Paternal Surname Ideas

[Élistariel]

I learned from my english instructor that the only differnce between Ms. and Mrs. Was that Ms. meant your father owned you, and Mrs. meant that your husband owned you. Add that with surnames are paternal. Who made males the 'rulers' of all? Yes way back when sure, but this is the 21 century, time to jump off the paternal-powertrip. I also noticed that when celebrities get married, the woman often does not change her name. Then again that could be, well they're celebs, the divorce rate is up there. My question is, what is everyone's opinion on the surname issue? Why not take the wife's name? If both spouses keep their names, then what name to the kids get? The mother's or the fathers? Should the daughters get the mothers name and the sons the father's, or vice versa? Sure there is the issue of how the paternal thing is what's always been done and what everyone is used to, get over it.

[VelvetBlade]

I learned from my english instructor that the only differnce between Ms. and Mrs. Was that Ms. meant your father owned you, and Mrs. meant that your husband owned you. This is news to me...I always thought that MS. was used so that someone had no way of knowing if you were a MRS. or a MISS....
As far as the surname thing, if I ever get married, I will either keep my last name or hyphenate both our names. I don't feel like marriage means giving up myself..but rather...a merging of the both of us....

~AW

[Eirwen Hartsock]

Well, also in the art world, many of my professors have not taken their husband's last names. Then there is that whole hyphenated thing. And some of my teachers want to be called Ms. rather than Miss or Mrs. because Mrs. declares that you are married, and for some reason they like Ms. better. I've never understood it. Personally it depends on what my hubby's last name is. If it is something good, then I'm all for it, but if it sucks, and if I'm a famous writer or artist by then I might keep my own.

[Morgaine_Hawthorn]

I knew a couple once who merged their last names into one. They were Kellog and Kruger, and they became Kulog, I think. I though that was a rather good idea, as it represents them merging into one couple, but neither forsaking their own identity. :)
I wanted to do that when I got married, but well, my maiden name is rather odd, and it didn't combine well with my husband's name. So I opted to take his name instead, simply because his is a nice, common name, and I wanted that after living my whole life with one where people always say, "Now, how do you spell that?" =/

[Apocalypse Bunny]

I knew a couple once who merged their last names into one. They were Kellog and Kruger, and they became Kulog, I think. I though that was a rather good idea, as it represents them merging into one couple, but neither forsaking their own identity. :)
I wanted to do that when I got married, but well, my maiden name is rather odd, and it didn't combine well with my husband's name. So I opted to take his name instead, simply because his is a nice, common name, and I wanted that after living my whole life with one where people always say, "Now, how do you spell that?" =/


My fiance and I talked about creating a new name from both of ours. Unfortunately, our names don't mesh very well. I've even tried using an anagram creator. :lol: Oh, and they sound even worse hyphenated! Ugh.

However, my father's last name is not important to me, and I rather like my fiance's last name....so, I've decided that I'm going to go ahead and take his. *shrug*

[DanuMoonrunner]

I've been married three times. Every time I took my husbands name and then after divorce #2, I took back my first husbands name 'cause that is my kids last name. When Hawk and I got married, I said I wanted to keep my name because his was REALLY UGLY! After two years, and all my co-workers calling him by my last name, he decided to take my name. This wouldn't be that funny except, my last name is Brown and his first name is Charley... you do the math!

[Scarlettvixen]

ohh the hassle i am having with burecracy (spelling is disabled in my brain tonight)
cause i refuse to change my surname now i am married!

[Sylvan]

I love the idea of melding the names into one. :D

Both of my marriages, I took their last names. My sweetie absolutely *would not* take my last name, even though his is long and Polish with all those extra letters that no one can pronounce. My maiden name was very simple, four letters. No mistaking it. *sigh* And now it's gone forever...

