Love Spells

[Semele]

Here we go Jarred!!!

We were discussing love spells and got kind of off topic where we were so we are moving the discussion here.

Tell me more about your love spells Jarred.

Please

:)

[Jarred]

Okay, I do two types of love spells. I'll do them separately.

1. The first type is my "send me a man" spell. I've done this one about...five times in the past two years. It is a "person nonspecific spell." By this, I mean that I set up the whole ritual and release of energy to seek out a kind of relationship that I would like. My focus is on what I'm looking for in the relationship, where I'd like to see it go, and why I want it. The spell results in me meeting someone (in reality, all five times I've done this spell, I've had the opportunity to date at least two different guys within two weeks of the casting) and we go out and spend time together. To me, this isn't about "making someone love you" as it is creating an opportunity to meet someone that you might date. And it's been quite successful (though the most recent time was the only time where the relationship seems to be lasting).

2. The second type of spell is person specific. I've only done this one once, and so far, I've had great results. Now, I think that to understand this spell, you need to understand two things about my personal philosophy.
a. I am not Wiccan. I do not follow the Rede (though I do have my own personal set of moral codes). I also do not believe that "manipulation" is always a bad thing. (We manipulate people when we compliment them and cause them to smile.)
b. I do not believe -- no matter how "powerful" I am -- that I can MAKE anyone feel anything. In effect, I don't think I could make someone fall in love with me.
So, in light of point b, what's the point in my doing this type of spell? Simple. Suppose that the person is already has an interest in me. I can use this spell to bring it out. In this way, it's an "encourage what's already there" spell more than a "make him love me" spell.
The one time I've done this spell is for very specific reasons. When I decided to start dating my current BF, I realized that we were both shy and nervous. We both had admitted that we tend to clam up. So, I decided to do something about this. The night before the big date, I did a "relax us so we can open up" spell. As a result, I found myself my usual witty and charming (and not quite so egotistical as I'm being now) self instead of sitting there shaking. He also joked around. We ended up having a great time. So, in effect, I didn't make either of us love each other. I just "set the stage" so that what we were already feeling could flow more freely.

[Amora]

I just wanted to sneak in here and say well put. Personally I see nothing wrong with it and always viewed love spells in much the same way. As I have cast a few sort of "love" spells on my own.

[mol]

I would add...just be careful in this discussion and teaching. Dont want to load a gun for anyone who has never been on a firing range before.

[eaglewolf]

Originally posted by mol
I would add...just be careful in this discussion and teaching. Dont want to load a gun for anyone who has never been on a firing range before.



...or at least watched "COPS"...

:p

~ew

[Jarred]

I couldn't agree with you more Mol. My intent here isn't to teach people who to do love spells, but to discuss my views on the ethics surrounding them.

In general, I don't believe teaching others magic without first forming a strong relationship between the person and myself. At least not beyond basics (grounding and centering, shielding, meditation, etc).

[Kaylara]

From past experience I can tell you that Love Spells, are BAD news!!! I tangled with one, and am still suffering the effects of it now. One may think, but I didn't make it for a certain person, but it was a mutual thing, etc, etc, etc... All of the things that they tell you when they say that Love Spells are bad and then turn around and give you a spell to do just that...

Trust the All, and yourself... You do not need a spell to find love or to attract love... Who knows, true love could be right under your nose... ;)

Kaylara

[Jarred]

Thanks for sharing, Kaylara. I've heard that before. Personally, I don't completely agree with it, but I respect your opinion. So thank you for voicing it.

[Rick]

Originally posted by Kaylara
... Who knows, true love could be right under your nose... ;)

Kaylara

No, dear, that's my mustache. I'm fond of it, but I don't love it. Just wouldn't be right, somehow. ;)

OW! OK, OK...

Love spells can definitely be the "two-edged sword". It's the kinda stuff beginners are drawn to, & the kinda stuff beginners should be fenced off from. If done properly, the results can be really fantastic; If not, you can find yourself "tied" to someone who turns out to be other than what you thought they'd be. And the other party can be resentful, if they find out.

Not something to enter into lightly, or, oddly enough, emotionally, I think.

[Jarred]

Originally posted by Rick

Not something to enter into lightly, or, oddly enough, emotionally, I think.


