peoples thoughts...???

[screamineagle01]

MM all, Just kinda wondering what people think about asking a person to marry them. In this time and date is it still proper for the man to ask the lady, or is it ok for the lady to ask the man? A little curious here and just want a little insight. :)

[Mairwen]

In my situation, the way it turned out, we opened our mouths to ask at the same time! And no, I don't think it matters who asks! ;)

[Xois]

You know

I have been waiting for 5 years! I have asked him and he said yes, but then he never moved forward (not that I think he should be the oone moving forward, but HE DOES!)

Just ask! :D

*sigh*

Still single
Xois

[Mariposa De La Luna]

I don't think it matters who asks who. But I personally don't think marriage is important unless you are ready to have kids.

I read somewhere, don't ask because I can't remember, that there used to be many forms of marrage until the Christians came and conviced people that there was only one way.

[Rævyn Cigány]

Actually, I think it's more than alright for a woman to ask a man to marry her! One of my closest girlfriends plans on doing just that this summer (and most probably at a barbeque I'm throwing...I can't wait!!!), on one knee with a ring et al! My hubby never really "officially" asked me to marry him until we had been "engaged" for nearly 6 months! LOL! And then you don't want to know HOW he proposed (ie, what state of undress...er....dress he was). LOL! But hey, once again, I'll reiterate: Man or woman...proposals are A.O.K! (holy thunderin' Thor, did I just SAY that?!!! ;))

BB

Rae )0(

[random]

Personally, I do not believe in binding ones self to someone, but I do believe in handfasting.

I don't think it really matters who does the proposing.

[tempest69]

No clue. Can't even get a date!

[Amethyst Rose]

I asked my hubby to marry me. :) It was actually completely unplanned. I planned on asking him if he wanted to move in with, me but it came out as if he wanted to marry me...... his response was "I'm supposed to ask that." hehe :D

[Amora]

Personally I think it's fine for a woman to ask a man

My question is does she still get a ring? (I'm greedy like that)

[screamineagle01]

The wonderfull and beautiful Lady Tana has completely surprised me by proposing to me *wahoooooo!!!* Of course i said yes and the those concernedand greedy like that(heheheee) We both got rings. About time she proposed after 11 years....sheesh *BIG HUGE GRIN*

[Faery-Wings]

The wonderfull and beautiful Lady Tana has completely surprised me by proposing to me *wahoooooo!!!* Of course i said yes and the those concernedand greedy like that(heheheee) We both got rings. About time she proposed after 11 years....sheesh *BIG HUGE GRIN*


That is awesome news!


:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

BB!

Chris

[Yvonne Belisle]

:D :D :D Congrats to the happy couple:D :D :D

[sherry]

CONGRATS did she read this thread it is kind of hard to hide anything in this FAMILY!!;)

[Earth Walker]

