An undecided, spiritually lost soul

[Loki]

Here is the situation.

I have been doing some spiritual searching off and on for about a year now. In that time I have read a few books and attempted to look deep inside myself for what I might believe. I have come to no clear conclusions but have found a few minor answers, mainly from within. I have been looking for something for this past year, but I am not clear on what I am looking for. I feel a need to be connected, but to what I am not sure.
I have read somethings about Paganism and many of the aspects agree with me internally (I get that warm fuzzy feeling inside like all is right with the world). However when I think about actually trying a ritual or actually attempting one, its like I get all locked up, I feel like it's not in my heart to do this. A simple offering to the God and Goddess is empty of feeling. I then decide it is not right for me and attempt to move on and look elsewhere only to be drawn back to the Pagan side be hyped up again by what I have read and then I am dashed on the rocks of dispare once again.
Some days I feel I have made positive gains on the Pagan side and other days I feel I have gone the wrong way. This is an almost daily occurance.
I am tired of this teeter totter, roller coaster ride of emotions.

What I need to know or at least get an opion on is. . .

Am I on the right track?
Is this normal behavior for a spiritual journey?
or
Am I just kidding myself?
Is this a sign that I am not to follow the Pagan path?
Are there any other paths I might try which lie along the same lines?


I have never had any formal religious, training/teaching and am at a loss as to what I am doing.

I feel empty one moment and filled with joy at finally finding something to believe in the next. I could use some serious help and guidance.


Thankyou for your help

Loki

[Faolan]

there is no law, or order that says you have to preform a ritual ever in your life to be pagan, some covens do require it, but if you're a solitary practitioner, then you have no worries. My boyfriend's mom is the person who got me into wicca, and she doesn't do any elaborate rituals, in her mind she says a chant or a rhyme as she's doing her daily chores, and sometimes she writes stories in her spare time. By looking at her, you'd never know she was Wiccan. It sounds like Pagan is the right Path, but only you can decide that. Maybe you're just not ready for rituals and things, many people go through stages of different paths, and this could be what's happening to you. I'm not saying this is the for sure answer to your problem, but it's just a suggestion, try out something simple at first, and if it fits, continue in it, soon you will more then likely be growing into it, and you'll learn more and new things, and become more comfortable in it.

[reanna]

Welcome to Mystic Wicks. :):):):):):):)
Pleased to meet ya!!
Hang out here and read the various threads, you might find what you are looking for. I have to agree with the last post though, says it perfectly from my point too. :):):):)

[Socharis]

:D:D:D WELCOME :D:D:D

[Faery-Wings]

Welcome!!

Faolan had great advice and Reanna too. What I would suggest is before you keep reading, write up a belief statement of your own. Keep in mind that no one will see it but you. If you believe in somethings that might contradict at first, that is fine too. Just put what is in your heart onto paper. Sometimes, by forcing yourself to write things out, the loose ends become a bit clearer.

Faloan is right on about the rituals. I recently realized that I am not meant to be Wiccan, at least not at this point in my life. I am working hard at learning the ways of Green Witchcraft. That is a better fit for me. I didn't feel like the ceremonial aspect of Wiccan ritual was what I needed either. But I feel that I will have a strong Wiccan base of knowledge and philosophy however.

Keep reading and learning and go out into nature and see what the trees and wind tell you!

BB

Chris

[Loki]

Thanks for the warm welcome and thanks for all the positive advice. I feel better having some guidance and positive thoughts about what I am feeling.
Sometimes I think too much, which is probly my main problem.
I told myself when I started this whole journey that I would take my time and see what would come. I often forget that part and expect results right away.

A couple of weeks ago I had decided to devote one year and a day to the God and Goddess, basically learning and allowing them to guide me, help me feel out what is right. Then after that time I would see how I felt about things and go from there.

I will now take a deep breath and start again :)

Thanks again.

[Rick]

Howdy, Loki! (That's Okie-ese for "Hail & Welcome!")

Thanks for giving fire to men.

Pull up a cushy-comfy-couchy-thingie, feel free to partake of the lemonade, Mead (if you are of age), Spam, cookies, sardines, boiled eggs, & whatever else may pass by.

[DragonMystic]

i have the same problem, i feel that it all adds up to what i want to be happy and forfilling in my life, but when i try something it does not work out.

[Lavender]

Loki, think of it as nothing is wasted. Even though, the path isn't clear to you now, all that you're learning will be put to use. I also believe that no matter how set you may be on a certain path, sometimes, it will veer off in a tangent you'll never expect. We may travel together for a while but in the end, it's our own journey that we're on. I think you're doing the right thing. Don't despair.

[Loki]

I am attempting to take it all alittle at a time, with some impatients :)

I observe the cycles of the moon and the seasons. I try to see when things begin to change in the seasons, when do the leaves begin to change color to mark the coming of fall, or when certain flowers blossom, and I am keeping track of the Pagan holidays ( at least the common ones).
Maybe things like ritual don't work for me now, but I'm hoping, given time they will come to me.

I am trying to keep a positive attitude about it all but things are still bumpy for me. I try to tell myself it is the Lord and Ladies way of challenging me and keeping me on the right path.

[Mairwen]

Everytime I see the title of this thread, I hear the lines: I am but a lost and wandering soul from our Initiation Rite!

[Draedon]

All of your problems can be solved in three steps:

1. http://www.beliefnet.com/section/quiz/index.asp?sectionID=&surveyID=27

2. http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

3. http://www.beliefnet.com/features/quiz/index.html

These questionnaires ask the right questions, analyse your answers, and give you the answers you're looking for. This is where I send everyone who is just starting out.

