an article against us Wiccans

[DixieWitch]

I was shown this by another person today. I looked around but did see a similar post. Warning--this site will probably bring anger to some.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0702/wiccans.html

It's very intersting to see some ppl's view. Didn't realize you could see with your close-minded head so far up your butt!!

[Sylvan]

Landover Baptist is a joke site. Take a look at the bumper stickers they're selling and tell me if any real christian woul dbe caught dead with one on their car...

[Hawk Shadowsoul]

Upset???? This is one of the funniest things I have ever read! Got any more?

[Valnorran]

Are you sure this isn't a parody site? Some of those adds didn't look like something fundies would endorse. I was lmfao throughout the whole article, especially as I was reading all our characteristics. Then I got worried when I read about the underwear. Oh crap, I do own some black underwear! Oh, well, as long as it doesn't become outerwear I should be safe enough! Wonder what they'd say about those of us that are Libertarians. And the Jews and Catholics are in on it, too! Now we got 'em outnumbered!

Someone please tell me this is a parody site. I promise I'll believe you. Just please tell me. Somebody? Anybody?

[Flaire-FireStar]

I think this article was posted before too. :huh:


*chuckles*


Look for multiple piercing and piercing in peculiar places like the nose, cheeks, eyebrows, lips, fingertips, chin, forehead, tongue, and on the shocking devil’s tip of the ear!

:eek:

[DixieWitch]

So, lemme get this sraight..there's a fake Christian site makig fun of fake Wiccans? I really hope too many Christians or otherwise non-Pagans aren't readig this...who knows what they will try to do to us next. I had that sense it wasn't real. But hey, if you got a laugh, then I've done my job. Laugh is what I did! Oh and it made me feel pity for a while. Because if there really are ppl out there in the world, then Goddess help us all. I'll have to let me friend know the site isn't real. She wrote the "minister" of the site a letter!! She was really mad when she saw this site and then in her email about it!!

[Sylvan]

It's a fake christian site making fun of fundies who blow everything out of proportion.

As long as real christians or otherwise non-pagans get to the site through the front page, they'll see all the ads and other over-the-top stuff and realize that they can't take any of it seriously.

I remember when Star Wars Episode One came out, how they had an article talking about a recall of JarJar Binks toys because they had protruding, moving tongues that little kids could use as dildos...

[Old Witch]

Landover Strikes Again! :rolleyes:

[DixieWitch]

I remember when Star Wars Episode One came out, how they had an article talking about a recall of JarJar Binks toys because they had protruding, moving tongues that little kids could use as dildos...
Man I missed that toy!! Wish I coulda known about it!! LOL Bet that's the only one in the series my hubby doesn't own!! hehe

[Theres]

all hail Landover Baptist!

i love this site. see if you can find anything there about Betty Bower, the world's most saved person. :lol: she's just TOO perfect!

[door]

My favorite is the ad/link of Jesus surfing the net on a crucifix surfboard. That site is way too over-the-top to be real. To be on the safe side I think I will check for peeps in public bathrooms, I don't want them to see me urinating in three streams!

[Imbrium]

:rotfl:

Whoo, Hoo,....for a minute there I thought that was an article from my old church. I have such fond memories......

[DixieWitch]

I know too many ppl know that have written the ministers of that site!! I should post some of their letters!! I went back to the site and re-read it thoroughly...I can't believe I thought it was real for one second. Guess I need some sleep! Guess I gotta go break some ppl's hearts and tell them it's fake <sigh>

[Theres]

it is a very cleverly done site.
the paranoias they satire have been accurately reproduced to a scarey degree.

[MoonRaven]

In an act that can only be described as pure evil, a rabid young Wiccan girl wearing a black cape burst into the Landover Baptist 11 a.m. Sunday morning church service and flung the bloody carcass of a headless black cat across 297 pews.
If I could fling a headless cat carcass across 297 pews, I'd be in the Olympics.

[zakzekezedd]

Yeah! But what about the over the top uber-Christians who actually buy into that nonsense? (Come on..my granny actually believed a "joke" on the Tongiht Show about a toilet paper shortage being imminent...we had the market cornered on Charmin for the next 2 years after that one.......)

[aefentid]

I love Landover's movie reviews ,my favorite one is the Two Towers review. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1202/twotowers.html

[awyrdone]

that's hilarious.

[Nymph]

Man, I love that site. I want to get a 'heathen' T-shirt!