I would love to pursue the whole name of your mother thing, but the thing is, no matter how far back you go, you're just getting more and more men's surnames. I could go by my mom's maiden name, but it's still the name of her father. I could go with her mom's maiden name, but it's still the name of *her* father. And on and on. I've heard taht some people are taking their mother's first name and adding "Child" to it.. So like if my mom's name was Pam, I'd be _______ Pamschild. I think that's kinda neat, actually. Except my mom's name isn't Pam and her actual name wouldn't fit something like that...

[Élistariel]

I love the idea of melding the names into one. :D

I've heard taht some people are taking their mother's first name and adding "Child" to it.. So like if my mom's name was Pam, I'd be _______ Pamschild. I think that's kinda neat, actually. Except my mom's name isn't Pam and her actual name wouldn't fit something like that...

That is sweet, I understand the generation-paternal thing. Now would the Momschild thing be for daughters only or sons as well? My name that way would be Abby Glendaschild. Now would you use their actual first names or the ones they went by? My mom uses her middle name, thus Abby Teresaschild. Also I forget which culture, but they used a paternal version of this. Say you had a father named Olaf (don't ask). His daughter would be Olafsdottir and the son would be Olafsson.
I actually like that I have my father's surname. My mom's maiden is that one that invaded our phonebooks. Actually... I have some dead florida justice of the peace dude's surname. My paternal grandfather was adopted. Genetically, I'm a Riggs. Yes, lethal weapon.

[writitive]

Well, I took my husband's name because I really hated mine (it rhymes with a lot of things, like bum, hum, numb, etc), and his is easy to pronounce and easy to spell. I was glad to let it go. Still, it would be neat if we could use maternal names, but there is no way to determine which name to start with, because our society is so patriarchal. Plus, my mom's maiden name is listed as Trubey, but the reality is that was her stepfather's name, and he never adopted her, so it should be Garvey...what a mess.

[Élistariel]

I love the idea of melding the names into one. :D

Both of my marriages, I took their last names. My sweetie absolutely *would not* take my last name, even though his is long and Polish with all those extra letters that no one can pronounce. My maiden name was very simple, four letters. No mistaking it. *sigh* And now it's gone forever...

I assume this means you kept your birth first and middle name and dropped your lastname? For the longest time, that was the strangest thing to me. To see a woman get married and do that. My family usually did the keep your first name, or middle if that's the one you went by, drop the one you didn't use, bump your maiden to your middle and take your husband's surname. Example, my grandmother.
Born MJC, she went by J, married an S, and thus JCS.

[Sylvan]

Oh, I know. My mom was born SEC, and is now SCW. I don't know how she did that- her sister gave her her middle name (11 years apart in age), I don't know if I could just give it up like that, something so meaningful.

But yeah, for me, it's been a change of my *last* name. Times are changing, and middle names are hanging in there alot more often now. Born JKW, I have been JKP, then back to JKW, and now JKR.

Then again, I may have just kept the middle because getting a middle initial into a new signature would be no fun... I have a big swooping K that goes in after I've signed my first and last names. To change that to a W would just.. not feel right..

*shrug* My sisters did the same- kept their middle and scrapped the paternal surname.

I've also heard of at least one family who gave all the girls the same middle name, so that when they get married, they'll all have one name in common. I guess they were to drop the paternal surname too... Keep the middle name, and thus all have a name together... I don't know...

[writitive]

I've also heard of at least one family who gave all the girls the same middle name, so that when they get married, they'll all have one name in common. I guess they were to drop the paternal surname too... Keep the middle name, and thus all have a name together... I don't know...


That's how it is in my family. All of us girls share the same middle name, and it's been around for at least a few generations...I think it's a really nice tradition, as it gives us a link to our family and the past.

[Ben Trismegistus]

Well, the main problem is that there's no simply alternative. Yes, I agree that there's no reason why the man's surname should dominate. This practice dates back to a time when women were viewed as property, and their "owner" could be identified by the surname.

Unfortunately, any alternatives are cumbersome. Yes, the man could take the woman's last name, but then you've got the same problem in reverse. You could combine your names, but many names won't combine easily, and the byproduct of that is that you're losing your family heritage by altering the name. And then there's hyphenation - fine in theory. But move forward a generation - what happens when your son, Bobby Johnson-Goldberg, marries Sally Rosenthal-Friedlander. What then?!

[Ben Gruagach]

I learned from my english instructor that the only differnce between Ms. and Mrs. Was that Ms. meant your father owned you, and Mrs. meant that your husband owned you.

Your English instructor doesn't know what they're talking about.

Mrs. is NOT "Mr's" (as in owned by Mister.) My handy-dandy copy of Webster's dictionary lists Mrs. as a title for a married woman, an abbreviation of the word "mistress." As in "mistress of the house."

Ms is a courtesy title for a woman that does not have any connotations about marital status... during the 1960s and 1970s (when I think Ms was invented, by the way, but I'm not sure on that) it was used by women who are asserting that their marital status is of no relevance to those who are addressing them.

Miss is a title for a woman who is not married, and curiously my Webster's says it's an abbreviation of "mistress" as well.

So if you call a woman "mistress" it could mean they are married but it could also mean they aren't married. Miss means they're not, Mrs means they are married, and Ms means it's none of our business if they're married or not.

While it is true that historically women were considered property of the men in their lives (either their fathers or husbands) it isn't the meaning behind the titles.

[Hawk Shadowsoul]

I've been married three times. Every time I took my husbands name and then after divorce #2, I took back my first husbands name 'cause that is my kids last name. When Hawk and I got married, I said I wanted to keep my name because his was REALLY UGLY! After two years, and all my co-workers calling him by my last name, he decided to take my name. This wouldn't be that funny except, my last name is Brown and his first name is Charley... you do the math!
There really is more to why I took my wifes last name. It was getting too much trouble to always explain why we had different names. There are plenty of people in my family to carry on the "family" name. I see no reason why women are always expected to adopt the mans last name. I'm not hung up about being traditionalist. I love and respect my wife and I have gained far more than I have lost (if any loss at all). Besides, Charley Brown, c'mon! How could I not?

[Athena-Nadine]

*...shrugs...* If/when I get married, I'm happily dropping my father's name for my husband's, and good riddance.

The only thing that would be a pain is learning an entirely new signature...

[Phoenix Blue]

Hell, woman, why wait? ;)

Oh, and I love how you say "if" like it might not happen. . . :p

[Athena-Nadine]

Hell, woman, why wait? ;)

Oh, and I love how you say "if" like it might not happen. . . :p:shhhh:

[Pesha]

Hurummph...no one owned me when I was married or otherwise. I use MS. because I am no longer a MRS. my husband died 9 years ago. And I rather liked my late husbands surname. So I am who I am. Nes pa?

BB
DS.

[Ceallach]

Call me old-fashioned. I had no problem taking my hubby's last name. Some asked me why because I had a "noble Scottish" last name, Stewart, but, I love being part of my husband. It makes me proud to state my whole name Mrs KJR. I do admire those who make their own unique names or keep their maiden. Its part of what being diverse is all about!

Bright Blessings.

[Autumn]

I kept my name, I saw no reason to trade a name that nobody pronounces properly for one that is usually mispelled!!

In my family folks dropped the original middle name so "Jane Anne Wood became Jane Wood Stone. My inlaws took the approach that your name became Jane Anne Stone. I think it's just a matter of local custom and how well you like your middle name. My Mother gave me her maidan name as a middle name and I wish she hadn't, the Credit card question, "mothers maidan name means I have to stop and remember that I used her original middle name for this.

[Morrighana]

While I don't see myself getting married anytime soon (if at all), I fully intend upon dropping my current surname as soon as I move out of the city in which I currently reside. I've always abhorred the name, and since I was very young I have been contemplating what to change it to. I have decided to stay within family lines, that is, go back either a generation, or two, and choose a new surname from there.

I don't mind that surnames are generally male-oriented...they've got to be tied to SOMETHING, or there'd be no way to trace your ancestry. If it wasn't men, it'd be women, and that'd have the guys feeling left out. *shrugs*