Danustouch
July 6th, 2001, 02:15 PM
I have been doing battle with my soul...dealing with some guilt...I believe that something I've done in the past, may be preventing me from Conceiving a child.
A few years ago...I got pregnant. I was working Sixty hours a week at the time, to support my boyfriend at the time, and I. I did not know I was pregnant, until I was two and a half months along. I had been smoking, and drinking, had had x-rays, and been on prescription drugs for an illness. So..thought the baby would be born deformed, or something. I have not been able to speak of this to anyone for a long time. I started getting really sick, I couldn't even keep down water..without vomiting. Got dehydrated, and was having cramps (like premenstrual). I went to the doctor, and found out I was pregnant. She advised me to have an abortion, because I was probably going to miscarry, anyway. If not, I would have had to be bedridden for the rest of the pregnancy. So..I went ahead and had an abortion.
I have wanted a child, since i was 12 years old. I love children, and believe it to be the most sacred responsibility anyone can have, to be a mother. Now, I am 25. It has been four years since my abortion. Now, I am in a healthy relationship. My fiance and I are planning a wedding, and we both want a child DESPERATELY. He supports me, completely. I am a housewife. However, We are having trouble conceiving. I know that I am physically fertile. But..we are not sure if he is potent. I sometimes think, that I am being punished for having that abortion. When I had it, I was sooo sure that I was doing the right thing. But..did I?
This is what I have been wrestling with for so long. It breaks my heart to think that I will never have a child. Please, say a prayer, or light a candle for my fiance and I. I simply do not know what to do. If any of you have any advice, or uplifting stories...please email me at Faerymoon1@drakmail.net However, I do not need any pro-life emails and rantings. Trust me, this is something which weighs heavily enough upon my conscience.
A few years ago...I got pregnant. I was working Sixty hours a week at the time, to support my boyfriend at the time, and I. I did not know I was pregnant, until I was two and a half months along. I had been smoking, and drinking, had had x-rays, and been on prescription drugs for an illness. So..thought the baby would be born deformed, or something. I have not been able to speak of this to anyone for a long time. I started getting really sick, I couldn't even keep down water..without vomiting. Got dehydrated, and was having cramps (like premenstrual). I went to the doctor, and found out I was pregnant. She advised me to have an abortion, because I was probably going to miscarry, anyway. If not, I would have had to be bedridden for the rest of the pregnancy. So..I went ahead and had an abortion.
I have wanted a child, since i was 12 years old. I love children, and believe it to be the most sacred responsibility anyone can have, to be a mother. Now, I am 25. It has been four years since my abortion. Now, I am in a healthy relationship. My fiance and I are planning a wedding, and we both want a child DESPERATELY. He supports me, completely. I am a housewife. However, We are having trouble conceiving. I know that I am physically fertile. But..we are not sure if he is potent. I sometimes think, that I am being punished for having that abortion. When I had it, I was sooo sure that I was doing the right thing. But..did I?
This is what I have been wrestling with for so long. It breaks my heart to think that I will never have a child. Please, say a prayer, or light a candle for my fiance and I. I simply do not know what to do. If any of you have any advice, or uplifting stories...please email me at Faerymoon1@drakmail.net However, I do not need any pro-life emails and rantings. Trust me, this is something which weighs heavily enough upon my conscience.