Death and Burials

[salamander]

Not all doom and gloom.

As I am a Pagan. I was wondering, Where do Pagans get buried.

What kind of service do you get.

Can you get a Pagan Service.

Any help with these questions would be much appreciated.

[Scarlettvixen]

hi salamandar
i dont know about yr personal preference but mine is a service by a pagan celebrant that lives around here - she married dh and i 4 yrs ago, then either burial or cremation and some plants put on top of me
im not fussed
most cemetaries (at least here in australia) have sections that are called non-denominational

[Lucidia]

although you couldn't be burried in a denominational plot, i'm pretty sure a pagan wishing to be burried could plan to be burried in, as scarletvixen mentioned, a non-demoninational plot.

personally i want to be cremated and then spread somewhere nifty like a apple orchard or something.

[Twig]

(shudders) The whole thought of a burial seeems repugnant to me for starters. Perhaps thats because I've had to plant so many people close to me.

Burn me up and scatter me to the 4 winds.

Peace,
Twig
:elf:

No Dan that's not herb tea, that's Herb tea...as in Herbert
(Night Court)

[Emerald Oak]

I'm personally gonna be cremated and have my ashes spread somewhere I love. Dunno where, though.

[Semele]

For those of you wanting to be scattered, if you live in Texas, don't tell anyone you are planning to do so. Apparantly it is illegal to do that. We had this whole episode with my Aunt in April. They were going to have to pay a large sum of cash to have her ashes placed underground on her sons grave, so my cousin said maybe they would just scatter them on top and the guy told them it is illegal. So they are going to do it on their own later. All sneaky like and such! Just thought I would share.

[MoonDust]

All I know is that I don't want a wake. I couldn't stand to think of people dedicating hours to crying over my death. I understand that a party may be a bit too much, but one of the Irish wakes would be good I think. Drinking, laughing, remebering good times and understanding that life will continue. I'd rather have something like that.

[Eeluna]

It's interesting that most everyone says that they want to be cremated. I, myself, decided I would rather be cremated many years ago--when I was probably around 10-12 years old. The thought of having my body shot full of chemicals is quite repugnant to me, as is the thought of being placed in a "pretty" box and buried underground. Being wrapped in a lovely hand-made quilt and then buried directly in the ground in a forest would be nice, but I doubt it would be legal.

After I die I think it would be nice for my family and friends to gather and celebrate my life in a simple, informal way. I think there would probably be tears, but there should also be plenty of smiles and laughter. I would hope that they feast upon delicious food, and share stories or something else meaningful that touched our lives together.

I would not want to be remembered with artifical flowers once per year. I would rather my loved ones light a candle on my birthday and whisper something like--I remember you--I still love you--or plant a tree or flowers in my honor--maybe think of me when they see a beautiful sunset or an amazing view.

[Mithrea]

Oh yeah . . . I've been telling my parents to dust me since I saw Buried Alive I, II, and III. Not having any of that! The plan is to divide me up into lots of tiny bottles so everyone can take a bit of me with them and it's up to them to decide what they want to do with their share of me.

But I am going to have a wake of sorts. My family is too Irish to forego the death festivities ;)

[MoonDust]

But I am going to have a wake of sorts. My family is too Irish to forego the death festivities ;)
That's the kind of wake I'm talking about.

[WillowSageheart]

All I can offer as advice is make a decision that feels right for you, and put it in writing. If it is important to you, make sure those you leave behind know your wishes and will respect them.

As for me, definitely cremation, maybe a wiccan funeral with a giant party afterwards. I don't want anyone to mourn my death, just celebrate my life. Afterwards I don't really care. If someone wants to keep my ashes that's fine. If anyone finds that creepy - as do I - then scatter me on the beach. Not at sea, but on the beach at night, preferably with the full moon.

[Ryhla]

I'm personally gonna be cremated and have my ashes spread somewhere I love. Dunno where, though. Same here. I want my ashes to be scattered on top of the Lewiston Hill back home. I love going up there at night.

You know...maybe I should actually tell someone this.

There's always the option of having my lifeless corpse made into a diamond. NAW! I think I'll stick with being scattered. That is after the taking my ashes around bar hopping. ;) Or a good old-fashioned party/wake will be great too.

