Should I/do I have the right to be offened?

[AstraSkye]

I realize this is horribly off topic, but as of right now, this is my only outlet.

I received an e-mail today, and I need help to figure out whether I should be offended and angered, or not. As of now, I'm angered to the point where I'll cry myself to sleep... Help!

Alright, background story. Since the beginning of this year, I'm building and managing a website for an association. Besides the website, I'm not involved with the association. My dad is, though, and that's why I got this job. Now, I'd gladly update their site whenever new material is produced or changes are made in the organisation - there are few things I hate more than badly updated sites - BUT in order to do that, the information has to reach me. It doesn't. This is where the e-mail (sent by the chairman of the board) comes in.

This is a word-for-word literal translation. My comments are in brackets.

"Hello!
The pictures shown on the website must be correct. They aren't now. The board consists of a total of 10 people, seven members and three substitutes. There are only nine. This can't wait any longer. It has to be right."

[My dad mentioned breifly that there was one more person that had to be added to the page with pictures of board members, but
so far, I haven't gotten a picture of him/her, let alone a name. Frankly, this isn't my problem. I can't manage the website without information, and I'm not going to ask for information (I shouldn't have to ask, IMO - it's their website, I just build it!). I've told my dad - and it's even written on the first page of the website - that any material can be e-mailed to me. My e-mail address is pretty much plastered all over the site.]

"I was looking for the address today but couldn't find it. It would be good if it was somewhere on the page."

[What address?]

"Webmaster sounds charming, but for all of us who are not so much into the IT-nomenclature, it would make it easier if it said 'Contact us' or something similar instead."

[It says webmaster because the link leads to the e-mail address of the webmaster (me). Is webmaster such a difficult word to understand? After all, the word IS mentioned on 98% of all websites on the internet. If I put "contact us", all kinds of people will e-mail me all kinds of questions (some do already), which I can't answer, since I have nothing to do with this association. I suggested we'd put together a contact list and put it on the site, but that suggestion never left my home, it seems.]

It's worth to mention that the chairman's son took care of the website before me, and then it was left to rot for two years until the responsibility was handed over to me. Now it's actually updated regularly, and suddenly, something minor "can't wait", when the site once was left without updates for two years. Anyone following me here? I guess I'm just sad because I felt her tone was very harsh. I just feel unfairly treated, because I get the blame for things that I can't control.

I forwarded the e-mail to my dad with some comments. I later saw that the chairman sent the e-mail to both me and my dad, so he can might as well sort this out. He knows her better.

*cries*

[Chibi-Fallon]

This guy seem rather like a jacka$$ to me. I wouldn't go to the trouble of being offened however. He's just annoying.

[Lunacie]

Sounds to me like the chairman was having a bad day (week?) and took it out on you. It's probably a good idea to let your Dad talk to her since he's actually more involved. You might point out to him first the things you pointed out here so he can be specific with her about her complaints. I don't think this actually has anything to do with you or the job you've been doing. Sorry you're the one catching all the flak. Huggles from me to you (((Astra))).

[AstraSkye]

Thank you guys :) I'm "happy" (lack of better word) to see I wasn't the only one to interpret her e-mail in such a way...

I guess I have to "sleep on it", and then see if I still react the same way. But yes, I'll definitely let my dad deal with this. He won't be happy if he notices I'm angry/offended (he has a problem with negative feelings), but if that situation arises, I'll just have to explain myself.

(((((you guys))))) :)

[Erincelt]

See your responses, the ones you gave us in the form of commentary? That's what you need to say back to them. Maybe reworded slightly, but tell them: "Hey, I have to be told what you want, I don't have midnight visions that tell me everything you need on the site." I've had to deal with that kind before.. and the kind that change their minds every other day, about everything. I could strangle them sometimes.

Calm and steadfast, tell them what you require, and remind them that its not what you'd like, its what you need, and if they can't deliver then neither can you.

I can't stand ungrateful clients, can you tell?

