to live in a country and city where I can worship You without being burnt at the stake *laughs in all seriousness*. I feel we're blessed that such a country exsists in the first place.

But I've seen my father (a volunteer firefighter) come home crying because he's had to tell a family that their only son/daughter has died in a crash or seen a family's dream house go up in flames. I remember nights spent at the firehall making sandwiches and coffee for the guys while they're out.

Ack. *throws her hands in the air*

Goddess Grant us the wisdom and patience to get through this. Bless our soldiers and their families and comfort them, let them know that we at home appreciate their sacrifices to give us our freedoms.

Please also grant me the patience to not get back on that soapbox and get all preachy-like in my groups. Lol.

http://ladyphoenix.diary-x.com/

Blessings & Light

[Bainidhe Dub]

*lights a candle and smiles as she listens to the rain outside.*

Well Goddess, I'm content. The muses are working overtime it seems and my altar is far better for it I know. I know they were smiling last night when I started on my necklace. I was surprised when I found that charm at 2/$1.00 when I've seen it advertised elsewhere for up to $15.

My current "wish"list that I'm working on (where a little help is needed):

1. A bigger house for the whole family (an extra room for me would be very nice-no such thing as too many altars! lol)

2. To loose a little weight (oh say... 50 lbs would be great!)

3. A little extra money doesn't hurt either (Hint, hint. I'm trying and being reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaallly patient. I know when You think it's beneficial and won't hurt anyone, the money will be there.)

4. For Kathi to do really well in her circuit this summer with Stubby. She really needs to relax and get away from the office and this would be a great distraction. Let Stubby's foot heal quickly too.

On second thought that all sounds too "mememememe-ish" So I'm adding some more lol.

5. Give Corey the patience to do his schoolwork. He's not a bad chef but he'll never get into a good culinary school without good grades. I can only help him so much in his classes.

Also, I know this is redundant, but please lend Your energies and comfort to our soldiers and their families, especially those of the soldiers that were executed. Comfort this country and those of the Coalition and give us the knowledge and understanding to help those in need in Iraq. They never asked to be ruled by that regime.

Blessings & Light

[Bainidhe Dub]

Goddess, we've spoke about this before, but now I certainly need more than just strength for me or for my family. Bubba needs the strength and will to help fight the cancer spreading through his body. Lend him your energies, please, because you know we're doing everything that's medically possible for him. Even a second opinion!

I thank you everyday for Kathi. Not only is she a wonderful boss, but so much help and comfort in this time, even when she's just lost Hummer and Dinger.

Please give me the strength to make the right decision. Guide me and help me seek the answers to my questions.

[Bainidhe Dub]

Goddess, I am grateful for Jessica Lynch's family that she is safe now. I applaud her bravery and courage and wish her a speedy recovery. Also keep the rest of our soldiers as safe as possible during this time.

Thank you for blessing our family with Bubba's love and devotion. I know You're with us during this all and You know what's in our hearts. But it feels like it's all we can do to take this day by day. Please comfort our hearts and ease the pain, both for us and Bubba.

[Bainidhe Dub]

*smiles happily*

Thank you for Bubba, everyday! He's doing wonderfully again. We've decided the next step is to see a vet who deals with holistic treatments for a second opinion.

Second, thank you, Goddess, for watching over today's race at Talladega, especially during the 4th lap wreck. I'm very grateful Jr. made it out ok and mainly that no one was hurt (except for a few prides). Goddess bless Jr too! He deserved this win! *big grins* Go # 8! Four straight wins at Talladega. I'm so happy!

I know the race isn't a very Earth-friendly cause to cheer for, but it's a simple pleasure-I spend time with my family on Sundays when all week long we are too busy to see each other for more than a few minutes each night at dinner. (Plus Jr is really really really really cute and does have a nice butt *grins*)

Thank you for the inspiration for the new altars. I knew something was missing but couldn't quite put my finger on it till this morning. Sorry it took me so long.

[Bainidhe Dub]

Thank you Athena for pointing out the obvious last night. I needed to hear it, even though later I wanted to kick myself for not seeing it before. You remind me that I am only human and I will make mistakes. I will pay more attention to my "inner pomegranate" . *smiles*

[Bainidhe Dub]

I'm sorry Goddess but I don't think I can take much more pain and heartache than this.

Why couldn't he be happy with me? What is wrong with me that he wanted nothing more than to get rid of me as soon as he could? Why is it ok for him to be happy and get everything he's ever wanted - including children - after everything he put me through?

I'm not saying it's all his fault, but I don't see how he has the right to tell me he wants a divorce because he's going to be a father. I could drag it out in court, I could ask for alimony, I could have him pay for hell he put me through for those few lonely years. I could live up to the name "bitch".

