View Full Version : Dealing with parents..

July 18th, 2003, 02:58 AM
Ok I was raised in pretty much the Amish tradition and so my mother is a very strict christian woman and when I do anything 'unusual' such as talk of magic or even meditate she freaks out on me and 'knows I'm not doing anything like that' etc... So I avoid doing anything that I think might make her flip on me. I love her dearly and I know she loves me, she just can't handle the thought of me doing anything she considers 'strange'. And well, it hurts to know she feels that way. I don't have many people in my life and her not being able to handle that part of me.. I'm not sure what to do with it. Any thoughts or advice?

July 18th, 2003, 10:16 PM
Do you still live at home?

If not then just don't tell her what you do.

If you do I think you need to respect her beliefs under her roof.

However you should be able to practice your faith :)

Often concern comes from not understanding. Meditation is very much like prayer, or praying the rosary, or time out.

Candles can be for good smells in your room, and an alter table can be a dresser drawer that pulls out and gets put away (careful about fire in a drawer lol)

Any of that help??


July 19th, 2003, 05:46 PM
I've got the same problem as Roe, my mom and brother are christian/catholic, and my dad is a REALLY big atheist, so they get pretty scared when this sort of thing comes up, even to the point that they've tried to get me to return to christianity.

July 19th, 2003, 07:52 PM
i had the same issues as a teenager
i suppose i took the easy route
outwardly i followed my families beliefs, but in my room i meditated and read on what ever topics i wanted.
i just had patience and didnt practice anything until i had left home.

Eos of the Eons
July 20th, 2003, 06:36 PM
Right now, if you are at home, your parents are responsible for you. That is for food, clothes, mental and physical health. This is very very important to them! They take it very very seriously!

But, you won't be there forever. In a short time you will be on your own, and you will see how much responsibility you will have even just for yourself. The good part is your freedom!!

If your parents still object, then tell them how much you respect their beliefs and traditions and ask for the same in return. Ask them for any questions they have. The more they know, the more they will realize that you are perfectly happy and healthy, and they did a wonderfully perfect job of raising you!

They need reassurance, that's all. But as a kid under their roof it will be tough for them to try to accept anything they feel will make you less than healthy mentally and physically.

I mean, it's better than dropping out of school and doing drugs. You could point out that :) Let them know that you are still the same person and aren't going to go crazy and give your soul up to a crazy commune or something!

July 20th, 2003, 07:44 PM
My parents are Roman Catholic, and they are against anything thats not Christian. So for about eight years now, I've kept it quiet. You can do it...just be patient, and learn all you can in the meantime :)

Breathless Falcon
August 11th, 2003, 09:25 PM
I can understand where you are coming from. I have spent 7 years with a belief similar. We have dresses/skirts, long hair, no make up, very conservative, don't get me wrong this was not bad. I still wear my skirts ,long hair, don't have time for make up. :rolleyes: I can now see the differances. I had also gone to other churches. And it was an eye opener. :sadeyes: Where you have your parents I have my husband, go slow any thing fast will freak them out. Know that you are supported in you dessions, there are many helpful on this site. I'm new to this path and a few kind words have gone far, DON"T GIVE UP !! :seehearsp

August 16th, 2003, 06:17 PM
my parents absoltly hateanythingtodo with magick and practically forbid me to do it.....soi have to hide it from them....is thatwhat i should keep doing?

August 17th, 2003, 11:34 PM
This is often a problem with a lot of people, and while my parents have never had a problem with my spirituality, I have tried to steer clear of any unpleasantness. First thing you should do is try to see it from your mum's point of view, something you're so comfortable and familiar with is being pushed away by your child. Tell her that you respect her beliefs and rules in general, and then explain your point of view. Just be simple, and nice about it and explain what you do (if you have to) to her in a nice plain manner. It's a delicate situation but don't be worried about it, just be honest and gentle.


Seren Mara
August 18th, 2003, 04:58 AM
my parents absoltly hateanythingtodo with magick and practically forbid me to do it.....soi have to hide it from them....is thatwhat i should keep doing?

Looking at your profile, you're likely to be staying on with your parents for a little while at least. Try to make things easy for yourself. I depend on my parents for lots of things, so I try to make life easy, so they don't make mine difficult.

If you use your magick to worship the Goddess, there are ways and means to do it without setting up your altar, and your circle. Try praying, or if you find that difficult, take a walk down the street - there are so many things you can thank Goddess for - the lovely tree with the spreading branches, the baby that lives in number three. You don't have to talk aloud, just tell her in your head - she'll hear. Lots of people do magick with rosaries, if any of you have those. Meditation is something most parents find 'non-suspicious' and you can use that to get closer to the Divine.

September 1st, 2003, 01:05 PM
thank you all foryour advice.....i'll try to take it so far it has proved helpfull............thank youagain------piper156

September 1st, 2003, 04:53 PM
I come from what I fondly call "the Bible belt of Southern California"--I was a Baptist Christian most of my formative years. My family is still deeply rooted in this, and my parents, while being what I call the "hide-the-beer-the-pastor's-here" kind of Christians, they would be horrified with what I've chosen to do with my life.

So, I stay in the broom closet, and though I am a 30 year old married woman with two college degrees, a career and 2 children, I still hide my Path (by hide I mean I don't flaunt it, though I've taken to wearing my pentacle ring, and I've said some potentially provoking things they've since ignored). I choose instead to live by example, leave literature around my house, and show in small ways how I've changed.

I know a lot of people would call this chickening out, but my family is a very close-knit one, if a little ignorant. And I am still at that stage in my path where it is a very private part of me. I am not ready to explain myself to them yet, and until I am, I take the quiet road. It's sort of delaying the inevitable, but until I've come to the place where I can be open and outward to ALL, I don't think I can share that part of myself with people who seriously might try to ostracize me. At this point, it's not worth it. I know the time will come, and I'm preparing for it. Til then, it's just me and my Path (although my brothers and my husband know, and my brothers-in-law as well).

September 2nd, 2003, 09:08 PM
Hmm, well, I have parent problems that are sorta weird. My mom found one of my wiccan books, and now she constanly going "who are you planning to cast spells on?" or when I was looking at black candles in the store she was like "black candles do black magic, so don't get any of those" then she winks.:bangyourh It drives me insane. I can't explain to her. she is stuck in her beliefs.

On the plus side, she doesn't care that I'm practicing Wicca. She is a tarot card reader an internet forum that does free readings. But, she needs to learn a bit more about things like wicca and paganism. :goodgrief