View Full Version : when is the best time to start sex ed?

October 10th, 2003, 11:52 AM
being upfront about the thread in the title for those who disagree with responsible behavior.
But when is the best time to start teaching a child about sex?
When they start to ask? For me I never asked and I got all my education form my gay brother. I thank him for it now but at the time I though "TMI!"
When they reach a certain age? 9-13 maybe?
When they start having sex, or is that too late?
When ever they can handle it?

October 10th, 2003, 11:54 AM
the day they are born!

I am only kinda kidding here

Yes they can handle it :)

start small (age and talk)

and let it be part of what you ALWAYS discuss


October 10th, 2003, 11:56 AM
My parents were open and honest about sex and reproduction for as far back as I can remember. I was six when I first saw The Miracle of Life on PBS, and I grew up watching mating stuff in various animal documentaries.

I've heard experts say that it doesn't matter how young you start, as long as you do start while the kids are young, and to remember that children will absorb whatever they are capable of absorbing and will forget the rest until they are ready to process that part of the teaching at a later point when the subject is discussed again.

October 10th, 2003, 12:09 PM
I agree with "from birth"...there are always ways that you can teach in an age appropriate manner about sex. It's so important that kids regard sex with respect, but know that it's not something to be ashamed of..it's a wonderful thing.


October 11th, 2003, 01:10 AM
I've seen this a million times on TV, so... :)

When they're very young, it's probably easier to teach them the technical names of body parts..Not necessarily about SEX itself. I would teach that later, maybe around 8 years old. *nod*

Starry Di
October 11th, 2003, 09:14 PM
I've read also that you should be discussing sex with the kids since birth, as then they won't be as embarassed to ask you questions and such. I once asked my mother what a climax (orgasm) was (as I was reading her sex books) and she never answered me. I'm awful glad I figured it out on my own, insted of having a boy show me :rolleyes:

October 13th, 2003, 10:46 AM
From birth. Seriously.

Teach them to have respect for their bodies, and respect for the bodies of other people. Asnwer any and all questions as they come up - truthfully and without embarrassment. As they see things on tv or movies, use the opportunity to open up communication about the topic.

My boys are currently 15, 13 and 9. ALL of them are comfortable asking me questions about sexuality, and I ALWAYS answer truthfully. They trust that if I don't know the answer, I will GET the answer for them.

By fostering an open and honest relationship with the child, you create a bond of trust. But in addition to that, you make them realize that sex is a normal and natural part of life, but it's a special part, not to be taken lightly.

October 13th, 2003, 10:56 AM
All I can say is DITTO. I don't think it's ever too early to start. Physical intimacy starts much earlier these days, and education is the only thing that will keep our kids safe and alive... and hopefully not reproducing.

October 13th, 2003, 11:22 AM

October 13th, 2003, 11:28 AM
Sorry about the above post my puppy jumped on the keyboard and hit enter.( I don't how to edit the post after it has posted) What I was going to say was, I agree with everyone else start very early. I did with mine although not by choice(my DD was raped at 3 yrs old) but now at 12 and 13 both kids know alot and are not afraid to ask me questions and hopefully will not believe the "you won't get pregnant if you..." line. I had a friend in high school that got pregnant because her BF told her she would not get pregnant if SHE did not climax! Needless to say it did not work and she did not even have fun!
DUH!!!! I just found the edit button!! I need more coffee!! :lol: :lol:

October 13th, 2003, 04:01 PM
I'm the mom of 7...really, 5 boys, 2 girls. I found it was best to answer ANY question directly...such as "Mom, where do babies come from?" The correct answer is usually "The hospital" or "Well, you were born in Cleveland." Seriously, when they ask that question the first time, thats usually the answer they are looking for,lol. Don't overwhelm them with info.It can really confuse them at young ages.

As they get older, they will ask more detailed questions. Again, keep your answers simple and straight-forward. My mother did not talk to her 3 daughters about bodily functions and sex until it was WAY too late. I didn't know what a 'period' was until I actually STARTED mine! I was spending the night at a friends house and HER mom had to explain it to me! I was seriously freaking out, thinking I had some dread affliction and was about to die!(We did not have sex-ed in school way back then) I found out about sex itself when I lost my virginity. Don't wait that long!

I was very open and honest with my kids. Even though I got embarrassed at times (like when my then-13 yr old son asked me about 'wet dreams' and masturbation), I answered every question as they asked it. Some info I gave them at younger ages without them asking. This is important, especially for girls.Menstruation is occuring at earlier ages than in years past (experts say its better diets and medical care) and it can be scary as hell if a girl starts and has no clue what is happening. (I was 11)

If you have no clue what to say to your kids, get some books on the subject from your library or look up resources online. Or embarrass the hell out of your own parents...call THEM up and ask for advice on this (thats always fun ;)

October 13th, 2003, 04:07 PM
I know people that are younger then my and has had sex and oral sex. And i'm only 14

October 13th, 2003, 04:27 PM
My school had sex ed, when I was in high school. I had already been menustrating for five years! My mother didn't tell me what to expect either and I was scared and embarrassed.

The girls in my family start menustrating at age 9 so I sat my daughter down at age 8 to let her know what to expect. If I had a son I wouldn't know when to tell them about the changes ahead. My daughter was telling me today that her boss's ex-wife had "the talk" with their son just a couple of months ago, and he's 9. And just last week he discovered his first pubic hair. Good thing she let him know what to expect already.

And I so agree about letting the kids know that it's okay to talk about these things from the time they learn to start talking. And be open to whatever they may ask questions about.

October 14th, 2003, 07:24 PM
My daughter is 8 and already has these mood swings....Im not ready for any of that-YIKES! But I am very open with the kids cuz its so important and theyve heard alot of things alrready from little friends, cousins, etc. But I think Ill let my husband have the majority of the talk with the boys

October 14th, 2003, 07:29 PM
I think that it should be age appropriate but from day one... just make sure it is age appropriate so they do not have too little or too much information.. :)

Hawk Shadowsoul
October 19th, 2003, 10:27 PM
At birth. Always be open andhonest so as they mature and grow they will trust you to give the correct answer.