Utterly frickin CLUELESSS..help?

[Maryn]

Alright.. having a bit of trouble. Firstly, I am having a problem finding what Paganistic religion in specific suits me best. I started researching Stregheria..due to it being my family's tradition. But I feel like I should be with something that focuses more on Nature.
Out of frustration I decided trying to find my Goddess would help me find some direction.
SO last night I meditated aalled on my God/dess to show me themselves and help me.

It only took a few momets..and I saw a cat..a black cat in particular..it looked at me, and turned and started walking..wanting me to follow, so I did. It took me to a Raven haired woman, very beautiful and very pale. Behind her was a huge full moon (as if she was in the heavens right in front of it), and she was over a body of water. It was very dark, and she just stood there, smiling at first..very securely, comfortable, with a 'knowing' look on her face. She was serene. She closed her eyes and a light wind blew, flivking her hair about..and she relished in it. I was completely absorbed by her..and couldn't even think to ask her anything or talk at all. All I could focus on was what I have already described..I noticed nothing in her hands, no jewelry, but I think she was wearing a dark colored robe.

I am having a terrible time identifyi.
Any ideas who she may be?

[Rain Gnosis]

Nope, I don't know, there's not much to go on there. If I were you I'd go back into meditation and ask her :) Sometimes there's a reason the answer isn't obvious, know what I mean?

[Maryn]

Not much at all. I am going to try meditating again this evening to ask for some answers.

I should also mention that the things associated with her make sense to me, and apply to me. I am a cancer..a moon and water sign and have always been drawn to them. The cat..well, I have always been able to identify with cats (domestic and wild) and hold them in very high reguard.

I also want to apologize for typos here and there...my keyboard is picking and chosing which keys will and won't work..lol

[Mau]

Not much at all. I am going to try meditating again this evening to ask for some answers.


HA!!!
Yeah. That 'almost' helped. The only quiet time I got to meditate was when I went to take a bath...I figured, what better place? I'm so relaxed in there.

It took me about 10 minutes to get to a good state and start requesting the Goddess's prescence, or at least voice to tell me her name.

I'm completely focused on listening and seeing...and all of the sudden I hear a haggish, very demanding voice ask (very rudely)..

"What is the name?!"
"What are you thinking?!"

I was SO thrown off by the shrewdness of the voice, that I stammered. I had been focused on one thing..and she's demanding to know another..Bast popped into my head..but I knew that was because I been reading about her about an hour ago..and all of the sudden in my head and out loud I replied 'rhemrah' (I'm spelling that how it sounds..because I have NO idea it would be spelled).

I know there is no way that voice is from the deitie/spirit guide? I saw last nite..and I was so unsettled by it that I thought it best to stop meditation for a bit and if I could find anyone/anything that goes by that name. I can find nothing...no matter how many different ways I spell it.

Trying to get closer to things..seems to be pushing me farther into confusion..how fun..LOL :rolleyes:

[Mithrea]

I was going to pm you about this but I'm not sure if I should be pming Maryn or Mau . . .

[Mau]

I was going to pm you about this but I'm not sure if I should be pming Maryn or Mau . . .



I registered as Maryn initially..but felt the need to change it, lol. The only one I really log on with now is Mau..so that's the best bet :D
I'd more than appreciate any help on the subject, thanks ;)

[NightBathen]

I think the answer is pretty obvious, you are begging for attention from the anima aspect of your subconcious mind. All the images that you see are the stereotypical generic "goddess" atributes. The moon, the water, the black hair,
pale skin, raven hair. You got what you asked for, I think someone is trying to tell you that your particular path doesnt cut specific yet, just to attune yourself to the goddess (note I wasn't speaking pluraly)

[mothwench]

why don't you do some googling on *arianrhod*? just a hunch.

[Mau]

why don't you do some googling on *arianrhod*? just a hunch.
I may do that..but I think I have figured her out ;)
Hecate. There are so many reasons I would need her (especially now) that she may as well have just looked at me and said 'DUH' :megaphone

[TYRRHENUS]

I started researching Stregheria..due to it being my family's tradition. But I feel like I should be with something that focuses more on Nature.
You're Italian I take it. Good... you already have an advantage. :)
And you want to focus more on nature, so I'd say start researching stregoneria. Sounds like a good match.

[Mau]

You're Italian I take it. Good... you already have an advantage. :)
And you want to focus more on nature, so I'd say start researching stregoneria. Sounds like a good match.

LOL..yes, I am Italian, and already familiar with many traditions and rituals practiced in Stregheria (like the Malocchio, putting out food for the dead on The Night of Shadows/Samhain etc).And though there is a good bit of info out there on it..it isn't all of it. Italians are sneaky ;) (because they're very distrustful and superstitious) There is much you can only learn from a familiar Strega, and the only ones who would be willing to bestow all of their knowledge down to you..would be a family member, family is extremely valuable..and many feel family are the only people you can actually trust. So without my grandmother here to teach me..I'm left out on alot. My one shot at getting all the knowledge I need..is attempting to reach out to her this Samhain and asking her to help me from the otherworld during meditation. If I'm not successful in that..the best I can hope for is eclectic solitary witch..dabbling in some Strega rituals and practices, which I don't really mind, because either way I finally feel 'at home'.

[TYRRHENUS]

Wait... I'm confused. Maryn/Mau... did you change your name/s?

[Mau]

LOL//yes I did..I think there's a post on page one from me explaining it. I originally registered with my real name..and then decided I wanted to change it...just call me fickle ;)

[Cerulean]

She has so many guises and aspects. This doesn't ring a particular bell, except for the obvious, as the person above has written. Attunement to divine guidance comes with practice. More details are given as the worshipper grows in understanding. If you ask for her presence, and call her sacred names and leave yourself open, you will invoke the Goddess. There are ways to set up your space for worship to facilitate a good atmosphere and to attract and honor Her. Follow the advice that resounds with you. If you feel more comfortable, call on the powers of the universe for now. Whatever style of worship seems right and true to you is fine. You'll know when you experience The Presence of the Divine.

[DebLipp]

Sounds very much like Isis.

[nikikhandola]

as u did this at night it was most likely to be an egyption godess called nyx.she is a goddess of the night.she is a very old diety and the fact she was wearing a black robe points to her aswell. the only other one i can think of is nephthys also an egyption goddess.she is a pure nocturnal deity.she also has has some lunar aspects to her and the woman u saw was standing infront of a full moon. you may want to look into these to a bit more.cant really think of anyone else it might be.hope this has helped u a bit thoughxx :)

[Kalika]

Bast and Isis come to mind... although these don't sound like dieties that you are typically associated with... but you never know. Do you feel drawn to any specific pantheon?