How Often Do you Put Yourself First?

[Calyx]

I was reading Chryssi1's thread about her perceived weakness as a witch, and it got me to thinking....
How often do you put yourself first? By that I mean, how often do you do what YOU want to do instead of friends, family, SO's, etc. Like go shopping, read a book, see a movie, go to a museum, stay in bed all day...WHATEVER it is you like to do. Something that is solely for your pleasure and enjoyment....

If you rarely put yourself first, why?

For me, it's simple...I work alot and I drive an hour each way to work. I get up at 4:45 am and go to bed around 10 pm. I have two little girls under 6 and weekends are frequently taken up with bday parties and neighborhood kids. Hubby is currently working turnarounds and right now isn't even home. So I just don't have enough time in the day....

Last question, do you have any suggestions for those of us who need more time to ourselves? :)

Thanks for your thoughts....

[Sylvan]

I am trying to learn to put myself first. It's tough- I have felt all my life that I wasn't important compared to other people, that their happiness was imperative. Half the time I don't even know what I want or what I feel, I've spent so long focusing on other people.

I try to make sure to actually see if I have an opinion on where we eat, if we're going to eat out, for example. Sometimes I truly don't care where we eat, sometimes I've been jonesing for Taco Bell for a week, sometimes I'm just hungry and anyplace will do.

I wind up with plenty of "me-time", but don't really spend it on myself, if YKWIM. Hubby goes to work at 5pm, and from then until 11 I'm either napping, watching tv, or on the computer. Not good.

Back when X-Men2 was still in theaters, I really *really* liked it and snuck out of the house like 3 times to see it by myself after hubby had left for work. I felt guilty though. For no apparent reason.

I know that this is everything to do with my upbringing. Make others happy, leave myself to the last. I'm trying to turn that around, but it's not easy after 27 years of going in one direction, to suddenly change direction midstream and fight the current...

As for you, could you get a babysitter? Or maybe get together with another mommy or two and each have a day where you watch the other's kids so they can have a break..

[Bainidhe Dub]

I do stuff for me..... like shopping online, going out to movies... but I always feel extremely guilty for doing it. I don't know... sometimes I think I'm nuts... But I'm always buying stuff for my parents and brother... Mostly, I believe this is because I feel like I'm a burden to them.

[Moon Daughter]

well, i live on my own, i am single and do not have any children. so, i am pretty much free to make my own choices in what i want to do and when i want to do it.
on the other hand,i am in university, plus i take classes in the Toronto School of Dance, and i work nearly full time. and that does not leave me much time or energy to make space and time to enjoy myself.
so, i am learning to fully enjoy myself when i'm at school and at work.
it helps :)

[Goddess Rhiannon]

Not enough

[Lady Jade]

I used to deprive myself of time for me, but lately have just been taking it. Hubby, children, work, computer..doesn't leave much time in there. I have been feeling guilty about taking time for me, but continue to force myself to indulge. Everbody wants a piece of my time

As for suggestions, meditate in the shower and in the car.

Good Luck

[IvyCeltress]

I put this on Chrissy1's thread but perhaps it would be more appropriate here:

I've bit of wisdom I've been developing:

Before agribusiness, and such, farmers know that that they would have to set aside a certain amount of their crop after harvest so that they use that to plant crops for the next year.

Think about doing stuff for yourself as saving your seed crop so you will have something to plant later on.

I hope this helps.

[Tzhebee]

I have 4 kids: 2 7year old girls, 1 6 year old boy and 1 7mo old boy. Since my body requires sleep, that doesn't leave much time :rolleyes:

Seriously, the last time I actually got out of the house without any of the kids was....who knows? I've always got at least one of them with me. I also work full time M-F 8-5. My "comute" between home, daycare and work takes an hour. Since my SO has to be to work by 5 am (and we only have one car) my day starts at 4:45am and doesn't end until the baby decides to go to sleep. They do sleep, right?

And every time I buy something for myself, I feel so guilty, thinking "I could have gotten the kids a new pair of shoes" or "I should have put that $10 in their college fund"

But to answer your last question, about having time to ourselves. I try and take at least one hour every night before I go to sleep for myself. Sometimes I'm just too tired, but usually I can read a few pages or meditate for a while.

[Felidae]

Well, barring the two small girls (I have 1, age 17) my day is much like Calyx's... Weirdly enough, the times she stated for rising each morning and falling into bed each weeknight mirror mine to the second.

