Seance Gone Wrong.

[Quidam]

I am not sure how Wicca feels about seances because I'm a newbie and I have restricted access to good materials, being I'm still in the broomcloset and the Internet isn't always a reliable source.

I did a seance on Samhain, which sometimes I've heard is oppertune, sometimes I've heard is not good to do at all. I did one anyway with a few friends. A friend and I conducted it and we both have a pretty good grip on contacting the spirits and Gods respectfully, so we figured everything would be ok.

We decided which God or Goddess to contact and since I have a rather good bond with Hecate, Goddess of witchcraft, tombs and the underworld, that would be a good choice for contacting the dead. I summoned her and that all went well.

Then came to summoning the spirit. We all decided upon contacting a recently deceased classmate. Who had died in a car wreck less than a week before. Three of the five people there including myself and the other leader go to the same school.

He came quickly. He was shocked. It was like that feeling you get when you've just heard devastating news. It's like a cold shot in the chest that siezes your entire body and doesn't let go until some time later. He's not a ghost. He's in the plane of the dead. But he still can't believe that it happened. He was only 17 and feels like he was robbed of something. It's not fair.

After that, the other two asked how the car crash happened. I tried to explain and my friend co-leading, her voice got really low. "Just shut up about it, ok? I don't want to hear it!"

:hairraise The mood was a little weirder after that.

We sent him back with Hecate's blessings and closed the circle and everything, but something somewhere along the line must have gone wrong. Because now I feel very strongly connected to his emotions. Even though he's back in the spirit world and I'm here on the Plane of the Living, we're still sort of attatched and I can't help but think this is a bad thing :wtf:.

I was in the car when my mom drove by the place where he died yesterday. I zoned out and all I heard was "I don't want to be here, get me out, this is crazy, didn't you hear me I WANT OUT OF HERE NOW!" it was so sad to hear him. I wanted to break into hysterics right there.

Weird thing is I didn't even know him. I know the driver's mother really well though. I guess it kinda works out that he was close by. It just hurts to have his torment so close to me. He can't be at rest this way.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to seperate the two of us?

[Syntax Error]

He may have connected the two of you in order to give you information, or the other way around. Anyway...I'm not sure if this is the case so don't take my advice over others, however when I want to break a connection with someone, this is what I usually do: Imagine yourself and the other person, with threads connecting the two of you. Now imagine yourself with a sword, slashing at the threads.

You may have to do that for a while, depending on the strength of the connection.

[Mau]

IMHO..wrong person to contact. He was not given time to come to terms with his physical death, and now will not want to let go of the living..his association with our world. He had not been given the chance to learn, perceive, and settle his feelings with the event of his death. He is now very upset, confused, clingy, desperate, scared, and alone. I do not think just separating yourself from him/his emotions/energy is the right thing to do. You interrupted the natural course of events of his passing, and made things very hard for him, very scarey. You must now make atonement for that. It will require time, patience, energy, and compassion. You must calm his spirit and help him come to peace with this. Just trying to cut him off and unburden yourself is not fair to him. Try to communicate with him, explain that while his death may not have been fair..it is final. Help him come to grips with it, console him, perhaps call on his spirit guide to go to him and help him on his way. Let him know that he needs to let go of our world, and come into his own. While he may miss and be missed, this change is irreversible, yet not bad. He has simply gone from one form and place to another. You have to help him understand and move on, so that he will let you go.
Seances workvery well on SAmhain as the veil between worlds is at it's thinnest..optimal time to try and contact spirits. But my advice..next time aim for someone who has been in the Otherworld a good while..someone who surely knows they're dead and won't be thrown for such a loop.
Best of luck, and always remember to give the dead they're due..they deserve as much respect as the living. ;)

[Aidron]

For starters I would not have contacted him in the first place. The poor guy has been dead only a week and has not yet had time to adjust to the fact that he is dead. His spirit is chaotic and most likely in turmoil. You should have given him more time to adjust before doing this.

Second, as you are new like you said, I would have never conducted this to begin with. All sorts of catastrophes can happen if you are not careful, from not realizing what an unsafe candle holder you are using to messing with things you may not be prepared to handle emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc.

So, in the future, try to exercise a bit more wisdom to prevent these things from happening.

However, spirits rarely attach themselves to people they were not familiar with in life. It can be frightening for them as they, much like any stranger who is alive, do not trust you, and they prefer to be where they feel safe and comfortable, like us.

Try meditating on it. Go into as deep a meditative state you can and open your mind to this individual. Listen to all he has to say and try to keep assuring him that it is his time to move on and lingering about will only cause him more grief. Be very specific and keep it very brief. I'd hate for you to say the wrong thing to him and him hang about. It's not a witch thing, it's a simple diplomatic thing, so think before you speak.

Then, light a white candle if you prefer and/or say a prayer to divinity, asking that his spirit be guided to where it needs to be at this time.

[Quidam]

Thanks for all your advice.

I wasn't really thinking when I picked him. Someone threw out his name and I went with it because Hecate was getting kind of impatient.

Since the incident, I've been increasingly irritable and today, I even went so far as to throw several blows to people at school. It's still morning and I have far more frustrating classes to go. I normally would not lose my temper like this.

I'll try what you've said, friends, and hopefully he'll let go. I'll keep you posted!

[squieguy]

i really want to know how it feels to do a seanse with some friends, but i'm not that kind of person. i mean what did you think it was going to feel like? what is general did it feel like after you did it? what did you say to them? did you contact a distant relitive?

[♪Hazel♪]

Wow. Poor guy.

Yea... like Mau said... dont just cut yourself off from him completely. You were mature enough to do a seance (even though you're a newbie).. and you got some mature consequences, that you think now you wont be able to handle! You can't just run off like a little girl and leave him in his confusion. Can you imagine how you would feel in his place? Please... gather up the courage to be mature enough to deal with this the right way.
I know its going to be hard and you may feel differently over this time... It also might take a while before he calms down. But now you have the responsibility of helping him.

Say you were downtown somewhere and you walked by a little boy on the corner, who was lost. And he clung to your leg. Would you just shake him off and walk away? That would be incredibly cruel.
I know it seems alot more violent than that...but its the same situation. Like a horror movie come to life. Imagine...suddenly one day your entire world... your family, your friends, your hopes and dreams for the future were ALL taken away.

Even if he scares you.. you really have to realize the background of why he's doing what he's doing.
I hope you dont just leave him. x_X
Please keep us posted as to how this goes

Blessed Be
-Rina

[Quidam]

The situation was taken care of quickly. Within the week, I've just been distracted as of late and that kind of explains my AWOL situation over the past month....

Anyway, I sort of explained to Hazel via PM that I wasn't really posessed by him. He was hanging around me though, and I had to calm him down and send him back, with the help of a few friends.

Though my one friend was convinced I was posessed by a demon. Though I was acting strangely, I think my soul was just sick. Either way, the exorcism she did healed it. So I either had a very sick soul or I was posessed by the most melodramatic demon ever.

So there's the update. Everything's back to normal, except I'm a lot wiser and nothing like this will ever happen again. :hehehehe: QUIDAM HAS LEARNED HER LESSON! *nod*

[Zaide]

Combining Hecate with Samhain and summoning when your newer to your path was not a very wise thing to do. Granted we all make mistakes but here is my point.
Just because he is a spirit does not mean that Karma does not apply to him/you.
You should really consider what damage has been done.
You may have altered something that needed to be left alone like his life/death cycle.
I hope at least that you have learned a lesson from this. (and I don't mean that in a bad way).


Zaide