A friend in need

[vera krenzer]

I have 2 friends that are in dire need of help. The first is being abused by her husband and is afraid to leave the relationship because of what he is capable of doing, in addition they have a child together.The second is an alcoholic and has be going to AA meetings, her sponser isn't a very good one, she feels discouraged and I have tried to comfort her the best that I can. What she needs is more than I can give so I thought a spell may be the resolution.

[Kaylara]

Not if the person doesn't want you to do the spell... If they ask for it, then ok...

Kaylara

[MammaStar]

I don't think casting a spell for someone would help them, only if they ask for it. I also think it depends on the spell. When I first started learning, my boss's wife became very ill. She contracted a severe infection which effected her ability to walk. She went to a rehab hospital to help her regain the use of her legs. At the time, I had someone I could go to for advice pretty regular, and I asked her if she thought I could cast a healing spell. She gave me a very simple candle healing spell, which I casted on the night of the full moon. My boss was coming to work pretty irregular, and when he came in 2 days later he was smiling ear to ear. His wife had taken 2 steps the day before! He was so excited and happy. Inside I was jumping up and down for joy.

More recent, I have a VERY good friend, in fact he is my high school sweetheart. We've remained friends over the years, he and his wife are going through a very tough time (his wife is cheating on him and isn't hiding it very well). I won't cast a spell to help him. He is deeply DEEPLY Christian and I don't think the energy from my spell would mix well with his. So instead of a spell, I lit a candle on my alter for him and asked the Goddess to help guide him and his wife. I think in situations like that it's all you can do.

Hoped I made sense.

[Rick]

There are a variety of opinions in the "Magical Ethics" thread in this forum.

[Mairwen]

I was an abused spouse. I'm a Survivor, now. Anyway, sorry to say, but the only person who can help your friend is herself. Been there, done that, understand her mentality. Nothing is going to happen until she wants it to happen. End of story.

[Shy Hawk]

I think we should interfer, even if help is refused...though it may not do any good. But, not with magick. We must exercise mundane means first...right?
I mean, just because we can use magick doesn't mean we have to.
Shy Hawk

[mol]

If a spell is used to intervene...one that wasnt wanted...what happens if it goes awry?

[Emerald Sky]

Originally posted by Mairwen
I was an abused spouse. I'm a Survivor, now. Anyway, sorry to say, but the only person who can help your friend is herself. Been there, done that, understand her mentality. Nothing is going to happen until she wants it to happen. End of story.

Yes, and I was an alcoholic. I attend AA. Tell your friend to get a different sponsor... get several different sponsors. There are people at AA who can help her if she wants help. As Mairwen said, noone can help her unless she makes the decision to accept help. That being said, no, I don't think you should do magic in these cases. In the case of the alcoholic... speaking from experience... she may need to hit the rockiest of bottoms before she's truly ready to recover. If you cast a spell, you may prevent her from hitting her bottom. In that case, she may never recover.

It's tough to watch people you love suffer, unfortunately, sometimes it's necessary. Unsolicited advice for you - if you want to be a good friend to your alcoholic friend, attend some alanon meetings. The people there will help YOU learn how to have a relationship with an alcoholic - one who is still using or one who is in recovery.

JMHO.

[Myst]

Sometimes you go through bad times because you have to learn or experience certain things. Sometimes you do because you have to learn to gather your strength together and persevere yourself.

Hard times are sometimes necessary to teach someone a lesson. If they don't want your help they aren't ready to move on from the lesson. You probably shouldn't interfere.

always IMHO