Feedback Please on Handfasting from Hell

[KyGreenWitch]

I attended a handfasting a couple weeks ago. The people were very nice and the drumming was excellent! The ceremony was great and the food afterward was good.

However, after most of the guests had gone, the remaining group of people proceeded to light up several joints and have a pot fest. This may be okay for some, but now me and my husband. We were taken aback. We knew the guys getting handfasted, and the other people were the coven they are a part of. We were not told that that is what they do when they get together or that that's what they planned on doing. My husband and I haven't done that stuff since our college days. And, if it hadn't been for the fact that the house was located in the backwoods of KY, we would have left immediately.

I don't know. I just didn't like it. Do most pagan groups do this? These people were talking about letting us know about the next gathering coming up, but if this is what I can expect from a "gathering", I don't want to have any part of it.

What are your thoughts on this?

BB -

[Fawn]

Like you there is time and place for everything and everything has its season. When I was 10 I played with dolls, before my sons and marriage I did smoke pot and party but I outgrew those things. (I'm 38 now soon be 39)
I would have been shocked.
No--my coven does NOT participate in any form of recreational drug use nor orgies. Thank Goddess or else I would find another coven to be a ssociated with.
Hopefully, this is just a one time deal and you won't have to encounter this again.
Maybe--we're getting more mature in our world views.;)

[Mairwen]

I can definitely say that my group DOES NOT do things like this, nor do we condone things like this. If anyone present even thinks of things like this, he's asked to leave ~ and Goddess forbid anyone shows up to my front door under the influence of anything. *grumble* I think those people where you were need to get a clue. It's been my experience that a LOT of Pagans here in Kentucky think that this is what Paganism is ~ it gives them the excuse they need in order to indulge in their bad habits. Not that I'm dissing drug and alcohol use; I'm not. However the coven/grove/circle/college/etc and so forth is NOT the place for such things. :mad: People!

[Laiste]

I agree with the statements made, but, to each his own. Now other people involved(or not) don't have to induldge but they should have at least been warned ahead of time that this kind of thing would be going on then they could make the choice of attending or not. Now don't get me the wrong way I'm just saying that a lot of people "party" like that, especially after a handfasting/wedding. It also was mentioned that most of the guests had gone home. I've been to many parties like this when it winds down people "relax a little".
Now on the other hand I don't feel that there is a place for this in a coven setting. If you feel that uncomfortable you should probably steer clear of these people.

Laiste

[KyGreenWitch]

I appreciate the feedback. I don't particularly look bad upon those people, it's just something my husband and I have outgrown, and had we known that's what was going to happen, we would have left with the other people. It was just such a surprise, and then we began to worry about random drug testing at both our employments. Not only are blood tests ususally given, but hair clippings. We've never had to undergo that actually, but it crossed our minds . . . "what if". Then we thought about our two kids and these types of people around them, and we just felt very uncomfortable and have decided to not be a part of this group outside of that event.

Blessings -

[Mairwen]

In drug testing, they're looking for major, major doses of stuff. They can tell if you've been in a smoke-filled room, if you're a casual smoker (or whatever), or if you're an addict.

[Kaylara]

Well, personally, I think that what they did was wrong. They should have told you ahead of time. I know that me and Traz would have felt just as uncomfortable.

As for doing drugs in circle/meeting/whatever, that's a BIG NO NO. The only time I would do it would be with someone who has been trained to interperet visions, and work with those states of mind. (ie. native american shamans) And then not unless I had been properly notified ahead of time.

Just my two scents... ;)

Kaylara

[Armitage]

Isn't that disrespectful to the whole spirit of the thing? Kind of like getting piss-ass drunk at a funeral?

[Xois]

hmmm...well, I'll say this...you were invited into the group. I think its unfortunate that this particular aspect didn't mesh with your ideas exactally, but you were the guest...you have to respect others expressions

I don't care for pot either...I perfere not to be around it...perhaps you could cherish the better moments and forget about that one...

Cheers
Xois

[Kaylara]

Originally posted by Armitage
Isn't that disrespectful to the whole spirit of the thing? Kind of like getting piss-ass drunk at a funeral?

No. Every culture in history has used some form of hallucinagen in their magick or religious rites. The point being what kind of ritual one would be doing, the supervision one had, and the experience one had to begin with. Think of the Native Americans who use Peyote, Pot, etc. The people who use Opium in their religious rites , Flying Ointment, etc. I am not saying that I am going to be screwed up in circle all of the time, I am saying that there is a time and reason for everything.

What happened to KyGreenWitch was not what I am talking about. It is disrespectful, and just plain rude to do something like that. On the other hand, there are times and reasons why someone might be on some form of drug or alcohol in ritual, but this must be agreed upon WAY in advance by everyone involved.

Kaylara

[Semele]

From personal experience pot can enhance a ritual. Of course this is something that is between the Gods and myself or whom ever is with me at the time. Mol and my brother and I have had very nice experiences in this area. Although I would not assume that everyone else likes it in a group setting. They probably should have announced the plans so that those not interested could leave.

But also I don't think there is much cause to be angry with them. They just didn't think out the plans very well. To each his own. The lack of judgement they showed regarding others personal views does not necessarily equal bad judgement regarding the use of pot in a ritual setting. If it works for them so be it. I don't personally view this as disrespectful and I know my spirits and guides don't either. Just my two cents worth!

[threenorns]

last i checked, marijuana was not classified as a hallucinogen, but as a sedative.

i don't agree with the recreational uses of pot, but i do use it in a medical capacity. i have a spastic back, so once or twice every year or so i have to "indulge" in order to get it to go away -- couple of puffs of pot smoke beats weeks of addicting painkillers such as morphine and demerol ANY day, in my books. my daughter has neurological problems that sometimes get complicated -- such as when her tourette's tics are so bad she can't even breathe -- and giving her a two or three cups of marijuana tea is far better than giving her three months of medication that have horrible side-effects before determining if they're having any effect.

know what one of the side effects of rispardal is?

UNCONTROLLABLE MUSCLE TWITCHES!!! what kind of sick mind thought this one up for ppl with tourette's!??

i don't agree with recreational use of pot, and i think they showed REALLY bad manners in not alerting you beforehand and providing an alternative for those who choose neither to partake nor associate.

[Myst]

Personally at this time in my life I've never felt the need to desire to smoke or snort anything. However almost all of my friends have indulged recreationally at least once in the past, and one uses it medicinally for her medical problems.

The thing here is it was in poor taste for them not to let people know beforehand - people I know who do drugs often ask everyone in the area beforehand if they have allergies or don't want to be around when drugs are taken. It's too bad some people can't be this respectful of others. I hope this doesn't happen to you again.