Would you be unfaithful?

[Amethyst Rose]

For those people out there married or in a serious commitment.....

I asked my husband the other night that if he was walking down the street and a bunch of pretty naked girls ask him to have sex with them (all at the same time), would he do it. He said yes!! Now, I don't know how serious he was, but he said that I person shouldn't pass up that type of opportunity, and that he'd expect me to do the same thing. And....come to think of it.... if Vin Diesel ever offered himself up to me, I'd probably take it. :D

Anyway, if offered that type of "amazing" opportunity, would you take it, even though it meant being unfaithful?

[Ravens_Tears]

I wouldn't. Not in a relationship now but have been married before...

[Rainx]

Some people have "freebies" too, where you get a certain number of people that you'd sleep with if you could and the couple's agreed that'd be ok.

I think I saw that on Friends or something.

[Radocs]

Nope.

[WitchJezebel]

In my early to mid-twenties I could do it without a second thought. Now, in my mid-thirties I couldn't. I guess I grew a conscience with age.

[Marchosias]

So far, Im the only "yes" vote... O_o

[rainmaker]

Nope. Never. If I'm in a serious relationship, chances are that I'm positively googley-schmoogley about them. Other women are just....other women to me then.

And married? After watching my mom go through 2 marriages at my brothers and mine expense, it's oddly the one thing I hold most sacred of all. I refuse to put myself or my (future) children through the hell of a divorce.



Where am i and how did i get on this soapbox? :)

[Valnorran]

Nope. Been in the same marriage (my one and only) for 12 years now. I gave my word to foresake all others.

[Danustouch]

I suppose it would depend on the relationship I was in. If both partners in the relationship agreed that that sort of thing would be "okay" then fine.....;)

Seriously though, my IDEAL version of marriage is that when two people are together, they are supposed to only have eyes for eachother...(I mean...REAL eyes..not the.."oo..that chick is hot, passing type of eyes). And only want to be with eachother the rest of their lives.

[Phoenix Blue]

I'll put it this way: being unfaithful is not something I will do again.

Then again, the circumstances that led to my being unfaithful within my last marriage were somewhat extenuating to begin with. Namely, I was looking for emotional, not physical, fulfillment.

Under this particular hypothetical circumstance, though, I wouldn't have gone for it even back then.

[*GrumpButt*]

the way I look at it, if you have the urge to sleep with someone else, or are not getting what youy need at home, then the realtionship is not worth it. I would dump the person first them sleep with that other person.

[Erincelt]

As I see it, sexuality is a special and sacred thing, best enjoyed in Love, and that Love best shared between two devoted persons. But that's me.

Liber Consiliis : All acts of Love are acts of Worship also, for the Gods are Love, Love of All!
Fifth Precept : Abstain from defiliment of sexuality, as through prostitution and disloyalty.

I know these aren't in everyone's collection of teachings, but it explains my background on the issue.

[Azure]

I can't imagine sneaking around behind my boyfriend's back. A sign, I guess, because he's the first person I've ever dated where I just don't want anyone else.

But cheating is lying, and that smacks of a bad relationship to begin with. Since the theme of the thread is "infidelity" and not polyamory, or something like that, I assumed that the question is whether or not you would cheat.

[Yvonne Belisle]

Nope I wouldn't

[Gently Gazing Eyes]

Nope.

[Chibi-Fallon]

Depends. If it was someone famous or something where it would just be like a thing you'd do to say you've done it, and there was no attachment and would only see them in the movies/on the radio. Sure.
But if it's just a random person, no.

[izzy]

I couldn't do that,
I know what its like when someone does that to you and if you know that feeling why would you want to make someone else, especially one you love feel that hurt?

So nope, not me!

[Autumn]

Nope, I love him too much!

I can't imagine being with anyone else.

[AstraSkye]

Nope, no way, never, no chance, not in a million years.

[Jeleia]

No. But I made the mistake of cheating at the beginning of my relationship with Chris, Luckily he forgave me, and I there is no way I'd ever risk our relationship again.

