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DragonLove
November 10th, 2003, 02:33 PM
A few weeks ago I posted regarding a friend and neighbor who was in my home and in a drunk raging anger towards her husband who was also here, she took it out on me. We have not spoken since but I am still trying to maintain a friendship with the husband (we have always been very close). I am finding this very draining to achieve this and am running low on energy.

I just cannot see how it is possible to maintain a relationship with this family (minus the violent wench lol). My daughter misses her friend (thier son) so much it makes me so sad.

I feel as though I need to cut them out of our lives in order to move on...it wont be easy...and I am very sad...

Rockprincess
November 10th, 2003, 02:43 PM
Much as you like the husband, I think it would be best to restrict your contact with the whole family :( Afterall, would you want your husband hanging around with someone you were fighting with? I think it will cause more problems and friction than it's worth. Maybe when they heal their problems you can welcome them back into your life. Until then...life is hard enough, without inviting crap in from others.


Bright blessings....

~*Ginger*~
November 10th, 2003, 02:46 PM
*hugs DragonLove*

DragonLove
November 10th, 2003, 03:03 PM
Much as you like the husband, I think it would be best to restrict your contact with the whole family :( Afterall, would you want your husband hanging around with someone you were fighting with? I think it will cause more problems and friction than it's worth. Maybe when they heal their problems you can welcome them back into your life. Until then...life is hard enough, without inviting crap in from others.


Bright blessings....

I understand what you are saying and it is hard on everyone. This particular couple dislike eachother so much I have lost alot of respect for them because they stay together a long time ago. It was difficult enough being friends with them knowing what I know but now its even more difficult now that my daughter cant even play with her friend if the woman is home.

To be honest, the woman doesnt honestly care if he has a friendship with me or anyone else for that matter...there is no love in that house (they dont sleep in the same bed and they havent had marital relations in almost 7 years!)

Rhaven
November 10th, 2003, 03:58 PM
May I ask a question? I don't want to attack you or anything like that, but do really want only "friendship" with this man?

If so - I think he has to decide for himself, if he should leave his wife or not - maybe they are staying together becauce of their child....

I don't know the situation and maybe you are right - they should split up... just a few thoughts of mine...

blessings

rhaven

Rockprincess
November 10th, 2003, 04:22 PM
I understand what you are saying and it is hard on everyone. This particular couple dislike eachother so much I have lost alot of respect for them because they stay together a long time ago. It was difficult enough being friends with them knowing what I know but now its even more difficult now that my daughter cant even play with her friend if the woman is home.

To be honest, the woman doesnt honestly care if he has a friendship with me or anyone else for that matter...there is no love in that house (they dont sleep in the same bed and they havent had marital relations in almost 7 years!)
Man, marriage is hard enough work, I can't imagine going through it all without the benefits! ;) :lol:

Well, it sounds to me like the whole situation is very unhealthy and you and yours are best far out of it! It is sad for your daughter - but you can explain to her that sometimes adults have troubles that have nothing to do with children, but affect them anyway, and that it's not fair, but that many things in life are unfair. Then tell her you love her and she's wonderful and remind her it's got nothig to do with her! She's a bright child, she'll understand.

DragonLove
November 10th, 2003, 05:22 PM
You are right..it is unhealthy and poisonous. Next stupid question..how does one "break-up" with a friend? I've never done it before.

Rockprincess
November 10th, 2003, 05:28 PM
Does it have to be an active thing? Can you not simply limit your contact with them? You don't have to be dishonest, just next time the husband wants to come over for tea or something, say "I'm sorry Joe, I don't think it's a good idea for our families to get together for a while."

Or, if that's too uncomfortable, make excuses. "No, sorry, we're busy right now...no, sorry, everybody over here is really tired, no sorry, we're trying to get some chores done" - eventually they'll get the point. And if they get rude and nasty about it...it won't matter, because they'll be griping to other people, not you. And do you really care what such disfunctional people say about you?

DragonLove
November 10th, 2003, 05:40 PM
Well..I wouldnt to want someone to make up excuses to me so I cant do that..I really want to be honest instead of drawing this out for possibly weeks pretending to be busy. I'm just not sure how to word what I want to say. You had a good idea before..I will simply state that I have no room in my life right now for unhealthy relationships and maybe one day we can continue a friendship.

Rockprincess
November 10th, 2003, 05:46 PM
That sounds like the best idea to me :) Strength and light to you as you attempt a difficult task!


Bright Blessings....