[Rainx]

Welcome to the wonderful world of web design.

Hah.

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by Erincelt

See your responses, the ones you gave us in the form of commentary? That's what you need to say back to them. Maybe reworded slightly, but tell them: "Hey, I have to be told what you want, I don't have midnight visions that tell me everything you need on the site." I've had to deal with that kind before.. and the kind that change their minds every other day, about everything. I could strangle them sometimes.

Calm and steadfast, tell them what you require, and remind them that its not what you'd like, its what you need, and if they can't deliver then neither can you.

I can't stand ungrateful clients, can you tell?

If I just dared to... Our personalities clash, so I can really see the upcoming fight before my eyes (which in turn will lead to me giving up on the site, and then the entire association hates me because they no longer have a site *paranoia*). I did, however, give my dad pretty much the same responses (though not as angry-sounding), so I hope I'll get through somehow. Or else I'll just have to wait them out, until they realize I can't read their minds (though I wish I could!! :D)

[Xander67]

LOL Rainx :)

yep Astra, didnt you know you were supposed to be able to read minds and know what they wanted before they even told you ? :(

it sounds to me like the Chairman is more PC illiterate than she immagines her clients heheh..

you have every right to be upset, but I feel you are being wise in seeking advice and sending the letter to your dad! Good luck :)

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by Xander67

LOL Rainx :)

yep Astra, didnt you know you were supposed to be able to read minds and know what they wanted before they even told you ? :(

Well, I've met such people before, in different situations, but I honestly thought it would be better this time, since I've *repeatedly* said they just have to e-mail material to me, and I'll upload it... It works with my dad most of the time (thanks to him and I, the association HAS a site, because he has provided me with tonnes...), but as you say in this quote:


it sounds to me like the Chairman is more PC illiterate than she immagines her clients heheh..

...the chairman is an idiot.


you have every right to be upset, but I feel you are being wise in seeking advice and sending the letter to your dad! Good luck :)

Well, he has much better hand with her than I do... ;) They get along, while I've just wanted to scream the few times I've met her. :T

[Xander67]

lol :)

[Jeleia]

Ugh. I know how you're feeling AstraSkye, my boss is like that sometimes...

[mol]

Just seems like a user to me. :D

[Medea]

Ahh. :( This sounds very familiar to me. When I first got out of college, I worked for a non-profit organization that had a rotting website. I offered to fix it up for them, like the idiot I am, and nearly the same exact thing happened to me. All of the board members were over 50, some over 60 or even 70. They new they should have a website but they had no idea what that really meant and it was like pulling teeth to get them to give me the information I needed to complete it. Eventually I left for other reasons (other, but similar ;) ) and several of the board members called my house one night to accuse me of stealing their only copies of some pictures. There was no scanner there. I had had to send them to Computer Services to be scanned and they were mailed back to them before I even left. Ugh. They had no comprehension of the process. They thought it was all like magic.

I'm really sorry to hear about this. Maybe this thread can be a warning to anyone else who wants to do this out of the goodness of their hearts :D ;)

[Thistle]

I agree with Erincelt. You have to tell them, calmly and pleasantly, that you have to be given the info they want on their site so you can put it there. That should be obvious, but . . .

Goddess knows how many idiots there are in the world of work!!

Good luck!

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by Medea

Ahh. :( This sounds very familiar to me. When I first got out of college, I worked for a non-profit organization that had a rotting website. I offered to fix it up for them, like the idiot I am, and nearly the same exact thing happened to me. All of the board members were over 50, some over 60 or even 70. They new they should have a website but they had no idea what that really meant and it was like pulling teeth to get them to give me the information I needed to complete it. Eventually I left for other reasons (other, but similar ;) ) and several of the board members called my house one night to accuse me of stealing their only copies of some pictures. There was no scanner there. I had had to send them to Computer Services to be scanned and they were mailed back to them before I even left. Ugh. They had no comprehension of the process. They thought it was all like magic.