I don't have as long a commute, and The Kid is less demanding of my time due to her age, but I do work a half-day on Saturdays, and I spend Sunday morning and afternoon cleaning house and doing the laundry. And I reward myself on Sunday night with a couple of beers and an episode of Charmed.

I guess I would like a little more time to do the various things I enjoy, but I'm pretty good at squirrelling a couple of hours a day for a TV show or reading before bed. As spring approaches I'll want more of my Saturday back but as I don't think they're going to hire anyone else in Bookkeeping any time soon I'll just have to see how that goes. :lol:

I have noticed that when I buy something completely for myself, like plants or incense or what have you, I overspend a little on The Kid. It just seems more fair that way.

[Jenne]

I've been taking more time to myself lately. I think women in general have a hard time with this--whether it's a subcultural thing or a personal thing. We are so busy holding together everything in our lives, that we have a hard time making our own wants and needs a priority.

*I actually wrote an article on this very subject for Freyja's Cafe Press newsletter*

I noticed this paucity of time to self a while back--when I had my 2d son, actually. When my husband felt it necessary to go off at a moment's notice and do whatever, whereas I had to make sure I had someone to leave the kids with in order to just take a shower! Why was that? Why did I hem myself in like that? Somehow, I'd made a choice to let him have all the freedom in the relationship and give myself the short shrift.

Now, if I need to get away, if I have to go to the doctor, if I need a friggin' HAIRCUT (something I indulge in MAYbe 3 times a year, lol), I arrange it and I go. I don't sit at home, pining for freer times. I can make the choice to find a way to free myself, and often, I do. Because I am someone who needs her "me" time--not much, but enough to get through each day without doing myself or someone else some harm.

It really is important to recharge. I want to ask WHEN it became a luxury to rejuvenate your soul. Used to be that the Anglo cultures did this at each other's houses at visits or at church. Now the secular Anglo culture (to which *I* personally belong) has no outlet unless you manufacture it, and then it's not a "part of life," but rather time "stolen" and a luxury indulged in.

Achieving peace in your life, no matter which task takes you there, should be a REQUIREment for today's living. No matter how poor you are, busy you are, and stymied for ideas, we should be able to find that special time to ourselves to relax and come back to the center. To find the balance that is so important when push comes to shove. I feel like I'm talking in circles here, but really, this is such an important topic for today. Life is harder than it ever has been, just because there are so many more things to keep track of and to worry over than there have been in history previously. We forget to do the follow-up, the flip-side to that worrying, the letting go and just existing.

It's not a crime to let go...it's an absolute necessity, key to surviving our neotechnological age!

*lol, rant over*

[Pesha]

Frankly I do not put myself first enough. May sound selfesh but I need to be doing that more. I have done some really dumb things in my efforts to try and make everyone but me happy. Well it stops now and I have made a pleadge to myself to be moreinto ME.

BB
DS.

[Calyx]

I've been taking more time to myself lately. I think women in general have a hard time with this--whether it's a subcultural thing or a personal thing. We are so busy holding together everything in our lives, that we have a hard time making our own wants and needs a priority.


I noticed this paucity of time to self a while back--when I had my 2d son, actually. When my husband felt it necessary to go off at a moment's notice and do whatever, whereas I had to make sure I had someone to leave the kids with in order to just take a shower! Why was that? Why did I hem myself in like that? Somehow, I'd made a choice to let him have all the freedom in the relationship and give myself the short shrift.

Now, if I need to get away, if I have to go to the doctor, if I need a friggin' HAIRCUT (something I indulge in MAYbe 3 times a year, lol), I arrange it and I go. I don't sit at home, pining for freer times. I can make the choice to find a way to free myself, and often, I do. Because I am someone who needs her "me" time--not much, but enough to get through each day without doing myself or someone else some harm.

It really is important to recharge. I want to ask WHEN it became a luxury to rejuvenate your soul. Used to be that the Anglo cultures did this at each other's houses at visits or at church. Now the secular Anglo culture (to which *I* personally belong) has no outlet unless you manufacture it, and then it's not a "part of life," but rather time "stolen" and a luxury indulged in.

It's not a crime to let go...it's an absolute necessity, key to surviving our neotechnological age!