IMO, I do not believe that the Goddess meant for people to
be "married" and that marriage is an invention of the patri-
archs designed to keep the "little woman" at home.
What can you say to those Little Men? They don't or won't
understand that they have been victimized by patriarchy as
well...with marriage generally keeping people apart from each other, instead of all working together as community/family.
They say marriage is a fine institution....but then again, so are
prisons, but I do not want to be there either.
Men being conditioned to believe that they have to be practically
slaves for the wages they are paid, to compete with other men,
that the world is "theirs" to do with want they want.
In ancient matriarchal societies, both parents worked together
with children, they worked together with the entire community,
with everyone contributing to the village to take care of each
other....it sure isn't that way today!
It was the women who decided to get together with a man to
have a child, once a year (9 mos pregnant, post-natal rest and
care; this being done to keep human populations in an equal
balance with other life. Contrary to what patriarchal religions
teach, lesbians, gays, transsexuals preceded mainstream society
many millennia ago.
Look at the world today, vastly overpopulated, and numbers
still rising. With the IMMENSE numbers of people today, and the
continuing rapid population growth, how much longer will it be
before wildlife and their habitat is gone forever? The same
question for agricultural lands? With all the land covered over
with houses, malls, pavement, concrete, etc., how then will
people be able to grow food? :confused:
Men have been conditioned over the last few centuries that they
have to be "macho", to have to hide their feelings, to be in
"charge" of everything, in short, causing insecurities that result
in other peoples being hurt/murdered on pretenses, racism,
sexism, hatemongering, etc.
Economics is merely one way for the patriarchs (elite) to keep
the "little people" in oppression.
In Canada, Chretien and the Federal Liberals are continuing to
turn a blind to the problems of poverty and homelessness, and
in the U.S. with Dubya...it goes without saying.
It is the same around the world where patriarchal societies
rule, always WARS, etc.....women, men and children starving,
droughts, a dying planet!
It is my opinion that the reasons we have sterile women and
men today is because Mother Nature is working to keep the
human populations down to proper sustainable levels, but with
what modern sciences are doing today, it is a losing battle, and
I believe that it is the same for some diseases (natural).
Let's consider AIDS. I have documented files downloaded from
several sources(not mainstream) that clearly show that the
DNA of the AIDS "virus" is not natural. This is why it is able to
mutate extremely fast, becoming resistant to all drugs/treatments, and why it cannot be killed like natural viruses.
Using aluminum cookware is a cause of Alzheimer's disease, so
how many other "viruses" and "diseases" have been unleashed
on us by science, military, etc?
To finish, I do not think that the Goddess meant for women or
men to live together for a lifetime.....to live together in a community, of course, but not permanently together.
Consider marriages today, the escalating divorce rate, the
declining "marriage" rate, arguments, fights, beatings, and other
problems of married life......no women, or man wants someone
around 24 hours a day....especially if that person wants to
crawl up your a** most of the time....we all need our own
time and space alone....the way it was in ancient pre-patriarchal
societies, the way it was meant to be.


To believe what you see is to be deceived.
**********************************
Reject the illusions of social harmony.

[Amethyst Rose]

Originally posted by Mystique
IMO, I do not believe that the Goddess meant for people to
be "married" and that marriage is an invention of the patri-
archs designed to keep the "little woman" at home.
What can you say to those Little Men? They don't or won't
understand that they have been victimized by patriarchy as
well...with marriage generally keeping people apart from each other, instead of all working together as community/family.
<big snip>
To finish, I do not think that the Goddess meant for women or
men to live together for a lifetime.....to live together in a community, of course, but not permanently together.
.....no women, or man wants someone around 24 hours a day....especially if that person wants to crawl up your a** most of the time....we all need our own time and space alone....the way it was in ancient pre-patriarchal societies, the way it was meant to be.


That's a very intersting perspective to take on it. However, in my opinion marriage is not an effort to keep women down. I am CERTIANLY not kept down!! Many if not most women today work to help support the family, and child raising is seen as an equal partnership. As well, there are many men today who choose to stay home with the children, while the woman works. As to working together as a community.... well, in prehistoric days that may have been easy, with a small villiage. But can you imagine that in a city of 3 million???? It would be impossible to structure something like that.....

I have to disagree with your idea that people shouldn't be together all the time....... I LOVE my husband. I am happy when I get to spend 24 hours a day with him... I look forward to the days when we can be together like that. And if you are in a relationship when someone "wants to crawl up your a** most of the time", well then you're in the wrong relationship, or you need to work somethings out.
Granted, we do need our own alone time, and space.... but is it so difficult to get that when you're married??? No! When I want my space I go have a bath.... or sneak away to the bedroom, or back yard to read a book.... or I go for a drive, or a walk.
If we were meant to stay the same as we were in ancient times, then things would be the same as they were in ancient times, IMHO.

I'm going to have to use a clique to sum up this post..... "Don't knock it till you've tried it."

[Lady Tana]

After 11 years (and 2 kids) someone had to make the first move...lol!!

I am happy oh soooooo happy that he said yes!!
Now we just have to see how long it takes for the actual ceremony to take place..... ha!
IF it is soon we will post pictures for everyone :)

[Earth Walker]

Originally posted by Amethyst Rose


That's a very intersting perspective to take on it. However, in my opinion marriage is not an effort to keep women down. I am CERTIANLY not kept down!! Many if not most women today work to help support the family, and child raising is seen as an equal partnership. As well, there are many men today who choose to stay home with the children, while the woman works. As to working together as a community.... well, in prehistoric days that may have been easy, with a small villiage. But can you imagine that in a city of 3 million???? It would be impossible to structure something like that.....