But it hurts so much, like a burning hole in my gut that can't be contained, that will soon engulf my soul and I will be lost. Why couldn't he love me? And why does he throw this in my face like I was the one who kicked him out, without a dime, without a home or a car, and left to his parents' mercy? Why must I continue to cry?

Please Goddess show me Your wisdom. I don't understand why I must hurt so much. I don't understand the lesson I'm to learn. I want to love again, but how can I? I feel that I cannot trust the opposite sex, especially with my heart.

*sighs & straightens her shoulders*

I will get through this.

[Bainidhe Dub]

Thank you for Barnes & Nobles (even though there isn't much of a selection it seems any more) on that note, thank you for Borders of which I've yet go to in the year & some odd months I've been here, but I can still go if I don't find anything I'm looking for at B&N's.

Thank you for orange juice in the morning. And for pretty sparkly purple nailpolish too *laughs* It's my only vanity I allow myself lol.

Thank you for letting Custard sleep almost all night last night. Getting up with her the night before for two hours seemed a little extreme for me. 3 am is not my favorite time.

Thank you for Kathi and her farm. I am eternally happy to work here always and so isn't Mom (though we have our days like everyone else).

And finally, thank you for Tim McGraw, for certainly he is the embodiment of all that is good and well... *giggles* you know. I simply cannot wait to see his concert tonight. I haven't seen him since he first started at the NY State fair in like 7th grade lol.

Blessings & Light

[Bainidhe Dub]

Goddess, lend me your infinite wisdom and patience when dealing with this *bleeping**bleep**bleep* *bleep* computer at work.

*sighs*

*Bleep*

Thank you.

*prays to the Goddess of Computers, Technologea, to help exorcise the bad spirits and ideas from her computer. Far off into the distance, she hears a faint voice .... ".... good.... luck....."

[Bainidhe Dub]

Please Goddess watch over those of us who are rabid Buffy fans and let the powers that be give us a REALLY good spin off!

Thank you for computer tech people who know at least a little bit to let us know the *bleeping* computer was over heating.

Bubba's doing great too. Thank you every day for his sweet temper and lovable grin.

[Bainidhe Dub]

Goddess, I know You're as glad as I am that Bob is now on his way to what rescue doggies everywhere dream of- a new forever home! I am so very glad I could help get him home this weekend and very glad You gave me the chance. Thank you.

Though Custard says to tell you that next time, don't let the other doggy get his stinkies all over her mom LOL!

[Bainidhe Dub]

Thank you for emerald green grass in the morning.

I hope this house we look at tonight is as great on the inside as it is on the outside. I love the backyard! I could move some rituals outside instead of worrying about nosy neighbors!

[Bainidhe Dub]

Thank you for letting everything fall into place yesterday. I really need to chill out and not worry as much as I do. I just want to do a good job. And wring a neck or two, but that's ok too lol.

Please let Mom and Dad get the house they want. They deserve much more than what they have now.

I'm doing my second transport tomorrow for a sweet little deaf puppy. I know she will be going to a good home. Thank you again for showing me that I can make a difference. I am not just another fish swimming around with no hope of causing more than a small ripple in the pond. I can make a BIG splash. *smiles*

It's very scary in Chicago right now. Just the one suburb itself has had over 150 murders this year alone. *is mind boggled* Goddess, why is there just so much hate in the world? Why do people abuse their children, their pets, and each other? Why do the nicest people end up in the worst situations? Why do the meanest cruelest ones get the best things in life?

I read this morning about a guy in CA that had over 50 dead tigers on his property. *growls* How could anyone be that way?! It hurts my soul, Goddess, to think of those poor creatures, wasting away, when they should be in the wild, doing what is natural. Or at the very least, in a zoo, where they can be taken care of.

Of course, zoos lately are getting a pretty bad name too. That zoo on the East coast with all the unexplained animal deaths? Something is totally wrong there. What happened to preserving our wildlife?

*sigh* I know I over analyze sometimes, but I have so many questions still. Why do these things happen Goddess? Is this part of the evolution of humans? Must we destroy the Earth and her creatures before we can appreciate them? I just don't understand how anyone can look into the eyes of any creature and cause them harm.

I was very good yesterday with my diet. I walked around the farm three times and ran with Custard for a few minutes. I drank plenty of water and only strayed from my diet at lunch. I made up for it at dinner though.

*is very happy for eggs and pineapple juice* Lol.

I read a lady's journal on diary-x, where she had that weight loss surgery done. Her words were very encouraging. In one entry she tells the reader that no matter how much one person's experience may scare you, there are always exceptions and what happened to them will not necessarily happen to you. She said don't let others' bad experiences scare you from what you want (or need in her case; her weight could have caused problems with her back, diabetes, etc.) Some of her entries made so much sense and some really scared me. Especially when she spoke of the pain in the weeks after the surgery. But she did have her good days, more often than not.

I've thought about it. A lot.