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View Full Version : Please Help!! I'm a parent of a 2 year old!!!



mysticalartistinfp
September 14th, 2003, 12:28 AM
Hi everyone! I'm going out of my mind. How is one supposed to follow a spiritual path and balance Karma in this lifetime and not create any more negative karma while parenting a child who's going through her terrible twos??? Every time I yell at her to stop doing something, I feel like I'm only creating discord and negative karma and accomplishing nothing. Especially since my husband is always taking her side and saying she's just a kid. But nothing else seems to be working either. Does anyone have any advice?? It would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

amathera
September 14th, 2003, 01:17 AM
What exactly are the worst problems? I have had more kids than humans should be allowed.(not all really mine as some were older) and have been through most everything. Maybe I can give you a few pointers.

LightDancer
September 14th, 2003, 10:10 AM
relax take a deep breath and try to enjoy this age...because, although terrible twos seem bad they are nothing compared to the troublesome threes, and frightening fours :lol: .

B*B
Jamie

BethieRose
September 14th, 2003, 05:35 PM
You also need to get your hubby on the same discipline page as you. It's amazing how much a united parental front can curb some of the behaviors you're trying to stop!

FeatherGoblinglimmer
September 14th, 2003, 05:37 PM
Hey i havea one year old daughter and i have worked in a nursery b4 too. I know what kids that age can be like. If you want to talk at any point then pm me.:)

and don't worry about the karma. I am sure you are telling them off for there own good and they need to learn there boundaries.

hugs(((((((())))))

Autumn
September 14th, 2003, 05:48 PM
Remember the 3 battles you cannot win...food, sleep and potty. also take a hard look around your home, is the main playroom be it family or livingroom fully toddlerproof? kid books on low shelves grown up books up high? If you can't get books out of reach pack them so tight that they cannot easily be pulled down. all crayons and markers washable? All breakables out of reach of even climbing tots? lots of good toys that are age appropriate in use, if you have too many put some away and rotate toys every now and then. keep to as regular a routine as you can...offer healthy snacks and remember hungry tired or ill children can't behave. take'em home! If your child moves furnature to climb, you can tie your diningroom chairs in under the table, with enough slack they can still be used but can't be dragged to the counter for illicet climbing.

if you use time outs they should only be two minutes, 2 is a liitle young anyhow, above all try to engineer their world so it's easy to be good!

If you give us more specifics I am sure we will provide more targeted help!

Hang in there!

Shelly
September 23rd, 2003, 11:21 PM
Big hugs to you! I'm also a Mommy of a 2 year old. I think he started the terrible twos about a year ago!!! I feel like I'm going out of my mind at times. Like your little one, Austin hardly listens & he's on the go from the time he wakes til the time he sleeps. Of course my Christian friends claim it's because I'm on the Wiccan path now...WHATEVER! Best of luck & hopefully, our little ones will calm down.

DanuMoonrunner
September 23rd, 2003, 11:31 PM
As a Grandma I can safely say-"Welcome to parenthood, ain't life grand!" Patience and perserverance, too soon yours will be grown too!

Old Witch
September 24th, 2003, 06:04 AM
Take a deep breath and make this your mantra......This "two" shall pass.....Say it over and over until she is three....

PeleRising
October 3rd, 2003, 11:24 PM
As the mom of a teenager... i can honestly look back and say ... the terrible twos werent so bad... but i have passed that stage... you are in the midst of it... Just remember to breath... arrange time to get away... and if you cant do that... enforce quiet time or nap time by use of a child gate, books and toys... and get together with other mothers of similarly aged kids... the kids can all either ignore each other or play, fight, and chase while the moms all console each other. Just remember you arent alone... all parents feel out of control at times... and dont worry bout the teen years... they really arent so bad either :hairraise :foh: :collapse:

LadyWillow
October 4th, 2003, 01:41 AM
You have to be firm and patient. Keep in mind, they are challenging everything because most of them just learned that they can say no and that they can get on your nerves. My child development class has taught me that you really have to stick with what you say, but don't think you are hurting them because, well you are just being a parent.

Stardevil
October 4th, 2003, 03:52 AM
well My son will be 3 in about 2 weeks he is the light in my life some of the time and a little devil the rest of the time even though grandma swears he is an angel...


I have been told that if there is a problem with your child and they are acting up step away from the situation t look at what YOU did that is bothering the child ..Yeah that worked for like =2 minutes when he turned around and threw his shoe at me...

I hate to say it but balance is only going to be found when comparing the good times and giggles with the little bit of discord..You child is learning to test boundaries and the biggest one that they are going to teat is " How much stress can mommy handle before she blows up" Trust me I just needed help in sleeping methods because of monsters... You best friend is going to be this board because you have people who have been there and that will make you feel like you are not alone and you are not a terrible person for yelling at your kids... yelling is natural and so is this stage...wait till your child figures out that you CAN fit 3 rolls of toilet paper in the toilet and flush it and still have time to get out of the bathroom before it floods and mommy finds out...



Oh and do not forget to take a TON of pictures..they are going to hate those pictures when they get older...

Flar's Freyja
October 4th, 2003, 02:28 PM
Redirect. Show her something that she CAN do rather than saying No all the time. And sometimes you have to rearrange your own life and environment to make things easier.

All of my pretties were on the walls until my kids got older (my mother didn't agree with this, we were such perfect children, dontcha know) and one day I figured out that I was carrying my iced tea and ashtray around long after I didn't need to do that anymore.......

bluglass
October 7th, 2003, 02:23 PM
oh my goddess this is so true. But twos seem hard till you get the hang of it.

jenn
October 7th, 2003, 02:34 PM
It'll pass- I can finally not be too worried about my kids getting into and breaking things. Having a break every so often is definately a must. And Im sure you encounter the "Oh how cute" people and youre thinking -Yeah Right. It is a cute age though but I say that cuz Im passed it. I took my Grandmothers advice and kept a cupboard full of different cups, containers&measuring utensils but mine liked the noisy pots and their lids better.

Veganmama
October 10th, 2003, 08:03 AM
I try and have my house as much of a yes environment as possible, cupboard locks if there is something dangerous, but the rest of the house and yard is quite child freindly so i'm not constantly saying no, or put that down etc all day. I also have a dialogue with myself before i say something to her about weather it's really dangeous and life threatning or just plain annoying..lol if it's annoying i let it go and if it's truely dangerous i follow some great advice a good friend gave me

I can only express danger if I am scared so when she moved in I ran over moving very quickly (which startled her), very serious (but not angry) and said ow, danger or something like that (Like I was really scared)and quickly looked at her hand very concerned to let her know something was very scary and wrong with what she was doing(not her).

I did this with heat too. Once I decided not to save her and she burned his hand (very mildly I was next to her) and she finally associated my "ow, danger" and fast movements with a sincere need to protect her. She seemed to be interested in listening more after that.

SOmething about being matter of fact without judgement or anger and redirecting..and often.

Here's a link to a good article

http://www.vegfamily.com/babies-and-toddlers/being-two.htm (http://www.vegfamily.com/babies-and-toddlers/being-two.htm)

mcspi
November 4th, 2003, 02:53 PM
Hi I am new to the forum but I am mother of a 3 yr old and 15 mth old. if your not feeling balanced do what i do and meditate when the are asleep. also It is very important that your husband take sides with you at this age they are testing their limits with you and if they see dad always taking their side they will learn to use that to manipulate later. also remeber not to let things get to you patiece is a virtue that is learned not given. RELAX. Blessed Be.

Mcspi