Have you ever really loved someone???

[Red Dragon]

Have you ever loved some one without reservation, who despite everything you do to prove it; still feels threatened and inadequate? One of the Knights from the castle was wandering by as I sat soaking in the moat and pondered me this question. How can one prove their love to one who can't find it in themselves? :confused: I couldn't provide him with an easy answer as I'm not the most fluent in the ways of damsels, so I thought perhaps you might be able to help?

(Sighs, picks at a loose scale and belches a small puff of smoke)

Red

[rantnraven]

Interesting post (having come from that very same type of relationship).

Proving your love for an individual should be as easy as doing nothing. Love is not proven by intentional actions. A Pigeon might puff up its chest to attract the opposite sex but Love is alive through positive energy.

For example, I didn’t have to get my wife the dozen roses to prove anything – I simply felt like doing it. Likewise, she didn’t have to give me a drill press to prove her love.

If love is not there, it is “not there”. If love IS there, then you will know it.

How's that scale anyway?
RnR

*ducks to avoid belch of smoke*
Ack!

[Red Dragon]

It was irritating but now it's gone..The scale, not the relationship, although I fear the power of manifesting the things you fear the most is hard at work here. I supose that it will resolve itself either way.

One can only hope...Happily :sunny:

[rantnraven]

Tell the Wandering Knight this:

Do not prepare for the worst - where love is concerned. Let love run its coarse. Preparing for the worst is simply an invitation for it (no RSVP required).

My thought, my heart,
RnR

[Tigerwallah]

Unfortunately, we are often shaped by our previous relationships. It's commonly reffered to as baggage. Sometimes that baggage makes it impossible for us to accept a relationship, even if it is the perfect relationship. My last boyfriend broke up with me because our relationship was what he always dreamed of. Odd, huh? Well, he just came out of a bad marraige where he was very damaged, and he didn't trust anymore. When our relationship became more than just physical, when we became friends he started to freak out.

One day he told me that he couldn't accept the perfect relationship. He wasn't ready for it. A week later, he was gone. I've been damaged by this ever since. I don't date. When someone hits on me I always turn him down because I don't want to be hurt again. I always think, nothing good will come of this. I'm just like him, now.

I suppose if someone were persistant enough, patient enough, and open enough this might change, but it's a risk for anyone who tries. Tell your friend, if he really wants this to work, he has to be patient. It's unfair for him, but he definately has to win her trust even though he may not have been the one to betray it. He may even have to settle for being "just friends" for a long time.

If she's been hurt, she needs to feel in control.

[SnowStar]

Baggage...ack...people tell me I'm too young to know about these things, but unfortunately or maybe forutunately in some ways I do. I haven't been in too many relationships and that in itself is due to a lot of emotional baggage and similar stuff that I happen to lug into anyone's path I cross on any sort of intellectual basis. Let's just say that I was never exactly the most well-loved or most popular, or even just socially average. I'm talking when I was little...like primary school and a bit beyond. Even after I got a little self-confidence the baggage I lugged around from being constantly told I was ugly and worthless by my peers (kids are so cruel I am telling you) and even being physically abused by some, lets just say that when it came to romantic relationships when I got older I lacked a LOT of confidence in myself in how I looked, in my actions...everything. Its odd, because for the most part I have few issues with any of that as long as no one is saying to me "wow you have a nice body" or something to that effect. When someone says that I shrink back and I freak out because someone actually was looking at me and because of that baggage I just prefer not to be noticed.

I'm probably not making a lot of sense there, so let me explain...I guess when people always told me I was ugly I got it into my head that if people didn't notice me then they wouldn't say anything. The fact that understating myself actually WORKED further enforced that fact. I became totally happy and comfortable with not being noticed at all. I figured if someone was gonna notice me they should notice me for my personality and intelligence because the rest of me wasn't worth noticing anyway. Its amazing what time can do to a person though. While I was hiding in my baggy clothes and behind my shoulder-length hair (at the time) that I almost always had in my face I must have filled out and stopped being a stirstick somewhere in there. People actually started noticing me for my looks even behind my understated appearance and I somehow landed myself in a relationship which both helped and hurt. Let's just say that I don't understate myself as much, but I still do not much like to be noticed. Its not that I don't like myself...hell, I've gotta tell you I don't think I'm all that bad looking. It still bothers me that people look at me though. I just have that little bit of lingering paranoia that they're looking because they think I'm ugly. Even if someone tells me that I have nice [fill in the blank] I still feel a little awkward because I am not used to it. Compliments like that are still pretty foreign to me and I guess my issue is that I don't know exactly how to react. I mean, I thank the person, but beyond that I'm confuzzled.

Hopefully my own quirks and issues give you a little insight into whatever your deal might be. Never fear, Red...no need to have to prove your love...this damsel of which you speak probably is aware of it, but may not know how to respond to it.
On a slightly unrelated note, however your problem sounds vaguely like the reverse of what is going on in the possible start of another relationship for me. So who knows....maybe my mild insanity might be of use to you after all.

[Semele]

Ok...first of all...I have been drinking a little tonight so please take everything i say as a drubken stupor!!!

:D :cool:

I was very confused by the dragon lingo...not up on that to date!! But I would simply say...sometimes we try too hard for what we want...whether love or that new job..etc.
Tell your friend to pull back a little. If he has shown his true feelings...that is all he can do. You cannot make someone realise your love by overdoing it. Let it be known then sit back and wait. Instead of overwatering the plant we should step back and allow it to blossom...or wilt if thats the case. Relax....if it's meant to be at this time it will happen.