I tend to apply that philosophy to magic in general. I see no reason to specifically single out love magic. ;)

[MystyPines]

hmmm, love spells.

Well, I don't totally rule out love spells. I don't believe in doing love spells asking for a "specific person" to love me. I do find this manipulative and against that peron's free will. I do believe in asking the universe to assist in sending a compatible companion with the qualities I would like in a companion. I have had an awful experience in doing a "love spell" on a specific person and have learned from it. As posted in the "Magic and Training" thread:

"What not to do? Well, I had a bad experience in doing a spell to bring someone back to me that was not meant to be. He was a "player" type of guy I was dating, and he ended the relationship abruptly saying his office was sending him to Thailand (which was a lie). So I did a spell to have him come back to me, using a personal jewelry item of his that I had, and he phoned me within 1 week saying he was back from Thailand for the holiday and "he 'desperately' needed to see me." Well, the date was like being with the "Stepford Husband" or Zombie, he just seemed different. The date ended after me being totally used 8O and never hearing from him again. So, my advice to newcomers is to stay away from any magick that manipulates someone else's free will. That's it!"

[Semele]

Jarred, Thanks for sharing with us. I do understand a little more now I think. I was wondering your views on doing a spell of sorts to help someone open up to love. For instance someone who has built a wall for protection and wont allow love to be felt. Would that be wrong in your opinion? Because chances are they may get hurt again and then build their wall even stronger. Just curious on how you would look at that scenario.

[Jarred]

Initially, I don't see a major problem with it. Naturally, though, I'd have to give it much more thought before I actually went through with such a thing.

[MistOfTheSea86]

Love Spells hmm... I have just one word to say. Regret. All around in life lovers will come and lovers will go. That is the pure and simple truth, as it was meant. YOu may find someone who you have loved so deeply that you couldn't think of a moment without them. You walk around all day and see signs that remind you of them. It drives you absouletely bonkers, that is when you get drawn towards the spells. You get everything ready and boom. You cast it. Few days later, you and lover boy/girl, are together. At first all seems happy dorey. Then comes in the crisis's which everyone will have no matter their ethics. You think of life if you had met the person on your own, would this relationship be better. More truthful pherhaps. na, you ignore it. Then the big kahuna hits you. He doesn't love me. He loves my spell, how can I live with this false love? without this spell I would be nothing. SO was I nothing before I casted it? am I doomed to be a nothing. An endless void of false truth? Why can't somebody really love me. Without me begging for it... These will hit you... if not now then soon. Because after you cast the love spell, it is not the person you casted it on that will lead you to pay for manipulating the person's actions. But yourself, that will
drive you *&^% mad.
TO make someone smile is to manipulate. You make someone smile by saying something you know they will enjoy. You don't use it against them. You use it for them. The manipulation is just something that is everyday. If this is your philosophy then everytime you smile you are being manipulated. Either by yourself or by others. All life is a manipulation. Planting some grass manipulates the soil to make it grow. Clouds forming, the sun rising. Everything. But this manipulation. Is natural and cannot be stopped from happening, it is what I call natural manipulation. But love spells are bad. Even if you just put the idea of someone out there. The person you find has been affected by it. You are basically telling some unknown person to love you still. No matter what, you are always affecting someones actions. So in truth they are never good.

Your romantic life will take many roads and many bumpy ones at that. But all you have to do is let it run it's course. Don't screw around with it, or it will cost you. Wiccan or not, screwing with someones actions is downright wrong. Let love come to you, don't force it. Or as I said before you will "REGRET" it.

SO much more I could say but:o I also feel that you may get:mad: So I will leave you off at this but remember what I say. For it will affect you someday.

[Jarred]

Hello, Mist Of the Sea. I'm sorry you feel that way. And while I certainly respect your opinion and your right to hold it, I neither can nor will agree with you.

I have no regrets for what I have done. I know the real reason that my boyfriends have loved me: myself. Yes, I might have used magic to find them, and in the most recent instance, I might have used magic to help nourish the relationship. However, in all instances, the relationships have been based on genuine, pre-existing feelings.

