a letter to god

[willowfairy]

i don't know if anyone has ever posted this letter, but it's so funny, i just have to put it up. :)

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people
with God's law. I've learned a great deal from you,
and I try to share that knowledge with as many
people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it
to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding
some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know
it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The
problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not
pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it
suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what
do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness
(Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I
have tried asking, but most women seem to take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the
nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that
this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Please clarify?
It says, also, that if I hit my slaves I shouldn't kill
them, as it ruins them for work purposes--but it's fine with
God if I maim them a little, putting them at death's door--
so long as I get another days work out of them...What's the
best method?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be
put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of
God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that
I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have
to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you've studied these things extensively,
so I'm confident you can help.

Thanks again for reminding us that God's Word is
eternal and unchanging.



Not Yours,
A Bible Reader




:D i just love this! :D

[Rævyn Cigány]

I have seen this once or twice, and I agree, this is just SO funny! Thank you so much for sharing this with us! It staggers the mind on how anyone , never mind someone in the public eye, could be so infuriatingly naive and uneducated....grrr...anyway before I start to rant again, I'm going to say thank you once again for the laugh!

BB

Rae )0(

[stirata]

I had someone send that to me as an e-mail. I have to admit, it made me laugh. I made me realize how little questioning some people put into what they read and believe. Maybe it's just me.

[rantnraven]

I rather like the "Thou shall not kill" but later it is said to Let not a Witch live.

While funny, however, to some of us, we must take into account that we do have a number of Christians on this Porch. We may wish to take measures as to cause no harm or ill-feelings.

No, I am neither a moderator, nor a den mother (in a mans body). Just a thought with good intent.

Blessings,
RnR:)

[Skye]

Originally posted by rantnraven

While funny, however, to some of us, we must take into account that we do have a number of Christians on this Porch. We may wish to take measures as to cause no harm or ill-feelings.



I don't believe the intent of this post was to bash Christian beliefs, however, to remember when you give advice and put yourself above others, you may be in for a lot of critizism.

That was my view, I could be why off as to the submitters intention.

I personly can't stand Dr. Laura.........thought this was very funny:D

Thanx for the laugh!

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Skye


I don't believe the intent of this post was to bash Christian beliefs, however, to remember when you give advice and put yourself above others, you may be in for a lot of critizism.

That was my view, I could be why off as to the submitters intention.

I personly can't stand Dr. Laura.........thought this was very funny:D

Thanx for the laugh!

Your candor is well received. I, too, do not believe the intent was to bash. However, it struck me that it could be preceived as such.

I too thought it was funny8O

[Rævyn Cigány]

*shakes head* and this lady has her own talk show...


:crazy:

BB

Rae )0(

[Skye]

*cringing*

and people really listen to her opinions

**Really Cringing**

and accepts everything she says as truth