exhusbands

[nomadicdragon]

You know. I hate to say that I hate someoen. But I strongly dislike my ex husband. He's so mean and disinterested in me and insists that being marriedto me is like being married to a prick.. yet he wants to pretend that we are friends. I have to call him about his mail and crap, and then he wants to be like.. how are you? are you doing okay?
and i'm too nice a person to say what i'm really thinking.. this so total BITES>

[Joshua]

do you have kids together?

[nomadicdragon]

do you have kids together?


No.. i've been the only true mother his daughter has known.. but i have no children..

[Joshua]

so, he's still in your life because of his daughter? That makes sense I suppose. I read your post and wondered why you haven't removed him from your life.

[nomadicdragon]

so, he's still in your life because of his daughter? That makes sense I suppose. I read your post and wondered why you haven't removed him from your life.

mostly because his stuff is still in our apartment.. as soon as i move... he wil lbe out of my life.. also i don't have the money for the divorce yet.. just another thing that keeps him around...

in the deep crevasses of my heart i know that i still love him. I would not get back together with him because I truly believe that he will never be ready for a serious relationship. And it would never be a healthy relationship. I guess I just don't know how to really say.. get out of my life..

It's a hard thing to say.. it's easy to just not pick up the phone.. and not call and not answer etc. as opposed to saying.. i want to forget you exist

[Joshua]

Can't say as I envy you the task. It's too bad your marriage didn't work out. I'm grateful to have been married as long as I have. But as far as loving someone who is essentially bad you, well, smokers love cigarettes all the way to lung cancer. Something to think about. You have a choice betwwen the harder right and the easier wrong. Blessings and good luck.

[nomadicdragon]

Can't say as I envy you the task. It's too bad your marriage didn't work out. I'm grateful to have been married as long as I have. But as far as loving someone who is essentially bad you, well, smokers love cigarettes all the way to lung cancer. Something to think about. You have a choice betwwen the harder right and the easier wrong. Blessings and good luck.


thx.

[Mistiblue]

I'm so sorry.... (((hug))) That has to be the worst. I don't know how long you two were together and it's always harder when kids are involved...But at least you know that he is Not good for you. If he makes you feel bad about yourself he really does need to be out of your life. When he says those mean things and then tries to be nice he's only trying to manipulate and play on your feelings.

Like when an abusive brutal person takes flowers to his wife after he has beat her up. It's all part of the game to get back in good graces so he can do it all over again.

Stay stong and don't fall for it. Once he is out of your life you can find a relationship which will be good for you.

Hang in there, It Will get better. :hugz:

[nomadicdragon]

I'm so sorry.... (((hug))) That has to be the worst. I don't know how long you two were together and it's always harder when kids are involved...But at least you know that he is Not good for you. If he makes you feel bad about yourself he really does need to be out of your life. When he says those mean things and then tries to be nice he's only trying to manipulate and play on your feelings.

Like when an abusive brutal person takes flowers to his wife after he has beat her up. It's all part of the game to get back in good graces so he can do it all over again.

Stay stong and don't fall for it. Once he is out of your life you can find a relationship which will be good for you.

Hang in there, It Will get better. :hugz:


We were together for almost 3 years but only married for 4 months. The weird part is he keeps insisting he has no feelings for me and has no interest in being with me.. but then he keeps trying to be all sweet and nice.. and i know he's not like that with his "friends" it's strange

[Mistiblue]

We were together for almost 3 years but only married for 4 months. The weird part is he keeps insisting he has no feelings for me and has no interest in being with me.. but then he keeps trying to be all sweet and nice.. and i know he's not like that with his "friends" it's strange

Hummm,... I don't know. Hard to say why people do and say what they do. He sounds like either a game player or has no clue what he really wants. Either way, I think he will bring you more grief than joy.

[nomadicdragon]

Hummm,... I don't know. Hard to say why people do and say what they do. He sounds like either a game player or has no clue what he really wants. Either way, I think he will bring you more grief than joy.

I agree. I'm all about trying to move on with my life. Trying to make choices that are best for me. I guess once in a while it gets to me..

[Flar's Freyja]

I'm sure someone's already said this but I've had a splitting headache for four days and haven't read the whole thread.....

With men, sometimes hostility is a cover for emotions. He may actually miss you and may be considering getting back together but he dioesn't know how to express it or can't handle it for some reason, so it's easier to be hostile.

Or he's just a prick, period.

