In Need

[MistOfTheSea86]

Hello again long time no see. I was just wondering if anyone would be willing to be my private teacher. I know there are lessons for everyone. But I really need someone to help light my path. Which I fear is getting tainted with bad things. I sometimes feel evil literally. And It scares me. I feel If I had more knowledge of basically everything I could get back on my path towards the light. Please help.:(

[magicbabs]

WELL.......I am basically in the same boat with you. My teachers are mad at me right now, because I am mad with my God and other spirits(guides and protectors).

I have been attacked by 2 Wiccan practitioners for over a year. My Christian path did not help me. I am no longer christian.

I am mad at my Native American teachers....they keep telling me to surround myself with protection and not to use sorcery or magic. Well---- I have been a good girl for a long time...no revenge....no spell casting....no NOTHING....

AND MY BUTT IS BEING KICKED!!!!!

I found out about Wicca as a protection and sought out a lot of magic paths....found quite a bit. I kind of like this Pagan path.

I am sitting on the fence....looking at both sides...not sure where I will fall.

I have A LOT OF POWER....I CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS...and I am being VERY good right now. I feel VERY evil at times, and I am not sure where I will land....I am not making any moves right now. I am sitting still and watching and waiting...

If you want to e-mail me - please feel free. I will tell you all about the spiritual attacks, spirits that were sent to mess with me and how my teachers have helped me dispell them. My path has been and is very hard....

Life is good - you are good....go out and sit under a tree....it works for me.

The trees are SO WONDERFUL AND WILL ABSORB YOUR PAIN....ABSORB YOUR EVIL....Just remember to thank the tree after you use it. I have a special tree that I leave gifts for....river rocks.....pretty stones....etc...

Babs

[bluecat]

About your request for help, there are a few things to consider;

- What you truly want from your belief or path
- Where are you going with your path?
- Why do you wish to follow this path?

There are so may things to consider and these are just a few. If you are really looking for a teacher you might try going to www.witchvox.com ... there are several good resources there. I am also aware of a very good article by the Covenant of the Goddess folks at http://www.cog.org/wicca/teach.htm this article talks about what to look for and avoid when it comes to learning and finding a teacher.



babs, I have no real response to you, other than people aren't powerful, we may be the conduit that power passes thru, but we are not powerful. I suggest you listen to those who are teaching you and learn to use self protection. Things only work if you allow them, if you try and force them they will certainly backfire on you. That is just the way of the Universe.

I will ask to consider these things, bragging about personal power will offend much more than the universe.

Blue

[Yvonne Belisle]

I am posting this out of concern. The plea that you have for help is a cry I wish I could answer. Sadly enough I can't but I am worried that it is also a shining beacon to those psycho's that are out there looking for a victim. They love to see someone that is reaching out and one of the first steps they take is sypathetic friendship. As we are more likely to trust a friend. I beg of you to read the threads that have been stuck to the top of this forum. They are there because as a community we do care about each other from our youngest member to our oldest member. This is a great place to grow and to learn in your path and even to find your path. I feel that while you are getting your foundation so to speak that you read everything you can. Meditate on it post questions. We as a community are more than willing to help guide you. Take your time in seeking a teacher the good ones and those that are not predators will not normally take a student under 18. That is to protect both of them there are a lot of misconceptions out there. Again read and ask and the community will ban together to help you. Welcome to Mystic Wicks may your journey give you the answers you seek.

[magicbabs]

As a conduit - I am very open and powerful. I sometimes forget my verbage. I never assume it is my power, but other sources. I might not sound humble in that last post - but I am definately not the one that is the source of the power.

I forget the verbage, because it is understood in my circles and circle that we are not the power - the power works through us.

I have the ability to open up and have VERY powerful things come through. It has come to my Shaman and Seers attention that I could potentially harm myself and others if I am allowed to run wild without any mentor.

I have been working hard to not fall over onto a path that is destructive and dark. I have my teachers that have kept me in line. I have teachers that have protected me while I have battled with all kinds of darkness. I have even had cases where several healers, 2 shaman and 3 seers had to band together to pull some nasty stuff off of me.

If we had a week I could tell you all of the info. But my path could seem boring to other people. I have not had an easy walk. My current Shaman says that " I will be pretty cool when I grow up".

I understand Mist of the Sea's feelings. I know in my heart that I am not evil, but-----the mind and spirits can play with you BIG TIME!!!

Let's face it folks - we are not exactly dealing with weak forces here. We are connecting into natural forces and man made thought forms that are totally awesome and cruel at the same time.

Anyone that is practicing the pagan way and thinks that the magic and energy we deal with is harmless......Hummmmmm!!! I am not sure what to say....

I have the most wonderful friend that is WICCAN - she is very grounded and totally beyond belief. I was thinking of hooking her up with this web site.
I was thinking that she might have good suggestions for Mist of the Sea.