I have to disagree with your idea that people shouldn't be together all the time....... I LOVE my husband. I am happy when I get to spend 24 hours a day with him... I look forward to the days when we can be together like that. And if you are in a relationship when someone "wants to crawl up your a** most of the time", well then you're in the wrong relationship, or you need to work somethings out.
Granted, we do need our own alone time, and space.... but is it so difficult to get that when you're married??? No! When I want my space I go have a bath.... or sneak away to the bedroom, or back yard to read a book.... or I go for a drive, or a walk.
If we were meant to stay the same as we were in ancient times, then things would be the same as they were in ancient times, IMHO.

I'm going to have to use a clique to sum up this post..... "Don't knock it till you've tried it."

For me, I like to go out to the mountains and spend a day or
two away from Robin. No, she doesn't crawl up my a**---but there are women and men who have that problem.
I am always happy to come back to her...we have been together
for 5-6 years....for us, we can be together without being married.
I am not slamming any person, just giving my opinion.
Robin to have a day or two by herself also, we aren't going to
do the funky chicken in the interval....we love being with each
other, but we respect each others needs to be alone from time
to time.
I am glad to hear that you have a good man to share your life
with. Congratulations. :sunny: :heartthro

[Jazzmine]

I think a lot of marriages these days are gone into half heartedly, that's why they don't last. If you marry someone for the wrong reasons then it will not work out. I lived with my husband for a year before we got married and really the only reason we got married was for getting more money back at tax time.HAHAHAHA
We knew we would be together forever.We love each other and that's what matters. Whether you get married, handfasting, or just live together. All you need is love. (Good song, too)

[Lady Tana]

Originally posted by Jazzmine
All you need is love.
We've got alot of that, oh yeah!

:heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro

[MammaStar]

Congratulations to you both. :D :D

[EasternPriest]

Originally posted by Mystique

To believe what you see is to be deceived.
**********************************



It seems that your own quote works against the one-sided diatribe you posted. You seem to enjoy throwing lots of "facts" together in a post, I would be interested in knowing the sources of those facts so that I could verify them.

[EasternPriest]

On the question this thread is supposed to be addressing - I think that either the man or the woman can propose marriage. :)

[Lucidia]

i think that if you feel strongly about someone, proposal is actually not even important. marriage is a formality. Me and my husband performed our own private ceremony, after realizing that a big public hoopla wasn't really making a point. yeah, he asked me first.. but I already felt the same way, and was afraid to say something and scare him off.

Honestly... if you spend a long period of time with someone WAITING for something to happen.. then there might be a problem. sometimes... things don't grow with time. People stay in long term committed relationships and get engaged because they "have been together for SO long they wouldnt' want to ruin it" and yet if they really wanted to be married, then they would have just done it.

Not to mention.. people stress over marriage... like "oh my god, i'm not ready for this"... but then why are you spending all your time with this person and talking about how you are "in love" with them... and honestly what other prerequisites were there for wanting to get married other than loving someone and wanting to spend all your time with them. If you want to be with them forever, then BE WITH THEM FOREVER. Who cares about rules and laws and ceremony, if that isn't going to change how you feel. People sign papers and make fusses becasue deep down they are afraid and don't trust themselves/or the other person and need constant confromation from some form of tangible event to make sure that indeed they are WITH this person.

I think the problem is that people view marriage as a step down and a form of mental/emotional bondage in a negative sense. I think marriage is a state of mind. me and my husband were married the moment we accepted (spoken or not) that we wanted to spend our lives together. The ceremony doesn't make it true or false. If your feelings are genuine, they won't fade or change, and I see no need to prove a point to anyone.

I'm once again ranting... sorry about that.

[Xois]

I don't think it matters who asks who. But I personally don't think marriage is important unless you are ready to have kids.

Well, I have to respectfully disagree

Apart from the obvious pshycological personal impact (we are a creature of ritual afterall) there are obvious LEGAL problems that can result..

for example. Allen and I have been together for 4 years...We share finances and such

if he dies, I get nothing! Not one cent! Because I am not kin

So there are reason to do it. You also get validity by the society you live in (in my case the usa) which is also important...