As for love spells not being good, please keep in mind that not all of us are Wiccan, and we have very different views of ethics. And while you may not agree with those ethics, I would ask that you respect them. After all, don't we get enough people in mainstream religions trying to push their own moral viewpoints onto us? We don't need to do it to one another.

[MistOfTheSea86]

I respect your beliefs fully, and I am sorry i offended. I looked at those ethics as being human ethics. not religious. HOw could you love someone who may only love you because of a spell? Yes there may have been attraction befor, but if it were meant to be don't you think you could of gotten over by some other means? Sorry I am just sounding rude now. I am just new and a teenager so you know how opinionative we can be. Sorry, I hope you can forgive me

[Jarred]

Oh, but they did love me before.

Let me ask you a question: What is REALLY the difference between wearing a special outfit to catch someone's attention, doing something sweet for them, wearing perfume and makeup, and doing a little encouraging spellwork. To me, the magical and "mundane" worlds are closely intertwined and play by the same rules. I feel way too many separate them much more than they should.

[MistOfTheSea86]

THe difference is huge!!! WHen you are wearing something to get someones attention, you hope they will notice. When you cast a love spell you force them to!

[Jarred]

Maybe the way you do love spells. But that's not my way. One can use magic in this way without forcing. But I doubt you will ever believe me. So let us agree to disagree.

[MistOfTheSea86]

I agree completely, sorry for nagging you.8O Well anyways have a nice day

[Lavender]

On the subject of love spells...a friend of mine has been married for almost 10 years. They have a good solid relationship & 2 kids. She's wiccan before they met & he's not but ok with what she is. She cares for him a lot but lately feels that he is probably not her soul mate. She doesn't want to leave him or anything like that. Her main thing is that he doesn't open up & share his feelings with her. She doesn't really feel close to him. When I see them together, you can see he's a quiet kind of guy...not a huggy sort of person that she is. But you can see they have a great relationship together. Anyway, I'll get to the point. She wants to perform a spell on the new moon...something to bring closeness to their relationship. She doesn't want to tell him, she thinks that it may make him feel awkward & self conscious. If she doesn't tell him, would that be manipulating him? When we talked about it, my opinion is that if the spell was done on just him without his knowing then that would be wrong. But the spell is done on their relationship together, that's different. Am I splitting hairs here? Love to get feedback on this one.

[Dria El]

Originally posted by Wildchild
On the subject of love spells...a friend of mine has been married for almost 10 years. They have a good solid relationship & 2 kids. She's wiccan before they met & he's not but ok with what she is. She cares for him a lot but lately feels that he is probably not her soul mate. She doesn't want to leave him or anything like that. Her main thing is that he doesn't open up & share his feelings with her. She doesn't really feel close to him. When I see them together, you can see he's a quiet kind of guy...not a huggy sort of person that she is. But you can see they have a great relationship together. Anyway, I'll get to the point. She wants to perform a spell on the new moon...something to bring closeness to their relationship. She doesn't want to tell him, she thinks that it may make him feel awkward & self conscious. If she doesn't tell him, would that be manipulating him? When we talked about it, my opinion is that if the spell was done on just him without his knowing then that would be wrong. But the spell is done on their relationship together, that's different. Am I splitting hairs here? Love to get feedback on this one.

I agree that without his knowledge it would be wrong. My suggestion is that maybe she could tell him that she was thinking about doing something to enhance their relationship. No specifics on the ritual. No specifics on when she's gonna do it. That way it would satisfy the his knowing thing and it wouldn't (hopefully) affect his reactions to her. Just a thought...

[Lady Blue]

