A most disasterous circle!!

[Faery-Wings]

This was just awful from the start...

My hubby is out tonight so I get the kids to bed right on time. Take a nice ritual shower (ha, no time for a bath :)) Got the music on, setting up my altar for the circle- two kids who were supposed to be asleep are banging on my door. Get the kids to bed, sit down on the rug and try to breathe and relax and tell myself to not be listening for sounds coming from their room. One of my cats walks past, so I lock him in the bathroom. I start casting the circle, my dog starts walking towards it, then goes back,then comes forward, then back on the bed (ok- my dog, when she is alseep on my bed, *nothing* wakes her- not even a 300 pound black bear that got into my garbage can just feet from my bedroom window- yet I start talking to myself and she is all wide awake and walking around). Ah, quiet. well, except for some meos coming from the bathroom. Continue with the circle, calling the quarters. Another cat, who must have been hiding under the bed, comes over and jumps over the candles on the floor. Try to collect myself, breathing, on the floor. Crash! A door slams! A child crying.... I have to say I didn't bother cutting a doorway at this point~ I don't think there was enough energy in my circle as it was :( Got a "thirsty" boy to bed and a sobbing littel sister all calmed down and back to bed. Went back to my room, sat on the floor by my altar and just said "I'm sorry" to the Lord and Lady....

Please tell me this gets better. And the the Goddess (being a mom and all :)) understands. Would anyone care to share their most distasterous circle stories so I don't feel like a total dork on my own?


Chris

[Semele]

Sorry for your less than perfect experience. These things do happen. Aside from the kids the other distractions shouldn't have bothered you so much! Perhaps you were too excitable to relax. Maybe you needed to just try some relaxation techniques from bed and try a circle another night. I have personally found myself too wound up to concentrate. In the midst of a circle I am annoyed at the wind blowing too loudly...etc.

I know how frustrated you feel. Just know that there are better days ahead. Nothing ever worth doing comes easily or when we think we need it most! Make sense??? i hope so...I feel as though I am rambling again!

[Elaine]

I'm so sorry hun....I know you were looking forward to doing this tonight....*HUGS* I'm sure it will get better...as time goes on...kids will grow and sleep easier...the dog and cat thing is just inevidable....my 2 would be the same way....my dog can't stand being more than 3 inches away from me when I'm home ...so I'm sure this will pose a problem for me when I start doing mine!! Some others might disagree with me on this...but why not try, when you do the circle and start to speak to the God and Goddess, why not introduce your dog and kitties and just ask that it's alright that they wander around ...in and our of your circle...(as long as they can't get burned by the candles that is) that way, you are not frustrated that they are there...(plus, usually when we want them there...they don't want to be anywhere near us...so maybe this will keep them away from you) :) hope I'm of some help....ttyl...Elaine:)

[MystyPines]

Chryssi,

I know exactly how you feel, I have to plan my rituals and spellwork around my 2 kids, and have had to cut a doorway open on a few ocassions. As far as the cats and dog, I have heard that animals don't affect a cast circle, but I understand the distraction. Hang in there!

Bright Blessings!

[Lilu]

Hi Chryssi,

Hang in there! I have to agree with Semele's points about being too wound up to do the ritual/circle. It's not necessary to take a bath before ritual (a shower can work too) but it sounds like you chose the shower for timeliness rather than approaching it as a cleansing tool which still takes time. (When I didn't have a bath, I used to take showers that went for almost 30mins for a cleansing). Perhaps feeling rushed just wasn't giving you the energy you needed to cast a circle.

I'm not a dog person, and I find their energies disruptive so I wouldn't have them around a circle or even in the room, but cats I have had in circle with me with no problems, they seem to have an energy that is calming and can walk through the circle without disrupting it if they are quiet about it. My husband and his ex (before I was on the scene obviously *grin*) had a 12-month handfasting once, and her cat obviously knew that it shouldn't be done because it came racing at the circle right after the ex had cast it and broke the energies of it by racing through the circle over and over.

They went through with it anyway (after banishing the cat to the other room), and broke up a few months after that, so I think the cat was definitely trying to tell them something, or to wake them up to the truth of the situation. So maybe your cat (by jumping through the candles etc) was trying to tell you to wait on casting the circle and just relax a bit instead.

Hang in there, it will get better!

BB
Lilu

[Semele]

Our cat often comes into the circle, but he usually hangs out just on the outside...like a guardian!!! But when its time to break bread he comes on in to have some!! He thinks he belongs there or something!!!