Make sense???

hope so!

[MistOfTheSea86]

The greatest thing you'd ever need learn. Is just to love, and be loved in return.

- Christian
Moulin Rouge

[Swanspirit]

Merry Merry,
YES Tiger I know exactly how you feel, and I sensed this bond, I think :>
I had to let someone go that was clinging on to me, in the sense of keeping a friendship, and a partnership, so he could find his way to America, but he had so much baggage he couldnt let go of , including all of his past relationships.LOL not to mention HIS WIFE !!!!!!! and an online lover and goddess KNOWS who else.
Last time I Tripped over him on the net he was cruising for yet another ,while still married ,hitting on woman asking them if they didnt have three grand trines in their natal chart........ see he has this FORMULA figured out so now I guess he is running around asking "whats yout TRINE BABY ? " LOL
What really finalised it and when it was over for me , and believe me I lost it, was when I had proof of a betrayal so deep,it was beyond my comprehension as to how he could do such thing.
That was when I realised he was a weasel ,and not in my depth at all,and just used me for a fling, ESPECIALLY when he accused me of using sex magic on him. I thought "what a great witch hunter you would be you hypocrite!"
It was beyond my comprehension as to how someone who professed such love ( see CD he made for me and sent all the WAY from South Affica
could turn into someone who would accuse anyone of doing that. Reminded me of a former life , in which I was accused of being a witch and a lover betrayed me and watched me die, hunted down like a wounded dee
So I am totally satisfied that this shallow heart could never measure the depths ofmine,and what I mistook for an ocean was nothing more than a tidal pool, and a shallow and treacherous one at that.
The problem is my heart is not like that, and
I had a deep love I had to deal with, with the recipient not worthy of trust,and now I am healing , because I have loving friends who are really a loving family,who have validated my perceptions. I didnt use any magic on him,he is just a weasel scum bucket, dipping himself in the cesspool repeatedly and wondering where that awful smell is coming from.
So now his "friends" (read "online truelove" LOL and her compulsive gossip/complainer friend) are indulging in having juvenile jollies with an online journal, but they are lying and twisting the truth, one of them even pretended to be my friend for months , all the while stabbingme in the back writing to this other friend about me and my EX, sending pics without asking me etc etc
I feel as if I fell into a nest of vipers,and yes it was rough, but NOW I am healing ,and back to where I canhave fun, and flirt, and on voice chat NO LESS... and I have a voice......... .......!!!hehehehe
Love and light
and check the song titles onthe CD, someone who had "magic " worked on them?? The words to SunShine Superman "any trick in the book"
and "you will be mine"

[eaglewolf]

Swanspirit wrote
......... ( and NOT off topic :>)

LMAO!

Hey! I heard that...

:D

~ew

[Swanspirit]

You really ARE the GOD
of off topic posting.............not sayin where that came from LOL........really good ears too

hmmm let me find a spot on my alter....

Love and HUGS
Swannie

[Dria El]

Originally posted by MistOfTheSea86
The greatest thing you'd ever need learn. Is just to love, and be loved in return.

- Christian
Moulin Rouge

There was a boy
A very strange, enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far
Very far, over land and sea
A little shy
And sad of eye
But very wise was he
And then one day
One magic day he passed my way
And as we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This he said to me
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn,
Is just to love, and be loved in return."

Nature Boy
Natalie Cole (and Nat King Cole)

[MistOfTheSea86]

They sure did play alot of tunes in that movie!! I thought that was actually an original line!! BUt that Movie Is still Beautiful

[Dria El]

Originally posted by MistOfTheSea86
They sure did play alot of tunes in that movie!! I thought that was actually an original line!! BUt that Movie Is still Beautiful

One thing I believe more and more as I get older is that I doubt there's anything 'original' left. In most ever genre I hear bits and pieces of 'other' things. <shrugs> Guess that's part of being around for awhile.

[eaglewolf]

Originally posted by Swanspirit
....hmmm let me find a spot on my alter....


I wouldn't go as far as to say GOD... more like the KING. No need to make room on your alter for a KING ...(_E=mc2_)...

My take on this topic. IMO, one should not have to prove their love to anyone. True love is appearant to everyone, even if they aren't looking...

If love is there... well, the proof is in the pudding (so to speak).

~ew

[Swanspirit]

Merry Merry ,
PROVING you love someone sounds more like jumping through hoops and we always know that is a game isnt it??
And the hoops are always held a bit higher,and some of them have flames ......thank you but
No thank you ...... take your hoops and find somene willing to jump through them,
Love needs no proving , or other games ...
Love and Light
Swannie

[Mariposa De La Luna]

I tried to post earlier but it didn't took.

Sometimes people aren't ready to love for lots of reasons, past baggage, unable to commit, fear, they don't know how, they don't love themselves. It normally has nothing to do with the person that loves them. Sometimes they are just too amazed and can't understand or grasp that someone could truly love them, some people feel that worthless. Those type of people need time and patience and space to come to terms with who they are and how they feel yet not too much that they feel you are leaving them/don't like them anymore.

[rantnraven]

Listen to SAHM, she speaks true of heart. I know!:)

RnR

[Mariposa De La Luna]

RnR you make me blush *blushing hot pink* quit it! 8O

[rantnraven]

SAHM, there is no need for blushing. Your heart beats true like a Summer rain - like the thunder of drums. Blessings to you that you can - and always have - spoken from the heart.

Hoka-hey heya, Sister.
Bright blessings.
Your candle is Yellow and scented with Jasmine,

Your brother in spirit,
RnR