*lol, rant over*

This is a perfect example of what I am talking about--my DH has no problem doing what he wants either, but yet I feel guilty. WHY should I feel guilty for taking time for myself? HOW did it get to this for women? Since when should time for yourself be a stolen luxury away from your "real" duties? :rolleyes:

We do use a babysitter once a month, and I meditate in bed and do most of my talking on my commute home (yeah, yeah, I know). So I try to slip in as much "me" time as possible whenever I can. However, one of the things driving me nuts is that our youngest daughter has gotten into the habit of sleeping on the floor in our bedroom. She has a hard time going to sleep and gets lonely when older sis falls asleep, so she is up and down and up and down the stairs, and another hour is wasted getting her settled down. This is enormously frustrating and we are having a lot of difficulty working this issue. *sigh* This nightly performance is driving me insane as it cuts into the only hour of free time I have! ARGH!!!

I think personally, I am going to start working on NOT feeling guilty about doing what I want.....That will be tough....

[Calyx]

Frankly I do not put myself first enough. May sound selfesh but I need to be doing that more. I have done some really dumb things in my efforts to try and make everyone but me happy. Well it stops now and I have made a pleadge to myself to be moreinto ME.

BB
DS.

Good for you, sweetie! I think it's great! :huddle:

[Flaire-FireStar]

All too often. :fpatricks

I mean, throughout the day (well, afternoon), I do what I can to help out my family......morings are usually spent doing schoolwork...well, that could be considered for my instructors, so they don't have to e-mail me and ask me what the hell is going on.
In the evenings, usually I'm making blinkies....if I don't have any requests, I'll be doing them for me ( :bigredblu ) and I go into the chat daily now.
Before I go to sleep, I usually read..or write a letter or something like that. It's sorta my calming down time, since I can get pretty cranky some days. :lol:

[Faery-Wings]

Oh I so totally don't put myself first, nor make time for just me. Some of it is guilt propelled, some of it simply scheduling problems. Between the kids and the hosue and my business and friends and all that crap (:) ) some days it seems lik eI don't have time to breathe. Most other days I don't have a decent chunk of time, just a half hour here or there and it just seems to get pissed away doing house maintenence or phone calls etc. But time just for me, is extremely rare. Even right now, I am talking to DD while waiting a few more minutes to get DS off the bus.

I know I need to put myself first on occasion. It is party from being raised by an Italian mother who still does too much for me and my brother (35 and 37 yo!). Part of it is the guilt, although it is so weird and unexplainable why I feel that way, even though I do. But as I read all of your posts, it is very common to feel that way isn't it? I guess as nurturers, we become conditioned to putting our kids needs first whenthey are little and then we slowly let that take over us.

What do all of you think about staring a "Just for me" thread- we can take turns posting one thing we did simply for ourselves every day. If you like it, we'll start it today!

[Cerulean]

How often do you put yourself first? A lot. I'm single, childless and not working. I opted not to have children because I didn't really want them and didn't see a good deal for me there.

You'd better make some time for yourself because otherwise, it's not healthy. To me, it's really a question about guilt.

Aha! I just read your second posting Calyx. You need to tell your daughter to sleep in her own room, gently but firmly. Then follow up, no backsliding. Lock your door. Not claiming space for yourself is guilt-related, especially parents' bedrooms. Kids feel this. It's not healthy role-modeling for them, either.

How do your kids deal with both parents working and one not even being around? As much as I believe that parents need time to themselves, I also think that a parent should be home with the kids raising them.

[Jenne]

Chrissy1, great idea...go ahead (haven't checked to see if you did already, but I'm game!)...I so want to start a grass-roots movement of women taking better care of themselves. And I don't mean just the ones with children and spouses either, I mean women all over the danged world! Time to stand up and do what's right for us, you know?

Cerulean, I agree AND disagree with you. I agree that it *is* a matter of being healthy to take time for yourself.

But I also disagree that it just comes down to guilt (I know I paraphrased you, and forgive me if I misrepresent your thoughts). It's also prioritization. We (women, those I know of anyway) have stopped prioritizing our needs as important. Somehow, even as children some of us, we have been taught to give up our needs and rights as individuals while taking on whatever roles we do. We have to make a CONSCIOUS decision to do things for ourselves and needy and wanting individuals, whereas our male counterparts rarely think, just do (and I'm sorry for the gross overexaggeration, it's just been my experience).