[Mariposa De La Luna]

Chrissy1- I couldn't cast circle for months after my son was born because he wouldn't sleep without me, not even naps!!!!! Well now I have him sleeping on his own and I'm too tired to stay up and cast circle, there was a time I wasn't. It seems like all the lost sleep in the past year+ has finally caught up to me. All I get to get around to doing is a small prayer every once and awhile. BTW my daughter gets thirsty at night too. She gets a cup of water to put next to her bed before she goes to sleep.

[Laiste]

Oh boy I know the feeling...I've had several disruptive rituals. My son waking up, the teenagers hanging out in the park accross the street, my neighbors fighting or laughing when I use my drum or tamborine (they must wonder what I'm doing over here). Oh and I almost forgot the two times I set off the smoke alarm!!!hehehe. My cat on the other hand is never a disruption, when he's not out galavanting with his buddy from the neighborhood, he usually hang out with me through the whole thing. At first all these things made me crazy and I found it difficult to relax. Lately it has all fallen into place especially since I have incorporated music into my rituals this helps to drown out the outside world. Take your time it will happen for you. Just keep it simple for now and maybe you can be a bit more relaxed.

Blessed Be,

Laiste

[Faery-Wings]

Lilu, I loved the ex story he he he!

Ok, I feel better now- glad I am not the only one this has happened too. I think you're all right. I think I was having a hard time relaxing, between the kids, the animals and wanting to be done before my husband got home. He keeps giving me crap about wanting to "watch." Why, I dunno....*shrugs*

The other thing is that I think part of me is a bit resistant on doing circles in general. I like the simple aspects of kitchen witchery and I don't know how much of the formal circle casting fits in with me. It doesn't feel 100% natural to me. Maybe it is just being new to it, so I am giving it my best efforts until I know for sure. I just re-read the thread on Do you Use a Circle in the ritual forum and I saw that there are others who don't cast circles all of the time either. I guess time and practice will tell!

BB!

Chris

[INCANTATRIX]

With 2 kids of my own i know how hard it can be just to concentrate on something simple.
I think when they talk about the joys of parenting that it only starts after they leave home.!!!
Anyhow it sounds as though you were looking forward to it so much that exictement just took over and concentration went out the window ,sometimes when i feel like that it really helps if i put the casting to one side and try a little areobic exercise it just helps to calm those frazzled nerves and give you balance again.

Hope this is some help and im sure she understands anyway.

[Elaine]

I haven't done a ritual as of yet....I don't feel like I'm ready to...maybe you're just not ready...there's nothing wrong with that...you just need to get to a place in your head that says...."hey, I'm ready for that" I'm not talking about WANTING to do....I really want to do one!! I'm just not ready yet.....could be the same thing...could be what some of the others thought...*shrug* hope I didn't just confuse you hehe :)

[Mairwen]

Originally posted by Semele
Our cat often comes into the circle, but he usually hangs out just on the outside...like a guardian!!! But when its time to break bread he comes on in to have some!! He thinks he belongs there or something!!!

My cat is our "official" Guardian of the South. She always, always sleeps at the south point! Maybe it's all that good Fire energy! (she sleeps in the Sun all day):rolleyes:

[rantnraven]

Okay, Rant is going to throw his 2 pennies into this.

As many have known, I am rather eclectic but lean toward Shamanism.

I, too, have had many “disrupted circles” and found them rather frustrating. I was irritated by this.

My spiritual father, Kalisius, told me – in my frustration – that this was a matter of interpretation. Perhaps your circle was just fine and was the cause for the distractions. Likewise, the distractions could have been clues to the power of the circle.

This insight taught me patience over the years. I realized that the distractions were signs needing understanding – that alone focused my thoughts on the reason for the circle rather than the idealism of why I “wanted” the circle.

“Spirituality comes in many shades of gray. It is our soul and heart that interpret the colors. Not the mind” – Kalisius (Beltane 1989).

That was a great lesson

Blessing and many happy circles,
RnR

[Faery-Wings]

*catches the two pennies and puts them in her piggy bank*

Now *that* is something to chew on!

Hmm, gotta really think on that one, it really does make sense, but is very deep. Or at least it is very deep at 8am on a Saturday with only one cup of coffee under my belt. Nah, I think it is deep. LOL!

Thanks for the input. I am really taking in all of your collective experiences and it is really keeping things in perspective for me.

:)

Chris

[Yvonne Belisle]

I don't cast circles I just sit and focus and think upon the questions I have and the needs I have and what I can do for the powers that be. I often do this in the tub where I can relax in peace.

[Mairwen]

Sometimes I think people get too caught up in what they think they should be doing instead of feeling the energy out and going with what feels correct for a given situation. Each situation/event/circle/etc is different and carries its own weights and measures. People forget that and get too caught up in "stuff".

