Did I do the right thing?

[LadyWillow]

Ok, please bear with me, this might get kind of long.

There is this guy at school that seems to be sort of obsessed with me. Since Kindergarten, he has liked me and constantly asked me out. About two weeks ago, he approached me at my car while I was putting my bookbag in and getting ready to get in, and started talking to me. And then, he got to the topic of a relationship with him. I said no, several times, and he kept persisting. Needless to say, I bailed that situation as fast as I could. Since then, he as talked to me, touched me, hugged me, and will not leave me alone. And, I have told him several times to leave me alone.

After researching some of my books, I came up with several ideas of what I could do that would freeze his behavior, I did a cooling off spell, and today, he looked at me, but didn't approach me or talk to me. Since this has seemed to work, did I do the right thing in this case? Or is there anything else that I could do? I'm really getting stressed over this because it has become quite annoying.

[TYRRHENUS]

You sure did do the right thing. You might also want to have 911 on your speed-dial.

[FeatherGoblinglimmer]

If this guy was making you feel so uncomfortable then you did do the right thing. Stop doubting your action, it will only hinder it working. There is no point worrying. Stay strong((()))

[Gareth]

I agree, you did the right thing. Keep a cell phone with you, and have 911 on speed dial.

[LadyWillow]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I never thought about the fact of my cell phone and 911. So, it's going to be with me at all times, and if need be, I'll be able to reach someone. If he asks me again, and I refuse, I'm going to turn him into the office and hopefully that will straighten things out.

[She-Arna]

You sure did do the right thing! If it were me I would have cast a spell to make his family jewels fall off! lol

[Jenne]

Hugs and take care--be safe and stay alert--and psst! YOU DID THE RIGHT THING! :)

[LadyOak]

Oh yes, you did the right thing!

[LadyWillow]

lol She-Arna. My problem is I tend to be too nice, so I guess that's why I didn't do that. Thanks again for the replies, so far, he hasn't approached me, talked to me, any of that!

[9-2-2]

You did do the right thing, but I also believe in finding the root of the problem. Why is he so freaking obsessive? Does he have a mental disorder? Do his parents beat him up? Is he psychotically lonely? Once you eliminate the roots, the problem isn't a problem anymore. But, this would urn the risk of him misunderstanding that you really "like" him, by inquiring about his problems. Choose your battles wisely.

[Marchosias]

911 is just lovely, but you don't have an ETA for some cop. Get yourself a Stungun, and keep it on you at all times. At least in your purse. And make sure you can use it effectively.

[LadyWillow]

I haven't thought about a stun gun. Maybe mace would be another good thing to keep on hand..

I'm not sure why he's so obsessive, but I would like to know. I don't want to approach him and ask because I'm really sure that he would take that as a sign that I'm interested when I'm not. My spell seems to be working quite fine because since I've done it, he hasn't came up to me, or talked to me since.

[Chibi-Fallon]

Yeah 9-2-2's right. Find out why this guy's doing this.
And *don't* be nice to him. While, I don't mean to make assumtions, magick shouldn't be used as a way to put off having to tell him "I don't like you. At all. Now get the hell away from me."
If you said something to that effect, and he *still* wouldn't leave you alone tell someone if he does it again, because the guy might have some real problems. But hey, as long as he's leaving you alone.

[LadyWillow]

When he first approached me, I told him no that I did not want to go out with him. I've told him that several times, and when he came up to me several other times, I did tell him to get away from me, but he just wouldn't listen. That's when I decided to use magick.

[Chibi-Fallon]

Yes, but guys can be very stupid sometimes. They can be as stupid as girls who like someone. Honestly, if you didn't spell it out for him, he might still be holding onto some vain hope. Just don't pretend to be nice (especially if he doesn't have a lot of friends, as mean as that sounds).

[LadyWillow]

I know what you mean, and sometimes, I can't bring myself to be mean, but when he starts getting annoying, and believe me, he was way past that point the other day, I get ticked and that's when I start telling him off, and well, he didn't get it. And now, well he's not talking to me, so it looks like that everything is ok. However, it might change, and I hope it doesnt.

[9-2-2]

My spell seems to be working quite fine because since I've done it, he hasn't came up to me, or talked to me since.

Just be careful you didn't magickally summon, draw, or create a situation that may harm him. Binding's fine, and a restraining order's better. Have you cast any love spells, ever? You may have drawn his attraction that way.

[Lupa]

I always recommend to other women the value of a self defense course. One-time classes are okay, but I highly recommend enrolling in an ongoing course. Martial arts work (avoid the friggin' tai-bo, kick-aerobics crud) but do your research. Some rely primarily on striking (karate, tae kwon do) while others have a lot of grappling (judo). Try to find a studio with smaller classes, not the belt factories that are so popular today. I also suggest looking at less popular arts--you're less likely to get a watered-down version of it that way.

[Lupa]

I don't suggest weapons unless you're skilled in the,. Any weapon you have can easily be taken from you and used against you, even mace or stun guns. Your own body is your best weapon. Learn to use it.

[LadyWillow]

No, I have not done in love spells. Well, I did years ago, but that's besides the point. Remember, he's been like this ever since I can remember. The spell I did now is a spell to help stop harrassment, which is basically what's he's doing. A restraining order would be really nice, but I don't know how that would work since we are at school and we will have to pass eachother in the halls.

[9-2-2]

No, I have not done in love spells. Well, I did years ago, but that's besides the point. Remember, he's been like this ever since I can remember. The spell I did now is a spell to help stop harrassment, which is basically what's he's doing. A restraining order would be really nice, but I don't know how that would work since we are at school and we will have to pass eachother in the halls.

Bring your case to a police station, and before you get one, tell them what's going on, and ASK them how it works. The usual restraining order prevents said harasser from coming within 500 feet of you. If you end up getting one, he will HAVE to move or he or his parents will be in trouble. It's a last straw situation but the surest one.

You must weigh the situation. Is he harassing you badly enough to make him move?

Contact his parents, and tell them that if he doesn't stop, you will force a restraining order and that he will either have to change schools or move altogether. That'd wake them up real quick.

Think long and hard about all sides of the equation. If he comes from a bad family, who knows what will happen if he brought such trouble down on the family (from their point of view).

That's one way to do it. The way I'd handle it, though, is this: have a friend talk to him, and see what's going on. Ask his parents what's going on, ask his friends what's happening. Get to the root of the problem as best you can, and find ways to solve it. Talk to us and tell us what's going on after you do that... let us know if you've succeeded.

[LadyWillow]

He's not harrassing me bad enough to get him to move, yet anyway. He's just become quite annoying. Especially when I'm at my locker talking to someone getting ready to leave and such. I am worried that if I have someone approach him about his behavior, that it will just make it worse. When I went upstairs for lunch one day, he was sitting at my lunch table! However, that was the only day he did that. He hasn't approached me at my car, nor has he stopped at my locker or talked to me while I'm waiting to leave.

So, should I just let the spell take care of this, or should I try to mess with things further and possibley get the behavior to start again?