And again, I would like to stress that in today's society, stress is running high. It causes hiccups in social areas that we just don't see until it's too late--children toting guns to school (and using them by gods), high divorce rates, suicide, and any physical ailment you could think of under the sun. People feel awkward complaining of stress and depression (my own husband, just because he is this way, for many reasons, calls these "the problems of the well-fed"...), but hey, they are facts of life and they are taking their toll on our collective health. We overeat and teach this to our children as a way to relieve stress and pressure. Satisfy the physical for the short-term rather than work on a long-term, more enduring emotional and spiritual balance.

Sigh. LOL Didn't mean to go off again.:strike: But as you may be able to tell, it's a subject near and dear to my heart...

[Cerulean]

I think you basically agree with me, it's a matter of terminology. In the modern world are there REALLY women who NEVER thought to take time for themselves? Decades ago maybe.

[Calyx]

I think you basically agree with me, it's a matter of terminology. In the modern world are there REALLY women who NEVER thought to take time for themselves? Decades ago maybe.



Hmmm, I have to agree with this one! I may not get to spend time on myself but I am CONSTANTLY thinking (and fantasizing) about doing it! I don't know any female that doesn't. There might be some out there, but my guess is they are rare!

I will try the tip about locking the door, but I am a little afraid that it would freak her out. I was firm tonite and so far they are both still upstairs, which is wonderful. yay!

As far as guilt related (about the bedroom sleeping), I don't know that it's that. It's basically more a matter of resignation. We just get worn down and take the easy approach sometimes, but it's time for it to stop now. And unless one of us is gone, they NEVER get to sleep in the bed. That's always been a very firm rule. So it's on a big pallet on the floor or nothing. Hubby is away at fire school right now. Turnarounds will end in April, then we can start getting back to our lives.

Your comment about staying home and raising the kids...well, I agree and disagree at the same time. That goes back to stay-at-home moms vs. working moms and what is better arguments, which should probably go in a separate thread! :lol: Just to sum up, I like working and it gives me a chance to use my brains and my talents. I don't always like the pressure or the assignments but I do enjoy adult stimulation, which I missed horribly when I was out when they were babies.

And as far as the thread about doing something nice for yourself, I think it's a great idea!!!
Maybe we should ask to make it a sticky. While I am not sure that I can actually post anything on a DAILY basis, it WOULD serve as a gentle reminder to everyone to stop and smell the roses, so to speak....

So start one! :lol:

[sweet nothings]

I dont often put myslef first, but the people I put before me are people that matter to me...I wouldn't do things for people who wouldn't do the same for me. Probably because I am not a ver trusting person...I've never really tried to fix the fact that I don't put myself first because it never really bothered me...until I'm taken advantage of, then I get upset...

I'm not sure if you understand my view point , but if you do, YAY YOU GET ME!! Haha...

[Linx]

I find it hard to do things for me. Like some others I feel guilty for it. I have a husband who works 12-16 hour days, 2 school age children, and I feel like taking away from the time, we have together is hard to justify.

I would like to take more for me. I mean while they are in school, I can usually get away on a day I am not working for lunch with a friend or something, but that is all *my time* amounts to. I think it will be easier for me if the kids were older, and I shared in the job field as much as my husband does. But unfortunately at this time I don't. So I spend my days making sure things are taken care of for them.

[absynthia]

I do not put myself first often enough. I know it's ude to my past (I won't get into it here, if anyone wants to know they can IM me and we'll share), but I don't think I'm deserving even of my own time. I work overtime, 20+ hours a week, without thinking twice about it, and work my life around it, in spite of the fact I've got a bad case of OCD and my house is trashed. ;) But seriously, I always put what other people, especially my friends and family, first. Lately I've tried to put my foot down, my family's gotten p*ssed off, and now I feel guilty.

Has anyone got a good coping mechanism for dealing with that kind of guilt? I'm really sick of carrying it, it's not my cross to bear, so to speak.

[Calyx]

I do not put myself first often enough. I know it's ude to my past (I won't get into it here, if anyone wants to know they can IM me and we'll share), but I don't think I'm deserving even of my own time.

Lately I've tried to put my foot down, my family's gotten p*ssed off, and now I feel guilty.

Has anyone got a good coping mechanism for dealing with that kind of guilt? I'm really sick of carrying it, it's not my cross to bear, so to speak.

I think maybe we need to start a thread about WHY women feel guilty for taking time for themselves and what we can do to get past this hurdle that society (and ourselves) has put up.

And no matter what your past is, sweetie (PM me if you need to talk), EVERYONE deserves time to themselves. It's a fundamental need that must be satisified in one way or another....

