Mon Dieu!

[random]

Ah, I am most confused. I have lost most but not all of the completness of Wicca. My full study year is not up yet, but I am no longer understanding or I am understanding too much. This is much agony. Ugh!

[oskila]

take a break, meditate upon this, write down your thoughts really carefully and analyze them.

[random]

Yes, I plan on meditating on the matter.
But, this is what happened to my Christian beliefs.
I am not new to this feeling. But, I am agitated by it greatly.

[Mairwen]

Well, are you sure Wicca is where you're supposed to be? There's more to Paganism than just Wicca. Lots more.

[random]

Wicca can be broke down alot more too.

I did a little meditating during the sunset/down. I have concluded, that to my thinking ideas I had on beliefs that I'd known I wanted to believe in so much that I thought I did. And I don't. I wanted to believe, but I don't. I am lost and do not know what I believe, I just know that I do not believe. ugh, I cant explain anything!

[Mairwen]

Believe it or not, but you made sense to me. I think we all go through this at one time or another. ;)

[random]

:)
ah, but, I have gone through this before...

[Mairwen]

Well, I didn't mean it was a "one time deal" ~ going out of business: buy now! :p

[Mina]

This may sound strange, but just give it some time! It's like everything else in life. It'll eventually work out. My father and I don't get along, but after a bit of a tiff...sometimes days or even weeks after....we get over it. I know that sounds bad, but being able to look at things as hindsight sometimes gives you more insight into why you felt a certain way, even though sometimes you figure in the end that you were just being a spaz! Either way, if you feel the same way after a bit of a break, then I may question it, but if you find yourself reverting to your wiccan ways during the break, know then that it is a part of you! Hopefully a good part. Hope it all works out!

[random]

Thanks alot Mina, but this is after a month that i've felt this way. I missed the last Sabbath, and it didn't even phase me.

[Mina]

Wow!!! I'm so sorry! I guess the only thing I can say is, if you don't believe or care, then don't stress over it! That'll tell you one thing...it's like breaking up with someone and not having any feelings toward them afterward. Don't stay with them just because you think you should. Sometimes forcing yourself to stick with something just makes you resent it more, and that's probably the worst thing that can happen. Whatever you do, just try to be happy in the mean time. That's what it's all about in the end anyways! :) Wish you all the best!

[random]

thats okay. I still appreciate your help. :)
erm, I dislike being this way, that is why i'm stressing over it.

[Faery-Wings]

This is exactly what I was going through in the thread I had posted last week, "Why is Paganism so hard?" I understand totally what you feel, 100%. You said that you tried so hard to believe, wanted to believe certain things about Wicca. I am sorry if I am getting any of this wrong. But I was going through the same thing. I wanted so much to fit into Wicca, and while much of it fit, some of it didn't and it was enough to make me question myself. For a few weeks, I had this terrible feeling of internal stress and unease. At one point, I tried to convince myslef that I could just chop out what I didn't like of Wicca and keep what I did. It still was not right for me, and didn't feel right, down in my soul.

I tried to calm my heart, mind and soul and it was not easy. Yesterday, I was able to talk to WildChild (thanks again hon!!) and that solidified my thoughts and beliefs. I realized that Wicca is not right for me. I am going to move along a Pagan/Green Witchcraft Path and it is like a huge cloud has lifted. I am going to continue studying Wicca for its backgound too, however, as there are parts of it I do like and repsect. But no, I will not be Wiccan.

Sadly, I have no advice but to keep your mind and heart open to what is presented to you. You will find what it is you are looking for. keep on medititating and try to write what it is you believe. Talking about it to others really has helped me too. Good luck!!

Chris

[random]

yea. I'm going to try and discuss this with one of meh friends. If i get time. my schedule just got busy again. ...

[Semele]

Find your own path. Stop trying to fit into the preset molds of Wicca or Christianity or paganism in general. Just start very basic and explore what you know to be true. Start small and live only what you know. the first step is to Know....did ya get that subtle hint?!! It doesn't matter what anyone tells you....you have to know it yourself.

You can find a sense of peace with your spirituality when you stop trying to adopt one already set up. Not trying to sound harsh sweetie...just giving you the advice that finally worked for me. Ask yourself what you know to be true then write it down and go from there. I would say even stop observing sabbats until they really ring true for you. I guarantee the first time you celebrate a sabbat because you can't help but celebrate...it is a whole new experience. Just relax...it will find you.
Good Luck!!!
I will light you a candle!

[random]

heh, im sorry if I sounded like i was trying to "fit in" to something, but I don't do that. See, I found many already "set up" and from them pulled my own and i;ve lost it. totally lost why i was doing this, why I was learning anything and such.

[MistOfTheSea86]

Your whole life is one big road with many turns until you get back on track again. You will accept and reject many things in your life. It is up to you to find something that you will always except, it may be hard but no one ever said life was easy. You will find your path just keep searching.

[idusty88]

Sometimes a spiritual void is just a spiritual void, but sometimes it may stem from other parts of your life (that ole holistic approach thing). Maybe it's stress, diet or lack of sleep. Maybe you just got knocked for some emotional loop and everything may feel empty and pointless for a while.
When making your way on your spiritual path (or any other), it helps to remember that there is form and there is content. If recently you have only been taking in the form (rituals, rites, how-to, when..), lack of content will certainly leave you empty. What is content? Most of it is a constant and will apply no matter what the form of spiritual pursuit.
Content is knowledge of nature and the universe. this includes things like biology, cosmology, physics, psychology, history. It's not like you need to go get a college degree or something, just inform yourself, in steady doses, on how the world works. Reading, observing, even some selective TV watching (History channel, Travel channel, PBS) can fill the bill.

[Reeny]

I agree with all of you guys! Random, You don't have to be Wiccan to be pagan. Ten years ago I was studying wicca and just stopped just like you did. I realized it was not my path, but I still am pagan. Just chill for awhile and enjoy the trees , the birds, the stars and the moon. I found out that the wheel of the year and the sabbats are about the changing of the seasons all this helped brought me closer to nature and understanding myself as
a pagan. You will work it out.

Merry Meet