Is fear normal?

[LeftToWonder]

I had a sudden motivation a few months ago, and I began to question my spirtuality, I dont know where I stand, I was raised in a very christian enviroment, still live with my parents, although that will hopefully change soon. :) I keep telling my self it is normal to fear change, and that the unknown is something to be discovered, but my conditioning tells me that If I dont do A B and C, and follow law D E and F then I am an evil person, Am I just rebeling, and repressing something that I should be accepting? Or is it possible that I fear not the unknown, but rejection, from my peers, and my family.

Who knows, I dont, maybe someone can help me out, Maybe I answered my self, but I am not able to accept the answer. Any thoughts, or suggestions on my plight?

[Cerulean]

Sounds like your feelings are normal to me.

[iaphoenix]

I ran into some of the same things, raised Christian, active in the church, etc. Fear is normal when making a change of this magnitude. I'm a bit skittish. One woman I work with still keeps her spirituality mostly to herself after decades. Listen to yourself. People usually know a lot more than they think if they just slow down and use some patience.

[Faery-Wings]

Yeah I think it is normal too. When I first started reading about Wicca, there was enough brainwashing in me left from my Catholic upbringing to make me unnerved.

On the good side- it went away! :lol:

[JWill0ws]

I think it is perfectly normal. Though I have not believed in the traditions of the religion in which I was raised for many years, it is still difficult when you research something that can be quite different. The problem I am having now is the tripple goddess/god. Though, it makes perfect sense to me - I grew up learning one god - one part - (Judaism). :bangyourh At least christianity has the holy trinity :)

Hey, I was even told that typing 'god' was wrong (should do it 'g-d') - so at least I am making some strides!!!

Good luck in your journey. Listen and go with your gut - I find it is usually right on the mark, despite initial fears and disillusionments.

:fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms - cheering you on!!


:jamsessio - only because it was too cute!!!

[stevie]

When I picked up my frist Pagan book, I was fearful. I was very sceard even buying it. But, later when I began to read it, I felt for the frist time that I was reading something my heart believed in. Although, I'm use to now, I'm still fearful about telling my familly because they very Christan.
But, all my friends and co-workers know.

[GreenCrone]

Your fears are perfectly normal for someone brought up in Christianity. That is a religion that is based on fear. Fear of God, fear of going to hell, fear of not conforming to the group, fear of sinning. The list goes on and on. The one thing I felt when I finally came to Wicca is a final end of that fear within me. Of course, your fear may be as you've mentioned, worry about how family and friends will react to your new path. That is the reason why so many witches stay silent, for good or ill. Take it slow. If you wish to let others know what spiritual path your on approach the subject gently. Possibly by starting a more general discussion about religions and what your family member think about them.

[banondraig]

there's a saying among wiccans, "where there's fear, there's power."

i studied for about ten years before i was finally able to tell my parents. even that was sort of a roundabout thing as i had kept all of my books in my closet, then put them in storage. i asked my mom to send some to me and she looked at all the titles and asked me what was the deal. surprisingly, nobody flipped out & threw me out of the house. i didn't even get struck by lightning! :) you'll be fine. lady light your path. )O(

[schadenfreude]

Fear is a perfectly normal emotion. As a matter of fact .. it is an *essential* one. There are two parts of your brain (well .. there are many more but I'm only going to explain two atm heh) that are very important to your daily life. The Amygdala and your NeoCortex. Sometimes .. either in a spur of the moment something has happened situation or .. you can't understand what's going on in a slow moving moment (usually daily life struggles) .. your Amygdala is your best friend. (it can also become one's worst nightmare heh) .. Your Amygdala is your *thinks* shotgun response. If you're hiking or camping .. and all of a sudden something happens .. a noise from the side that you can't see .. or you walk upon a snake .. your NeoCortex is very slow in reaction time (NeoCortex is your 'thinking' part of the brain .. the .. a + b = c) so we've been blessed with the Amygdala. It reacts so quickly .. that your body will react physically and most definitely emotionally before you can really understand what is "going on" .. it is also the largest sponge of holding past experiences, reactions (emotionally and physically).

Some good questions to ask yourself .. I know you stated a few above .. but I'll just type some down here now that I've asked myself in the past when I've been doubtful or reluctant of change.

Am I scared of the actual change? Not knowing what's out there .. not knowing if I'll succeed .. unsure if I'll have what I need in life to survive .. unsure if I have the ability to find those things needed if they're not around.

Am I scared or fearful for what others may think of me? What if they frown upon my decisions? What if they don't approve? How will the treat me once I've taken the first step?

Try to think about what you're changing .. why you are making that change .. and if it is the best step .. the best path for you to walk. It's always nice to keep loved ones involved with those answers but (my personal opinion here) not to allow them to have enough influence to keep you from making your own decisions.

I fully believe that if any one person can think clearly through questions of that nature .. will always make the right decision. Even if .. in the end .. something happens .. or even "nothing" happens .. and it turns out to look life .. the 'wrong decision' .. ever step one takes on their path makes them who they are today .. and who they will become tomorrow.

That's what life is all about :)

Hope you make it through your change ok .. remember .. those that love you unconditionally .. < --- that's the important word in the sentence heh .. will always love you no matter what.

[Kalika]

Fear of rejection, fear of change... these are basic human emotions.

What matters is whether or not you are able to get past these emotions, to the true meaning behind your fear. And are you able to get past these feelings to make the decision that is right for you?

If you are questioning that this may just be a phase for you... try making a list of why you feel like exploring the pagan path. Is the primary reason to rebel, or to tick off your parents? If so, maybe you should reconsider.

If the primary reason is because you actually BELIEVE what you are reading, and discovering, then by all means go with it. It is a very unhappy person who supresses their true feelings and beliefs (I have been there!!!).

If this is what you truly believe, and the path that you seek for betterment of yourself, then it really does not matter what others think. As long as you are happy and well, your true friends will be happy for you. If they can't accept you for who and what you are... then maybe you should take a closer look at your friendship. Doesn't mean they can't be friends, just that they are more of the "fair-weather" variety.

Family is an entirely different matter unfortunately... and there are several threads here that discuss this matter. However, if this is something that you truly want to do, and truly believe in, you cannot allow them to stop you either.

"In order to get ahead, look like you are playing by their rules, while quietly playing by your own."

Hope this helps somewhat. :) I feel like I went off on a tangent.

Blessed Be.

[arleban]

I hope it's normal. If not, we can be weird together since I'm going through that now as well. Any change can cause fear or uneasiness and a major life change can be quite an ordeal. Remember, fear like this is usually of the unknown, so the best thing you can do is just do it if it is the right thing for you. It's better to be scared now and face your fear than to maintain the status quo and be unhappy with yourself. Take care! :)