I'm really sorry to hear about this. Maybe this thread can be a warning to anyone else who wants to do this out of the goodness of their hearts :D ;)

Bwaha, maybe I should just give the site back to her son (who doesn't even go near the computer anymore!), and then she'll realize what a favor I'm doing!!

At first she wanted the association to pay me about $100 (probably less) for building the site... until I found an e-mail where the chairman told her son that he was getting $300 for building the site. So I said "$300 or no site". As far as I know, they aren't anywhere near paying me that money (my dad's getting it all because I owe him money, but it's the principle).

The age group is about the same. The youngest board member looks 30, but the rest look 55+ (I know for a fact at least one person is retired (above 65) - my dad).

[Semele]

I have watched my husband deal with the frustration associated with web design for several long years. It seems to just go with the territory. The way I see it, folks have a successful business and need a website to promote etc. They are obviously not educated in the fine arts of web design or they would do it themselves. I think sometimes they get snippy and demanding because they are used to contolling all aspects of thier business, thus their success, and this is an area where they have no control.

I can understand the frustration over such things as the needed content etc to complete your job. However, one of the things that annoys me about my husband is that he gets very easily frustrated with folks who seem to have a lot of questions etc. He is always rolling his eyes and commenting that he agreed to do a specific job and here the client is wanting him to teach him how to use the services he has provided. To me he just gets a little cocky and impatient. We have had many discussions about his elitist attitude! :cool:




Originally posted by AstraSkye

...the chairman is an idiot.



If you really feel this way, maybe you shouldn't be doing the work. You can't change the fact that they are ignorant of your skills etc, but you can change whether you do the job and put up with what you consider unacceptable.

[Xentor]

IMHO, you have every right to be offended.

But,

you don't need to let that chairman know. Why not let that chairman think you're going out of your way to help them? Like Semele offered, these people want to believe they're in control. So, let them.

For instance, they demand you add the picture of the tenth board member to the website. Then you could reply something like:
"Oh, I really do need your help with this. Could you have him/her send me a picture? Preferably in colour / black and white and about that (whatever) size?" (Don't ask the chairman to send the picture, ask them to have the other member send their picture. Delegation rules.)

This way, you have it both ways:
1) The chairman thinks you need them, which hightens their self-esteem;
2) You finally get what you need, the tenth picture to add to the content.

Mind you, a chairman isn't your average user. A user can be explained stuff. Chairpeople care about their own position and the organisation in general. They rarely care for technical detail. (I say rarely because you might just meet the chairman that does have an interest in webmastering.)

As for the address the chairman was referring to, in case you didn't understand that: they expected the website showed an address through which the organisation and preferably their pr-person or the board itself can be contacted. They probably didn't expect they most visible address to be yours. (Just guessing yours is the most visible, since it's plastered all over.)

In case you got that already, no offense intended.

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by Xentor

As for the address the chairman was referring to, in case you didn't understand that: they expected the website showed an address through which the organisation and preferably their pr-person or the board itself can be contacted. They probably didn't expect they most visible address to be yours. (Just guessing yours is the most visible, since it's plastered all over.)

In case you got that already, no offense intended.

That's what I guessed... But - the association is a small interest organisation for people interested in wind power. Most (all?) members live in my town, or in its surroundings. There is no actual PR-person - it's not needed since the public doesn't have much of an interest in them. They have no housing. They usually rent a room in my housing area for their meetings. There was no address on their former site. The only visitors to the site ( It's in Swedish, but hey, take a look *link* (http://www.lundavind.se/)) are a few members of the associationorganisation-thingie. And I doubt the chairman would like her home address put on the internet. And at last - no one ever asked me to put any addresses on the website. Not the slightest hint. So while it makes sense, it still doesn't.

No offense taken. :)

[Kaylara]

I worked in property management, and dealt on a regular basis with Associations. Some people are just anal retentive. I would just send him an email saying that his suggestions are welcome and duly noted. Also say that you'll get right on it as soon as you are provided the correct information.

Try not to let them get to you...

Kaylara