[Dria El]

I've been at this for a few years now and I've never cast my own circle. I've been apart of casting circles in a group but that isn't the same. I guess I haven't felt the need to. Maybe someday I will, but I'm not worried about it. I'm sorry you had such trouble with it but I wouldn't worry too much. When it's right, it will happen.

[Dragonmother]

It ain't just Circles- Kids at that age want to compete with you for ANY time you have to yourself! Now, my kids are either part of circle, or willing to give us our time- but I thought I was going to go mad for a while there. It would be so easy to say "Let it be for a while, and you'll have your time later" but I know that you need it now. You need to estalish your autonomy as a person who's name is neither "Mom" or "Honey"
The kids are not, in my mind, as big a problem as hubby. It sounds like there is a struggle going on there; He wants to watch and you want your privacy while you learn to do something you aren't sure in yet.
You love the guy; He is sceptical of Witchcraft, but he has all these Hollywood images in his brain: he's hoping that the whole thing might be sexy, just a little... He doesn't understand that it's just like saying your prayers.
Here is my suggestion;
Let him watch; put him inside the circle, sitting down, give him some things to hold ready to hand to you. The water and Salt, the Taper for the colored candles. Don't go skyclad, unless he's used to seeing you nekkid, and... just do your work. It'll reassure his jealousy about the time you are spending apart from him, possibly bore him to tears so that he won't want to watch any more, or, maybe, awaken an interest in witchcraft in him. And, maybe he'll be willing to babysit the little dollinks for you so that you can do your work in peace at a reasonable hour...

[Faery-Wings]

Originally posted by Dragonmother
The kids are not, in my mind, as big a problem as hubby. It sounds like there is a struggle going on there; He wants to watch and you want your privacy while you learn to do something you aren't sure in yet.
You love the guy; He is sceptical of Witchcraft, but he has all these Hollywood images in his brain: he's hoping that the whole thing might be sexy, just a little... He doesn't understand that it's just like saying your prayers.


Dragonmother I think you got that 100% right LOL! I We had some time alone together on Saturday and I brought it up to him. He is now interested in Witchcraft- but not so much the religious end of him. He wants to learn to do spells and all and wants *me* to teach him ~ Buahahahahahah!!!! I am having enough trouble teaching myself, and couldn't teach him, even if i felt that it would be right to. I told him that he doesn't have to be religious to be a Witch and that was fine with me *as long as* he does any magic for good. I do not want any negative energy in my house!


I do have another question for those of you that said you don't typically do circles. Dria, Yvonne, or anyone else... (please keep in mind that I am still so very new at this!) how do you raise energy without casting a circle? Or is that not as much an issue~ that you can connect with the Divine solely in your mind? And not trying to out labels on anyone, including myself, is casting circles a big part of Wicca? I have started out studying Wicca, but do not want to confine myself in any way. I am struggling for the right words here :) What I think I am trying to ask, is if I decide that I don't need circles to do spell work, commune with my Dieties, would I just be considered Pagan, not Wiccan? Either way is fine and I guess it is up to me to decide... (should I move this to the Magick and Ritual forum??)

Ugh, sometimes I just wish my brain would work the way I want it to! LOL

Chris

[Dria El]

Originally posted by chryssi1

I do have another question for those of you that said you don't typically do circles. Dria, Yvonne, or anyone else... (please keep in mind that I am still so very new at this!) how do you raise energy without casting a circle? Or is that not as much an issue~ that you can connect with the Divine solely in your mind? And not trying to out labels on anyone, including myself, is casting circles a big part of Wicca? I have started out studying Wicca, but do not want to confine myself in any way. I am struggling for the right words here :) What I think I am trying to ask, is if I decide that I don't need circles to do spell work, commune with my Dieties, would I just be considered Pagan, not Wiccan? Either way is fine and I guess it is up to me to decide... (should I move this to the Magick and Ritual forum??)

Ugh, sometimes I just wish my brain would work the way I want it to! LOL

Chris



Ok, let me premise anything I might say by letting you know that everything I do or say requires belief. I raise energy because I believe I can. I do it without a circle because I don't believe I need one. I talk to the divine just as I talk to you because I believe that I don't need fancy tools or rituals to connect with them.

In my Tradition, as a group, we do things differently. We cast circles, etc. for the Esbats and Sabbats. And I don't disagree with that because those are more 'official' or 'special' occassions. It's just like getting dressed up for Christmas, New Years, or birthday parties and going to a celebration or party with friends or family. But for my own private stuff, it's just too much.

You should classify yourself however you want to. It's YOUR spirituality. There's so many flavors of Wicca that I think it's probably impossible to truly define what one really is. But that's just me. If you have further questions, you can always PM or email me.