JWill0ws
January 22nd, 2004, 06:09 PM
Ok.... preamble:
Many of you know that I come from a pretty strict Jewish upbringing. In addition, my family is stubborn and can be, well....quite judgmental and, to be honest, prejudice. They have disowned several cousins for dating out of the faith and out of the race. (For some that don't know, when a Jew is disowned, a big thing is done where the clothing around your heart is torn to represent a death of a relative.) I could have sworn, up to this point, that I was either the milkman's kid OR put on this earth to try to club some reason into their skulls.
About a year ago, one of the matriarchs of my family - "G", passed on. As a result of this, an APB (private investigators hired and all) was sent to attempt contact with her son "M", my cousin (my parent’s age). The whole family had disowned "M" 35 years ago for marrying a black woman. He was dead to them. "M" was found, and his brother "D" and father "J" approached him to try to reconcile. UP UNTIL THIS PAST WEEK, this all happened unbeknownst to me. UP UNTIL THIS PAST WEEK, all I knew of my family's prejudice was the disowning of my first cousin "S" for dating a black woman and the almost disowning of his sister "R" for marrying a Catholic (both with whom my sister and I have disobeyed the family and kept in contact). So needless to say, when I became aware of this, I was not surprised.
Now for the current....
Mom and Dad invite me over for a "family" dinner. I go over for free food...since my fridge is bare and I still have the cold and have not felt like shopping.
I walk in, and who do I see in MY parent’s home, but my two beautiful black cousins - the daughter of "M" and her husband (Trinidad born). All was explained to me, and I couldn't even mouth what I was feeling. I sat and watched my parents treat our cousins - "S" and her hubby - with compassion, joy, and over all a true sense of welcoming. Not one comment came out of my parent's mouths during and even after "S" and her hubby retired!!! They have been officially invited to family events and religious get togethers.
I would have never thought, after years of arguing and getting frustrated beyond belief with my family that this would ever happen. I know that it will take time for 35 years of old wounds to heal, BUT WHAT A STEP!!
I guess there is still hope....Jewish leopards can change their spots!!!
P.S. - I know this is about a touchy, racial subject. So, if I offend anyone, I apologize. It was only meant to show my excitement over what has transpired and my amazement that my family has begun to see the light!!!
Many of you know that I come from a pretty strict Jewish upbringing. In addition, my family is stubborn and can be, well....quite judgmental and, to be honest, prejudice. They have disowned several cousins for dating out of the faith and out of the race. (For some that don't know, when a Jew is disowned, a big thing is done where the clothing around your heart is torn to represent a death of a relative.) I could have sworn, up to this point, that I was either the milkman's kid OR put on this earth to try to club some reason into their skulls.
About a year ago, one of the matriarchs of my family - "G", passed on. As a result of this, an APB (private investigators hired and all) was sent to attempt contact with her son "M", my cousin (my parent’s age). The whole family had disowned "M" 35 years ago for marrying a black woman. He was dead to them. "M" was found, and his brother "D" and father "J" approached him to try to reconcile. UP UNTIL THIS PAST WEEK, this all happened unbeknownst to me. UP UNTIL THIS PAST WEEK, all I knew of my family's prejudice was the disowning of my first cousin "S" for dating a black woman and the almost disowning of his sister "R" for marrying a Catholic (both with whom my sister and I have disobeyed the family and kept in contact). So needless to say, when I became aware of this, I was not surprised.
Now for the current....
Mom and Dad invite me over for a "family" dinner. I go over for free food...since my fridge is bare and I still have the cold and have not felt like shopping.
I walk in, and who do I see in MY parent’s home, but my two beautiful black cousins - the daughter of "M" and her husband (Trinidad born). All was explained to me, and I couldn't even mouth what I was feeling. I sat and watched my parents treat our cousins - "S" and her hubby - with compassion, joy, and over all a true sense of welcoming. Not one comment came out of my parent's mouths during and even after "S" and her hubby retired!!! They have been officially invited to family events and religious get togethers.
I would have never thought, after years of arguing and getting frustrated beyond belief with my family that this would ever happen. I know that it will take time for 35 years of old wounds to heal, BUT WHAT A STEP!!
I guess there is still hope....Jewish leopards can change their spots!!!
P.S. - I know this is about a touchy, racial subject. So, if I offend anyone, I apologize. It was only meant to show my excitement over what has transpired and my amazement that my family has begun to see the light!!!