Just my thoughts
Xois

ps *sigh* still single! :D

[Celtic_Angel]

I think that it is a fantastic idea for a woman to ask or a man! :D I personally doubt that I would ever ask though. I'm too chicken!!! :D Not that I have to worry about that for many many years! :p

Congrats to you and the fair Lady Tana!!!! :sunny: May you both live long and happy lives together! :sunny: :heartthro :sunny: many blessings to you both! :sunny: :heartthro :sunny: Gee golly gosh! :p That is so cool! :D

[Elaine]

Let me first start off by saying how happy I am for the 2 of you!! That is just wonderful....My husband and I will be married for 2 years on Tuesday! I think that it is definately ok for a girl to ask a guy...it depends on the person if your comfortable enough with yourself to actually ask though....some people are too afraid of rejection so they just leave it up to the other person!

I have to agree that as long as you get married for the right reason it is ok....(I know I'm young and I usually don't tell people about this, so I'd appreciate if I didn't get a hard time about this) :D but I got married when I was 18...because I wanted out of my parents house....he WAS the type that was up my @** all the time....but I put up with it because we were married....then I started going to my trade school and I met someone I actually could love...that wouldn't be up my @** all the time and would truely love me back.....I divorced at 19 and re-married at 20...I'm not at all proud of what I did (plus I ended up owing the &$&$#&*^ over $2,000 plus money to pay off HIS credit cards!!) I wish every day that I didn' do what I did....but I thank my Goddess and God every day that I have my husband and that we are happy.....I know that he was the right choice...and there's no better feeling than that for me!!

also.....imho it's not bad to spend so much time together when you're married...if you are married for all the right reasons you will not mind being with your partner 24 hours a day....not only are we married, we are best friends...yeah we have tough times and of course we argue at times...but I always know if I need him he will be there...even for the stupid petty stuff, he's there....he's everything I need all rolled into one ....I don't know what I'd do if I didn't get to spend as much time with him as I do!! He's at home sleeping right now, and I'm missing him just writing this...

I think it depends on who you are....everyone is different and what's right for me isn't necessarily right for you....a guy I work with is in his mid 40's and has never been married....doesn't want to be either....he's happy just bringing a girl over every once in awhile and then letting them go home...no attachment....I would never be able to be alone like he is....but he's happy that way...

sorry I got so long winded....I haven't checked the new threads in the last couple of days and there was so much I wanted to reply to on this:) hope you don't mind:D

[Lady Tana]

This family is the best you guys know that!!!

and, btw.... you were the first people to know :)
(leave him alone with the puter for a few hours and look at the trouble he creates!!lol)

Now if I could just get help planning a "Ren Wedding" and getting him to agree to it all..... hahahah

:heartthro

[muse]

Upon reading what should have been a happy posting I was struck by something less than agreeable to me. The statements made by Mystique were rather rude generalizations with no references for her claimed facts. I would like to point out that this also offended me. Then when someone is disturbed by this they are repremanded? They used the word diatribe and according to the dictionary it was very accurate. Perhaps before criticizing someone for their word usage we should check it's acuracy. The post was most definitely a diatribe.

Word History: Listening to a lengthy diatribe may seem like a waste of time, an attitude for which there is some etymological justification. The Greek word diatrib, the ultimate source of our word, is derived from the verb diatrbein, made up of the prefix dia-, “completely,” and trbein, “to rub,” “to wear away, spend, or waste time,” “to be busy.” The verb diatrbein meant “to rub hard,” “to spend or waste time,” and the noun diatrib meant “wearing away of time, amusement, serious occupation, study,” as well as “discourse, short ethical treatise or lecture, debate, argument.” It is the serious occupation of time in discourse, lecture, and debate that gave us the first use of diatribe recorded in English (1581), in the now archaic sense “discourse, critical dissertation.” The critical element of this kind of diatribe must often have been uppermost, explaining the origin of the current sense of diatribe, “a bitter criticism.”

That said. I would like to offer my congratulations to the happy couple. Also my apology for placing this here I did not see a thread for complaints.

[IsisMoon]

:D :D :D