Alternatives to Engagement Rings ....

[RubyRose]

Okay, yes this may sound weird comin' from a gal that is engaged ... but Rhyce has yet to pick out the perfect ring .... :lol:

Anyway, he asked me the other day "Does it have to be a ring?"
Now, being a kind of traditionalist when it comes to this sort of this, I immediately thought he was mad for even suggesting it, but living in the time that we are, I thought ... "well, could it?" and "would it have the same significance, to a ring?"

If it is possibly, could you kind people please give me your most honest opinion ... it would be much appreciated ...

[Ahautenites]

Personally, I'm more inclined to wear an engagement bracelet instead. But I'm odd anyway. :)

[MoonDust]

Rings are nice, they’re traditional and honestly many are quite beautiful. But if you’re like me you’ll end up losing it. I do a lot with my hands I just know if I were ever engaged it would slip off or something. For that reason alone I’d want a necklace. But then again I have a thing about precious stones. While quite beautiful I would have a problem with wearing one. NO diamonds or rubies for this girl, though I do like emeralds… forget it I’m confusing myself. I guess the point is anything can be offered as an engagement token as long as though was put into it and it was chosen to you

[Flar's Freyja]

Money was really tight for us, so he gave me a key to his house instead ;)

[Erincelt]

Originally posted by Freyja

Money was really tight for us, so he gave me a key to his house instead ;)

Iiiinteresting... because that's what me and mine did. :D

[RubyRose]

LOL ... ah I already have the key to Rhyce's place ...

[~*Ginger*~]

hmmmm.... well my first (ages ago)husband was penacostal, his folks didn't believe in jewlery...so he got away with no ring...
This past engagement another gave me a ring, and i wore it all the time, still have the ring. (he didn't ask for it back and I didn't offer it back, heck! It was bought for me, it's mine!) It is an anniversary ring though, since I do prefer something that doesn't really stick up.
I like jewlery, I just really wear it when the mood strikes or if for something special. It's not something I "have" to have. Especially if money is tight anyway...

Awhile back, I worked at a store and got tired of guys hitting on me all the time, so I went to Wal-Mart and bought a simple gold band cost me all of about $15.00, i wore it for months. It served it's purpose.
I see nothing wrong with a "starter ring" like the gold band above to start with...later you can always go get another if you want...they are hollow though so no mechanicing while wearing it! ;)
And in my opinion, i see nothing wrong with a braclet or necklace either... if he wants to give you a token of his love...

And Best Wishes! :D

[The Dreamer]

Well, my brother served time on an army base in Germany and he tells me that over there you give a boquet (not sure if I spelled that right) of roses as an engagement gift instead of a ring.

[Chibi-Fallon]

I've always wanted a necklace with some kind of a natural stone, or a silver celtic knot ring (no stone).
The past few boyfriends I've had seemed kind of offened by that for some odd reason. :rolleyes: Not that I'd ever consider getting married to any of them in the first place.

[RubyRose]

hhmmm. I'll give Rhyce credit ... he has actually given me two rings since he's asked me to marry him ... they just haven't been "engagement rings" ... but the last one ... it's white gold, seven small diamonds and a ruby ... I kinda consider my engagement ring ... I think the main reason it's bothering me is because I don't think my mum believes me when I say I'm engaged ... when I told her, she was like "oh, well if you actually are engaged, when you get a ring, we can throw you an engagement party." Right, mum ... now I'm not sure I want the whole thing to be mad a fuss off ... Rhyce got really stressed when I told him I told her ... he keeps bringing up the "ring" topic ... but alas no ring ... I might suggest the necklace idea to him ... after all he was the one to bring up the "alternatives to engagement ring" idea ... I wonder how well it will go over on my parents ... then again ... they don't really know "me" of late ... they still have no clue about all this wiccan stuff ... I think I may keep it that way ...

Well I'm rambing, sorry ....

[Autumn]

Will Mum consider you engaged when you set a wedding date?

After that, one of your friends or your Mum's friends can throw you an American style bridal shower instead of an engagement party. When you do this you generally have a better idea where you will live and what household goods you may need. That might satisfy your Mum's apparent need for a party.

I had a nice 5 diamond band for an engagement ring, the company we bought it from has gone bust and it's dropped a diamond so I am not wearing it and have yet to fix it or replace it. Once you have a wedding band it doesn't matter. You guys might also forgo the engagement ring and buy nicer wedding bands instead, rounded edges are more comfortable and a heavyier band more stable.

But that's just my opinion...

[MoonDust]

just playing devils advocate, but maybe mum’s in denial. you know the whole “baby getting married” thing? Then again maybe I’m just guessing. :D

[Cev'aq]

If you're comfortable with an engagement-ring-alternative, go for it.

Since mom's set on an engagement ring, and you "kinda consider" the diamonds and ruby ring to be an engagement ring, wear it when you're with mom, and call it your engagement ring. :D

[cydira]

Well, let me think...

Having recently gotten engaged myself, I was bombarded w/ the whole issue of "the ring". The type of stone doesn't have to be a diamond, it can be on that has signifigant meaning to you, like your birthstone, his birthstoen, the stone of the month that you met, etc. The engagment gift doesn't necessarily have to be a ring and he doesn't have to be the only one to give an engagement gift.

You can give him one too. The biggest thing is that the engagement gift has meaning. If his giving you the key to his home has all the meaning of an engagement gift behind it, tada, it's his engagement gift to you. :)

For my part, I gave my fiancee a sword. Now some folks may raise an eyebrow or two at that, but it's in keeping with what he feels is his responcibility as my future husband. I know that he feels that he's responcible for seeing to my safety and for protecting me and what ever children we have. The sword is my symbolic way of accepting him in that role. He gave me an heirloom diamond as part of my ring. He knew that I value family ties and I place a great deal of importance on heritage. He also knows that I feel that the ring is symbolic of our unending love for each other. (I'm also a sucker for shiny jewelery! :T Hence his nickname for me, raccoon! :T)

The same holds true for the wedding band. A friend of mine has a lovely story about her grandparents and her grandmother's wedding band. They were married during WWII and at the time, neither could afford wedding bands, he couldn't afford an engagement ring for her even. So, they made do with out and engagement ring and her wedding band was the thin band that went around cigars. Later on, I think it was for their 20th anniversary, he bought her a *platinum* wedding band. She put it in her jewelery box and kept wearing that little cigar band, even after he had passed on. She was asked about it and she told my friend "That's the one he put on my finger and it doesn't come off until he takes it off me." :)

If your mom gets upset, maeby you could pass that little story on to her. That couple was married for just shy of 60 years, a fatal heart attack separated them. Just something to keep in mind.

PS: I think the couple was in their late teens when they got married, I don't remember exactly. All I know is that the wedding happened right before he was shipped out and there was only one picture taken. The picture from the wedding is very ... plain. He wore his uniform and she wore a simple dress, but they were both just glowing with happiness. :)

[Flutterby_whispers]

I'm not big into jewlery unless it has meaning to me or is very simple. I'm also a massage therapist so most of the time I can't wear much jewlery anyways lol

The ring that I have on now (my wedding band) is the same ring that my now husband put on when he asked me to marry him, it's a gold claddaugh ring w/ a braided band, simple, yet beautiful & it carries a lot of history (he's irish born & raised as are my family), love & sentiment. I then found, out of pure luck? perhaps lol a ring in his size that matched mine, so we wear matching rings & have done so since we've been together, nearly 7 years now.

I think anything would do for an engagement gift, so long as it's meaningful to the two of you, who cares what anyone else thinks ~ I know easier said than done lol :)

[RubyRose]

Thanks everyone, for the idea's, I think for now the mere thought of getting a ring will be just that. Rhyce is a little stressed over the idea that I told my mum, and has got this idea in his head that everything will change once we go public with our announcement. He knows t he "date" I wish to get married on and now even that's making him jittery ... I don't know ... I suggested it once in jest and now I really want to get married on that date ... (18 Feb 2005) wishful thinking I know, but a girl can dream ...