[Imbrium]

I just discovered that some evangelical Christians aren't too happy with the Landover Baptist site. I also discovered that the internet is the rightful property of all Christians! Here is one quote of many that I ran in to while browsing...


The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1 (http://www.grace24u.org/cnation.html), 2 (http://www.wherethetruthhurts.org/tractsbooksread.php?w=8), 3 (http://www.afn.org/~govern/Christian_Nation.html)] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.

For this reason, this website was created to try and stop one of the more vile and dangerous misuses of the Internet: using it to mock Our Lord Jesus Christ, His teachings, and His followers. And one site in particular stands out in need of stoppage: Landover Baptist.


Link to Landover Baptist website (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/)
WARNING: Should not be viewed by anyone under 21


Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.

For this blasphemous atrocity, the Landover Baptist website must be removed from our Internet.



These people need to aquire a sense of humor!

[WynterWynd]

Landover Baptist strikes again:rotfl: Are they still selling Jesus BVDs??:lol:

[Traknavar]

That was some funny sheet! :lol: :rotfl: :veryweird

[Ceallach]

Landover Baptist is run by an organization that calls itself - no doubt in gleeful mockery of Our Lord - Americhrist Ltd. Its leader is a shadowy figure named Chris Harper who apparently has a history of anti-Christian bigotry. Although Landover Baptist claims to own vast properties and have thousands of members, in reality it exists only on the Internet and it's membership is quite small.

Their modus operandi is simple: post articles that take good Christian values and twist them - beyond recognition - such that they look arrogant, hateful, or just idiotic. To this they add a continuous mockery of The Lord and Salvation, such as portraying Jesus Christ as the captain of a decadent cruise ship or offering a free cellphone as a reward for those who become saved - demeaning the value of Salvation to that of some material trinket!

I think they are all a bunch of crazies! I, also, had a good chuckle, but stopped when I read that they suggest placing a childs hand on a hot stove for masturbation and cutting a chunk off a young girls ear for listening to music. As much as we make fun for it being ridiculous, there still shouldn't be someone out there saying that kind of crap. Some people believe what they read. Would you want to be that person's child? Probably not.

[Theres]

Some people believe what they read.

caveat emptor.

[WynterWynd]

No, no one would want to be that persons child....but I believe there is a discalimer at the bottom of that page that states that site is all a parody.

I will admit the first time I came across that site, I got all wound up:meanface:......but then again, the site 'Why wiccan Suck usually stirs up a good deal of irritation too!

[Ceallach]

caveat emptor.

good point.

[Garnet]

"Wiccans are generally overweight & of pale complexion" Well, they have me pegged right, although I prefer to refer to my complexion as 'delicate, like magnolia blossom petals', but I digress.

"...like Jewish people, Wiccans kidnap Christian children & drink their blood to seal their commitment to Satan." Hmmm.....since I'm a Jewitch, does that mean I'm entitled to twice as many Christian children as the rest of you? How much blood does it take? Does blood have to be drunk 'raw' or is there a recipe to make it more palatable?

I don't like jerky, 'Jesus' or otherwise. Can I 'make do' with a mushroom streudel?

I didn't know I had to sign a contract with Satan to be a witch or a Wiccan. Is there a copy of it at Landover Baptist or anywhere? I want my lawyer to review it before I sign it.

[Gareth]

If you dig deep at that site, you'll find a very funny review of the Scooby-Doo movie! When I first saw that site I was skeptical, but knowing how people can believe anything, I wasn't sure.
Then I looked deep and laghed my butt off! :)
I got a kick out of Ms. Bowers, that whole site is a good source of scary humor.

[Drisel]

thanks for the link I needed a good laugh..

[WandererInGray]

If I could fling a headless cat carcass across 297 pews, I'd be in the Olympics.
Heck if I could throw a live cat that far I'd be in the Olympics! :lol:

I especially loved the review of Gladiator when it came out, hilarious! :D

[Pesha]

It is a parody site, and while not always in good taste, I have seen alot of folks upset by what they put there. Even I once went ballistic over something they had put up on witchs. I guess we just have to learn to laugh at them and go on our ways. Ah Landover, ye have done it again, naughty people!!

BB
DS.

[Xander67]

Landover Baptist........ Oh when will they close that site? lol

[mol]

Landover Baptist........ Oh when will they close that site? lol
Hopefully, never. It's hilarious!

[Rain Gnosis]

Hopefully, never. It's hilarious!

