I am so freaked out...

[Athena-Nadine]

Part of my recent rant on another thread about rape was emotional--obviously. But it was more emotional than it would usually be.

I spoke to my sister two days ago, and she told me she saw David about two weeks ago. That she spoke to him for about an hour, that he's been looking for me for years now *...rolls eyes...* and that he'd really like to see me. Now, I'm not going to go into the gory details of what happened November 8, 1988, when I was 15 years old, but it took months for some of the bruises to heal, a couple of years for most of the physical scars to heal, and I still haven't completely gotten over the mental wounds (and probably never will as it will always skew my perceptions in some way, no matter how minimal).

So what does my lovely sister do? She tells this man where I am--what state, and what city. Thank all the Gods she doesn't have my address.

I can't even begin to describe how freaked out I've been about this since Monday night. Every time I go somewhere by myself now I'm looking over my shoulder constantly, paranoid that he's going to show up here. I keep trying to tell myself he won't, but who knows what goes on in the minds of someone twisted enough to do what he did to me? Every time my phone rings I jump, and unless it's someone with their own set ring, I'm terrified to look at it, let alone answer it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Police. Court. Restraining Order.

That would be a bit tough considering he hasn't done anything (now), I haven't spoken to him since 1989, I never filed any charges against him, and there are no medical records from back then.

My head's in such turmoil I don't even know what I'm asking for right now, if anything.

Edited for an idiotic error

[Haruka2077]

I am envisioning a strong protective barrier around you... Hopefully if he does manage to get near you he'll have the hell zapped out of him.
Do you have any friends that can keep an eye out for this guy? Do you live alone? It might help to have a male friend record your answering machine message in case he finds your number.
Or some self-defense classes might make you feel safer. And hopefully it's nothing and you don't really have to worry! I had a stalking episode soon after I moved back here by an old boyfriend but luckily it stopped when he found out I live with two guys (one's an ex-Marine).
You'll be in my thoughts.
*hug*

[Marchosias]

What she said.

Semper fi, Itll be all right.

[~*Ginger*~]

oh Nallia, I'm so sorry.
And I totally understand having been in the same sort of circumstance about 10 years ago... and my brother told him where I was, only he did not know he wasn't suppose to tell where I was...
Of course at that time I didn't know anything (not that I know alot now)about witchcraft.

All I could do was go the legal way, and for some reason they make it harder for women to be left alone... :rolleyes:
or they did back then.

I hope everything will be alright for you.

Sometimes just setting your mind to what your gonna do if they mess with you again is enough to keep them away.

if nothing else stick him in the freezer!

((((((HUGS))))))

[LaDaya]

What they said...

Basically, get a man to record your answering machine or at least record a message that lets anyone calling know that you aren't there alone. If you can make sure that you never walk at night alone. Maybe carry some pepper spray or one of those taser things. Pepper spray is about $5 but the tasers are a little more expensive but if you have the money it would be good to have. If you have a cell phone keep it charged and with you at all times and have an emergency number on speed dial. If you can take a self defense class. Not only will it give you confidence but it's good exercise. If you've got a few male friends maybe try to be seen with them often or at least make it look like in the event he does show up that you have a boyfriend. The tougher they look the better.

Hopefully, you won't run across him or never really need to use any of the above mentioned suggestions. I'm sure that everything will be fine.

I did not have a violent stalker but I did have a stalker and I know how hard it is to deal with. Also if there is anyone else that he may know and try to contact you might want to let them know that you don't want him contacting you. My stalker used that trick. He contacted all my friends and insinuated himself into my life by making them feel sympathetic to him. So make sure that everyone that he might know is told that you don't want him knowing where you are.

Okay I'm shutting up. I seem to have gone into a serious ramble mode.

[Lunacie]

Oh (((Nallia))), what a nightmare. Shielding sounds like a good idea (besides all the mundane measures) and set the shield to confuse the heck out of anyone who wants to use you or abuse you, making him think that you are far-far away from where you really are. Binding him could be helpful too, and I mean binding him from being able to track you any closer than he has already. You are not being paranoid, kiddo, and you are welcome to any help or energy I can pass along.

[Phoenix Blue]

**Hugs Nallia tight** I don't know what, if anything, I can offer. . . but if there is anything, let me know, and it will be done.

[Ahautenites]

Three things:

First... **huge hug** because you need it.

Second: I did an extremely long and involved Warding of the house the last time I was here by myself, and generally, my protective spells work exceedingly well.