Not even for Brad Pitt :)

[Amethyst Rose]

What I find really interesting is that only one of the (surprisingly) few people who said yes has admitted to it. :)
I also find it interesting that most people seem to think that there must be something wrong with the relationship if a person would consider doing something like that. Seeing as how this post started with a story about my relationship, I have to take a little offence to that, even though I know that now one pointed their opinions at me or my husband.
I know for a fact that we have an amazing relationship and that it couldn't be stronger and that it's lacking in no way.... we're renewing our vows in June and we're having a baby in October.....
While I was surprised and shocked that he said he'd willingly engage in an orgy with strange women, I also had to look at myself and invision a circumstance where I would do the same thing (hence, Vin Diesel).
I guess what it comes down to is how a couple views their relationship and the boundries within it. It's perfectly okay for us to make up fantasy scenarios that would never happen...(as much as I love him, I don't think a bunch of naked girls would ever proposition him out of the blue). Contemplating or having affairs with Joe or Jill Blow, however, is a completely different situation.
Sorry this is so long. :)

[Psyche Ague]

Well, I've cheated before and have never found what I was looking for. A good time? Sure, if you're lucky. Fulfillment? Rarely. Satisfaction? Probably not.

If I'm in a relationship, I've given myself to someone. If you want to be with someone else, then you're not meant to be in a relationship. I understand open relationships, but I was under the impression we were talking about a closed, monogamous relationship.

I don't even want other people. They're just meat in my eyes. My boyfriend is the only person that I want right now. Anyone else just couldn't compare. He seems to be the only one who is as kinky and crazy as I am, anyway. ;)

But like you said, fantasies are one thing. It's okay to have naughty thoughts now and then about someone(s) else, as long as they don't replace an actual relationship with your significant other. However, if Tyler said that he would willingly cheat on me if he had the opportunity (and both of us have opportunities like you wouldn't believe!), then I'd consider myself gone and done.

Oh, and I have passed up similar opportunities...I've turned people down when they've asked me to "join" them. Am I crazy for doing it? No, I don't believe so. Perhaps for me, a fulfilling relationship is better than random, one-time, impersonal sex that will never mean anything.

[7hunters]

Nope I wouldn't fortuneately because Vin Diesel would never find me dishy.

Easy to say no when there is no temptation. My husband is very handsome, we have a very happy marriage almost ten years now, we got together at age 18, and I love him with every fiber, but sometimes I must admit I miss the excitement of when we were first together.

Now it's night time heartburn and scratching the old rump. I really wish I could get wisked away on something exciting sometimes, romantic and passionate. He works so much I miss him a lot. So often we're too tired to actually, you know, DO anything.

This post gave me an idea though, we're expected at an art show, and I know my hubby really likes Goth girls. I'm a blue jeans frumpy with two small rug rats, but wondered if I could go Goth for the show and shock him. : ) It wouldn't be convincing I suppose to a real goth, I don't even know if I can still walk in my cat women boots, but I can try! hehe.

[Autumn]

7hunters I think you'll knock his socks off!

To me, fidelity is about trust and it is also about the people in the relationship. If you have the other person's informed consent are you really being unfaithful? If it is a polyamorous relationship and you are playing by the rules I think it isn't unfaithfulness.

Not that I am in a polyamorous relationship :D

[WandererInGray]

Originally posted by Amethyst Rose
It's perfectly okay for us to make up fantasy scenarios that would never happen...(as much as I love him, I don't think a bunch of naked girls would ever proposition him out of the blue). Contemplating or having affairs with Joe or Jill Blow, however, is a completely different situation.

*shrugs* Take offense if you want, but you asked the question.

I (and probably everyone else who read and responded) didn't see this as a "fantasy" question.

Even the title says it "would you be unfaithful" is pretty straightforward and doesn't make any mention of a fantasy.

Fantasies are one thing. *laughs* At the risk of grossing people out, Phoenix and I have discussed and even engaged in some of our fantasies. *shrugs* That's not the same thing as being unfaithful.

I wouldn't be unfaithful to him....no way, no how. It's one thing to say I've got a list (like Orli Bloom and Oded Fehr :D) But when it came right down to it, even if one of them came up and asked for a go at it....*shakes head* I wouldn't agree.

You want answers about fantasies....ask questions about them. Not about being unfaithful.

[Twilight Garden]

I have always told my husband that if ever I'm propositioned by Robert Smith (yup, fat Bob of the Cure) I would have to do it. He agreed that I could only "cheat" on him with that one and only person. *I put cheat in " " because to me cheating entails some sort of lying or disrespect. We have already agreed, long before we were married, that it would be acceptable, so there is no unfaithfulness involved. I would NEVER do anything with any other person. I love respect and care for my husband far too much. He has been crushed before by someone's infedelity. I saw how much it hurt him. I could never live with myself. I've never done it before and can't imagine doing it in the future, in all honesty, even with Robert Smith.

[April]

My mate and I agreed a long time ago that anybody who said they never looked at other men or women...well they're probably lying. We also agreed that he's got a list of 3 girls, all famous actresses, and I've got a couple guys (Vin Diesel in a second :) ) that we could go for if the opportunity arose.

However, in this lifetime that opportunity will most likely never raise its head. So being unfaithful just isn't an option in our house. We both trust each other, and I believe wouldn't ever want to do anything to hurt the other.

[SimplyStrange]

I've done it before, but it was an interesting circumstance... and it wasn't sex. But I voted no for this specific scenario. It's easy for me to say no to a stranger... but my circumstance was different. Too complicated to explain. I don't really feel guilty for it, because it wasn't sexual, it was entirely emotional...

Bah point is, I voted no for this specific scenario, but it doesn't mean it wouldn't happen.

[Webgenie]

As Rainmaker said, marriage is most sacred. I made a commitment and meant my vows. It was a free and joyous choice, and my fidelity is assured.

[Dindrane]

I wouldn't no.
My hubby is enough man for me!

Blessings,
Dindrane

[Thistle]

Nope. To me, it's a betrayal of trust.

Looking at somebody else and appreciating what you see isn't the same thing as acting on it. I may be married, but I'm not dead!

[Bainidhe Dub]

Before my ex, I would have said a wholehearted NO!. Now I'm not so sure. So I voted Yes, even though I never have (Though I have been accused of it lol)

There are situations that do present themselves and things do happen. If I were in a trusting relationship, then I know Iwouldn't. Which doesn't mean my partner wouldn't.

[Raydreamer]

This is something i've thought about quite a bit.....
It's a funny question and depends on people, circumstances etc, etc, etc!
When I was younger and started going out with boys i wouldn't even kiss another boy, which is funny because i remember going out with someone i really didn't like and being propositioned by another boy....but i wouldn't be unfaithful!
On the other hand, when i was in my first sexual relationship, i went away to Ireland after we'd been together for two months and we'd come to the agreement that if i met anyone and something happened...then that was okay. i was sixteen and my boyfriend was twenty-three so there was a respect issue involved. He wanted me to be independant and if i felt the need to experiment, he supported that. yet he was completely devoted to me. Only now, years later do i fully understand his decision and my respect for him has gone right up. I did meet someone in Ireland, and something did happen...and we didn't stay together when I got back (my decision), but what had happened wasn't an issue. We'd just grown apart.
So id' say i wouldn't be unfaithful. and by that i mean go behind my partners back and become involved sexually with someone else without him knowing or being comfortable with it. I'd apply this rule to him too.

Goodness that was long! :p

[serenarian]

I have cheated on boyfriends in the past. But I was fourteen and it wasn't really a serious relationship although that doesn't excuse it.

Now, I would never be unfaithful. It's not in my moral codes to do that. I am in a committed relationship with someone I love very deeply and we understand that we may look at other people, but I would never act on a trivial attraction.

Hope that answers the question.

[DarkDancer]

I voted no, because my gears don't really turn that way.