:D

[Xander67]

I guess it is funny to watch and see who actually falls for it and thinks its real..

[Fairywolf]

I think that is one of the funniest sites!!! I have ran accross a couple of others like that and laughed my arse off!!! :lol:

[~ Monk ~]

I especially loved the review of Gladiator when it came out, hilarious! :D
Russell Crowe stars as General Maximus, a downwardly mobile Roman who is forced into the most base of all professions -- show business. He entertains at amphitheaters throughout suburban Rome by decapitating Christians with an unrefined swagger too gruff to remind one of any genuine heterosexual males. Indeed, his technique clearly draws on the exaggeratedly robust manliness that can only be found in Women's Professional Basketball.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Ben Trismegistus]

For more Christian parody entertainment, I highly recommend Betty Bowers: America's Best Christian, located at http://www.bettybowers.com

Particularly amusing is the site for BASH: Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals (http://www.bettybowers.com/bash.html). The testimonials are hilarious.

Before finding Jesus, I would go out shopping and haul back bags of ill-conceived wardrobe accessories. No more! For example, the other day I was at T. J. Maxx. I looked at a linen-colored polo shirt. Then back at the periwinkle. Which one to buy? I'd love to get both, but could barely afford one. Two would be sinful. So, I asked myself what I always ask myself when faced with such a moral dilemma: What Would Jesus Do? The answer came to me immediately. He would chose the linen. It has that deliciously understated quality that would allow the King of Kings to mix without remark with even the lowest dregs of humanity. And versatility is an important component to any wardrobe. I grabbed the lighter shirt and walked to the register with the sure step of purpose that only comes from knowing God regards you as a smart shopper. But just as I handed the sales clerk my linen polo, it hit me. What Would Jesus Do? Yes, He would do linen. Definitely. But only before the crucifixion. After the ascension, he would surely go for the more showy "look what I did" periwinkle. I then knew that He meant for me to have both. Isn't God good to us?

[Theres]

:lol:

personally i think Jesus would've have gone with the linen, and then accessorize, accessorize, accessorize!

[Equinox]

I’ve watched the landover Baptist site for years! Soooooooooo funny!! It works against depression too! I still gotta get me some of that cool stuff! So in case anyone needs an idea for a birthday or yule present for me……..


-Equinox

[Hoot]

Landover Baptist, Betty Bowers, The Onion - all those websites make me howl - er, hoot, I mean.

[Psyche Ague]

My favorite is the ad/link of Jesus surfing the net on a crucifix surfboard. That site is way too over-the-top to be real. To be on the safe side I think I will check for peeps in public bathrooms, I don't want them to see me urinating in three streams!
:lol: How was this missed! LMAO!

Thanks for the link. I forgot that site existed. Now I know what to do when I'm bored. ;)

[Chibi-Fallon]

They even got my favorite stereotype in there! It makes me so sad that about two people have picked up on that an insane amount of the Pagan population that’s overweight. Why will no one make fun of that? It'd be one thing if no one made fun of fat people to begin with but they do. It bothers me to no end and I have no idea why.
Not that I want people making fun of Wiccans, or fat people, but at least give yourself some decent material if you're going to. That's my take on it.
Although they do a nice job of it on Loveline, the best one probably being Adam's definition of Wicca (and ladies and gents it's a *joke* take your fingers of the ACLU speed dial button before I'm forced to break them):
"Wicca. Drew, lemme tell you what Wicca is, Wicca is a bunch of fat chicks who recycle. That's Wicca."
See, there's a decent stereotype! Not the skinny gothic blood drinking baby killing one, that one's been done to death.

[Darkstaff]

Hey I must be a Wiccan! My piercings give me away! LMFAO!

[Darkstaff]

As far as my piercings go, BTW, I guess I "mock the trinity"! Yep, three way spray here! Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[WynterWynd]

:rotfl:

[DixieWitch]

As far as my piercings go, BTW, I guess I "mock the trinity"! Yep, three way spray here! Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!

T.M.I. There are certain things I coulda done without knowing!! LOL
:seehearsp

[WynterWynd]

a true over-share!:lol:

[Ryhla]

You know, I almost completely forgot about the Landover Babtist site until this post. I should check it more often....:lol:

[Adam Of Avalon]

Did anyone see the fake ads on the side? Surfin' With Jesus? He's surfing his cross! It's hilarious. That and the guy above him with the five chins.