[Ryhla]

Somewhere, though I don't remember where is a website someone put together on natural and pagan burials. It seems like the author of the site also wrote a book on the subject. I wonder if I saved that site? I imagine one though could look up natural burials and find it.

[Twig]

and I went through a lot of ........pucky. But in the midst I did find a most poignant piece that was broad enough to be applicable to most earth based Paths and yet enough specifics are left to the "celebrant" to make it very personal. I hope this helps

http://www.grailmedia.com/wz1/pinol/death.html

To everything, there is a season.

Peace,
Twig
:elf:

[Scarlettvixen]

to me a wake is a giant party after the burial/cremation
yes u cry - but u also laugh
u talk about the person, u remember them the good things they did, the bad things, the stupid and silly things
u refresh it and share it as they pass on

[Ryhla]

Somewhere, though I don't remember where is a website someone put together on natural and pagan burials. It seems like the author of the site also wrote a book on the subject. I wonder if I saved that site? I imagine one though could look up natural burials and find it.It took a bit of looking, but he website I was thinking of I found. It covers more on preparation of the body and gravesite of those who have passed.

http://immarama.faithweb.com/

[ckynes1968]

I've already told my husband that I want to be cremated. He can scatter my ashes anywhere - just release my spirit to the wind.

[Ahautenites]

I plan on having an ordained Pagan, preferrably one I know personally, speak at my funeral. I do wish to be buried in Pine Grove Cemetery, back in Lynn, MA. Most of my family is there and it's an absolutely beautiful old cemetery. There's a pond in it, and plenty of gnarled old trees that have incredible personalities, lots of bushes and shrubs and flowers, whole armies of military people, a section that dates back to the late 1600s when Lynn was first founded, and plenty of wildlife.

Why do I want to be buried? Because funerals, like weddings, are mostly for the guests. If people wish to see where my body lies, then I want them to have a beautiful place to visit.

[~ Monk ~]

http://www.grailmedia.com/wz1/pinol/death.html

That's a great link, thanks for posting it.

This topic has been a bit of a sticking point for my girlfriend and me. I would like to be cremated and have my ashes returned to the earth, she prefers a grave. I can understand how she feels - having a grave stone and knowing where your loved one "is" can be comforting, but cremation just makes sense to me, now more then ever.

Ultimately I think I'll stick with cremation, but I also feel a certain selfishness with that choice...

[Eeluna]

I want to thank both Twig and Ryhla for the links. I thought they were interesting and informative. Yesterday I was at the bookstore and found The Pagan Book of Living and Dying by Starhawk, M. Macha Nightmare and the Reclaiming Collective. I haven't started reading it yet, but it looks like it will be good.

Death is not a pleasant thing to consider, but I think everyone really needs to come to terms with the eventuality. Hopefully it will be a long time before I have to face that for myself or my loved ones, but being deep in mourning is not really the time to decide how to handle all the details.

[Dalia]

I want to be cremated. I dont want to have my family crying for me!! Oh, and I want my ashes to be sprayed on the sea!! I love the sea!!!!

[Jenne]

Burial is such a family tradition, along with the viewing, funeral, and such, that I will definitely have to put my wishes of being cremated and scattered onto the beach in Santa Barbara, CA in writing with a legal seal of approval. I've only come to this decision since following this Path, and it's a relatively new one. I've discussed it with my husband, who wants to be buried like a Muslim, even tho he's no longer one. It's what he grew up with, and I suppose it's what makes him comfortable. He's been researching Muslim burial plots in our area.

My grandfather, on the other hand, says to put him out with the garbage. That kind of talk makes me laugh and cringe at the same time. I think my grandmother will have him buried at sea/ashes scattered at sea, since he was a navyman.

Anyway, the whole subject used to be morbid and slightly distasteful to me, even though I love visiting cemetaries. I've done so since I was a child. But deciding where the flesh goes once you're done with it...ugh. It still rankles a bit, lol. I'm not squeamish, just a little too attached, I guess...something to work on?!

[salamander]

Thank you all for your replies.

I think that most people would like to be cremated and scattered to the winds. I would like to be buried under a tree so my life energy could be given back to nature. People could then remember me as they look at the tree.

Once again I thank you all for your thoughts