[Nitefalle]

I put myself first a lot. Perhaps it's because I was #4 out of 5 kids, I'm the dreamer in the family. Once I got my own room, I used to just sit by myself for hours, listening to the radio, dancing around, reading, dreaming, drawing, etc. I always had plenty of friends, but on school nights and such, it was just me. Even now, living far from home with my brother and with a boyfriend who demands much of my time (though I don't mind in the least) and school and work...I still find time for myself. I'm supposed to be studying for a test right now, but I just got home from work and had school before that today and this place helps me find my center, remind me what's important to me (my spiritual path). Sometimes (and this is about all I feel guilty for) I will call my boyfriend and tell him I don't feel well so I can just spend some time to myself because I don't feel like driving twenty minutes down to his house or packing an overnight bag. So I feel free to indulge myself all the time, lol, perhaps I should teach classes?

~N~

[Xentor]

I always put myself first.

I like to help and protect people. I can't, when I'm not happy or safe myself.

I have a great job, love my work and my colleagues (most of them, anyways). I do things I like and things I need to to keep safe and healthy. I'm quite selfish, that way.

[MoonFaerie]

I used to have a really hard time putting myself first. Growing up I did everything to try to make everyone around me happy. I am not totally sure why, or I might be able to fix the process a little more now. I hever quite saw it as a weekness I had. Sure I deprived myself. At the same time it made me feel good to help others or just see a smile on anothers face that I helped plant there. Now days I know it isn't healthy or fair to me, so I do my best to pamper myself whenever I get a chance.

~ MoonFaerie

[Muireannach]

I put myself first all the time, I love myself and take care of myself. I am not selfish, I do help others but I also value myself as a priority.

[Faery-Wings]

Xentor, interesting that you are the only male to respond and you replied without hestitation, without guilt or explanation. *smiles*

I haven't checked all of the threads, but if there isn't one yet, I'll start a "Just for Me Thread."

From the feeling I got from reading this thread, does it seem more that the parents have more guilt than those who are not? Are we being raised to think once we are moms we are not ourselves?

[Faery-Wings]

New thread is made!

:D

[Kadynas]

I used to never take any time out for myself... and I still don't much now, but I've gotten better... It just means less sleep! :lol: And I don't even have kids! I work 9-10 a night, 3rd shift, and it can be sooo hard to sleep in the daytime with noisy neighbors who apparently don't /have/ jobs! But lately I've been making time to do what I want... read more, bubble baths, and typing on MW all the time. So I get less sleep... I'll probably get woken up halfway through anyway so I might as well have fun! My next big challenge is to get back into writing and painting again, 2 of my favorite things, but ones that also seem to require a nice /big/ block of time to accomplish anything... :)

[Calyx]

From the feeling I got from reading this thread, does it seem more that the parents have more guilt than those who are not? Are we being raised to think once we are moms we are not ourselves?


Seems that way, doesn't it? and how the heck did THAT happen???? :yikes:

MUST.....CHANGE.....THIS.....MINDSET! :lol:

[MysticMama]

Put myself first? What's that mean?

[FaerieLuma]

I don't take much time for myself. I have a hubby and 3 kids (6 year old, 3 year old and 1 and a half year old...), so I'm always running around the house doing stuff. The only time I really take for myself is when I sit here before the computer and relax a little bit. Even my shower time is a rush:hehehehe: ...

[Hoot]

Before agribusiness, and such, farmers know that that they would have to set aside a certain amount of their crop after harvest so that they use that to plant crops for the next year.

Think about doing stuff for yourself as saving your seed crop so you will have something to plant later on.

Thank you for posting that - it's a really simple (not simple-minded, but elegant) and profound way of looking at this issue!

Mothers probably are more likely to make sacrifices in their "me time" for their kids - too many unwilling sacrifices may lead to resentments that aren't healthy. But for the most part, when we decide to have kids, I think we should put their needs on par with our own (which does not mean giving them everything they want).

After thinking about this, I actually get a lot of "me time" in my routines - sometimes I get more, depending on what's going on. (Lately it's been more hectic than I 'd like, but things will settle down again.) Coming here, spending time on my own pursuits through meditation, reading, and when I have time to spend on the projects around my home that I enjoy (even if the end result is shared) like painting furniture, needlework, gardening, cooking - are all ways I work in things I love to do.