Third: I know I bluster about a lot of things (like certain things I said about a certain person that ticked me off during last summer's vacation), but about some things, I'm deadly serious. And this is one of those times. No one harms me and mine on my watch. He comes to our door, and he will find himself escorted away by police in less than five minutes. Alive or dead, I'm not picky.

[materra]

Oh Nallia! I am so sorry this has happened.

All the above suggestions are excellent, and please follow thru with them...but there is one more piece to the situation you have forgotten... Nallia, you are no longer that person! You are a strong, matured individual who is not vunerable to the kind of manipulation or even assaultive tactics this guy used in your past. You know more, and are more able than you were back then. In fact you are more of a risk to him than he realizes... as you aren't 15 and this is not 1988. But he may still be in that mind set.

So, you set out to protect yourself to the best of your ablities but you also remember you know more, react differently, and are physically matured. You know how to take care of yourself, you have been doing it for sometime now. You have friends who care and will help as needed.

Nallia, this may be a good time to visit with a councelor to do some mental preparation work to help you. It will assist with any past issues this situation may drag up, and it will ground you and prepare you in case he should be foolish enough to try to see you. All in all this is an opportunity to plan, after all he doesn't know you're an adult yet... and we do.

[mol]

Originally posted by NeferSesemet
No one harms me and mine on my watch. He comes to our door, and he will find himself escorted away by police in less than five minutes. Alive or dead, I'm not picky.

You go girl! :bigredgri

Nallia, you are in my thoughts.

[Athena-Nadine]

I'm all right now. Just hearing his name and having that whole conversation with my sister brought back a lot of things that I'd really rather not remember. I know the chances of him actually showing up here are slim to none. But sometimes our fears aren't all that rational, you know? I went out last night and realized how rarely it is that I am actually alone these days, and managed to pull myself back together for the most part.

I've spent too many years learning to cope with this, so I could live a normal life, to let a stupid conversation and the idiotic actions of my sister destroy all that.

And everyone here who needs to know now knows.

*...smiles...*

It's all right, Ses. I already told Mark he'd have to stand in line in the off chance that David did show up somehow.

[Ahautenites]

**chuckles** You'd both have to actually BE at the house for you to get to this person first. (And since that's a rare occurrence these days, I'd say you're quite safe.)

[Semele]

Keeping you in my thoughts. Stay strong.

[ravenhawk]

:heartthro

((((((((HUG))))))))))

Sending good vibes and I just want you to know that I think you are a very brave soul. I also know you can see that you have a lot of fiends that support you.

BB

ravenhawk

[Xentor]

I can't really do anything from this side of the ocean, but send you some of my strength and hope you will use it wisely.

(((((Nallia)))))

[WandererInGray]

*tight smile* Materra's right...you're not 15 anymore.

And you're not alone either. *jerks thumb at Ses* She's nice, I wouldn't bother calling the police....I think CO still has that "make my day" law on the books. (whereby someone invades your home, you're allowed deadly force)

*soft smile and hugs* Anyhow, I already told you all this on the phone, sis.

[Ahautenites]

**laughs humorlessly** I said if he came to the door, that's the response he'd get. He breaks in and he's dead meat.

[Saiya]

I agree with many of the ideas already suggested, pepperspray is a relatively cheap way to make you feel safer when you're walking alone. I'll burn a candle for your protection and keep you in my prayers.

[Xentor]

And having a baseball-bat in the house (or a NeferSesemet for that matter) could make you feel happier.

[Altheia]

And having a baseball-bat in the house (or a NeferSesemet for that matter) could make you feel happier.

that would make anyone feel safer...they should sell those...i'm sure they would make a fortune...i'm sending you my serenity...i hope my calmness helps you...it has always helped me..things will work themselves out...

[Ahautenites]

**smothers a giggle** As a matter of fact, I *am* for sale, but not many people can afford my price (because it's not monetary).

Pepper spray can only be carried legally with a permit in some states. (Massachusetts is one of them.)

However, as my roommates can attest, if there's someone at the door that none of us knows, I refuse to open the door. They open it (goodness only knows why), and I provide the back-up with my trusty, large kitchen knife.

**sighs wistfuly** I miss my brother's aluminum bat. (We had to eat A LOT of hot dogs to get that thing.)

[Scarlettvixen]

Nalla this may seem a simple suggestion - but whos name is the phone listed in? change it from yours if it is yrs
energies sent
take care
and dont let the b**stard get to u