Talon
October 29th, 2003, 08:48 AM
these dreams stemm from reality and have been told to another in a private chat the view points shared there have prompted me to bring them here if here is the correct place.
i was sitting on the stone deck my back against a sandstone wall of a building early in the morning i just could not go to sleep so i went out to look at the moon (almost full)
i found a small rug and plopped my ass on the deck and started to drift of to my happy place
the adrenaline rush of not knowing why you cant hear anything why you cant see anything
why are you covered in sand why cant i breathe !?!
then the fine silt like sand starts to filter down out of the air letting me see again the concushion from the explosion knocked the breath out of me and deffened me temporarily
i am on my feet in almost an instant then think that was stuped to stand up and time stops
i go to throw myself to the ground but fall slower than a feather drifting down
i have all the time in the world to think of my children and watch them grow up again in memories of my mind ( a man about to die sees his life flash before his eyes )
time speeds up and slam into the ground i slide against the wall hands holding my head.
i ask myself why am i staying here snoorting sand off the deck and i hear my self reply because i came out here to look at the moon. so i sit back up on the little rug and look at the moon until others come rushing out to see what happened and find me there on my rug
stareing at the moon shrapnel from a chinese 81 mm mortar imbedded in the wall all over the place i dug one piece out of the wall about the size of a dime
i havent ducked again in 5 months and barely slept
watching death in the movies is nothing like the horrible thrill of killing
one second you see him infront of you the next his robe snapps back and he spins in a circle levaling a rifle off towards you seeing the small flashes of flame at the muzzle as you feel the recoil of the rife pressing into your shoulder before you realise you pulled the trigger
your aim is true and you see the beautiful red spray of blood spreading through the white cloth of his clothing the body falls to the earth and is motionless "GOT EM" rolls through your mind and out your mouth. adrenaline fills your veins like whisky and floods your mind like speed 100.000 miles an houre your heart races along
you start looking for another target you see the barrel of another rifle poking around the corner of a building you can see movement through a window you can feel them watching you every where you look every one of them is the enemy no matter the age
or are they the enemy your stomach convulses as you realise you just killed another childs father another mothers son another human ...another emeny before he killed me ...... another... another... another ...
how many so far do i want to count
how many more do i dare guess
how long can my sanity last
will life seem dull now? i have no idea... different ...yes definety
life will definity be different for them, there families, me, and mine
i dont intend to be sitting on a street corner 5 years after the war with a sighn
GULF WAR 2 VET
WILL WORK FOR FOOD
but i understand now why they are there
i will deal with my issues and night terrors (that i currently do experience)
and these are but 2 of many night terrors i am facing
i am putting these out here in hopes that venting them will help
talon
i was sitting on the stone deck my back against a sandstone wall of a building early in the morning i just could not go to sleep so i went out to look at the moon (almost full)
i found a small rug and plopped my ass on the deck and started to drift of to my happy place
the adrenaline rush of not knowing why you cant hear anything why you cant see anything
why are you covered in sand why cant i breathe !?!
then the fine silt like sand starts to filter down out of the air letting me see again the concushion from the explosion knocked the breath out of me and deffened me temporarily
i am on my feet in almost an instant then think that was stuped to stand up and time stops
i go to throw myself to the ground but fall slower than a feather drifting down
i have all the time in the world to think of my children and watch them grow up again in memories of my mind ( a man about to die sees his life flash before his eyes )
time speeds up and slam into the ground i slide against the wall hands holding my head.
i ask myself why am i staying here snoorting sand off the deck and i hear my self reply because i came out here to look at the moon. so i sit back up on the little rug and look at the moon until others come rushing out to see what happened and find me there on my rug
stareing at the moon shrapnel from a chinese 81 mm mortar imbedded in the wall all over the place i dug one piece out of the wall about the size of a dime
i havent ducked again in 5 months and barely slept
watching death in the movies is nothing like the horrible thrill of killing
one second you see him infront of you the next his robe snapps back and he spins in a circle levaling a rifle off towards you seeing the small flashes of flame at the muzzle as you feel the recoil of the rife pressing into your shoulder before you realise you pulled the trigger
your aim is true and you see the beautiful red spray of blood spreading through the white cloth of his clothing the body falls to the earth and is motionless "GOT EM" rolls through your mind and out your mouth. adrenaline fills your veins like whisky and floods your mind like speed 100.000 miles an houre your heart races along
you start looking for another target you see the barrel of another rifle poking around the corner of a building you can see movement through a window you can feel them watching you every where you look every one of them is the enemy no matter the age
or are they the enemy your stomach convulses as you realise you just killed another childs father another mothers son another human ...another emeny before he killed me ...... another... another... another ...
how many so far do i want to count
how many more do i dare guess
how long can my sanity last
will life seem dull now? i have no idea... different ...yes definety
life will definity be different for them, there families, me, and mine
i dont intend to be sitting on a street corner 5 years after the war with a sighn
GULF WAR 2 VET
WILL WORK FOR FOOD
but i understand now why they are there
i will deal with my issues and night terrors (that i currently do experience)
and these are but 2 of many night terrors i am facing
i am putting these out here in hopes that venting them will help
talon