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myystical
July 11th, 2001, 03:12 PM
Hello everyone... This is the first time I have actually spoken up on this site and I have been here a few months. I like reading the threads and I will admit I do tend to lurk as that is all I have time to do lately. I moved in with my boyfriend and his six year old daughter a couple months ago and that in itself is taking some adjusting.


But I need some advice and I figured I might be able to get it here... or at least some interesting input. My boyfriend is not the father of the child I carry and I am 33 weeks along. The father of my child is a close friend we just forgot to watch what we were doing one night while celebrating the holidays. I met my boyfriend about 5 months ago and I am in love with him and he loves me. He has alot of baggage left over from his ex when it comes to trusting people.


But this is what I need advice on... I am still really good friends with the guy who fathered the child and with his wife... both of them are ok with the pregnancy even though he was married at the time. The hard part is that my boyfriend doesn't want me to have anything to do with them at all. They are the only friends I have made since I moved up here to Washington from California and I have known them for almost 3 years I don't want to lose their friendship and I don't want to lose my boyfriend either but I am not sure how to convince my boyfriend that he can trust me around them as he has said in the past if I did it once I might do it again.


I have tried to convince him that it was a one time thing and it was before we met and fell in love but he is still having a hard time dealing with it the closer it gets to the time the baby is born. Do you have any ideas or suggestions on what i could do to help aleviate how he feels? The tension is driving me nuts.


I know this probably isn't the right spot to put this thread but I couldn't figure out a better place for it and I need advice... thanks for listening to me though and if you have any advice I would love to hear it.:sunny:

EasternPriest
July 11th, 2001, 03:16 PM
I can understand where you both have some stuff to go through. If you can find a couples group, then it may be helpful to go to the group for awhile, or an indivual couples counselor, so you can each hear what the others concerns are.

Myst
July 11th, 2001, 03:30 PM
Yeah you might considering joining a group or seeing a counsellor. If he's uncomfortable with you staying friends with the guy then let him be around everytime you're visiting the friend just to give him peace of mind. Hope your pregnancy is going well