Hiya.... I'm new :))) Hehehehe... was just reading your views on the love spells... interesting. I personally have rather mixed feelings when it comes to love spells.... truthfully I feel that love spells should not be messed with in as much as if it's love you want and you want TRUE love it should come naturally. Otherwise it is of an artificial nature. On the other hand,.... I do believe that there is nothing wrong with giving fate a bit of a helping hand. N.B: A BIT! I reckon that spells i.e: nobody in particular are ok but I find that a tad difficult especially if someone has caught my eye. I have only ever done one spell although I have been studying Wicca and Witchcraft for almost 3 years now. I want to be extra careful.... maybe I am being to careful but also time has not been on my side. I do have alot of free time now though thankfully and am trying to polish up previously aquired knowledge. The spell I did was a wish/love spell.... it was to be of a non-specyfied nature but in my heart at the time ... well... there was someone in my heart but the feeling was not returned. I think that due to this the spell was a bit messed up because the energies weren't...hmm.... clear.
Now that I have more time I will be hopefully getting myself together but even now I don't have much time as my mother and I are returning to England <have been in Wroclaw, Poland for the last 3 years>. It was actually here in Poland that I found out about Wicca... by accident. I always imagined that witchcraft must still exist and I just felt that something was missing in my life. It was right under my nose!
Slrry for the length of the email... I have a bad habit of writing long emails.... bear with me please and be patient! :)
Blessed Be.... nice to meet you <bow>
Ladyblue22018

[Dria El]

Welcome to Mystic Wicks Lady Blue!!! Glad to see you found us ok!!! I just know you'll love it here as much as I do!!!

ps. If you post an introduction in Just Talk, a wonderous thing will happen. :) ;) :D

[Rick]

Originally posted by Wildchild
On the subject of love spells...a friend of mine has been married for almost 10 years. They have a good solid relationship & 2 kids. She's wiccan before they met & he's not but ok with what she is. She cares for him a lot but lately feels that he is probably not her soul mate. She doesn't want to leave him or anything like that. Her main thing is that he doesn't open up & share his feelings with her. She doesn't really feel close to him. When I see them together, you can see he's a quiet kind of guy...not a huggy sort of person that she is. But you can see they have a great relationship together. Anyway, I'll get to the point. She wants to perform a spell on the new moon...something to bring closeness to their relationship. She doesn't want to tell him, she thinks that it may make him feel awkward & self conscious. If she doesn't tell him, would that be manipulating him? When we talked about it, my opinion is that if the spell was done on just him without his knowing then that would be wrong. But the spell is done on their relationship together, that's different. Am I splitting hairs here? Love to get feedback on this one.

Your friend might get more results with a new red nightie... ;) . Sometimes with us guys, ya just gotta have our full & undivided attention. :p

My point here is manipulation is manipulation, & enticement is enticement, etc. Somebody must be VERY weak willed to be coerced into doing something against their principals, or will, or so on.

My 2 cents is now in the mail...

[Myst]

I haven't been single since well before I started studying Paganism, so have never had need for love magick.

I remember not being Pagan, at which point love spells were silly but I was interested in learning about them (the same way most people think astrology is "silly", but read their horoscope daily).
I remember first becoming Wiccan, at which point I was taught that love magick was bad no matter what ("manipulating people is against the REDE!! You must ALWAYS follow the Rede!"). Then I became a Witch, and learned that magick is not that cut and dry, and love magick has it's uses if you're careful.

Quite honestly these days I've learned that everything is a matter of perception, and intent is the important thing. Oh and of course sometimes it doesn't matter what you try or think you want, sometimes what you think you want is not what you need.

So if you're careful and willing to feel the consequences should there be, and if you've done research and seriously considered your actions, I would think it would probably be ok. Then again, even if it is not then maybe one just has to learn the lesson. :)

Besides, what do I know :)

[Myst]

WildChild:

As always, IMHO.

Many people seem to think that marriages should just "work", and don't mundanely work for them. They don't try to communicate better when they have a problem, or better understand eachother's feelings. Some people should even consider finding a mediator or marriage counsellor. I'm sure you can admit that sometimes when you get all angry with someone you can forget to listen properly. This is true for any relationship.

So to make a long story short, I hope your friend has worked mundanely on her marriage. I was in the same situation in my last relationship and learned it was necessary to talk to him and learn to better work for our relationship. The relationship wasn't meant to be though, he didn't want to work to make things work! If your friend is already considering that she won't be with her husband instead of keeping positive and working together to keep the marriage going then maybe it is their time to part.

[Rick]

bump

[Gypsy Raven]

This is a good debate! I want to just ask something though....

Ok, what if you know the guy is a 'player' and has totally fooled you and made you feel like s*!t? Would it be ok to do a love spell to call him back so that you can laughingly tell him where to go and pop his inflated ego? Kinda taking back from him something he maybe took from you? Would that be acceptable?

Thanx!

Raven.

[Haedis]

eek i wouldnt advise that Gypsy Raven. But I'm a Wiccan, therefore I dont do magick on people without their permission. I've never done a love spell per se, but I have done one recently to help me in my relationships with others. I wouldnt cast a spell on a specific person to attract them, but I see nothing wrong with doing a spell to project loving energy to attract whoever might be best for me. I think that if under those circumstances someone fell in love with me then it would be because of MY energy and who I really am, not because of the spell.

[Myst]

Whether you think it is "ok" is up to you (and I'd say no, being as playing with people's minds just to be mean to them generally brings back some nasty karma). If you're really lucky he won't decide he loves you so much he can't live without you, stalk you, or try to kill you or himself.

[Rick]

Originally posted by Haedis
eek i wouldnt advise that Gypsy Raven. But I'm a Wiccan, therefore I dont do magick on people without their permission. I've never done a love spell per se, but I have done one recently to help me in my relationships with others. I wouldnt cast a spell on a specific person to attract them, but I see nothing wrong with doing a spell to project loving energy to attract whoever might be best for me. I think that if under those circumstances someone fell in love with me then it would be because of MY energy and who I really am, not because of the spell.
To Gypsy Raven: I'm not Wiccan either; don't follow the Rede or the 3 Fold Law... I'd just curse 'em (If they really p!$$@d me off)... :D ...OK, probably not... but I definitely wouldn't want to call somebody like that back to me...

To Haedis: Umm... technically, I believe it would be your spell that brought 'em to you... but not in the overt way of imposing your will onto someone... more like leaving a trail of breadcrumbs that lead back to you, but only someone with the qualities you're seeking can 'see' the breadcrumbs......

[Nyx]

I don't view love spells as being any different than any other type of spell. As always, it is your intent that will make or break that spell. If you try and make something happen that is not meant to be, of course things will blow up in your face! It's silly to think otherwise.
However, like all other spells, love spells can also work to bring about a good kind of change. If two people have an interest in each, but are shy, a love spell can help make them more confident. It doesn't guarentee them a lasting relationship, but it may help them get past those first few awkward dates. Love spells can also help single people meet potential dates. A general love spell, that doesn't focus on any one person, but instead focuses on general qualities, is, in my opinion, harmless. I think it serves more as a confidence booster, than anything else.
Love spells can also help strengthen a relationship, if both parties consent to the spell's use. I do not think, however, that a love spell can fix any realtionship issues on may be having. There are other more depenable means for fixing relationships.

Like any other spell, love spells can run amok, and so I would say use good judgement and make sure your intent is clear, before you proceed with any spell. Love or otherwise.


~~Nyx~~

[Gypsy Raven]

Ok many of you will be pleased to know that I decided not to call him back to get my own back! I decided to let his own personal 'karma' take care of him for me!

However, I did once put my nail filings in a guys coffe to see what would happen.....we'd been 'good friends' for a long time, and I knew that there was something between us that needed a little shove. I had a very positive response and as soon as the cup was emptied he poured out his feelings! We were together for just over 3 years and are now back to being good friends again. Then a while back I did the same thing on a new boyfriend, and he dumped me the next day! (Huh!) I reckon it only works if there is true emotion there to start with ....... a good test for the sweet talking guys perhaps?

Love n' stuff

Raven.

[Rick]

OK, if somebody wants to hex me, hex me. But PUH-LEEEEESE do not put nail clippings, or hair snippets (no matter what part of the body the hair is snipped from 8O ), etc into my food or drink...
:sick: :eek: :bad: :T

[Haedis]

Yes Rick it would still be manipulation (as is all magick) but the difference for me would be that they would be free to choose whether they wanted to persue a relationship or not. I'm not MAKING them like me. If they do they do.

[Myst]

Manipulation of what is part of all magick?

[Haedis]

Well, IMO magick is harnessing energy to use them for a specific purpose. I think that constitues manipulation of natural forces.

[Rick]

Originally posted by Haedis
Yes Rick it would still be manipulation (as is all magick) but the difference for me would be that they would be free to choose whether they wanted to persue a relationship or not. I'm not MAKING them like me. If they do they do.
Agreed.

[Flar's Freyja]

Bump for celticspirit