I find it interesting how many of you are so hung up on the physical but the emotional is no issue. I was talking to my last roommate and his wife one night and she said, in essence, that if he had sex with another woman that while it would hurt her, she'd get over it, however if he fell in love with another woman, whether there was sex or not, she would be done with him.

[Night_Goddess]

My husband cheated on me and it was one of the most destructive things ever.
I wasn't upset about the sex....it was the fact that he'd let his heart stray instead of working with me on our marriage.
I'm ten years past the divorce, some distance away from a marriage that lasted 20 years.
Now, being in a committed relationship with someone who respects me, cares about my kids, is generous, kind, and open with his heart (emotionally accessible).....I'm lucky.
As for my ex, he married the woman. She was a 'friend' who worked for the same company as he; in fact, we attended her wedding--and I attended her bridal shower(!) So two marriages were caught in the crossfire.
I still don't want to be in the same room with her, ever.

Thanks for letting me vent, everyone.

[Merrilyn]

Fantasies, I have. So does he. Sometimes..we share 'em with each other. We think it's healthy. That's as far as it goes.
I would never risk losing him.
For anyone.

[Bix]

I think there's a big difference between being in an unfaithful relationship and being in an open relationship. I would never want to be unfaithful...but if people are open about there relationship and both people consent to it, I wouldn't consider it being unfaithful.

[Kailen]

I'm kinda 50/50, so I put yes. But it'd depend on a lot of factors.

[Thunder]

Given the right set of circumstances... anyone will do anything.

[LadyAutumnCat]

I put yes...

Last year I would have said no, but now I've changed. I'm not committed to anyone but myself at the moment, because I have recently come out of an 11 year relationship in which I NEVER cheated but I'm not sure if he cheated.

That being said, if I was in a committed relationship I would jump at the chance if Hugh Laurie asked me! :)

I'm very unlikely to have a commitment issue come up anytime soon, I'm looking to be free for a while.

[wolfos3d]

I can't see that as something I would be able to do. If both people consent to it I don't see a problem with it. I doubt that I personally would.

[Against The Tide]

Only if there were big problems in my current relationship and it was going to end soon - I once went to Thailand and was offered 'it' by some of the most beautiful women (and men) I've ever seen. I was faithful to my current gf and didn't stray, when I got back she dumped me as the three weeks I'd been away she found another guy.... I kicked myself so hard after that...

[CoolJ]

I pass those opportunities up even when I'm single... so no... it just doesn't appeal to me...

[Bluewillow]

No. Under no circumstance would I even consider being unfaithful to my husband. Not a chance in hell. lol To each their own; if two consenting adults agree that if such and such happened they'd go along with it or whatever, that's their business, but even if Johnny Depp (for example) himself sauntered up to me and suggested we have a fling, even that wouldn't sway me. lol I am 100% dedicated to my hubby and our marriage. :)

[nightchild]

you know to me when you say you love someone then no matter the temptation you should remain strong. Love is very meaningful to me and to break that would be wrong and would have to question yourself did i really love them in the first place?

[bbnflpn]

nope i wouldnt, and i have passed up an oppertunity like that. all of the other relationships i had before i would have.

[Everwynd]

Nope. I think if you do that you are saying the relationship you are in should be over.

[RhiannynWildseed]

I said no, and while I don't think I ever cheated, I know my ex would say I did. I guess it boils down to what you consider cheating.

I met this guy while I was still with my ex. The relationship with my ex had been sour for 2 years, so I wasn't adverse to moving on. So I started talking with this guy and found out that he was interested too. So one night after he and I had been talking, I went to get in my car to go home, and he kissed me. And I'm not talking a little peck on the cheek or a cutesy little smooch. I'm talking a "knock-your-socks-off-pucker-up-and-sigh" type kiss.

So I went home and told my ex to pack his **** and get.

Of course, it all came out in the persuing argument that I kissed the other guy, and you would have thought from the fit he threw that my ex believed that I just dropped my pants and had at this guy. Didn't happen, but he seemed to think it did.

Oh well. I still dumped him, and about 2 1/2 months to 3 months later I married the other guy. Nine years later we're still married, so I think I made a good choice.

[nightchild]

I said no, and while I don't think I ever cheated, I know my ex would say I did. I guess it boils down to what you consider cheating.

I met this guy while I was still with my ex. The relationship with my ex had been sour for 2 years, so I wasn't adverse to moving on. So I started talking with this guy and found out that he was interested too. So one night after he and I had been talking, I went to get in my car to go home, and he kissed me. And I'm not talking a little peck on the cheek or a cutesy little smooch. I'm talking a "knock-your-socks-off-pucker-up-and-sigh" type kiss.

So I went home and told my ex to pack his **** and get.

Of course, it all came out in the persuing argument that I kissed the other guy, and you would have thought from the fit he threw that my ex believed that I just dropped my pants and had at this guy. Didn't happen, but he seemed to think it did.

Oh well. I still dumped him, and about 2 1/2 months to 3 months later I married the other guy. Nine years later we're still married, so I think I made a good choice.

sounds like you did! good for you!

[Storm Moon]

I don't think I ever could. I love my bf and myself too much to cause either of us pain like that. We've been together for close to 4 years now. Of course, we've had some rocky times, but I don't believe any relationship can be perfect all the time. It's life.

[Cynyr]

So far, Im the only "yes" vote... O_o

Not any more :cheers:

[ViolinGoddess]

Well, I really don't make it a habit of sleeping with people I've either never met or just met. Even if it were Johnny Depp (oooh) or David Boreanez or James Marsters. However, if they asked me out on a date, I take it in a second.


Violin Goddess

[Cynyr]

Well, I really don't make it a habit of sleeping with people I've either never met or just met. Even if it were Johnny Depp (oooh) or David Boreanez or James Marsters. However, if they asked me out on a date, I take it in a second.


Violin Goddess

and if they asked you (very smoooothly) to bed?

[WiccanGoddess]

I voted 'no', but it depends on the circumstances, the who, and/or the what. If it were Anthony Rapp, Emma Watson, Keira Knightley, or Orlando Bloom coming up to me and entering into a relationship, I'd probably take it, if even it lasted only one night. If it were a friend, I'd say no, unless I were already in an open relationship on both party counts.When I am with someone, I stay true.

[Marcasite]

I was unfaithful once. It sucked. Never again.
Besides, I really don't like sex all that much unless I'm reaallly comfortable with the person in the first place.
I'm just so happy in my relationship I wouldn't want to do anything that even had a chance of jinxing it

[nightchild]

you know what in all the relationships i have been in some of them they were unfaithful and i found out about it. and i wish that i had been unfaithful to them so they would know what it felt like but my heart would never allow it.

[eclecticaurora]

I voted no...I just couldn't do it! I can't stand the thought of cheating on my DH. Just thinking about this question freaks me out. My husband is so amazing and I couldn't stand losing him. One thing I told him is that he is my other half that I never knew I had so if I would lose him I would be missing my other half. I love that man and I stand by my vows to him.

[Jolixte]

Probably. I'm easy to seduce. 8O

[~Owl~]

Well, I cheated, and didn't read through all the posts, I just skipped to QuickReply,and here it is. I did vote no...

But...*sheepish gin*, since I'm now separated, I'm free to do anything. But at the time, if Brad Pitt came into my bedroom with nothing on but a smile...well...

[Tanya]

No. not even if he would never find out. The most important person would know I was a heel... Me.

I like looking in the mirror and liking myself and I can't imagine sex with anyone being better than that.

[Morr]

No. Never.

I a 100% faithful to my husband.

[Selenite]

No, I could never do that... I spent so much time longing for a relationship with my boyfriend, and it was months before I ever got the courage to actively follow my heart, so to speak. Why would I ever throw all that away for something so emotionally meaningless to me?