[Lunacie]

Very deja-vu-ish for me. My ex cheated on me and said he didn't want to be married anymore, but he still wanted to be friends. Who needs friends like him? But I couldn't forget all the reasons that I had loved him either. Finally I had to tell him that I simply couldn't be friends without still being married. So after living separately for 5 (five!!!) years, we got a divorce. I think we are both happier now. I find that the less I have to deal with him, the easier I find it to be civil when I do. Have to, that is.

[DanuMoonrunner]

Run! Run fast and hard! I was married to someone like that for 10 years. The longer you let them stay in your life, the harder it is to get them out! He is a player and you have to say I quit if you can! Good luck! Hugs and strenthening energy sent to you.

[nomadicdragon]

Well.. I was willing to work it out the first few weeks after he left.. but I'm done and since he claims he has no feeligns for me.. It gave me more strength to move on. Hopefully by November I will be able to move to Philadelphia and completely shut him out of my life... He's not healthy for me and I hvae too many things I want to do with my life..

[DayDreamer]

Men may be from Mars, and women may be from Venus... but ex-husbands are most definitely from HELL.

My divorce was final in April 2002, and we were only married for a total of 22 months (actually lived together for 19 of them). I was SO glad I didn't have any kids with him. He was a serious control freak, who "loved me so much" he alienated all my friends and tried to keep me tied to him at all times. Going to work was a relief just to get away from him. In the short amount of time we were married, he went through the $50,000 inheritance I had, and I actually had to pay him an additional $2500 cash payment to get him to move out.

Needless to say, I'll be happy if I never have to see him again.

[Aidron]

Exes of all shapes and sizes are a severe pain in the ass. I have but one ex, and many dates that never went past one date, but they all act exactly the same.

You know the type, the rumor spreading, the attempts at dragging you into some sort of melodrama, the lies, the general nonsense.

I'd love to be one of those people who is all "You enriched my life. Now go, prosper."

Quite honestly though, I'm much more "We didn't work out, and now you need to not exist."


I've had to show my nasty witch side quite a few times over guys like this and frankly, this is one of the many reasons I no longer date and normally will want to punch a guy if he even looks at me.

What it is with people, break ups, and painful melodrama eludes me. Since the entire world apparently refuses to grow up, I have refused to socialize with them. :grrrrr:

[Hawk Shadowsoul]

I am an ex-husband to a very bad person and currently happily married to a ver good person. When I left my ex I broke all ties except with my stepson. It was the best move I have ever made, except my current marriage. I was married 26 years and it took all I had to finally leave this abusive relationship. ( I was the one being abused) Take some loving advice and make it a clean break now. Start your life now and find some happiness.

[catwoman paris]

You know. I hate to say that I hate someoen. But I strongly dislike my ex husband. He's so mean and disinterested in me and insists that being marriedto me is like being married to a prick.. yet he wants to pretend that we are friends. I have to call him about his mail and crap, and then he wants to be like.. how are you? are you doing okay?
and i'm too nice a person to say what i'm really thinking.. this so total BITES>

I'm tempted to say 'stop being nice and tell the guy firmly the bugger off'. But if you've got kids and you are intent on them maintaining a relationship with him, then it's not that easy. I know, same thing. With the father of my little girls for 8 years (kids are 5 and 3). He left recently (turns out he's been involved with someone felse or 2 years), decided to take all our money, try to obtain custody of the kids (my worst nightmare - I'm a full-on, fulltime mum and the girls and I have never been separated for even a night, until this week when he took them away for 8 nights, as per his custody rights...)...I live in France (am Australian), have absolutely no rights as defacto is not recognised here and despite the fact that I truly wish he would disappear from the face of the earth (and go straight to Dante's worst version of hell), I'm supposed to maintain a polite relationship with him for the kids, so they won't suffer any more than they already are. I have never in my life wished anyone dead, and I truly believe that you get back what you put out (but if that's the case, how come this is happenig to me<:???), and I want the best for my kids, and I have no choice...so what do to?

If I'm honest, I hate him with every fibre of my being. Perhaps that will fade with time. All I can do now is remove every reason to communicate (ha!) with him, keep it to the strictest, polite minimum, then come home and stick needles in his effigy...

Can you do this, change his mail address, take no more messages from him, communicate in simple emotion free sentences via email to organise custody stuff, and otherwise remove him from your consciousness? And if you succeed, will you tell me how? Bon courage!

[Faeawyn]

:hugz: