Danustouch
July 12th, 2001, 12:30 PM
Ok...now...i certainly do not want to start another argument. So...let me just say this.
First of all...it seems to me, that there is a great deal of misunderstandings surrounding some of the letters posted in the fertility drugs thread.
I would like to apologize, first and foremost, to Mairwen and Yvonne. It seems that they misunderstood some of the things that I was saying, and that I misunderstood a great deal of what they were saying.
This is a very volatile subject...because it is such an emotional one, for so many people. It is not surprising then, when sometimes, our issues with people in the past, come to haunt us again, in the words of another, who may not have meant them in the same way (if that makes sense). In other words. Some of the ideas I expressed, probably struck a very painful chord in some people, because of past experiences they may have had. Likewise, some of their comments offended me, because of past experiences I had. But..none of us, I believe, intended to offend. There was no malice, or directed anger behind our comments to eachother. They were responses to a very sensitive issue, to which people have very sensitive opinions. They were not meant to personally hurt anyones feelings.
Now..for me to clarify a few things. I DO understand some of what Mairwen was saying. IMO..a woman has ultimate control over EVERYTHING that effects her reproductive rights. It is HER decision, whether or not to have a baby. Drs, parents, society at large should butt out of that. It's not THEIR choice.
But..there are still some of us who genuinely do want a child, for the right reasons, and have analyzed our desire to have a child, repeatedly..and come to the same conclusion. We are meant to be mommies.
There are many mothers, however, who ARENT meant to be mommies. Some because they do not CHOOSE to be, or some because they simply cannot be, for many reasons.
My opinion therefore, is this. If you do not want children, try to practice safe sex. If that is not an option, due to medical reasons, or what have you..at least clearly consider your options, before simply deciding to keep the child. The stress of childrearing can be great. And some people are not equipped to deal with it. I , for one, would rather see a child put up for adoption, then to see it being neglected or abused at home. Now..one more clarification. I was not directing this to ANYONE in this room, but someone, I think, misunderstood my point on adoption. I think adoption is a WONDERFUL solution, to someone becoming pregnant when they are yet ready for the responsibility, or it just isn't what they want. Believe it or not, there is a shortage on babies up for adoption here in the state. Mostly, older children are put up for adoption here. And there are many parents, that despite their best efforts, have not been able to have a child, and would love to raise that little one in all the love they could give.
There are people, who get pregnant quite unexpectedly, and perhaps..quite undesireably. Perhaps they have a carreer that they do NOT want to sacrifice to having a child, or whatever their reasoning is. To those people who go through the process of giving birth to the child, and accept their responsibility toward the child, and try to be the best parent they can be to the child, in SPITE of the fact that they didn't really desire a child...Kudos.
If you are able to do the job...and love that child...my congratulations to you!
Now..I am sorry about anything I wrote in my last post that may have offended. I hope that we can continue to serve the purpose this room was created for, which is discussing all matters pertaining to fetility. But I hope that whatever one of us states, before responding to it with a bunch of hurt and damaged emotions fueling the fire, we will all learn to slow down, and ask eachother for a clearer description of what we meant. Ok?
Now can we please move on???
First of all...it seems to me, that there is a great deal of misunderstandings surrounding some of the letters posted in the fertility drugs thread.
I would like to apologize, first and foremost, to Mairwen and Yvonne. It seems that they misunderstood some of the things that I was saying, and that I misunderstood a great deal of what they were saying.
This is a very volatile subject...because it is such an emotional one, for so many people. It is not surprising then, when sometimes, our issues with people in the past, come to haunt us again, in the words of another, who may not have meant them in the same way (if that makes sense). In other words. Some of the ideas I expressed, probably struck a very painful chord in some people, because of past experiences they may have had. Likewise, some of their comments offended me, because of past experiences I had. But..none of us, I believe, intended to offend. There was no malice, or directed anger behind our comments to eachother. They were responses to a very sensitive issue, to which people have very sensitive opinions. They were not meant to personally hurt anyones feelings.
Now..for me to clarify a few things. I DO understand some of what Mairwen was saying. IMO..a woman has ultimate control over EVERYTHING that effects her reproductive rights. It is HER decision, whether or not to have a baby. Drs, parents, society at large should butt out of that. It's not THEIR choice.
But..there are still some of us who genuinely do want a child, for the right reasons, and have analyzed our desire to have a child, repeatedly..and come to the same conclusion. We are meant to be mommies.
There are many mothers, however, who ARENT meant to be mommies. Some because they do not CHOOSE to be, or some because they simply cannot be, for many reasons.
My opinion therefore, is this. If you do not want children, try to practice safe sex. If that is not an option, due to medical reasons, or what have you..at least clearly consider your options, before simply deciding to keep the child. The stress of childrearing can be great. And some people are not equipped to deal with it. I , for one, would rather see a child put up for adoption, then to see it being neglected or abused at home. Now..one more clarification. I was not directing this to ANYONE in this room, but someone, I think, misunderstood my point on adoption. I think adoption is a WONDERFUL solution, to someone becoming pregnant when they are yet ready for the responsibility, or it just isn't what they want. Believe it or not, there is a shortage on babies up for adoption here in the state. Mostly, older children are put up for adoption here. And there are many parents, that despite their best efforts, have not been able to have a child, and would love to raise that little one in all the love they could give.
There are people, who get pregnant quite unexpectedly, and perhaps..quite undesireably. Perhaps they have a carreer that they do NOT want to sacrifice to having a child, or whatever their reasoning is. To those people who go through the process of giving birth to the child, and accept their responsibility toward the child, and try to be the best parent they can be to the child, in SPITE of the fact that they didn't really desire a child...Kudos.
If you are able to do the job...and love that child...my congratulations to you!
Now..I am sorry about anything I wrote in my last post that may have offended. I hope that we can continue to serve the purpose this room was created for, which is discussing all matters pertaining to fetility. But I hope that whatever one of us states, before responding to it with a bunch of hurt and damaged emotions fueling the fire, we will all learn to slow down, and ask eachother for a clearer description of what we meant. Ok?
Now can we please move on???