View Full Version : I no Longer Talk to her.

November 23rd, 2003, 06:14 AM
Brace yourselves because this is a long one! My sister and I were born sixteen eyars apart, she being the elder, and we ahve always been very different from one another but it nev er effected our relationship until I became older. At family get togethers she ignores me when I speak to her, she constantly bugs me, she basically treats me like a walking joke. So this is what I was holding in (which I regret doing now) during the years, and finally it reached a boiling point.

My sister was married to an alcoholic whom she said she loved and adored, she squealed the news of their marriage with joy to my parents who allowed the union even though he was a little "off." Years passed, 3 children were born, and she, like two of my 4 brothers, realized she was a lesbian. I accepted this as I wasn't that shocked and I have no problem with homosexuality as my family has many gay members, but the thing is that is ALL she talks about. If you meantion a new job, she'll tell you about a lesbian that works at the same place. If you buy a new sweater she'll comment on how a lesbian would never wear that sweater....constantly staing it makes my parents uncomfy, but they've adjusted.

So here is the boiling point now that you know the background information. My sister now has a girlfriend who si VERY domineering, and has major issues with anger. My sister sent my mom an email asking for a photo of me and her fom her wedding be removed from the mantleplace (it was a picture of me when I was small, and her, just us) she had forgotten my mom was out of town and couldn't recieve it so she got her girlfriend to send me a message on msn asking about it. In the e-mail I explained to her that the picture means a lot to my parents so it won't be easy for them to let it go, but they will probably understand...then her girlfriend goes crazy and dares to accuse my parents of FORCING her to marry! she wasn't there! she didn't see little miss happy bride! so I had to defend my parents, so I phoned my sister to speak directly with her about the issue.

To try and shorten this up a bit my sister basically wailed about how "nobody accepts her" which is a lie, and how "she was expected to marry" which was another lie. And then she says if the picture doesn't go she will enver visit my parents again...a bit irrational...I tried to be fair to all sides, but instead she decides to accuse me of not being fair to her? which was a joke, and her girlfriend was yelling in the background calling me names and swearing!.

So needless to say I told my sister she can apologize for allowing her girlfriend to insult her own sister, and her girlfriend to apologize for the irrational behaviour, and would forgive them their emotionally weak moment. Her reply was "what to I ahve to apologise for! you'll get an apology when hell freezes over!" well then I'll wait for hell to freeze over because I will NOT be walked over. To add insult to injury mom thinks I should jsut apologise like it's my fault and "let it all blow over" that is NOT a solution..."

November 23rd, 2003, 09:04 AM
I feel for you Muireannach.

As far as the picture, could it not be put in a special place, in thier bedroom?
I can understand her feelings of a mismarriage.
Putting it in her room where she can still enjoy it and help your sister not to feel uncomfortable about it being there.
It's not like she asked it to be burned...

Your sister may have alot to deal with, and even if she's kinda aggravated right now she does love you.
Being the Peacemaker is a good position. ;)


November 23rd, 2003, 04:03 PM
I recommended the picture be moved to their bedroom, and we did, but it still wasn't good enough for her. I'm bloody sick of the drama!

Bainidhe Dub
November 23rd, 2003, 08:41 PM
Personally, I don't see why your sister is throwing such a fit over one picture.. Why can't she look at it as simply a picture of you and her? Why choose to look at this one picture as a reminder of a marriage?

November 24th, 2003, 03:05 AM
Exactly! I told her that mom and dad see it as their 2 daughters, not as a connection to her past marriage! but she is insistant of burning the past isntead of accepting mistakes and moving on....it's great to get all this off my chest...thx guys