Adoption vs Single parenting

[Pesha]

As usual it was around 2 0r 3 am in the morning and I was awake again flipping channels. Came across an ad for adoption put out by the Mormon church. In it it exponded on the joys of giving up a child if you were un married and letting it be raised by a two parent home. I found this disturbing. What makes a child raised by a loving and stable single parent any less a person than one raised by a two parent home. By tow parent it meant a father and mother. The ad went on to exhort.....for lack of a better word.....all unwed pregnant girls to get in touch with the LDS Social Services and seek a better home for their babies.

I raised my kids as a single mum for 8 years after my divorce. Yes it was difficult at times, I had to work full time and be a mum. I did it with very little support. Sadly I did lose my daughter to drugs when she was 23, but for the most part, she had a warm and loving nature about her. I found out too late that she tirned to drugs due to having been molested by my exhusband her father during a visitation. Well the visitations of course had stopped by then, not getting child support and all. Bur she was a good kid. My son turned out to be a fine man, a good dad and husband. I did have my late husband involved during the 10 years we were married.

Enough about my situation. I just feel that some single mothers can do a better job than alot of two parent homes can. And what about a woman who wants a child , but does not necessarily want a husband. I in my humble opinion found the whole ad campagnine to be geared towards the Mormon attitude of only two parents and the mother an at home woman. There are circumstances when a single parent situation can be better, for the parent and the child and religious organisations need to just plain butt out. It is ok to offer services to the unwed mums, but not as in this particular instance make them feel less then a good person if they do not give up their child at birth. Ok nuff said.

BB
DS.

[Semele]

I agree with you for the most part. there are times when a two parent family can benefit a child more than a single parent home..for instance special needs children. Those situations can be so hard on just a single person that they are often too drained, physically and emotionally to provide all the extras that kids need..hugs and kisses and silly time. That is not to say that a single parent can't do it, just that it may be easier for two to balance the duties. But I agree it should never be assumed that two are better then one in general.

[veinglory]

A single, happy, caring parent is clearly better than an unhappy, angry, feuding couple.

Two parents are an audible ideal -- but keep in mind that childen cared for by a couple who are not their biological parents are statistially speaking at higher risk of neglect and abuse. I don't think any generic recommendation can be made.

[Rockprincess]

My mother raised myself and my 3 sisters on her own, and she did a fantastic job. Which isn't to say it wouldn't have been a MILLION times easier if she'd had a helpful, commited partmer!

2 parents are not necessary for a well-adjusted child, love is.

I don't take offence at the Mormons' ad though, because I know that's what they beleive. Each their own. I doubt many girls outside the LDS church would give their child up to the LDS, but as they have very good family values, it is a nice option to have available if one DID have to.

[WhiteDragon]

When I was preggers at the age of 19, adoption seemed in my mind the best course of action.
Well I found a great place and did all the paper work, picked parents and everything.
At about8 months, the parents were going to fly in from Delaware, and the week before they came in, I called and told the people that I was keeping her.....

The reason?

I was driving along one day, and this voice in my head, not my own voice, but (now that I think on it, it was a womans voice) someone else's.
It was telling me that my daughter was going to great things when she grew up, and with out me she would not. odd ehh?
And I knew it was goping to be a girl b/c I kept hainvg dreams about big gold coins lol. and I just knew anyway ...

so my take on it is, if you are desolet, have no home, no income, no way of taking care of the child then by all means, give them to someone who can..

[Ben Trismegistus]

Better to be raised by one parent than to be raised by a cult.

(oops, was that out loud?)

[Rockprincess]

Better to be raised by one parent than to be raised by a cult.

(oops, was that out loud?)
:lol:

Here in Southern Alberta, there is a HUGE mormon population. And while some parts of their religion are freakin' weird, for the most part, they produce happy, pleasant, productive citizens. I have many close Mormon friends, and I respect them and their religion (because they LIVE it, unlike so many people) more than most people I know. I would find their ways restrictive (and at least one of my friends has left the church because of their controlling ways), but I do respect it.

My sister seriously investigated the Mormon church (we were raised pagan, but she feels drawn to Christianity, so she's investigating the various branches to see if she would fit into any of them. So far, no go ;))

The polygamous break-away cults of Mormonism are pretty much restricted to Utah, as far as I know.

[Ben Trismegistus]

Oh I know. It was basically a joke. My sister lived in Salt Lake City for three years, and I was just weirded out by all those blond-haired, blue-eyed, happy people. It was like Children of the Corn.

[Rockprincess]

:lol:

I am currently reading a VERY WEIRD book by Win Blevins called Rock Child...there's a whole lot of weird information about the origins and founder of the Mormon church in it. I'm not sure I should recommend it to you actually - you might get even more weirded out :lol:

[Starry Di]

I was just weirded out by all those blond-haired, blue-eyed, happy people. It was like Children of the Corn.
I would be too!

[Semele]

The polygamous break-away cults of Mormonism are pretty much restricted to Utah, as far as I know.

Not really. In fact the opposite is pretty much true. There is a large polygamous community in Clorado city and another large one elsewhere, but I can't think of it right now. There are very few of these break away cults in Utah.

[Pesha]

Yes there is a large community of polygimists in Colorado City. Aslo in Farmington UT. And several other places in the state. They are illigal but the state looks the other way. There was one big case involving one man and his five wives and 31 plus children. The state made an example of him and snet him to prison for a long time. Living in Utah is a unique experience for a non mormon. But I and my family tend to ignor the culture and live our lives as we see fit and proper. My biggest gripe with them is their attitude that they have the only game in town and so the ad bothered me alot. Adoption is a viable option in a lot of cases, but not just becasue a father is wanted or necessary for the child to be brought up. A father in my opinion is gravey.

BB
DS.