Negative People

[ladyrowan]

Originally posted by sherry
I am solitary after all these years! I have always had a fear of joining a coven until I know all members in the group and have a trust for each of them !! It only takes one negative person in the group to pull down the goals you set.


(Sherry - took this quote from another thread, hope you don't mind)

That is so true!
I joined a meditation group, all friends of mine, and was doing so well, really finding some answers.
Then another couple that had always made me feel uncomfortable joined.
From that day I closed down completely while with the group and, as the new couple seemed oblivious to the unrest they were causing to several of us and had no intention of leaving, I left instead.
Since then other doors have opened up for me.
Some of my friends think that negative people are sent to us for a reason, that we have issues that can be helped by contact with them.
But several months on, I can't think of any issues that these two people can help me with, or maybe they were just sent to the group because it was time for me to leave?
Any opinions please?

BB

[Myst]

I think it could've just been time for you to spread out on your own.

A few months ago an individual became a part of my group of friends that I didn't like. She gossiped meanly about her other friends in front of us, always complained about her life, and just generally never had anything nice to say. She also just had to be included in every outing the girls in our group had and be a part of every inside joke.

Well at any rate, I decided to leave the group for a few weeks. But I missed them and went back after those few weeks. Now her attitude has changed (she's gotten a boyfriend which is part of the reason why) and I learned to ignore her if she annoyed me. I think leaving for awhile definitely was needed so I could grow to cope with people I don't like. Part of the reason I didn't like her was often her whining seemed trivial to me - ie. she'd complain about her health problems and make ones up to get attention. I finally decided that's just the way she was and how she coped and I would just have to deal with it if I wanted to see my friends again. She wasn't going to leave the group!

Sometimes that's just the way it needs to be. Maybe someday you will feel comfortable enough to reach back to these friends again.

[ladyrowan]

Thanks for that Willow, although I am still in regular contact with the rest of the group - I just don't go to the meditation evenings any more.
I do feel quite sorry for the couple because everyone thinks they are so irritating, but not sorry enough to be friends with them!
Maybe there is a lesson there for me after all! haha

[Myst]

My friends were the same way. All they did was complain about the girl when she wasn't around etc. yet no one ever suggested to her to smarten up. People consider me strange or coldhearted sometimes because I just refuse to play that game. I just don't see the point of allowing yourself to be that negative instead of doing something about it.