Twig
August 7th, 2003, 03:23 AM
Greetings my Friends! I'm sure everyone expected deep wisdom blah blah from me on my birthday. Well hehehe...you got it! I put this here because theology and philosophy is a search for the Truth. Some is edited out for my own reasons.
What you read is what I was thinking at the time. Debate it if you like but this became automatic writing which the content is both theo and philosophy based. THAT is why I posted it here and not somewhere else.
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Post to another site
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I buried a crow today
The days preceding my 46th b-day have been odd to say the least. There has been horror, mis-reading of feelings, elation but the intensity and "direction" have taken me aback. I'm just writing this to read it and make better sense of things.
You see...Sunday I buried a crow. I was honored and it was my duty. Today is my birthday. A time for reflection on my life...and the Gods gave me a shitload!
My friends, I started a new phrase yesterday It's called a "Mid-Life Cyber Crisis". Don't let anyone tell you there isn't a male menopause. This year I woke up and instead of thinking "My DAY!" I thought 46...................Thank you.
THIS was where my dreams and discussions of the future "me" ended when I was a teenager. 2000-2001 was to be the year of the "Rapture" said Hal Lindsey! So I never thought beyond that at 14-18 years old. (1971-1973)
Hell, my lifestyle was such that 35 was unlikely.
And yet I am here and things around me and my current situation would sound alien to the gangly teen chalking a pentangle on the living room floor. Did I see this in the piece of paper I tried to move with my mind? In the psychic drawing of head pain from a girl too beautiful for breath? Only to read she died of a bullit wound to the head 10 years later. Then JD of the same fate.
It was her that first breathed the word nephlim to me. In Maryanns basement! Oh Gods Karen, I love you still. (come back to this.) edit It was there that she did a dance to a beatles(/) album at the wrong speed. I remember that dance. She was someone else....? Where everyone and the entire night was "different".
THis is where my life and the web starts anew. Now I tear down the old web for this is uncharted territory. And I see a new world with this new web. web=net. hmmm.
This part scares me. I expected the 2 1/2 kids. Not to counsel with angels. I expected to find out who I was, NOT be a future I dreamed and created millinia ago!
People look up to me as a role model and a wise man. I am among people I used to scoff at and only read about. I am proclaiming that there is a new way to approach religion. I do this by example. ME!
And now I am again as scared as that awkward boy who dared summon the very thing that scares a God fearing christian to submission of a plan not understood and questioned.
I have found out the dark prince that I was told to fear so badly and fight so boldly. In this very thread I have discerned his name And at 46 I laugh and take a new look at life.
Because it is the same person I look at in the mirror every day. I Am the one thing that I was taught to fear. The MAN who would risk insanity and death for a glimmer of Truth. The man who would dare question the status quo and the foundations under his feet.
I thank you everyone here. You have just and will now see my thoughts that lead to the revelations of self on my 46th Birthday.
I Love you ALL!
Twig
______________________________
Saturday- EDITED by Author
Sunday- Find brand new b-case and very needed shower repair part in garbage. Four minutes later find dead crow in the street. 3 cars doing 45 mph all miss him. 3rd man was NOT aware of him but jerked wheel anyway. Bury the crow. do cleansing ritual. ( too quickly?)
Monday- EDITED.... You already KNEW that Dummy! had the same mistake 1 year ago. think about connection.
Tuesday-EDITED SHE knew that! I contact Shy mistaking entire year of her post.
Wed- Happy b-day. EDITED, dave ( sisters husband)gets in a car accident,hes ok. Shys Back!
---------------------------------------
-slightly edited as needed and to say welcome to the pretzal logic that is my mind.
Peace,
Twig
What you read is what I was thinking at the time. Debate it if you like but this became automatic writing which the content is both theo and philosophy based. THAT is why I posted it here and not somewhere else.
-------------------------------
Post to another site
----------------------------
I buried a crow today
The days preceding my 46th b-day have been odd to say the least. There has been horror, mis-reading of feelings, elation but the intensity and "direction" have taken me aback. I'm just writing this to read it and make better sense of things.
You see...Sunday I buried a crow. I was honored and it was my duty. Today is my birthday. A time for reflection on my life...and the Gods gave me a shitload!
My friends, I started a new phrase yesterday It's called a "Mid-Life Cyber Crisis". Don't let anyone tell you there isn't a male menopause. This year I woke up and instead of thinking "My DAY!" I thought 46...................Thank you.
THIS was where my dreams and discussions of the future "me" ended when I was a teenager. 2000-2001 was to be the year of the "Rapture" said Hal Lindsey! So I never thought beyond that at 14-18 years old. (1971-1973)
Hell, my lifestyle was such that 35 was unlikely.
And yet I am here and things around me and my current situation would sound alien to the gangly teen chalking a pentangle on the living room floor. Did I see this in the piece of paper I tried to move with my mind? In the psychic drawing of head pain from a girl too beautiful for breath? Only to read she died of a bullit wound to the head 10 years later. Then JD of the same fate.
It was her that first breathed the word nephlim to me. In Maryanns basement! Oh Gods Karen, I love you still. (come back to this.) edit It was there that she did a dance to a beatles(/) album at the wrong speed. I remember that dance. She was someone else....? Where everyone and the entire night was "different".
THis is where my life and the web starts anew. Now I tear down the old web for this is uncharted territory. And I see a new world with this new web. web=net. hmmm.
This part scares me. I expected the 2 1/2 kids. Not to counsel with angels. I expected to find out who I was, NOT be a future I dreamed and created millinia ago!
People look up to me as a role model and a wise man. I am among people I used to scoff at and only read about. I am proclaiming that there is a new way to approach religion. I do this by example. ME!
And now I am again as scared as that awkward boy who dared summon the very thing that scares a God fearing christian to submission of a plan not understood and questioned.
I have found out the dark prince that I was told to fear so badly and fight so boldly. In this very thread I have discerned his name And at 46 I laugh and take a new look at life.
Because it is the same person I look at in the mirror every day. I Am the one thing that I was taught to fear. The MAN who would risk insanity and death for a glimmer of Truth. The man who would dare question the status quo and the foundations under his feet.
I thank you everyone here. You have just and will now see my thoughts that lead to the revelations of self on my 46th Birthday.
I Love you ALL!
Twig
______________________________
Saturday- EDITED by Author
Sunday- Find brand new b-case and very needed shower repair part in garbage. Four minutes later find dead crow in the street. 3 cars doing 45 mph all miss him. 3rd man was NOT aware of him but jerked wheel anyway. Bury the crow. do cleansing ritual. ( too quickly?)
Monday- EDITED.... You already KNEW that Dummy! had the same mistake 1 year ago. think about connection.
Tuesday-EDITED SHE knew that! I contact Shy mistaking entire year of her post.
Wed- Happy b-day. EDITED, dave ( sisters husband)gets in a car accident,hes ok. Shys Back!
---------------------------------------
-slightly edited as needed and to say welcome to the pretzal logic that is my mind.
Peace,
Twig