Emphasizing enjoyment on a lot of these things - easing the pressure off (no more "I have to do this" or "I have to get this done" - I am bound by deadlines too much as it is) on stuff I'm supposed to be doing for pleasure is very important, too. It seems to me that we often choose to do things for pleasure, but turn them into chores, and I've been conscientiously dropping that mindset for several years.

I have to fit taking care of myself into daily routines (almost like car maintenance :lol: ) or it seems as if things begin to fall apart if too many details go unattended. Maybe I was taught this attitude - coming from a line of women who stepped in to work as family breadwinners (great-grandmother, grandmother, and mother) - or maybe it's just something I've learned on my own.

And is "me time" something we do solely for ourselves? For instance, I like looking good, so will get my haircuts, shop for clothes, etc. (to me, this is - again - maintenance). But I get the most out of time I have with my husband since he works very long hours and I don't get to do that as much as I'd like to - watching movies, playing games, taking walks, lounging in bed and reading to one another, cooking together... (We don't have kids, though I wish we did.)

Finally, what I need as "me time" seems to change with my life... Right now I find my job of writing/researching at home (which I worked hard to establish years ago as a way to work at home and have kids) is a bit isolating and ties me here at times. I'm yearning to get out more, but find myself inundated with details and stuff I don't enjoy all that much in order to get settled in a new city and take care of the household (taxes, arranging another move, etc.). So I find myself yearning for more "me time" away from home.

[13thChylde]

I'm married, and have two children and I still take time for myself regularly. My husband is a stay-at-home dad, so I don't have to cook or do laundry :) . When I get home from work, I go over their homework, read my mail, sometimes have a cup o'tea and then it's time for dinner, baths, reading, etc. Then after 9:00 they're all asleep and I have the place to myself for an hour or so.

Every year I go on trips without the family, along with the family vacations. I have to have time with my self and friends so that I can relax and replenish my self and have more of me to give to my children. If I get frazzled, I tend to turn into a snarling mess. Each of the children also get to have solo vacations at my husband's parents home in NJ...I think time on your own is a great learning tool.

[amberwolf]

Put myself first? What's that mean?

I cant help you Mystic with what that means i cant remember the last time I put myself first Im a single mum to two teens and Im always doing things for other people maybe its because i feel guilty if I dont..even though I know most of them are taking me for granted....I have never been the type of person that will say no no matter how crappy i feel somedays.....I made a decision last week that I was no longer being taken for granted by so called friends and take time out and spend sometime with me myself doing what i want to do for a change...and if thats selfish then so be it

[Calyx]

After thinking about this, I actually get a lot of "me time" in my routines - sometimes I get more, depending on what's going on. (Lately it's been more hectic than I 'd like, but things will settle down again.) Coming here, spending time on my own pursuits through meditation, reading, and when I have time to spend on the projects around my home that I enjoy (even if the end result is shared) like painting furniture, needlework, gardening, cooking - are all ways I work in things I love to do.

And is "me time" something we do solely for ourselves? For instance, I like looking good, so will get my haircuts, shop for clothes, etc. (to me, this is - again - maintenance). But I get the most out of time I have with my husband since he works very long hours and I don't get to do that as much as I'd like to - watching movies, playing games, taking walks, lounging in bed and reading to one another, cooking together... (We don't have kids, though I wish we did.)

Finally, what I need as "me time" seems to change with my life... Right now I find my job of writing/researching at home (which I worked hard to establish years ago as a way to work at home and have kids) is a bit isolating and ties me here at times. I'm yearning to get out more, but find myself inundated with details and stuff I don't enjoy all that much in order to get settled in a new city and take care of the household (taxes, arranging another move, etc.). So I find myself yearning for more "me time" away from home.

For me, Me Time is solely for me. I mean things like haircuts, shopping, reading, long uninterrupted baths, movie watching, seeing my girlfriends, etc. While there are many things I can count as Me Time such as cooking, gardening, craft making, special time with the girls and especially anytime with DH, as I am not seeing much of him these days, for me, real Me Time means solitude (unless it's the girlfriend thing).

I am one of those people who needs a certain amount of time alone, to do whatever I feel like doing. If I don't get enough of it, I am like 13thchylde, a frazzled mess!

My Me Time changes according to how I feel. Sometimes I just want to veg out and read, or sometimes do something ambitious. I just try to go with the flow, when I actually get the flow, that is! :lol: