What would you like to..........

[Earth Walker]

..........know about Transsexualism?

Here are a few good sites.
If you would like to know more, please e-mail me.

http://transsexual.org

http://www.annelawrence.com/twr

http://www.moss-fritch.com/transsexual.htm

http://rachels-web.com

http://www.tslife.com/welcome.html

www.crissywild.com

http://www.genderweb.org/~julie/family/gfam3.html

http://www.symposion.com/ijt/benjamin


To believe what you see is to be deceived.
**********************************
Reject all illusions of social harmony.

[Emerald Sky]

Thank-you Mystique. I only looked at the first link, but it was very informative and helped me to understand not only what transsexual means, but also to get a glimpse at the pain that a transsexual may feel in his/her lifetime. IMO, the more people know about issues like this - real facts - not just what they've heard from others who also don't know the facts - the better the world will be. Like other things, this is an issue of fear of the unknown. People fear things they don't understand, and then condemn what they don't know.

Sephiroth, maybe you should take a look at one of the links to get a better idea of what *really* is involved here. I have a slight feeling that you may be misunderstanding what transsexual means. Not to change your opinion... you're definitely entitled to it, but just to help you be informed.

Mystique, I'm not sure if this would be stepping over the line, but I'm pretty sure I saw a post where you mentioned it before. Would you mind if I asked how you describe yourself? If that's out of line just tell me, and accept my apology.

[Earth Walker]

How would I describe myself?

To start, I knew at the age of 4 that there was something
wrong, which led to confusion, frustation, depression, etc.,
which only got worse as I got older.
I always refused to "act" as a boy, I did not care for sports, or
for any other male activities....always wearing female attire,
being with girls, and I refused to give in no matter what my
mother did to "correct" me.
There were times I got so depressed, that I considered suicide,
but always rejected that.
My mother constantly encouraged the neighbourhood kids
(wherever we were) to beat up the "freak."
At the age of 17, I had had enough of local kids(male) beating
up on me, so I learned to defend myself by learning Aikido.
It took about 5 years before I was able to fight proficiently to
protect myself.
I have lived my entire life as a woman, and since I had my
corrective surgery, all of the guilt, depression, anger, etc.,
have virtually disappeared, but being surrounded by mainstream
society, I occasionally have to use force, unfortunately.
I do not like hurting another person, but I do not like being
physically assaulted either. In that respect, I have to be
careful, because of the police attitudes, and other TS women
have been put in jail and charged with assault and battery
because they defended themselves from attack.
I recently quit volunteering at the 1st United Church, because
of vocal tirades from small minded fools who lived by
spouting idiotology.
In this great "democracy" of Canada, it is still legal to deny
both M2F and F2M transsexuals housing, education, employment,
and access to other public services, etc.
We have no legal protection under either the provincial or
federal Human Rights Code, in short, we are basically denied
the rights of other Canadians, and "citizenship", yet we are
required to accept the same responsibilities, like paying taxes, etc.
In New York, a M2F TS was severely injured in a traffic accident,
and the attending paramedics refused to treat her, and let
her bleed to death on the street, so it is the same in the U.S.
For those in Europe, could you let us know what the situation
is for TS over there? Thanx. M


To believe what you see is to be deceived.
**********************************
Reject all illusions of social harmony.

[Skyebolt]

Thankyou Mystique!!
Your infomation comes like a bolt from the blue, but oh so relavent to me at this time.
Around two months ago a friend of mine told me that he would be undertaking surgery to become female and that hed known that this was his path for around seven years for certain.
I was in no way bothered by this but as we continue to see more of each other i learn of how painful the changes can be, and i had no way to ask without seeming ignorant or creating an awkward situation.
Like when do you refer to him as her?? I started from the moment she announced her intentions.
How do you comfort someones pain when you dont know where the pain is and dont want to seem nosey??
What can i say and what can i do?
I will start by reading the links you gave
once again - thankyou

[Earth Walker]

Originally posted by gunner
i think this subject is one needing a bit of sympathy and understanding. being "transsexual" is not something one chooses to be and it's a hard row to hoe. long before i ever came to this community i had a friend who was "a man in a woman's body" s/he went through a lot of painful surgery to get to where his identity had always been. he's happier now but still dealing with many painful issues from the past.
"gunner"
(personal opinion)

Whoa,Gunner,s/he shows that to you in this case gender is ambigous,while the rest of it is you talking about a female
who you speak of as he.Crossdressers and drag queens are
omni-gendered,but there is nothing ambigous about gender
for transsexual women.The concept of gender as changable is difficult for a hard-wired guy like you to get,but I tell you its
been done before with no hu-hu.This's Mystiques' main squeeze
Ariel tossing off an opinion.

[sherry]

I have frequently posted about one of my best friends who due to his family,has not taken the steps he desires to become the person I know him to be. I do understand the pain involved with the way he says he has to live, and how society treats him.

He has stated frequently if not for his true friends he would not be here. Well that goes 2 ways he is the best friend a girl could have, and when i found out about my husband of 10 years coming out of the closet he was there for me like noone else could ever have been. When I wanted my questions of WHY answered he could explain it to me.

I am very gratefull for my friendship with George and with Mystique as well the threads listed above were to help everyone understand. I have looked thru most of them and although younger members may not be ready for all of the details with the right parental assistance could avoid such judgemental statements. I do not think it was an attempt to sway anyone if read you would understand the choice was not theres to make it was made for them long before they understood it and caused great physical and emotional pain. ooops this got long sorry:)

I only use the word he for George because at this time he is

[gunner]

there was a deliberate transition there, from she, unhappy, to he, happy and i'd describe it the same but with the emphasis shifted to describe the reverse situation. i'm lucky, i'll admit, i get to wake up every morning knowing who i am and the world doesn't kick me in the ass for it. but if you'll note i accept the friend i mentioned as male, as i accept skyebolt's friend as female. the problem is that the language has not yet caught up with describing the world. i am, as you describe, "hard wired male" but that does not also imply that i must "hate" you, mystique, or anyone else not the same as me nor do i hate/fear you (hate begins in fear and you don't "threaten" me so why should i "fear" or "hate" you..., and i don't.) i'm the subject of a few stereotypes too and well aware of it but those who cannot or will not understand me and my life are invited to stay out of it, (this a general statement, not directed at you.) there are things and people in this world i do despise and hate but transgendered and gays are not among them. if you really want to see me lose my temper try discussing the klan and the neo-nazis, that sorry lot i do admit to hating (though that hate is not based on fear but intense disgust, knowing through study exactly what they stand for.) regards.

(personal opinions- not as moderator)

[Earth Walker]

The links are there for helping people better understand
TS, not for shock value, or trying to sway anyone's mind.
All opinions are welcome here, so I hope to hear from more
of you on this topic. :)


To believe what you see is to be deceived.
**********************************
Reject all illusions of social harmony.

[Emerald Sky]

Wow, Mystique, that is really sad. I'm sorry you had to endure that kind of treatment. It's nice to hear that you're happy now. :)

[idusty88]

Thanks for the info Mystique.
May we all be so lucky as to see ignorance and closed mindedness disspelled in our lifetimes; and the pain and suffering that follows from it eradicated.
Maybe it's because we seem to riff off in the same direction on numerous issues that I have felt a sense of indentifing with you Mystique, but I always sensed your energy as feminine.

[Amora]

Wow...I guess I never put much thought into the pain it would cause someone to be born into the wrong sex, so to speak. But I have lived a pretty sheltered life in a small town. I've never encountered a TS to my knowledge, in fact I've only met a few gay people in my life. I'm feel bad that society can't seem to accept you for who you are. It doesn't even sound like your mother was accepting.

I accept everyone...except a**holes!

[sherry]

I find it amazing how small town people are often rude and if possible meaner than large town/city folks. To push someone to the point they would want to bring harm to themselves is a crying shame. My closest friend was indeed pushed to the limit and I have spoken with his family about the way they treat him. I am shocked to find Mystiques Mom, was the one that caused pain to, this is just as his family is. I guess one would think it would be a Father that raised the roof over the changes. I guess I am small town, because I still think of Mothers role being one of calm, considering your childs feelings and helping them grow in the best possible way for them and to develope into a responsible, respected adult who also respects themselves.
Damn I think I would have been a good mom!!:)




I sure miss spell check!!

[Earth Walker]

In the case of TS children, it can be both parents who reject
the child, or one parent, not necessarily the father...and
sometimes the entire family turns cold, or it splits the family
into factions, the same can be said for lesbian/gay children.

My father was Pagan, and he was always giving me encouragement, and he told me to just be myself and
not to worry about what others thought.

My mother and me reconciled about 2 years ago, after being
estranged for about 35 years, and she is accepting of me.
In fact, on her last visit, she proudly introduced me as her
daughter to her friends.
I have 9 other siblings, and 8 have no problems with me...
but my brother Jim becames violent if my name is even
mentioned.
Well, that is his problem.


To believe what you see is to be deceived.
**********************************
Reject all illusions of social harmony.

[Celtic_Angel]

I am glad to hear that your mom had chosen to accept you as you are Mystique. :) That is a beautiful gift that not all are lucky to receive. As for your brother, that is his loss. Too bad he refuses to see that he has a very intelligent sister in you!

I also think that it is neat that you are open enough about your transsexualism to offer information about the topic to the public. I hope that this will help bring about a change of view concerning TS people.

[Earth Walker]

The Trans Alliance Society (TAS) will be hosting a presentation
by BC Human Rights Commissioner, Mary-Woo Sims, on Sunday,
June 17, (1:30 PM), at the Roundhouse Community Centre,
Vancouver, B.C.

Ms. Sims will be talking about trans human rights, past, present,
and future.

Following her presentation, TAS will be hosting a panel
discussion: "The future of the Trans Liberation Movement
in B.C."

For more information contact:

communications@transalliancesociety.org


To believe what you see is to be deceived.
**********************************
Reject all illusions of social harmony.

[bluecat]

I Loves Mystique-s to pieces! (had to try and make it rhyme :D ;) :rolleyes: :eek: )

She's mah buddy! :D ;) :cool:

That's great about the conference. :cool: :) Where there is communication there is hope.

Blue :cool:

[Semele]

On the topic of Mothers and other family members not accepting us for who we are, I good rant for hours. I'll try not to though.

My brother that lives with us, not my "true" borther in the sense that we have totally different parents...figure that out if you can ;) , his own parents turned their back on him about a year or so ago when he finally told them he was gay. He and his mom always had a great relationship and now that has all been tossed out the door. We too came from a small town where he never really felt "normal" but was brainwashed by the community to think that gay folks were wrong. When we moved here he begin to see that there were others like him that were leading perfectly happy lives being who they really are.

When he finally told his mom because he hated hiding his true identity from her, she condemmed him for it and told him he was going to hell and that she would not have anything to do with him until he went to church and prayed for release from this demon. They haven't spoken since then.

She even went so far as to call me up and ask me how I could let someone like that take care of my son. She compared him to a child molester and everything else evil that she could think of. I defended him wholeheartedly, but was simply astonished that someone could completley change their view of someone they love to that of a monster simply by thier sexual orientation.

I have seen in Chris a wall that was put up the very day he told his mother. He is very quick to shut out people who are getting to close for fear of being hurt. He lets Mol, mysellf and Trey in, but few others. My mom has always loved him as her own and introduces him as her son. While this is some relief, it still can't take awy the pain of having his own mom hurt him so. I do know that she too is hurting over this for her own reasons. She really thinks it is wrong. I had just hoped that by now she could come to terms with this issue and open herself back up to him. Afterall her relationship with her son has nothing to do with sex. But, alas, she has to heal herself before she can try to heal him. It is sad that we hurt those who love us most. It also hurts me that no matter how much we love him we can't replace the love he once shared with his mom.

[Emerald Sky]

Originally posted by Mystique
My father was Pagan, and he was always giving me encouragement, and he told me to just be myself and
not to worry about what others thought.

My mother and me reconciled about 2 years ago, after being
estranged for about 35 years, and she is accepting of me.
In fact, on her last visit, she proudly introduced me as her
daughter to her friends.



That's great, Mystique!!! :D :D :D

[MistOfTheSea86]

You have had a life filled with hardship... You deserve a big hug *Gives Mystique a hug* and a huge Cookie! I know what it is like to feel rejected. I have never been beatin on physically but emotionally I have for my Sexuality. It hurts so bad but you get over because you are so strong. Especially you Mystique. I commend you for your courage and strength and give you my full blessings. From this moment on You will have good fortune you know why. BECAUSE WE ALL LOVE YOU. *Everyone gives Mystique hugs*

[Sagittarius]

I have a friend who is a male to female Transsexual and she is so much happier and freer in herself now she lives and is recognized as a woman.

I am sorry that some of you have had to go through what you have done to reach here but I am so glad that you are finding happiness now. I am steeped in admiration for anyone who has the willingness to find who they are, to come to acceptance and to move forward within that.

Brightest Blessings to you all.