It will help you work out your spiritual type and your religion.

After that, all you can do is read, and read, and read, until all the pieces start to fall into place.

Visit me at http://draedon.cc/tuition if you get really stuck.

[mol]

Originally posted by Mairwen
Everytime I see the title of this thread, I hear the lines: I am but a lost and wandering soul from our Initiation Rite!

And nothing wrong with being a wandering soul as long as you know what you are trying to find.

[mol]

Originally posted by Draedon
All of your problems can be solved in three steps:

1. http://www.beliefnet.com/section/quiz/index.asp?sectionID=&surveyID=27

2. http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

3. http://www.beliefnet.com/features/quiz/index.html

These questionnaires ask the right questions, analyse your answers, and give you the answers you're looking for. This is where I send everyone who is just starting out.

It will help you work out your spiritual type and your religion.

You are possibly one of the first people I have met who takes those things seriously. There is NO way to measure a persons spirituality through a questionairre. In fact, I find it insulting if it is not meant as a joke.

[Mairwen]

Originally posted by mol
And nothing wrong with being a wandering soul as long as you know what you are trying to find.

I second that motion! :D

[Mairwen]

Originally posted by mol
You are possibly one of the first people I have met who takes those things seriously. There is NO way to measure a persons spirituality through a questionairre. In fact, I find it insulting if it is not meant as a joke.

FWIW, IMHO, I don't think ther IS a way, nor should their be, to measure a person's spiritualilty. ;)

[Loki]

Sorry but I don't put much faith in those survey's. They can be bias in so many ways.
They remind me of those magazine surveys that nobody takes seriously.

[Loki]

I couldn't be any more lost :)

I read a quote somewhere by a man who lived in the woods, or some place, he was being interviewed and when he was asked if he ever got lost he said, No I never have been lost, but there have been a few weeks were I wasn't sure where I was.

It went something like that. I will have to try and find it again. :)

[Mairwen]

Run in circles scream and shout ~ hey I do that! It works beautifully! :D

(heh ~ also scares the cat, but who's keeping score?! :rolleyes: )

[Lavender]

LOL! Mairwen, I would have love to see you do that! Heh!

(I feel sorry for your cat.)

[Draedon]

Originally posted by mol


You are possibly one of the first people I have met who takes those things seriously. There is NO way to measure a persons spirituality through a questionairre. In fact, I find it insulting if it is not meant as a joke.

Are you talking about the particular surveys I mentioned, or surveys in general?

As to these particular surveys: They're not absolute, and I didn't mean to imply that they were. They should be taken lightly, but they are a great starting point. If you haven't tried these particular questionnaires, then you should try them, and then post back what you think of them. Like I said, I think that they require plenty of personal interpretation, but at least they give you some ideas to work with.

[Draedon]

Originally posted by Loki
Sorry but I don't put much faith in those survey's. They can be bias in so many ways.
They remind me of those magazine surveys that nobody takes seriously.


Are you talking about the particular surveys I mentioned, or surveys in general?

As to these particular surveys: They're not absolute, and I didn't mean to imply that they were. They should be taken lightly, but they are a great starting point. If you haven't tried these particular questionnaires, then you should try them, and then post back what you think of them. Like I said, I think that they require plenty of personal interpretation, but at least they give you some ideas to work with.

[Merrie]

Hugs and Sympathies, Loki. :)
It's hard and confusing and basically sucks,I know, believe me. Nothing to be sure of, no solid ground to stand on. But it does get better. Just don't give up, and don't be too dissapointed when things don't seem right. Keep seeking, there's something out there that will work for you. Keep an open mind, The path you're looking at may not be right for you, and the most unexpected one could be just right. You never know.

[mol]

Originally posted by Draedon


Are you talking about the particular surveys I mentioned, or surveys in general?

As to these particular surveys: They're not absolute, and I didn't mean to imply that they were. They should be taken lightly, but they are a great starting point. If you haven't tried these particular questionnaires, then you should try them, and then post back what you think of them. Like I said, I think that they require plenty of personal interpretation, but at least they give you some ideas to work with.

That one and surveys in general (when it involves spirituality, which is so personal) always strike me as a joke. I just dont want people to get the wrong idea about those type of surveys.Some might be led to take the results to heart.

[Lavender]

Originally posted by Draedon


Are you talking about the particular surveys I mentioned, or surveys in general?

As to these particular surveys: They're not absolute, and I didn't mean to imply that they were. They should be taken lightly, but they are a great starting point. If you haven't tried these particular questionnaires, then you should try them, and then post back what you think of them. Like I said, I think that they require plenty of personal interpretation, but at least they give you some ideas to work with.

8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O

Belief-O-Matic told me I'm a Christian Scientist! :eek: 8O 8O 8O 8O

*love that name! Belief-O-Matic!*

[Loki]

I took the survey and it said I was a spiritual dabbler.
I show interest but don't take it seriously.

What I found wrong with the survey was, there were some questions I couldn't answer or didn't have an answer that best fit mine.
I also find these interesting in the way I can do the same test over and over and never end up with the same rating.

I guess I am just an inconsistent person. :)

[Lavender]

Loki, that was exactly what I thought of the surveys too. You only have a choice of a), b), c) or d). Well real people can't always be pigeon-holed into set catagories like that.

As to doing rituals & such, not everyone does circles & rituals. You don't have to do everything just because others are doing it. If you're not comfortable making offerings, don't do it, at least not yet. Maybe you need to work on connecting with your deities. Try sitting under a tree one day & enjoy that feeling.

You're not inconsistent, as Blue would say..."you're a seeker".