I have a very strange question

[ladylasarya]

A friend of mine did a love spell on a guy that she's been interested in a few weeks ago, but despite all the things they have in common, how friendly they are with each other, and how perfect they would be for each other, he doesn't seem to be responding romantically. We think he could just be shy, or maybe he's gay, because he's quite a bit older than her and he's still single and doesn't seem to date anybody, but anyway, my question is : What would a love spell do if it's casted on a gay man by a straight woman? Would he start to fantasize about her, and decide that maybe he's not gay, or would he stay gay? Could there possibly be a karmic backlash if he does change? I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone by this, I'm not homo-phobic or anything. It's just something I'm curious about. I'm also not condoning the use of love spells, because I'm personally suspicious of them.

Lasarya

[cydira]

1.) Be *careful* what you ask for.

2.) Avoid unless *absolutely* necessary

3.) Focus on "mundane" methods

It is my opinion that love spells are *dangerous* things and to be avoided like the plauge. I know of ones that work, but I'm not going to use them *ever* again. I've had too many bad experiences as a result, so I stay as far from them as possible.

In general, I think that the only kind of love spell that is ethical to apply is one that's consented to, and it is an informed consent by all parties. Aside from that, spells for *self* love are fine. I view those more on par with spells to assist one in boosting their self-esteem. I really feel that the best policy in dealing with emotions of any sort is honesty.

If your friend is attracted to this gentleman, encourage her to tell him and inquire if her romantic feelings are returned in kind. It may be the case that they are, but this gentleman is uncertian if she is interested in him. An indication that his feelings are not of a romantic inclination doesn't mean that a friendship is doomed because one person has romantic feelings and the other has platonic feelings. It may be a bit challenging at first, but it is possible to have a deep and meaningful friendship even in the light of such a situation.

Love spells cast on individuals who are not aware of the spell or have agreed to it is inviting trouble and I believe are a form of attempted rape. Now, I know that I've just opened up a hornets nest with that comment, but before you all start flaming me, read on. I believe that if one tries to force another to feel something that they don't it is a violation of their integral sense of self. Rape is such a violation, thus it is possible to argue that casting a spell to force another to love you is a form of rape by this logic. If it is not rape, then it is clearly a form of abuse because it is the manipulation of another with out their consent or will for the purpose of achieving your own goals, treating the individual as an object.

Aside from that, just casting a spell for some one to love you is equally if not more dangerous. It is this seemingly harmless type of spell that landed me in a great deal of difficulty, which I'm still reeling from the effects of 8 yrs after that relationship ended. If there is not a *specific* focus, it is possible for that spell to come back in any possible way, including *very* harmful. I am firmly convinced that the abusive relationship that I was in was a result of just such an open ended spell that I had cast when I was experiencing an intense desire for a signifigant other.

Sexuality is not to be assumed as a prerequiste for a given type of spell or results of a given type of spell. Is it possible for this gentleman to be homosexual, yes. It is equally possible for him to be: heterosexual, asexual, bisexual, or some other orientation that I haven't mentioned. It's also equally possible that this gentleman finds that individuals outside of a certian age group are either unappealing or outside of his ethically accepted options for a signifigant relationship. Also, this individual could be in a relationship and just refusing to discuss it.

None of these things are certian and they won't just present themselves with a spell or a cursory examination of his person. These are questions that need to be discussed taictfully between your friend and him. I don't have any advice on how to start such a discussion. I've had discussions of that nature, usually they were started with a painfully blunt question, usually bungled by myself. These are uncomfortable discussions to have, they make you feel very vulnerable and leave your emotions rather exposed. But they are well worth the risk if they are ventured with dignity, honesty, and compassion between everyone involved in the discussion.

Try talking it out before resorting to magic. It's simpler and safer in the long run.

[Theres]

Originally posted by cydira
2.) Avoid unless *absolutely* necessary

what could that necessity possibly be?

and ladylasarya...
if the guy isn't interested (for what ever reason), then why can't you just respect that and move on?
what makes you think that your interference will make things better?

[Rainx]

It would make for a very uncomfortable situation anyway. I don't think it'd change his preference, but it might cause problems (maybe he'd start to be confused, or be jealous of her or stalk her even if he isn't sexually attracted, etc.).

[Rainx]

Incidentally, that a spell hasn't worked in a couple weeks might only mean that it hasn't worked yet.

[WillowSageheart]

Love and sexual preference are by no means synonymous. I would worry more about casting a spell to manipulate another's emotions. I think Cydira's "attempted rape" is right on the money.

In my opinion, the only "safe" love spell is one that will help guide you to the person you are meant to be with... your soulmate. My advice would be to reverse the spell as soon as possible.

[Naillosotarrain]

Or any other type of spell affecting an emotion for that matter.

Never under any circumstance.

Remember, what goes around comes around, it's the univesal kharmic law. Casting spells that have a direct affect on someone elses emotions severley upsets the kharmic balance. And when doing spells of this nature, you end up doing more harm than good; and this comes from personal experience, while I may have never cast a love spell per say, I have played with emotions. Emotions and spells just don't mix, and both sides will eventually be hurt in one way or another.

I am in agreeance with WillowSageheart here on this one. Reverse the spell as soon as possible. As for why the spell has had no effect so far; perhaps it has not had enough time to take effect, or perhaps it was just not meant to work. Either way, please try to attempt a reversal.

[She-Arna]

While I do agree love spells aren't something to play around with, there's a theory that you canot bend someone's will in a direction they don't want it to go. So if someone casts a spell so she and the guy she likes will get together and it works, he must have liked her back.

What do you reckon?

[Naillosotarrain]

While that is a theory, I have seen it proven wrong, and proven it wrong myself, too many times to count.

[Tarbh Nathroch]

Love spells :dis:

I don't mean to hassle ya but…You need to tell your friend to suck it up put aside the insecurity issues put down the wand and pick up the phone and lay her feelings out to the guy.

This is not meant as a flame, just some tuff love

[WitchJezebel]

Tarbh - Couldn't agree with you more; found that out the hard way. It seems hard to do, but it's a heck of alot easier than going around in circles trying to make someone do something they may not be into. Besides, once it's all on the table - you have your answers.

[Grey]

Okay, now visuallise the most disgusting, pain in the ass, rude, and drop dead ugly person you can think of, now imagine that they get a crush on you.... would you really want them to use a love spell? and if you couldnt stomach it on yourself how can you possible consider it on someone else?

[Azure]

She-Arna, I agree with you, but with the caveat, back to several other posters that what goes around comes around - you put the energy out there, it's going to come back to you in some way.

I've dealt with any number of foolish people who've tried "come to me right this minute" love spell - heck I tried it myself as a teen. Inevitably, something goes wrong when you try to interfere with someone else's free will, but it's rarely anything you'd expect. Attempting to manipulate other people is a bad idea - but I also believe that the universe doesn't give any random foolish person the ability to mess up someone else's life just because they don't return a crush and the fool chooses to cast a love spell.

If nothing has happened after casting this spell, it may be that nothing will and there's no interest, or as Rain said above, it may be that the time is just not right and he will discover he's interested later when the circumstances are better - but either way, I'd go in a do a ritual changing the spell so that nothing is done to violate his free choice.

[ladylasarya]

I'm curious, how would one safely reverse a love spell without making it so that the person now hates them instead?

Lasarya

[Grey]

Ladyasara, wouldnt a simple banishing work? It hink theres an example in simple rune 3.

Naillosotarrain- what do you mean youve proven it wrong?

[madrone]

The opposite of love isn't hate, so you have no worries there. You can just make a simple apology to the dieties you invoked in the spell...say "I screwed up...learned my lesson. Sorry"

The Gods have a sense of humor, honest. :)

While love spells can be very dangerous, intention is key. If your friend understands how inappropriate it is to bend another person's will and sincerely wants to fix it, that may be all that's necessary. Another thing to consider is that any doubts on the part of the person casting the spell can cause it to neutralize. Spells require absolute faith to work in most cases. It could be she sensed on some level that something wasn't right about this.

Good Luck!

Madrone