[BlueWaves]

when you realize we are nothing more then spirits inside vessels...things change a bit lol :)

[NiftyWings]

Nope. When I make a commitment to someone, I keep it. If the relationship is so crappy I need to have my needs met through someone else, my partner's damn well going to know it and have plenty of opportunity to work with me on rectifying the situation. So by the time another person would even come into the picture, the relationship would be dead anyway....in other words, nothing left to be faithful to.

[Silver Crow2]

when you realize we are nothing more then spirits inside vessels...things change a bit lol :)


I am not sure how you mean this....but that is exactly why I could not cheat....even if I would never get caught, even if it was Morgan Fairchild covered in chocolate syrup, even if this, even if that, even if this other thing.

And yes, it is cheating if you made the promise to be exclusive. If you didn't make that promise, if you are up front about it when the relationship is entered into, if you know your partner is not assuming you are monogamous...that is different.

I am so monogamous, I don't even fantasize about two girls at once...crazy huh? Some of us are like that you know.

[Silver Crow2]

Nope. When I make a commitment to someone, I keep it. If the relationship is so crappy I need to have my needs met through someone else, my partner's damn well going to know it and have plenty of opportunity to work with me on rectifying the situation. So by the time another person would even come into the picture, the relationship would be dead anyway....in other words, nothing left to be faithful to.

Exactly. However, the relationship should be ENDED if there is, as you put it, "nothing left to be faithful to".

[nightchild]

The thing i have learned it doesn't do me any good to do what is right, cause i keep getting stepped on but a friend of mine that is very close to me (she is a wonderful person) isn't faithful in her relationships, and maybe she just can't, i don't know but the guys that she is in the relationship with adore her. so it makes no sense. i am faithful so they cheat on me and she's not faithful and she's adored. What is wrong with this picture!

[DarkDancer]

Quick question to all you people who say you have been in this situation...so, you were walking down the street and a bunch of incredibly hot naked people, walked up and invited you to have sex with them? Seriously? Does this happen often???? I really need to get out more.

[Wandering_Soul]

Quick question to all you people who say you have been in this situation...so, you were walking down the street and a bunch of incredibly hot naked people, walked up and invited you to have sex with them? Seriously? Does this happen often???? I really need to get out more.
No kidding - me too!

If you were going to be unfaithful and knew it - what would be the point of making a committment in the first place?

Maybe I am missing the point here...

[Invidosa]

nope, I've been on the other side of the cheating situation one too many times to do that to anyone else. not cool. I figure if I want to be with someone else I will just end it with my current partner first, I've done it before, and as crappy as it may be to go through, it's better than really really hurting someone.

[Carla O'Harris]

Given the right set of circumstances... anyone will do anything.

Not if the person has honor.

[Rosana]

No. If I'm in a relationship, sex is unseparable from love.

[Bethra]

Nope since its not about sex for me anyway. Generaly my switch doesn't get flicked by looks alown and it takes a good long while to actualy get me to the point of wanting someone that badly. Besides why do something behind his back when I could just tell him it was what I wanted and we could work it out?

[nightchild]

Not if the person has honor.


That is the problem today not a whole lot of people have honor. They only think of themselves and what they are not getting and not thinking about their partner.

[mayu]

Never,

have seen my family go through the wrenching process of divorce because my 'father' couldnt say no, its selfish and unforgivable.

[Aleannah]

I can say I personally have never been unfaithful in any of my relationships. However, I have been on the receiving end of said unfaithfulness, and it's not anything I would ever want to put anyone through.

[Starlight*Rains]

the way I look at it, if you have the urge to sleep with someone else, or are not getting what youy need at home, then the realtionship is not worth it. I would dump the person first them sleep with that other person.

_handclapp

[NewPhoenix]

I neither would nor could cheat. Who would I be cheating? What would I be cheating them out of? No, if I wanted to be with someone I would just go ahead and be with them, and with full disclosure to my husband... with no funk or weirdness whatsoever. We have total openness and trust with each other and have no need or desire to sneak around or lie. I really really love that kind of openness and honesty!

[LostSheep]

No. If I'm in a relationship, sex is unseparable from love.

yeah, that's kinda what i think too.

We sheep are very loyal you know.

:/