My whole point to the reply I posted previously is that I am walking a path of light. I have been attacked- and even wounded by darkness. I choose not to go there in my practice.


Hey - I just got this from my teacher over the phone - he called me and asked me "what are you doing right now" --- ha! Nothing gets past him.

Dilwar said:
"Negative thoughts, depressed thoughts.... amplified is one of the roots of evil.

It is too easy to slip into revenge when protecting oneself. This is an immature cosmology if it does NOT allow the possibility for ones personal transformation or the other persons transformation as possible".

-----(not quite sure about that part - I will have to roll that one over in my head).

"This is why the idea of praying for someone else is more magnamous and affirms as well as creates the reality that we all are transforming into ethical beings.

Practicing forgiveness with wisdon is essential. We indeed create our own reality - lets not let our own life become a dungeon and dragons game. There is too much pleasure joy and vitality to create.

Beware of suppresive lines of communication".
- Quote per Dilwar


Anyway - anyone that can help Mist of the Sea walk through this without going grey or dark...that would be AWESOME!!! I have been so blessed and lucky.

My point to Mist of the Sea is that she is not crazy - and not evil. This is some tuff stuff to deal with....If she were evil - she would not reach out for help....

It is a seriously scarey space and placeto be in when you are battling within yourself to make sure you are not evil.

Oppppppss!!!! I need to go...

Everyone have a wonderful weekend - Babs

[magicbabs]

One of the concepts that I have been taught is that when you think you are evil is called "dark night of the soul" or " death walk" in my teachings.

And I wanted to STRESS again - I am DEFINATELY not bragging about my power - I did not mean it to come across that way.

Anyone that knows me personally will tell you that I don't brag about that AT ALL!!! They will also tell you that I know I am not the creator of the power.... goodness ---- I am really sorry about that mis-communication.......

I have concern that we as practitioners are not taking our abilities to be conduits seriously.

I am not sure what some of the people here believe, but I come from a background that teaches that even a thought can harm.

I have been taught that thoughts can harm and WORDS are very very powerful.

Thanks for helping me with my verbage....

Peace - Babs

[Yvonne Belisle]

Thank-you for clarifying that for all of us. This is a very diverse community and we have a lot of members as well as visitors. This is one of the best sites many of us have seen and we are of such a wide range of views and paths that we have to be carefull sometimes not to make the wrong impression. I know that I for one would like to see more of your thoughts and opinions on the boards. Welcome abain to Mystic Wicks grab a lemonade and come on down. :D

[magicbabs]

Thank you that is so nice of you to comment kindly. I was concerned about my posting being misintrepreted.

Thank you again - I feel better.

Good night and good weekend...

[bluecat]

Thank you for clarifying.

Please understand that I was not being nit-piccy over what you said, it is an important issue and goes a long way towards understanding where the person is coming from.

Blue

[MistOfTheSea86]

Yes I agree with what you all say. But it is just so hard. First, I feel like my heart is split n two. One evil one good. And I am just trying so hard to go towards the good. But a vaccum keeps me in the middle. I am so glad that it is not powerful enough for me to harm someone. But I fear that one day it wil pull me. But that'll be the day when I die. I will never give up this battle. I will face my demons head on and send them back to the dark void whence they came. I will never let them prevail... Hey Yvonne... WOuld you be willing to teach me. How bout you Babs and Bluecat. You all could help me. Couldn't ya? Peas and Carrots? (Which in my world means please if your wondering)

[Yvonne Belisle]

All humans are a blend of light and dark. The temptation to follow a darker path is always there. That path is not stronger it is just more suductive. It is the path of selfishness and greed it is a lonely place in which one lies to themselves. The lighter path isn't always pretty and it isn't easy it is a struggle against the desire to take that which is not ours. It is a struggle to always do what you know in your heart is right. The rewards of that choice are so great that they make it easier to walk that path with a lightness of heart. When you feel that strong seductive pull to be selfish and to use any gifts that you may have ( and they are gifts) talk to us. Post in the threads we all face the same struggle and we would be honored to help you in yours through questions and answers which is truely all that teaching is. It is the sharing of information. That is something that can be done here on the boards. Start with the links in the seeker thread. From there decide what you want from your religion in your life. From that you will get questions that you want answers to. Post those questions and we will do all in our power to answer them.

[Amethyst Rose]

Originally posted by MistOfTheSea86
Yes I agree with what you all say. But it is just so hard. First, I feel like my heart is split n two. One evil one good. And I am just trying so hard to go towards the good. But a vaccum keeps me in the middle

Big hugs for you! This is *exactly* where you should be!! Life is about balances; we can't have the light without the dark, and vice versa. To do so is to deny ourselves wholeness and completion. The trick is being able to work with and willingly accept both sides.... Like Yvonne said.... when you feel you're going too far to one side, when you're losing that balance, talk to us. We'll always try to help to the best of our abilities.